Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The Immortal Troll

The First Job

Harry Potter sat slouched in a high back armchair, opposite the personification of Death. Death, sat in a throne like chair, filling out information on various pieces of paper, parchment and sometimes papyrus, with a hilariously oversized quill. Despite his posture, Harry's face remained perfectly blank while he twiddled his thumbs, lost in thought and waiting for Death to speak up. Death was busy and he never liked to be interrupted.

Harry's thoughts were an ordered swirl of memories and information. He recalled how he ended up here, with Death himself, in the first place. He had just disarmed Voldemort, the darkest Dark Lord in the Wizarding World and all round evil bastard. The Elder Wand landed in Harry's outstretched hand, a thrum of power flowing through him once he caught it. He didn't know it at the time but this thrum of power was of great significance, but he wouldn't find out why until later.

When he caught the wand, he was also in possession of the other two Deathly Hallows, the Resurrection Stone and the Cloak of Invisibility. The moment he caught the wand, he became the Master of Death. He would find this out later. His greatest concern immediately after catching the wand, was defeating Voldemort, as was his destiny.

Voldemort stared in shock as his nemesis caught the wand. Red , glowing eyes like slits and enraged beyond measure he quickly summoned his original yew wand to his hand and readied himself to cast.

"You die now Harry Potter, Avada Kedavra!"

Harry, with but a second to mull and much to the shock of his friends, allies, the Death Eaters and Voldemort, bellowed out, "Avada Kedavra!"

Voldemort and all other witnesses stared in shock and alarm as the beam of deadly, green light shot from Harry's wand, intercepted and….absorbed?...Voldemort's killing curse before slamming into the Dark Lord's chest. Voldemort let out an unnatural scream and he turned to dust, his wand clattering to the ground.

All present just gaped between the remains of the Dark Lord and Harry, nobody making a sound. Before the light wizards and witches, Harry's friends and the aurors could do anything, a strong gust of wind blew in across the ruin that was the courtyard of Hogwarts. A shimmering, golden glow surrounded Harry and he disappeared. That day, June 1st 1998, would be known as the day the Dark Lord was defeated and the day that the saviour of the wizarding world disappeared.

Harry was pulled from his memories by the sound of Death clearing his throat. Harry immediately sat up straighter. Like Death, he was wearing all black. Only his head was exposed as he didn't wear a cloak. He wore no glasses, he no longer needed them. He had filled out considerably, standing at a respectable height of six feet. Other than that, Harry appeared the same as he did before becoming the Master of Death. Death's blue eyes met Harry's green.

"You are ready."

It was a statement, a fact.

"Yes," Harry replied.

"Six thousand years of training, are you sure you have mastered everything you wished?"

Harry nodded an affirmative. Death smiled. He had been waiting for Harry to finish his self imposed streak of training and his unique position allowed him to learn from many worlds, many universes.

The best part was, only the time spent in Death's realm, counted towards the time spent in Harry's own world. Only a month had passed since Harry's disappearance, even though just over six thousand have passed for Harry. He was a changed man.

Death fondly remembered when Harry had first landed in his office. He didn't fight, he didn't demand, he didn't break down. He calmly assimilated the knowledge from the combined Deathly Hallows as they were absorbed into his body and then calmly said to Death, "I accept." The information download explained everything to Harry and answered every possible question he could have had, which suited them both down to the ground. It was shortly after first arriving, that Harry traveled to his first universe to train, after getting acquainted with Death. He had just recently returned from his most recent training binge and declared himself ready with his demeanour and body language.

"So, you want your first assignment?" Death asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Yes," said Harry, "Who am I going after?"

Death smiled a sinister smile and handed Harry a folder that materialized out of thin air. Harry accepted the folder and swept from the room. Death smiled wistfully at Harry's retreating form before getting back to work. Being Death was hard work don't you know.

