Slayers and Trollhunters
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of the characters in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise. I do not own Tales of Arcadia or any of the characters in the Tales of Arcadia franchise.
Summary: Jim Lake has already enough on his page dealing with Grumnar and Angor Rot, and now he is told to recover the Hammer of the Troll Gods in a town named Sunnydale?
Author's Note: This story is set in an Alternate Universe, where the events of Buffy's fifth season happen at the same time as the Trollhunters' second season in 2017, roughly 16 years later than canon Buffy.
Chapter 1: The Hammer of the Troll Gods
Trollmarket, January 11th, 2017
"Dodge, Jimbo!"
Jim Lake Jr. didn't hesitate and dropped to the floor, then rolled to the side at Toby's yell. A tennis ball barely missed him - and vanished in a portal.
Jim rolled to his feet and launched himself into a roll forward. The same ball missed him again, coming from another portal. That meant…
He rolled over his shoulder, then raised his sword - and caught the ball on the edge of the blade when it appeared in front of him. "Hah!" he exclaimed as the remains fell to the ground.
Claire, standing in the centre of the room, frowned. "You're supposed to dodge, not strike the ball."
That was true, of course. But constantly dodging got old. And he didn't look good dodging, either. "I did dodge," Jim replied, taking a few deep breaths. They had been going at it for a while. "It's time to switch again."
"What?" Toby looked up from where he was sitting on the ground next to his new hammer. "Already?"
"You need training as well, Tobes," Jim told him. And he could use a break.
"Alright." Toby stood, grabbed his hammer, and flames appeared around the hammer's head. "Let me show you how to hit a home run!"
"Toby!" Claire protested. "We're training dodging. We don't have unlimited tennis balls! I only have…" She turned and blinked.
AAARRRGGHH! smiled at her before swallowing the last of the balls she had brought. "Tasty."
"I guess dodging practice is over?" Toby didn't sound unhappy about it.
"Practice is over, I'm afraid. Something important came up."
That was Blinky! Jim turned and saw him standing at the entrance to the training hall, looking serious. "Did Angor Rot strike again?" He gasped. "Did Strickler do something to Mom?" If the changeling had, Jim would…
"Not quite. Please follow me; I shall explain everything as soon as we're in a more suitable location," Blinky said.
"I need to recover a troll hammer?" Standing in Blinky's library, Jim Lake Jr. couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. There were dozens of hammers made for trolls in the Trollhunter's armoury.
Blinky frowned slightly as he drew up to his quite impressive height and crossed two of his four arms over his chest. "The Hammer of the Troll Gods is no mere 'troll hammer', Master Jim. It is a powerful enchanted weapon that dates back to the earliest records of trollkind. Why, some scholars claim that it possesses divine power! Not that has ever been proven, and the sources cited for it are either mythical or questionable - Salacious the Solequent remains the most dependable of those, and he is known to greatly exaggerate in his 'Histories of Trollkind' - but it most certainly isn't a mere enchanted hammer, such as Tobias wields." Blinky nodded at Toby.
"This is a kick-ass magic hammer!" Toby protested.
Jim suppressed a wince. As did Blinky. Jim could tell. Toby had been so proud of getting the hammer - Jim wasn't aware of all the details, but he knew that there had been quite the tension for a while, after Claire had taken Angor Rot's Shadow Staff, until his two friends had worked things out. Mostly worked things out.
"Of course it is - and a very powerful weapon in its own right. Versatile, too," Blinky quickly said. "I was merely comparing its history to the quasi-mythical Hammer of the Troll Gods."
"Ah." Toby nodded, still a little stiffly, but he seemed to be OK.
"I wasn't aware that the trolls had a pantheon," Claire cut in.
Now that Claire mentioned it… Jim couldn't remember hearing anything about troll religions. Or churches or temples. And as the Trollhunter, he surely would've been told about such things, right?
"Well, it's a complicated matter, actually," Blinky said.
Jim silently sighed. When Blinky talked like that, and not with his usual enthusiasm, odds were, whatever he had to say was bad news. Of course, enthusiasm often meant the same.
