Only in death can someone finally feel complete. Only in death can one truly reach the end. To some, death should be feared, to others, they welcome it like an old friend. But to those that have lost someone, its a cruel twist of fate.
Ten Days since that twist of fate. Ten days since he set off on his adventure. Ten days since he lost her… A goddess he barely knew but had come to love. He promised to protect her. Promised to fight by her side. His dream was to protect everyone, and watch them smile on a safe world. But fate is cruel and he failed.
One man was given a choice. Risk everyone and everything for the sake of one girl. However he never had a choice. She would have never forgiven him. The choice had already been made for him yet nobody warned him. He allowed himself to believe in a false hope and now he's paying the price.
He looked out across the fast empty lake a reminder of his state of being. His dreams had been shattered, his ideals burned and thrown to the wind. His heart ground into dust… He felt nothing but sadness and regret. While her voice haunted him.
Artemis… A delicate flower, pure and vibrant. She was kind, beautiful and strong. She was like a beacon of hope to him. Long had his thoughts been on the sword princess, someone so unattainable yet he never gave up trying. Then she arrived. A goddess, offering him a journey across the lands, a quest to shoot him into the pages of history… And a chance to fall in love…
At first he found her strange. The way she acted, the way she spoke. It was like a child curiously poking at a new toy. His goddess had spoken of her with admiration, Hermes with fear. Both retold stories of her beauty and bravery and her hatred of men and perverts. He didn't know if to admire her or be afraid of her. But the closer they got the more he became conflicted.
For day and night as they travelled they were inseparable. She latched onto him and would ask the most curious of questions. Hestia and Lili would get jealous but he barely noticed. Even with a great expanse in his view he found himself looking at Artemis. Her blue hair would normally be tied back but on occasions she'd let it flow freely and blow in his wind. From time to time it would blow in his face but he enjoyed its softness, the smell like freshly picked flowers.
The longer it went on the more curious and daring she would become. From the very start she would lean back into him and comment on his heartbeat. At one point she thought it might explode. He wouldn't lie, he enjoyed every second of it. By the third day he'd wrapped his arms around her and started to rest his head on hers. At one point he had fallen asleep and both had nearly met an early demise. He swore not to do that again. Hestia and Lili would argue over taking turns, wanting to ride with Bell. However Artemis had made it clear she was the only one. By the last few days they were holding hands constantly, he didn't know if he started it or if it was her but he enjoyed it all the same.
However he still didn't allow himself to fall for her. He enjoyed her company, her touch and her beauty but he couldn't fall in love. He felt it was a curse if he did. Not for him but for her. She would live forever never having him by her side never to love another… That all changed that night. He watched from afar, a suggestion from Hermes to get a glimpse of true beauty. He regretted it the moment he agreed but what he saw was pure and gorgeous. By mistake he had tripped and alerted her. With that he feared she'd hate him, or worse beat him for his actions.
She didn't, Instead she called him forward as if she was expecting him. He gulped as he found it hard to talk at first, constantly staring at her body. Even behind a towel he could make out her curves. But the two quickly started talking. She asked a question. Something he didn't expect her to ask. But it opened his eyes. Goddess she was but she was still a girl, she wanted to be seen like anyone else and treated like them all the same. The night drew on. They danced on the lake, not a care in the world. As they finished he could think of no one but her. He wrapped his arms round her, closed his eyes and accepted what he had tried to deny. Love… A promise was made. Ten thousand years of love…
That was the last moment, the next day fate played its hand and he watched in despair at the cold truth of the situation. He had learned to love her, but knew he had to lose her. The spear had shattered, the beast crippled but death still loomed overhead. Knife in hand he cried, screaming in his head to stop. But the world needed a hero and he was chosen. He felt the same pain as he stabbed her chest. A bright light engulfing them both. It blinded him. When he opened his eyes she was there, spear in hand crying. He dropped to his knees and wept. She asked him if he remembered the promise. He nodded. With that she thanked him and her final words were a repeat of the promise.
He sat on the water's edge and cried as he remembered. He swore he would never forget!
The rest of the group hadn't waited around, the Hermes Familia packed up shortly after and headed back to Orario. Asfi and Ryuu joined the main group, Asfi to keep and eye on Hermes and Ryuu to offer comfort to Bell. However as they would find out he was in no mood to talk to anyone.