Harry strode through the maze of corridors that was Death's main realm. Within moments he had arrived at his own chambers, rooms that Death set aside for him. Harry read through the file he had and smirked to himself. The first job was a simple retrieval. Harry had learned many things over the past six thousand years and, first and foremost, was that he was now essentially an immortal being with the powers of a god, specifically death, yet he was subject to none of the rules and universal laws. He had what many dark lords longed for. Unlimited power.

Harry was tasked with finding and killing Nicholas Flamel and his wife, who were becoming a problem for Death, in his home universe. Apparently the philosophers stone from his first year at Hogwarts was a fake and that old Nicholas and Perenelle were very much alive. They gained Death's attention by creating a second stone and stockpiling a vast amount of the elixir of life. Death didn't know what they had planned but he wanted them stopped and brought in for questioning.

This was where Harry came in. He has the power, skills and the authority to interfere and retrieve the Flamels.

Harry teleported himself via his death powers to his private hanger. Before him stood his ship, a little gift to himself. Outwardly, it appeared to be a stock YT-1300 light freighter, from the Star Wars universe, one of the many universes he visited and trained in. A closer inspection would have showed that looks can be deceiving.

First, was the missing sensor dish. Second, were the large dome shaped, twin barreled laser turrets in place of the original quad laser turrets. Third, was the hull. It looked deceptively smooth and was a dull grey colour. Unless you actually entered the ship, those were the only clues to there being something different about this ship.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Inside, one would find a vast mix of technologies from various universes that would leave a pilot from the star wars universe stumped as to how to fly the damn thing. Harry was quite proud of his achievement, it had taken him six months to build the damn thing.

Harry had found the YT model freighter abandoned and adrift near Nar Shaddaa. He fell in love with it's quirks and immediately stored it in a pocket universe of his own creation. When he got around to fixing up and outfitting the ship, he had used his collective knowledge and skills he had gained from various universes, thanks to the eidetic memory he gained from becoming the MoD. His primary source of information was from the Ancient Repository of Knowledge from the Stargate universe. Being god-like meant he could survive having that knowledge downloaded into his brain. The downside was that he spent a month being able to speak nothing but ancient, much to Death's amusement.

His first step was to gut the entire vessel, remove all the technology, until he had nothing but the basic hull, not that there was much of the original technology left. He then used his death powers to transfigure the material of the hull into something much more advanced, a trinium, naquadah, neutronium alloy. He added two new power sources, two sphere like devices that collected and used the abundant base energy of the multi-verse, or as the jedi and sith would call it, the force. The second power source was a socket for a ZPM, a zero point module. Harry wanted the vessel to be very powerful. He went a tad overboard.

The main computer was a hybrid Ancient, Asgard, Federation based design and the computer core was built compact using crystal technology. The AI was second to none, based off an Asgard design.

For FTL travel, Harry added a compact, Ancient based, intergalactic hyperdrive. He also managed to make the ship warp capable, for traveling short distances within a solar system, with a top speed of warp 9.9995. The warp engines were integrated with the new sublight engines.

For sub-light and atmospheric travel, Harry used a hybrid Ancient, Federation design. The ship had superb handling and speed, being able to achieve 0.9c and able to turn rapidly, all thanks to the Ancient inertia dampeners.

For the controls, Harry stripped the cockpit of its analogue systems and installed an ancient neural interface with a twist. It had better physical control elements and a few extra buttons here and there for redundancy. He even installed a full DHD, so he can dial stargates from his ship or use it to plot a course.

For shields, he used a design based off the city shield used on an Ancient city ship. Fully powered, he could take a direct hit from the Death Star and only lose a few percent of shield strength. He also had an Ancient cloaking device installed but this rendered the shields useless.

For weapons he had a lot of choices, from various universes. In the end, he replaced the original laser cannon turrets with his own design. They can be operated either from the cockpit or a separate control station within the ship. The laser cannons were primarily designed for point defense, anti-fighter and anti-personnel duties, and were heavily based off standard laser weapon technology in the Star Wars universe.

Next, he had a multi-warhead launcher design, two at the bow of the ship at either side of the recessed cargo access, that can fire proton, photon, quantum torpedoes, *borg photonic missiles and various Earth based ordinance.