"Yes?" Claire, as usual, wasn't about to leave her curiosity unsatisfied.
"Whether or not trollkind ever had a pantheon remains a question often hotly debated by scholars," Blinky explained. "Today, and for several centuries, at the least - close to about three millennia, conservatively estimated - trollkind hasn't had a pantheon. As you undoubtedly noticed, trolls aren't particularly religious. Which has been both a boon and a problem when interacting with more religious humans, actually. The lack of a pantheon of our own certainly helped with keeping relations civil when interacting with humans - back in the time when trolls weren't living apart - but the unwillingness to convert to human faith tended to provoke frustration and even aggression." He looked at Jim with a smile.
"Uh, yeah, of course." Jim smiled and nodded several times. He wouldn't have fooled Señor Uhl, but Blinky beamed in return, and Jim felt a surge of guilt for deceiving Blinky. The troll had done so much for him...
"But you may have had a pantheon in the past, then," Claire pressed the point.
"Indeed, Fair Claire!" Blinky boomed. "Or, to be more precise, certain troll communities - or tribes, back in those days - might have revered their own gods. Although that might also have been a mere translation error - trolls do tend to hold powerful people in great esteem, as you might have noticed. Gatto, for example, figures in many expletives, although mostly by those who do not expect to ever meet him, since a slip of the tongue could put your life at risk when uttered in his vicinity."
"Well, anything could put your life at risk near Gatto, I'd say," Jim commented. Toby nodded emphatically in agreement.
"Quite, correct, unfortunately." Blinky coughed into one of his fists. "But, anyway" - he raised his index finger - "while the hammer's divinity is a matter of scholarly disagreement, a Scandinavian community of trolls held the Hammer in very high regard. It was a ceremonial weapon, the centre of many traditions in their village. You can imagine how much they were affected when it was stolen by a blackguard named Olaf a thousand years ago."
"Wait, wait, wait!" Jim stood. "It was stolen a thousand years ago?" He cocked his head. "And I'm supposed to find it now? Didn't any of the Trollhunters before me get this job?"
"An excellent question, Master Jim! With a very good answer, of course: The Hammer of the Troll Gods disappeared with Olaf when the latter ran afoul of a human witch and was banished into a hell."
"A hell?" Toby asked.
"Yes. It's not quite clear in which hell he ended up in - unfortunately, the witch, a Viking maiden named Aud, disappeared shortly after the deed, and the other humans in her village didn't know any specifics about her curse."
"I have to go to hell?" Jim blurted out.
"We have to go to hell?" Toby added.
"Not quite! No, no - despite some of the more colourful comments by the more xenophobic trolls you may have overheard, no one would be as mad as to send the Trollhunter to hell!" Blinky shook his head. "No, you have been called to return the Hammer of the Troll Gods since it appeared a few days ago here in California, actually."
"Oh." Jim wasn't sure if he should be relieved that he didn't have to go to hell or annoyed that he was still stuck with this task. But he was the Trollhunter, sworn to help trolls, so he better got on with this. "And do you know approximately where the hammer appeared? California is quite large, as you might know."
"Yes." Blinky's smile vanished. "It appeared in Sunnydale."
"Sunnydale?" Jim had never heard of that place. "Where's that?"
"It's at the coast," Claire told him. "Near Santa Barbara."
"How do you know that?" Toby asked.
"My parents are looking into colleges, and Sunnydale has a campus of the University of California," Claire said. She frowned a little. "They didn't say so, but they hinted that a small town might be safer than Los Angeles."
"Ah." Jim nodded. That made sense - of course the Nuñez would want their daughter to be safe once she went to college. She would be a good - no, a great - college student, too, he knew it. Then he blinked. But that would mean that she'd leave Arcadia Oaks? And Jim wouldn't be able to follow her.
Blinky cleared his throat. "Well, I fear that in this case, your parents might be mistaken. In fact, they would be clearly mistaken."
Jim looked at him.
"It's not?" Toby asked after swallowing a snack bar.
"It's the location of a nexus of sorts that's aligned with particularly negative magic," Blinky replied.
