That night at the mansion, Damon went through a slightly above average amount of bourbon while thinking about Elena, and what had just happened on her porch. He kept going over the details… how it had felt to kiss her…to be that close to her… since he knew it might never happen again.

But as much as he wanted to stay in this heavenly state, a guilt kept creeping into his mind. It wasn't like the usual "oh Stefan would be so mad at me if he knew" or even "what I did was probably wrong" feeling that he was used to living with. It was a new kind of guilt, one that was taking over his mood like it wasn't planning to let go. The kind of guilt that comes from something you actually feel guilty about. It wasn't really making sense.

Why all of sudden had this guilt gotten so much more annoying? As he sat longer in his chair, sipping his lukewarm drink, he realized the difference. It was because in the course of that day, the number of people betraying his brother had officially gone from one to two. He wasn't just living in his own little dream anymore. He had an accomplice. An accomplice who had met his kiss, touched his hand, and taken a slight gasp for breath as he walked away.

A loud alarm clock radio went off, and Elena jolted up in bed. She wasn't taking an early morning run, training with Ric, or even meeting Bonnie for coffee at the grill to talk about their latest important plans. This morning, she was taking Jeremy to the airport.

As sad as she was to say a temporary goodbye, she was actually in a good mood, feeling like for once, she was doing the right thing when it came to her little brother. It was something she should have done a long time ago. She smiled at herself in her dresser mirror, looking at a picture of the two of them stuck to the glass. She thought about how quickly Jeremy would fit in when he got to Denver, and all the girls who would be lining up to meet him.

Elena took a closer look at herself in the mirror, and realized she hadn't put on makeup in weeks. She didn't look too bad, though, so imagine if she took a little time, she thought, brushing on some lip gloss, and smoothing her hair. You never knew who you were going to run into downstairs.

Seated at the breakfast table, she saw Jeremy and Alaric finishing toast, and ready to head out the door. Jeremy's one bag was sitting in the hall. Always a light packer. As she walked into the kitchen, Elena realized Damon was also sitting at the table, and she felt a wave of warmth rise into her face. She wasn't surprised he was there to help them through this tough goodbye, but it didn't change the flood of feeling that came over her.

Damon looked up, and she smiled.

"Don't mind us. I'm sure your last living relative won't mind if you catch a few more zzzz's while we take to him the airport," he said.

Elena rolled her eyes and poured some juice, but she was listening closely for any special tint to his comment or something different in his eyes. There was nothing but the usual Damon. Almost as if to answer her silent question, he got up, walked into the hall, and said something to Jeremy she couldn't hear. Some of the warmth was leaving her face. Something wasn't quite right.

As they huddled around Jeremy before he boarded the plane, Elena gave him one more hug. The only thing that helped was knowing, however much she would miss him, that he would be safe. Elena, Ric, and Damon headed for the car. With Damon driving, and Elena riding shotgun, she tried to catch his eye a couple of times, for a little secret moment, but he was acting just too normal. She brushed his hand almost as if accidentally, but not quite. He didn't seem to notice. It was maybe the 200th time she had wished Alaric wasn't around, which was a horrible thing to think about someone who was basically her only family now.

Back at the house, Elena was starting to wonder if last night on the porch had been some kind of psychotic break that she only imagined in her head. Damon had dropped them off, and gone back to the mansion. She wasn't going to be tortured all day thinking about this. She needed to know what was going on in his head. Elena couldn't remember the last time she felt so mentally out of control. Considering the events of her life, that was saying a lot. Minutes later, she was knocking on Damon's door.

"I don't think you've knocked since 2009," he smirked when he opened it. "Usually you're in the house, checking the mail, and unloading the dishwasher for about an hour before I even know you're here."

"I didn't know what you were doing – didn't want to… interrupt." She stopped. It wasn't like she thought there was another girl there! She was starting to sound a little crazy.

"Well, by all means, interrupt. I'm just going through some old journals of Stefan's, looking for clues to how he got his humanity back.. those times he went off the rails. Or maybe I'm trying to figure out how to tell if he even is off the rails. Anyway, just a little light reading."

Why were they always talking about Stefan? Oh, that's right Stefan is Damon's brother! Elena realized something she probably should have realized a while ago – however over Stefan she is, Damon is never going to stop loving his brother. Right now, she didn't even want to hear his name.

"Oh, well I guess I'll just let you get back to that. I was thinking about grabbing some lunch at the grill, but I'll just call Caroline or something."

"Okay, well order off their lowfat menu – you don't want all those workouts with Ric to be for nothing," he cracked. He had picked up one of the journals, and wasn't even looking up at her – just skimming along. "By the way that was a joke. You know I know there's no lowfat menu at the grill."

Elena was about to walk out the door, frustrated, and not really understanding much more than when she got there. She couldn't think of any words to say to Damon to ask why he was acting like nothing had happened. Suddenly she stopped in her tracks. The thought of walking back up her front steps, across the porch, and into her house made her almost sick. She couldn't sit in her room and write about her thoughts anymore. She couldn't agonize over whether she could finally tell Caroline or Bonnie the truth about "switching Salvatores." More than anything, she knew that it was time for a new chapter. Maybe it hadn't exactly been written yet, but she had the outline in her head, and it didn't involve a little late morning witty banter.

Elena turned around and walked toward Damon, with a little smile on her face that he had never seen before. In the past, when he saw Elena with that smile, it turned out not to actually be Elena.

"Why are you so worried about my figure? Is Cheeseburger Junkie not my most attractive look?" she said, just a little closer to him than he was used to. Suddenly, he got the feeling that what was going on in his living room was more interesting than Stefan and Lexie, circa 1936. What had she just said? Wasn't that sort of thing usually his line? Before he could even think, Elena reached up with one finger and touched his lips.

"I don't worry about the empty calories you drink day and night. In fact, let me see if you've started yet. I bet I can taste it."

In a move that was like something from an alternate universe, she leaned up to him and lightly, but slowly, kissed his mouth.

"Well, I guess you get a later start on Wednesdays," and she turned to walk out the door.

He couldn't stand it anymore. He wanted to do the right thing, and to get rid of this awful feeling he had about what seemed to be happening with his brother's girl. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't even close to being enough. She had come with a secret weapon – a side of herself he had never seen.

She took another step, but he flashed toward her, moving in front of her. It happened at the speed of light, but also like slow motion to her, because she knew that what would follow would be unlike anything she had ever experienced.

**to be continued**