The journey back was a dull. The once cheery group of adventures were now left with a bitter taste in their mouths. Welf and Lili watched from afar as their leader and friend tore himself apart. They couldn't get close without igniting a rage. Not even Hestia, his own goddess, could approach him.
They all knew the cause. How couldn't they? It was hard to watch them get so close. Artemis was the goddess nobody thought could fall in love. But she did and with Bell of all people. Hestia learned too late the fate that awaited her and she was powerless to stop it. She could accept it better then Bell. Death was never the end. She would reincarnate and she would she her again. But Bell was different. He would never see her again. He would die with that loss and reincarnate with no memories of her or the love they shared.
To everyone Bell was a pillar of hope. A ray of sunshine in the dark times and a champion to rally behind in the tough. No one expected him to take it so hard. Some foolishly believed he would dust it off and get on with it. What fools they were.
Now they could only look at him from afar. Broken! He refused to eat anything and he spent all his time away from them. He avoided all contact with everyone, casting himself into the shadows. The most they saw was him coming back to sleep. Normally before or after everyone else. Attempts to speak with him were met with grunts and harsh glances.
Everyone knew something went on between them. Even those that didn't want to believe it, Lili knew, Welf knew, Hestia knew… It was hard to deny the truth. Even harder now seeing him in such a state.
As they sat around the campfire fire to eat one thing was on everyone's mind. Helping Bell. But how could they. In the space of a single day he watched everything he held dear crumble to dust...
The group had once again stopped for the night. Moments after they touched down, Bell disappeared into the darkness. Nobody followed him instead it had become an unspoken rule. They just lowered their heads and continued on with setting up camp.
Once all the tents we're up and the group went about preparing something to eat. Even with the extra supplies from Hermes, they didn't cook anything large. They had no reason to celebrate and most of the time they let the food go cold as they barely touched it. As the night grew older all but three went to bed. Most prayed that the next morning they'd wake up to everything changed.. But it was a fool's dream.
Bell was still missing, probably wandering the nearby forest. The other two were Hestia and Hermes who had decided to wait for his return. But as the night rose above their heads the conversation took a turn for the worse.
"Tell me Hermes... Have we broken him?"
Hestia watched from afar as the large fire burned brightly. She slowly moved closer towards it hoping to catch the heat off the breeze. It's warmth invited her to sit closer and embrace in its warm bounty. While the cold truth of the situation started to weave its way in.
Hermes meanwhile sat quietly. Watching and waiting. He was good at that, but even this was to much for him to handle. He stared into the fire, the embarrassed crackling and fading into the night sky. He didn't have anything to say. He didn't admit the truth!
"Hermes we can't ignore this!"
Hestia spoke up this time louder, but the god showed no sign that he had heard her. He acted as if he wasn't paying attention, emotionless as he continued to sit in silence watching the flames. With her fist clenched she went to open her mouth but stopped.
Hermes turned to her with a defeated look on his face. He grabbed a nearby stick throwing it into the flames, it was quickly engulfed and slowly burnt to ash.
"I'm not ignoring the problem Hestia! Believe it or not I'm trying to think of a way to fix it".
He tried to be his normal carefree and cheerful self. However he couldn't. Instead he was angry. Angry at himself for believing this would all blow over. His cheerful chants had fallen on deaf ears, it slowly dulled with each passing day. Even his posture had become sluggish as he began to focus on the problem.
Hestia flung herself into his response.
"Fix it? FIX IT! Hermes thanks to your meddling he becomes an emotional wreck! He won't speak to any of us! He spends every night hiding away as far from everyone as humanly possible and any attempt to talk to him is met with furious rage! SO TELL ME HOW THE HELL YOU INTEND TO FIX THAT!"
Hermes went quite again. For once she was right. He fucked up. He might have just thrown his and Zeus' grand plan on the fire. Bell Cranel, the boy he believed would become the last great hero. The one destined to finish the three great quests and bring peace to the world. He had cared little before about what attractions he took to further his plan. Scheming and plotting didn't matter what he had to do to further his plan. But this time. This time he may have gone too far.
"Hestia I..."
Hestia shot up, now standing mere inches from the god.