Next, he had two drone weapon launchers, one dorsal and one ventral, within the 'mandibles' of the ship.

Lastly, the ship's hull had a few phaser emitters scattered around its surface, giving full phaser coverage. Harry decided that that was all the weapons he needed. Some would say that it was overkill.

Those were the main areas of technology that he added to the ship. He had also added Asgard transporters, matter replicators so he can restock the ship's weapons on the fly and an emergency medical hologram, just incase. He also added various amenities, from various universes, to make the ship livable. He even converted one of the cargo bays into his own personal armory, where he stored weapons and other various pieces of technology that he had collected over the millennia.

He even used a little of his native magic on the ship, mainly for storage, with the storage areas acting like the bottomless moleskin pouch Hermione used during the hunt for the Horcruxes. Harry could have civilizations worth of junk stored within the ship and he would still have room for more.

Harry stood staring at his pride and joy, his ship, for a few minutes before boarding. He settled at the controls before expertly piloting the ship out of the hanger. Once clear, he transported the whole thing from Death's realm to his home universe, in high orbit of the Earth. He set the ship to run scans of the planet while he went to get ready for his mission.

Harry, dressed in full black body armour (that was vaguely reminiscent of the armour used by the inquisitors during the jedi purges), stood within the treeline of a forest, overlooking the grounds of a chateau, a few miles outside of Paris. He was heavily armed, two westar-34 blaster pistols hung by his thighs in holsters from his hips, a collapsible saberstaff hung from his belt by his right hip, two paired lightsabers were hung from his forearms, a type 2 phaser was holstered on his left hip and a staff weapon was strapped to his back. At his feet a DC 15 laser rifle was set up and ready to use. He also had various explosive devices on his person and at least ten daggers of various make and manufacture.

He was a powerful being in his own right but he did not want to attract the attention of the locals with a powerful display of magic by levelling the chateau before him. Discretion was the better part of valour after all. He peered through his binoculars, observing everything going on within the manor house. He could sense the Flamels within, he just had to wait for the opportune moment to strike.

The trees cast a long shadow in the early morning sun, perfectly concealing Harry from view. A half hour passed by before there was movement on the property. An elderly looking couple, looks can be deceiving eh, emerged from the manor and headed towards the patio verandah. Harry could not believe how easy they were making it for him. Then again, they probably assumed that no one could possibly see through their extensive wards.

Their arrogance amazed Harry, they assumed the wards would conceal them so well that they neglected to put up shielding wards. Once Death has them, Harry would berate them on the error of their ways, he did not like unprofessional work, especially from such powerful magicals such as they.

The Flamels sat on a lounge chair together, completely unaware as to what was about to happen. Harry lined up the shots. The beauty of his modified DC 15 rifle, was that he could fire two shots as if they had been fired at the same time. He lined up his targets, took a breath and fired. The wizards hadn't a hope. Two clean and accurate head shots later and both slumped in their places.

Harry gathered up his rifle and made his merry way onto the chateau grounds.

He made sure to vapourize the Flamels bodies, he couldn't have them reviving on him. A reaper arrived and dragged the two protesting souls away to Death's realm. Harry smiled and made his way into the manor. It was time for him to 'confiscate', yeah that's it, confiscate, not loot, the Flamels stuff. He quickly found and destroyed the philosopher stones and the stored elixir of life. He also destroyed any and all research relating to the stones. He couldn't have another trying to cheat death after all.

Once he had looted….ah, confiscated everything and the manor was bare, he quickly set up a few naquadah enhanced thermal detonators. No point leaving this place lying around.

One very satisfying explosion later, Harry sat smirking before Death. Death just snorted before passing Harry a stack of folders to keep him occupied, Death loved Harry's sense of humour.

A/N: Well that was that, this series will run alongside A God Among Us? But AGAU? will take precedence. This story is technically a crack fic and not meant to be taken seriously. It will also be a multi crossover and there will be a lot of bashing and trolling by Harry. I hope you enjoyed it.