A/N: So after 5 years, I don't know why I'm surprised at the finale… Every finale has pissed me off, this one included. I barely watched this season, just the bits about Delena really. And I'm sure the rest of us are just as upset about losing Damon as I am. He's the reason I watch the show and I'm sure he'll be back. But if Elena goes back to Stefan… I don't know how I'll be able to keep watching… Anyways hope you all like. There will be more
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Three years had done nothing to lessen the pain of Damon's death. Elena stared at the Mystic Falls sign for over an hour, unable to actually bring herself to return home. It had been surprisingly easy to flip her switch, but still the crushing pain of losing Damon was still present. She had tolerated people asking her if she was okay, and if they could do anything for about a month before she cracked and slipped away in the middle of the night without a word to anyone. She fought so hard to be strong for him, to move on, but she couldn't do it. She hated being in this world without him.
Everyday was a struggle without him, just simple tasks, like feeding. She hadn't killed many people. Only early on. She had been unable to control herself the first few months after losing him. She was angry at everyone, everything. She wanted the entire world to suffer like she was, but after six months of killing random men that were barely used for anything for than food, she couldn't take it. She didn't want to be a monster, and she didn't want Damon to be disappointed in her. So she shut it off. Totally off. But she couldn't shut her heart off. Her chest was still tight with grief, even now. She constantly felt like someone was sitting on her all the time, unwilling to let her forget her soul mate.
Her blonde hair fluttered in front of her face, and she let out a sigh. She had changed everything when she left Mystic Falls, her car, her hair, her cell phone. She brought nothing with her when she disappeared. She didn't want any reminder of her past, no reminder of Damon. Her hair was a bit shorter now and a golden honey color, flowing about her face as she leaned against her red corvette. It wasn't subtle, but it was very unlike her. She didn't want anyone trying to find her, she had to change everything. She left her cell phone with the rest of her things three years go, so everyone would know she didn't want to be found. And without their witch, she had stayed pretty hidden. Damon would have been the only one to look for her really though.
For the last few months, something had been tugging at her heart. Something strong. She tried to fight it, but it plagued her night and day. Filling her nights with unexplainable dreams. She hadn't slept in weeks because the moment she closed her eyes, he was there and it was unbearable to wake up without him. But she knew, deep in her heart, she had to come home. At least to check on everything. She would be gone before anyone knew she was around. She wasn't ready to face them. She wasn't ready for the reminder of him. She knew her friends pretty well, they would jump on her as soon as they saw her, and she couldn't do that. They would want her to come home and this wasn't home without Damon.
Elena forced herself back in her car and headed on the familiar journey back into her home town. Her sunglasses hid her face quite well as her eyes scanned every detail. People were still milling about as if their town was home to the damned. The Grill had been rebuilt since its destruction, looking better than ever. But when she got the entrance to the long driveway to the boarding house, she didn't like the way her heart skipped. She should just come back when it was dark, so she could just peak. This was the last place she wanted to be.
But her hands had other ideas, and she didn't even notice that she had started heading down the driveway. The house still looked the same as she parked a little away from the house. There were no cars in the driveway; maybe she would be lucky and no one would be home. The strange tugging on her heart though was more insistent now, she couldn't ignore it. Silently, she approached the house and the unmistakable sound of Caroline's voice pierced her ears. But it was too late. The front door ripped open and before she could blink. Caroline had her in a fierce hug. "I knew you'd come home!"
Elena awkwardly hugged her, having never had affectionate touching with anyone in the last three years. "Caroline," she greeted, easily stepping back from her once friend. "I wasn't expecting to see anyone." So much for leaving unnoticed. Everyone in Mystic Falls would know that she was home now. Caroline was the last one she wanted to know about her presence.
"Are you kidding?" Caroline objected, guiding her into the house and right into Stefan. "I told you it was her. Just… with my hair."
Elena's fingers curled into fists as she stared at her ex love. "Stefan." She couldn't do this. It was too soon. The reminder of Damon was coming down on her waves. Things she had tried so hard to forget and suppress were hitting her full force. Even with her emotions off.
"It's been a long time," he said in his mopey voice. His voice filled with pity, for her. She didn't want that from anyone. Especially from Stefan. Damon had risked his life for his brother, and she would have done the same, but that didn't mean she had to like it.
She rolled her shoulders as she moved into the parlor, a familiar smell assaulting her nose, just briefly before it was gone. Her brows creased for a minute, but she let it go as she watched them. "Why are you staring at me like that?"
"We haven't seen you in three years Elena," Caroline said in a much calmer voice. "We looked for you. We were worried about you."
"I'm fine," she said with a shrug. "Just needed a break." She folded her arms over her chest. "How is everyone?" The faster she made with the small talk to find out everyone was fine, the faster she could get out of here. The faster she could get back to her fast car and get as far away from Mystic Falls as she possibly could. It still smelled like Damon, like he had never left. His cologne was still in the air, the smell of leather and whiskey mixed in. Distinct smells that she did not want to remember.
Stefan took a step toward her, pausing when she took one back. "What's wrong?" he asked. She hated the sound of his voice when he asked her that. Already she was overwhelmed and it was becoming harder and harder to keep herself in check.
Elena's shoulders went up defensively. "I don't like being touched," she said honestly. "My switch is off."
"How long?" Stefan asked in concern.
She laughed, but it sounded harsh even to her own ears. "How long do you think, Stefan?" What kind of question was that? "I knew this was a bad idea." Her emotions were bubbling to the surface, clawing to get out of her, desperate for relief from someone to ease the ache in her soul.
Caroline put a hand on Stefan's arm. "Elena, we love you," she said softly. "And we miss you. All of us. And there is something we have to tell you…"
"I should go," Elena said as her stomach churned. Something was wrong. She should be able to handle this. She felt like she was about to be sick the lump was so big in her throat. Her chest constricted further in her chest as the front door opened, and her world tilted.