A Fool To Think

Chapter One

"Hey Danny, Vivian." Martin greeted with a big smile as he came into the bullpen and settled at his desk. He had joined the team two years ago when their last teammate had her third child and decided to become a stay-at-home mother. Before coming to New York he had been stationed in Seattle working in the White Collar department. He never felt like he belonged in Seattle though. Sure he had plenty of friends there and enjoyed his work. But there was always something missing, and he knew what that was.

Love. It had been almost ten years since he'd graduated from college and almost every one of his friends from college were married. Most of the fraternity brothers he never thought would ever settle down had already found wives and started families. Some were already experiencing the birth of their second children. And he was simply alone.

When he came to New York, he vowed to start fresh. He promised himself that he would shed all of the painful memories of the past and forget the face of the woman who haunted his dreams. He would move on and find a new love. So far though, that hadn't happened. He was still haunted by that woman's face and assaulted by memories of his time with her, making it impossible for him to move on.

Although he hadn't found love here in New York yet, he didn't feel as out of place here as he had in Seattle. Vivian, Danny, Jack and Megan had become like a second family to him, immediately making him feel like a close friend that they had known for years.

Unfortunately, now Megan had transferred to the Counter-Terrorism Unit, leaving them with an empty spot on the team. He was happy for her because he knew that her first choice in assignment had always been Counter-Terrorism. They were all happy for her but couldn't help being sad that their friend was leaving the team.

"Hey Martin." Danny greeted back, barely looking up from his computer to glance at his friend.

"How was your weekend Martin?" Vivian asked, walking over to Martin's desk. She had taken an immediate liking to Martin when he joined the team. Although he had very little experience in Missing Person's because of his White Collar background, he seemed to have a big heart and a desire to help.

Her first instincts about him were right. He was dedicated to helping people and was one of the kindest men she had ever met. Danny always teased that Martin was a boy scout but it was true. Martin was one of the last few remaining gentlemen in the world.

She often wondered why it was so hard for him to find someone to love. He would go on dates and then always find something wrong with the woman. Her eyes were too close together, her ears were too big, she wasn't smart enough. The list of possible reasons he dismissed women was longer than a young child's Christmas list to Santa Claus.

He found reasons to dismiss the woman after the first date. Was there a reason for that defense mechanism? Was there a woman in his past that had broken his heart, making it harder for him to open up to other women? Was he scared of something? She'd likely never know because he always shied away from that topic when asked.

"It was fine." Martin shrugged.

"Did you do anything fun?" Vivian asked.

"Not really." He shook his head. "Just sat around my apartment. I did however have a very interesting appointment with my toilet and a cleaning brush."

"Sounds riveting." She smiled at his attempt of humor. "But didn't you have a date Friday night? It was with Bethany from human resources, right?" She saw him nod and continued on with her line of questioning. "So how did it go?"

He made the kind of face a child makes when they eat something they don't like. "I don't think it will work out between us."

Vivian sighed. She was sure that this date would be the one to break through the one-date barrier, but apparently she was wrong. "Why not?"

"Let me guess." Danny rolled his chair over to Martin's desk and intruded on the conversation. "Either she chewed her food loudly or her arms were too flabby. Am I right?"

"No." Martin shook his head.

"Ok then." Danny smirked. "What was wrong with her?"

"There was nothing wrong with her, per se." Martin protested.

"There had to be something bad that you noticed. You always come up with an excuse about why you don't want to date these wonderful women." Danny explained.

"I do not." Martin objected.

"You do too." Danny assured him. "Martin, man, I don't understand you. Most of the women in this office would give anything to go out on a date with you, even some of the married ones, but you don't give them the time of day. Then when you finally do, you find some minor little flaw and drop them like a hot potato!"

"I don't do that." Martin defended himself. "And besides, Bethany didn't have a minor little flaw. I couldn't have an intellectual conversation with her. It was impossible to talk about anything that didn't have to do with movies, television, music, fashion or celebrities. I can't be with a woman if I can't have a real conversation with her."

"It's like you're looking for the perfect woman." Vivian pointed out. "And I hate to disappoint you Martin, but there is no such thing."

Yes there is. He thought to himself. He had met the perfect woman for him. He had met her, fell in love with her, planned a life with her, and then lost her. But then again, maybe he never really had her to begin with. Maybe she was never really his.

"You have to lighten up a bit." Danny advised. "Or else you'll continue to find fault with every woman you go out with and then end up alone and bitter."

"Gee thanks for that advise." He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"It's just something to think about." Danny shrugged. "On a brighter note, our new team member is starting today."