"What Hermes! what?! Are you sorry for interfering in matters that didn't concern you! Have you finally realised that perhaps pushing them closer was a bad Idea! Come on tell me!"
Hestia didn't even try to hide her voice. She didn't even care if she woke everyone up. Let them hear she thought. Let them finally understand the truth.
Hermes wasn't about to sit and take this. He furiously threw a stick into the fire and stood to meet her head on. Like her, he had little care if anyone heard them this was a long time coming.
"I TRIED! I did everything, I could. You may not like what I did but I had no choice! I had to ensure that we succeed because believe it or not Hestia we nearly died!"
Hestia stood firm but was unable to get a word in a Hermes relentlessly shot back.
"Not, just me and you. Everyone, If we had waited any longer there wouldn't be a world. I refuse to let that happen! So yes I pushed them closer. But I tried to find another solution even up until the last moment!"
He looked at her with a distasteful stare.
"What did you do huh? Did you ever bother to see the bigger picture? Did you try to find a solution? No! Your response to finding out was to chuck the only hope into the river!"
Hestia took a step back, but Hermes didn't ease up.
"You spent the entire time worrying that you might actually lose Bell to your best friend. I found it hard to believe that you could even call yourself a frien…"
Hestia lashed forward and slapped him. He was taken off guard as he fell to the floor grasping his swollen cheek. He looked to the girl he admitted to himself that it was in poor taste to bring up her jealousy. However…
"Go on Hestia tell me I'm wrong? Tell me you didn't mind she was close to your precious child?"
Hestia dropped her hands and kicked the ground below her feet. Her heart heavy with regret. She thought back to the time she had and how she spent most of it trying to break them up.
"I'm not proud of what I did... I-I nev…"
She stopped unable to continue. Legs shaking, tears falling down her face. All she could see was her friends face… Both happy and sad. It hurt more then any physical pain could!
"I...I just couldn't stand it...S-she c-couldn't, never love so-some one… S-so why? Why did it have to be Bell!"
Finally her legs gave out as she collapsed to the floor. She pounded the floor with her fist as if striking an invisible force with fury."
'I loved him! Loved him more then any other… But he never accepted me, never looked at me like her. My own friend did what I couldn't. I was jealous angry that she easily got his attention!"
"And now…. Now she's dead… And I did nothing!"
Hermes looked at the poor goddess, she was beating herself up over her friends death, he regretted what he said the moment he said it. He could only comfort her in her time of grief and he had just poked the fire…
"I'm-I'm sorry… It was wrong of me to say that… She was your friend after all we all have spats with friends… You didn't know till."
She didn't look up to meet his gaze, he instead knelt down to her level and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"I'd lie if I said I knew it was Bell… In truth I hoped it would be him… I took the quest expecting it to be no one else. When he stepped up I knew it would be him. Unlike the crowd I wasn't surprised… He's special after all."
Hestia nodded to his comment but dug her fingers into the ground.
"Why did it have to be Bell Hermes? Surely their we're better options?"
Hermes patted her back as he shook his head.
"It was Artemis that made the choice, we can't say what she saw in him but she never regretted her decision… Perhaps it was love at first sight. Sound familiar?"
She nodded.
"She was just like me back then…"
Hermes chuckled
"That boy managed to make two of the three great virgin goddesses fall in love... I'm kind of jealous…"
His joke did little to lift the spirits, but he didn't think it could hurt ever. He understood she was in pain over her friend's loss but the past was the past now and they needed to look to the future.
"We'll have time to mourn her death when we get back… For now we need to help Bell. You love him don't you? Now it's time to show it. Help him, be the shoulder he needs to cry on. The longer we leave him to suffer alone the harder it will be for him to let go."
Hestia gripped the ground and nodded as she forced herself to her feet. The two gods found themselves staring into the flames.
"You know when we get back, he'll be greeted as a hero? The guild may have not sanctioned the quest but almost half Orario turned out to that festival… And the gods know Artemis was involved…"
He sighed kicking his boot into the ground, kicking it multiple times.
"I received a letter a couple night's back… Apparently the whole city was celebrating, they cheered for the hero that saved them but they're not sure who… But whisper have already begun to spread…"
Hestia nodded understanding the situation.
'Its what he always wanted… To be a hero of the people. But he won't see it like that!'
