Well, this is awkward.
First and foremost, I need to wholeheartedly apologize to each and every person who has been a reader, no matter how early or how late you started reading my story.
Normally, this isn't something I like to talk about, however you all deserve to know the truth of the matter and why I did what I did.
When I was fifteen, I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder. Over the last mumbles number of years, I've been on numerous medications to help control my symptoms. The last five years I've been good. My symptoms have been largely well regulated between my medication as well as various other exercises that help keep everything in balance. I haven't had an episode in years.
Until just after New Years this year.
One of the biggest things I do to help control my episodes and keep me in balance is going to the gym and picking heavy things up then putting them back down.
With COVID, I haven't been able to workout at a gym in almost a year now. It all came to a head at the end of January when I had my first depressive episode in, like I said, almost five years.
That day, and as some of you may have guessed from my changed username, I had two reviewers write reviews that pushed me over the edge. Looking back, they weren't even bad. They were nitpicking tiny little details in the story. It was more annoying than anything. Normally I would have easily been able to laugh and roll my eyes at such childish comments. However, if you or anyone you know that has bipolar disorder, you know that during an episode, you don't always have the most rational thoughts.
Those comments made me go back and reread my story. The only way to get rid of the self-destructive thoughts I was having was to do the only rational thing.
Delete everything.
I'm not going to bore you with all the details, and I certainly am not writing this expecting people to instantly forgive me or pity me. I just know that you all deserve an explanation.
But most importantly, you deserve an APOLOGY!
I am SO sorry. I know that there are a lot of you that enjoyed my story. I LOVED my story and I don't want it to end nor be left unfinished. Aside from the fact that I want to finish this story for myself, you all DESERVE for me to continue writing and to finish this story.
I won't lie. I'm not better. There are still days where it physically hurts to get out of bed. However, I'm getting better every day.
Over the next several weeks, while I work on myself and my mental health, I will be reuploading two chapters each week. That way, hopefully at least, by the time I finish uploading the last chapter, I am back to 100% and ready to churn the rest of this story out.
Once again, I am so incredibly sorry to all my readers. I hope you can forgive me, but I don't expect it to happen right away. I will work my ass off to earn your forgiveness in time.
I love you all and your support and kind words really have meant the world to me.
Without further ado, let's get back to Tides of Change.
With Love, Zach - AKA: Aello