"Oh yeah." Vivian smiled. "Today is the day that we find out who Megan's replacement is."

"I think I already saw her earlier before you got here Viv." Danny grinned.

"Her?" Martin asked. "It's a her?"

"Oh I definitely hope so." Danny chuckled. "I didn't get a good look at her because she was walking fairly quickly into Jack's office, but I did see enough to know that this is one hot blonde."

"So she's a blonde?" Vivian asked.

"Yeah." Danny nodded. "So that means that she's in no danger of falling prey to Martin's one-date barrier since he avoids all blondes like the plague." He turned to face Martin. "By the way, why is that?"

"I don't avoid blondes." Martin denied it but it was the truth. He avoided blondes at all cost because of her. She was a blonde—a beautiful blonde. He used to love running his fingers through her silky hair when they laid in bed together…

He shook himself out of thoughts, mentally berating himself for thinking about her again. It would be easier for him to move on if he just quit thinking about her and the time they had spent together. But that was easier said than done.

Danny could tell that he wasn't going to get any more information out of his friend and shrugged.

While they had been talking, Jack came out of his office with the new agent right behind him. He approached the rest of the team and cleared his throat to get their attention. "As you all know, we have a new agent joining us today to replace Megan."

Martin didn't bothering looking over at Jack or the new agent while he gave him speech, instead focusing on the paperclip that he was bending in his hands.

"She's joining us from the Florida branch." He pointed to the woman standing next to him. "I'd like to introduce you all to Samantha Spade."

As soon as Martin heard that name, he froze. Jack had to be kidding, right? There was no way that Samantha was their new teammate. If he turned around to meet her, he wouldn't see a beautiful blonde. He would see some other woman who happened to have the same name, right? Maybe a plump redhead or an older brunette? Of course Samantha Spade wasn't a very common name and he doubted that there were two women in the FBI with that same name.

"I want you all to give her the same kind of welcome that you received." Jack told them. Then he pointed to the rest of the team. "This is Danny Taylor, Vivian Johnson, and Martin Fitzgerald."

She slowly swallowed the huge lump in her throat that had formed when she walked out of Jack's office with him and saw Martin. At least she saw someone that looked a lot like him. But she had been hoping that her mind was just playing tricks on her again. Over the past ten years she had seen Martin in many different places. She'd see him in movie theaters, parks, coffee shops, and grocery stores Her mind was always subconsciously thinking about him and then manifesting itself into delusions of seeing him.

She was hoping that this time was no different. She wanted this to just be a delusion. But when she heard Jack introduce him, she knew that she had to admit that she was wrong. She was now officially a part of the same team as Martin. The same Martin that she had been so heavily involved with during her last year and a half of college. The same Martin that she had dumped. The same Martin that she alternately loved and hated depending on what day of the week it was.

This wasn't good. She couldn't see any possible way that this could turn out well. He obviously would recognize and remember her; after all they had shared together it was impossible to hope that he wouldn't. But how were they supposed to work together after everything that had happened between them?

"It's nice to meet you." Vivian smiled, shaking Samantha's hand.

"Yeah, it's very nice to meet you." Danny did the same thing as Vivian.

"Thank you." Sam smiled back at them. "I look forward to getting to know you all." She noticed that Martin couldn't even bring himself to look at her and that was fine with her. She hoped to delay the conversation they were likely to have for as long as possible.

Danny slugged Martin in the shoulder. "Martin, man, aren't you going to welcome the new girl?"

As soon as he heard her voice he sighed heavily. He didn't even have to look over at her to know that it was the same Samantha Spade that he'd been trying in vain to move on from for the past decade. Hearing that sweet voice of hers was enough to prove it to him.

"Sorry." Martin didn't even look over at her. "Hi." He said curtly, picking up a file folder and starting to write feverishly. Maybe if he kept writing, he would wake up and this would just be a dream—a very bad dream. Because as much as he missed her, he was beyond furious with her and didn't want to have to see her everyday at work.

"He's not usually like that." Danny apologized to Samantha. "Usually he has much better manners."

"Don't worry about it." Sam assured Danny, stealing a glance at Martin. "I'm used to dealing with guys like him."

Danny could tell that something was going on between Martin and the new girl, although he had no idea what it was. But Martin was always kind to everyone and always had good manners. The fact that he was being impolite to Samantha spoke volumes. Did they know each other from somewhere?

Jack had mentioned that Samantha was from the Florida offices. Danny was pretty sure that Martin had never been a part of the Florida office, but that didn't mean that Martin and Samantha hadn't met before. It would certainly explain the animosity he felt radiating from both of them. He vowed to make it his mission to find out the whole story here.