With deep regret she sat down and looked to the moon above.
"Can you do anything? To stop it I mean?"
Hermes looked at her with a disheartened look.
"Stop the rumours spreading? No… I can, however, ask the guild to put out a hush order out. However I'm not sure how much good as it'll do us now."
He throw another log on the fire. The embers shooting up into the airs. He took off his hat and laid it down next to him as he ran his hand through is hair.
"My main worry is Bell's mental state… He's emotional and unpredictable who knows how he'll react to peoples questions. Last thing we want is for him to get violent!"
'...'
"Bell's not like that Hermes, but you have a point. He won't even talk to us but the guild is going to be meticulous with their reports… They won't hold back in questioning him will they!?"
Hermes shook his head.
"No and they'll no doubt judge him for his actions. Required or not he still did kill a goddess of heaven. There are gonna be those that call for him to be punished…"
Hestia scoffed at the thought, she knew the gods were petty and they would get a good laugh out of stomping on the weak. Even if its one that saved them.
"I wouldn't worry much about that though… He's quite popular and enough gods will be grateful that he saved there skins. The guild will drop the matter but a report still needs to be made…"
He leaned back against the tree he parked himself beside. He looked over at the dark forest nearby wondering about the white haired boy.
"Perhaps I should go speak with him?"
Hestia shot him a glare.
"Don't!"
Hermes sighed.
"I'm just trying…"
"You're meddling Hermes! You have been since the very start! Right now Bell is suffering and I don't want to see him any worse…"
He could just pound his head against the tree trunk as he started to lose patients with his fellow goddess.
"Look I don't see many options. He's been hiding away since we left the temple, nobody and I mean nobody has spoken to him since. Imagine his mindset Hestia!"
"I am! No offence, you're not in mine or his good books, I wouldn't be surprised if he punched you in the face. But you know how he feels about the gods!"
He couldn't deny his relationship with the boy had become strained, but he hoped that he could at least get him talking. Even if his face had to take a punch.
"Perhaps letting off some steam will do him some good. Better then holding it all in wouldn't you say?"
Hestia nodded but she didn't like it.
"Fine Hermes, but I swear that if you make this any worse I'll make you regret it! Even if I have to cut your balls off and force them down your throat!"
He felt a large ball form in his throat as he gulped loudly.
"Noted…"
He grabbed his hat before climbing to his feet. He slowly made his way past her, as he followed the path into the dark forest… He had a good idea were he could find Bell but he knew he would have to be careful. He knew Hestia was the least of his worries…
Meanwhile, on the other side of camp, past the many trees that shielded the view. Bell Cranel laid on a bed of grass staring up at the moon above, his eyes saddened by its sight a constant reminder. He found himself listening to the sounds of insects and creatures of the night. If he could he'd ignore them like everything else...
Honestly though, it calmed him. If only for the briefest of moments it never lasted. He would find a small amount of calm before the pain and suffering struck back! Always the same. He'd find a quiet spot away from everyone, stare up at the night sky and listen. Attempting to focus on the little details. Trying to forget… if for the briefest of moments. But he couldn't and nor did he want to.
He could never go more the a few minutes without thinking about her. But it was just a cruel reminder that brought him back down to hell. Many times he imagined her next to him. The two of them staring at the stars above, hand in hand… He cried at the thought.
He hated it. Wishing that things had gone differently, that he could have saved her. That instead of her disappearing she would return his embrace. He would hold her close and never let her go. He wanted to tell her she was safe now and everything was going to be alright.
But the harsh reality was she was dead. He failed. Everything he told her that night was a lie. He failed in his duty to protect her, to keep the promise he made to her. It hurt like a hot iron stabbing his heart.
"Why me! Why me of all people! Why did you have to choose me!?"
He slammed his fist to the ground in anger. Every moment he tried to forget and move on she would always come back to haunt him. The image of her smiling face was like a punch in the stomach while the thought of them being so close was like daggers being thrust into his heart.
He missed her, ohh by the gods did he miss her. Whenever he had a moment he imagined her smiling face, the joy it brought to his heart. He could see her lying beside him even now. He hoped that she would reach out and hold her hand on his cheek. He cried as he brought his own to meet hers. But was met with nothing but the rough skin of his own cheek.