"A nexus?"
"Well, the exact nomenclature depends on which scholar you quote," Blinky replied. "It had many names amongst different magical traditions. Nexus is a neutral term, albeit it's slightly misleading if not as grandiose as its more common name."
Jim tilted his head and waited.
Toby didn't. "And what is its more common name?"
"Boca del Infierno," Blinky replied.
Jim was learning Spanish. That meant…
"Hellmouth?" Claire blurted out. "Sunnydale has a Hellmouth?"
Oh.
Toby gasped, then asked: "What is a Hellmouth?"
"Again, the definitions vary according to which lore you consider correct, but, essentially, it's a path or gateway to a hell," Blinky said.
Jim felt his stomach sink. "We have to enter hell?" As if the Darklands weren't bad enough.
"Not quite, master Jim - all Hellmouths were sealed long, long ago by the combined efforts of the strongest wizards of their age."
Jim sighed with relief. That was good news, for once. If he had to… he blinked. "There are more of those things?" he blurted out.
"Yes, but, as I pointed out, they were sealed long ago." Blinky smiled.
"So, no trip to hell! Whew!" Toby wiped imaginary sweat from his brow.
"Quite. The worst you'll have to contend with are the demons attracted to the dark energy the Hellmouth is leaking," Blinky said.
"Demons?" Jim hadn't meant to raise his voice that far. "What kind of demons?"
"Oh, mostly vampires, a number of the more common demons as well… the odd dark wizard trafficking with such creatures…" Blinky nodded.
"Vampires are real?" Toby shook his head. "We'll have to fight Dracula?"
Jim was about to tell him that Dracula wasn't real when Blinky shook his head. "No, Tobias, Dracula hasn't left his ancestral lands last I heard. Although since trolls traditionally kill all demons near our communities, my information might not be as up to date as we wish. However, while there is a possibility that Dracula might've travelled again, it's very unlikely."
Dracula was real. Vampires were real. Demons were real. Jim snorted against his will. "So, we only have to deal with vampires. No sweat!"
"Indeed." Blinky smiled at him. "Although the Fair Claire will have to be careful when using magic - very careful. Magic used near a Hellmouth tends to get, well… tainted is a fitting if not completely exact term."
"You mean Claire could turn evil?" Toby gasped again.
Claire glared at him. Jim did as well. Claire, evil? That was impossible. She was the strongest girl he knew!
"Not if the right precautions are taken. Which, mostly, can be summed up as not using magic," Blinky said.
"My armour's magic," Jim pointed out.
"So's my hammer!" Toby added.
"And my staff."
"Ah, those should be safe to use - in fact, a Trollhunter has fought on a Hellmouth in the past," Blinky said. "But magic that goes beyond using enchanted items is a little… tricky. And dangerous. Mainly dangerous, actually - casting spells is significantly more easy on a Hellmouth, which makes the tainting effect of its energies so insidiously dangerous."
"So, no spellcasting, got it," Toby said. "Is there anything else we need to know?"
Blinky cleared his throat again. Jim felt his stomach sink even deeper. "Yes. There is one more thing. One very important thing, to be exact. The Slayer."
'The Slayer'? Jim looked at Claire, then at Toby. They didn't seem to know anything about this 'Slayer, either.
"The Slayer?" Claire asked, cocking her head in that cute manner of hers that made Jim smile and sigh when he wasn't discussing lethal dangers.
"Also known as the Vampire Slayer. A creature in the form of a human woman or girl who has been fighting demons - mainly vampires, hence the name - for millennia. Unkillable - if you manage to kill her, she will simply possess another body of the right gender and age and return. Supernaturally strong, fast and skilled, she has been the scourge of demons wherever she went."
"And she's in Sunnydale," Jim said, in the driest voice he managed.
"Exactly. She's been there for a few years, actually. Which, now that I think of it, seems to indicate that this particular Hellmouth might be a little more troublesome than I presumed."
"But she's hunting demons and vampires, right?" Claire cut in. "That means she's an ally, right?"