'Damn it all!'
He clenched his fist as he thought about her last words to him. They give him hope for the future. But they also were a cruel reminder!
"When next we meet... "
He could only manage a few words but that was it. They were more than enough. It hurt… For a time he believed those words but they were just false hopes. He would never get to see her again. Not in this life… Perhaps in another but he'd have no memory of her.
He closed his eyes and imagined her standing before him. He took the time to remember even the littlest of details about her. Her fair skin, jewel like eyes that sparkled in the light. Her soft flowing hair that seemed to follow like water in his fingers. Her delicate smile which graced her lips and her delicate frame which moved with such grace.
He opened his eyes and looked out across the lake. If possible he would always find a body of water to sit by. It was a welcoming sight for him. It reminded him of the last night they shared. He could remember it as clear as day. When she asked him to dance with her. He couldn't refuse her request. And they dance into the night.
Tiny ripples formed in the water as it swayed from side to side. Almost as if it was dancing. He pictured her wearing nothing but a towel as they elegantly danced on the waters edge. A smile like none other, a blessing to behold. He smiled.
"That was it… The moment I realised…"
He gripped the grass in his hands, as he spoke to himself or perhaps he hoped her spirit could hear his voice.
"I loved you…"
The scene he imagined was like a mirror image of that night. The two dancing back and forth. Enjoying themselves without a care in the world. Nobody would disturb them. They were alone and they enjoyed every second of it.
But just like that night, the dancing stopped. The water now whole again as it echoed across the water's surface. He could see it, the moment clear as day. She asked him to make a promise that they would share in ten-thousand years of romance. With that, they shared a kiss sealing the promise.
However that was nothing but a cruel dream that his mind created. In reality, he got embarrassed and couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, the two just awkwardly laughed before heading back to camp… It was his biggest regret.
'It could have been so much more!"
His mind had become obsessed with that moment. If only he hadn't been scared to admit his feelings. She had basically admitted hers but he was too stuck in his ways. He imagined every way it could have played out. Every possible way he wanted to admit it to her. He wanted to grab her hands and shout it to the heavens. He wanted to say nothing and just kiss her for no words could express his feelings...
"BELL ARE YOU OUT HERE?"
A Voice called out from the shadows knocking him out of his thoughts. He was furious. He smashed his fist into the ground as he sat up, turning to the direction it came from. He waited with an angry glare for however it was!
It didn't take long for the person to make themselves known. With a slow and cautious walk Hermes came into view. He stopped at the trees edge and looked at the boy. He could feel his glare even before he stepped out.
'Well… Here I go."
He took a deep breath and took the first step, once he was clear Bell wasn't going to lash out at him he took another. All the while he held his hands out, as if he was trying to tame a wild beast.
"Bell it's Hermes… Look I know it's been rough these last few days but we need to talk?"
Bell just turned his head to the side staring at the tree's, Hermes took it as a sign he was okay, when in reality Bell didn't care for the god's presence so he planned to just ignore him.
"Look the reason I came to see you is… Well… I'm sorry."
He stopped still some distance away from him but close enough that he was sure he could hear him without the need to shout. He took a deep breath and prepared for the worse.
"I know you two were close… Perhaps I should have had this conversation sooner...But I thought you needed to be alone…"
He took another step. While he had left the boy alone for multiple reasons he did think about talking to him sooner. But once he saw Bell lash out at Welf's attempt he didn't think it best. However, this was the closest anyone had gotten to him since then.
He was now besides the boy, he sat down next to him and looked at his back. He wondered what Zeus would do in this moment. Thinking back to his mentors ways. He looked to his hand and brought it close to the boy but stopped.
"Don't!"
Bell had his back turned but it was clear he was aware of Hermes and his intentions. It was a warning to Hermes that he was not in the mood for such meaningless gestures.
The god pondered for a moment knowing it wouldn't be a good idea to make another attempt. So instead he returned his hand to his side. Resorting to a more verbal approach.
Bell was in no mood to even humour him. However, he was still a god and therefore he was obligated to at least do that. But he didn't need to be happy about it. He just ignored him and let him get on with it.
'I really shouldn't be doing this… I hope he doesn't react badly!'
"I'm sorry...I'm the one that pushed you closer to Artemis. I manipulated the situation more than I should have. I was trying to make a lie out of the situation in hopes she'd fall for you. I should have stopped it when I knew it got too far but I didn't. I feel responsible for the outcome I...
Bell finally turned to face God. His face was painted with grief and anger, a sight that shocked Hermes. He'd seen many similar faces on many adventures. He never took any interest in them. He didn't care for them or their troubles. But this time he did. He finally realised what he had long ignored.
'This is it huh… What all my medaling has brought about… No, I don't regret my actions but at least now I understand… We reap what we sow!'
Bell grabbed the gods collar as he brought himself to his level, He stood standing above the god as he stared into his eyes. His words echoed back in his head and he hated them.
"Don't say that… I don't care if you meddled in it… I don't care if you believe you're the cause! But It wasn't a lie! YOU HEAR ME IT! IT WASN'T A LIE!"
The boy's answer left him shocked. He expected Bell to hate him, for what he did. But that wasn't what pissed the boy off. No it was the gods insinuation that it had all been an act. That what they felt for one another was fabricated and forced.
"I failed her, I promised to protect her… I was weak! I made a PROMISE! TO KEEP HER SAFE! AND NOW SHE'S DEAD!"
Asfi warned him that he'd take it personally. That he'd see it this way. That he'd place all the blame on his own shoulders. She was right, now he didn't know what he could say to change that. But he still had to try!
"Bell doesn't think like that. You weren't weak, you did everything you could and more! You saved Artemis from a much worse fate. You saved everyone!"
"BUT SHE ISN'T HERE IS SHE, SHE'S NOT WITH US, SHE'S NOT WITH ME!".
Bell's emotions finally exploded and he couldn't give a damn about the situation. He didn't care that he was speaking with a God, he didn't care as he slammed him into the ground. All he cared was someone he loved and wanted to protect had died! And that he was the one responsible!
"What do you even know lord Hermes? Where you burdened with the choice! Were you forced to hold the spear? Were given no option but to throw it! Did you have to be the one to kill the one you loved and promised to protect?"
The words dug deep into the god's mind but he didn't have a response! There was nothing to give. All he and the rest could do was watch it play out. If he had surrendered to his emotions they'd have all been dead. But he didn't.
'If the situation hadn't been so dire, I would have wanted it to end differently…'
They could have found another way to save her break the hold that creature had on her. But that wasn't the case. Hell even if it had been, they were out of time by then. His mind started to race with questions of what ifs but they all had the same answer. But something still didn't sit right with him. It was what Bell said.
"What was she to you Bell? A friend, lover or just a girl you wanted to protect? Help me understand your pain, let me help you move forward?"
Hermes already knew the answer the answer he was going to get, but he had to at least ask it. He knew even if he got the response it had to be asked.
"It doesn't matter any more".
Bell let go of the god and started to walk away with a large sigh the god struggled to his feet and spoke.
"You know that's not the truth!"
He just wanted the boy to open up but he knew that he wasn't the one to get those answers from him. He fixed his hat and looked back towards the camp. The night had grown old and he was growing tired.
Bell found himself sitting back down. He placed his hands against his chest. He felt his heartbeat hard. He sat and listened to it's rhythm. All the while trying to make sense of his feelings.
"It's getting late and we've got a long ride tomorrow. I suggest you get some sleep and don't want Hestia moaning all the way back".
Hermes shot the boy a look as he shouted from the trees. If there was one thing he could be certain about it was that Bell cared for his goddess. He hoped that now more then ever that would be the case.
Bell didn't reply but it did leave a question in his head and it was leaving him with regret! All this time he was drowning in his own sorrows he didn't once think about his goddess. He blocked her from his thoughts and cast her aside like everyone else as if she was some common pest...
She had known her far longer than him, They had been friends longer then he could ever comprehend. How many lifetimes had they shared together? How many times had she been there for her when she needed her most? She meant more to her then anything Bell could possibly have felt and he didn't even think about it for a second!
"Forgive me, Goddess".
Little did the boy know that was Hermes' plan. To get him to realize that he wasn't the only one mourning her loss. He looked to the moon one last time and lowered his hat over his face as he leaned against the tree.
"Well, I've done all I can Hestia... It's up to you now."