Blinky winced. "Well, to be fair, in the past, there have been several misunderstandings with the Slayer. She doesn't seem to be willing to differentiate peaceful trolls and man-eating trolls."
"Or Trollhunters," Jim said.
"Well, I have hope that you being a human Trollhunter will stay her hand. At least temporarily. Although it would be best if you never crossed paths with her and merely recovered the Hammer of the Troll Gods."
"Yeah, fat chance of that," Jim muttered.
"And how can we find the hammer?" Claire asked.
Blinky sighed. "That might be a bit of a challenge. Whoever took it will be hiding such a powerful and famous weapon lest others try to wrest it from them before they can use its power for their own. Fortunately, I managed to acquire something that should help you with this task."
The Magic Box, Sunnydale, January 11th, 2017
"There!" Buffy Summers smiled as she took a step back and looked at the result of her work - her shiny new hammer, now put on display in the Magic Box. "Perfect!"
She ignored Anya looking pointedly at the hole in the other wall. Who could've known that the hammer would be too heavy for the plaster to support it? Besides, next to the damage Olaf the Troll had caused in the shop before Buffy had taken him out, this hardly counted!
"It looks nice," Willow said.
Buffy glanced at her bestie. "Really?" That had sounded a little… restrained.
Willow bit her lower lip for a moment. "Well… the concrete support looks a little odd, and staring all day at the weapon that almost crushed my friends and me into red paste will be a little weird - and would possibly cause some trauma if being nearly crushed wasn't a regular occurrence for any of us…"
"Speak for yourself; I don't get almost killed on a regular schedule!" Anya interrupted her. "I'm a respectable businesswoman now."
Buffy clenched her teeth. Just a little. This was still Giles's shop. Her Watcher's shop. And her training location. With her weapons. Hers, especially with Giles on his way to England to find out what the Council knew about that demon skank.
But she forced herself to smile. Giles had picked Anya to help him run the shop, after all. And Slayers weren't good sales clerks, anyway, as she had found out one unfortunate afternoon when Giles had had to leave to deal with his car trouble, and Anya had been unavailable due to Xander, leaving Buffy in charge.
Still, Anya better didn't get any ideas!
Willow frowned at the other woman - perhaps they hadn't fully settled their differences? - and went on: "Yes, Anya. I was merely pointing out that while I totally understand the urge to display a trophy won in battle - it's a rather atavistic thing to do, but at least a hammer isn't some poor animal's preserved body, though it's actually just its skin, the rest is all fake - it looks a little… out of place. And I'm not saying that because of the concrete blocks supporting it, which do clash a little with the rest of the shop's furniture, or because of the hole in the wall behind us, which we do need to fix before Giles returns from England, and which usually Xander would do, but he can't right now, what with his arm injured by that demon whose hammer this is."
Well, Willow was back to normal - she was babbling a mile a minute.
"Don't remind me! My Xander hasn't been able to give me orgasms as usual. Well, we did find positions that he can do even with his injuries, but he's still unable to use one hand - and he's good with his hands." Anya complained.
Buffy once more clenched her teeth. She wasn't jealous. Xander and Anya were a great couple - proof that you could find happiness even when fighting demons for years - but she really didn't need the reminder that Riley had left her for some stupid army thing in some stupid jungle or desert. And only because he hadn't been able to handle that she was the Slayer and not some bimbo in need of being protected by the big tough soldier.
"Well, it's also a warning for any demon trying to cause trouble here," she said, flashing her teeth. Letting demons into her place felt wrong, no matter how much Giles might need their money, but this way, they would know that this was the Slayer's shop. Sort of.
"Wait. Are you saying that this isn't for sale?" Anya asked.
Buffy blinked. "Of course not! This is my trophy!" She had taken it herself! After getting hit by it. It was hers.
"But think of the money we could make selling it! Besides, without me, you wouldn't have gotten it!" Anya protested.
"What?" Buffy stared at her. "I beat Olaf. You and Willow just banished him back to whatever dimension he was sealed in after I knocked him out!"
"If I hadn't banished him in the first place, he wouldn't have been able to be summoned when Willow messed up her spell," Anya retorted.
"Hey!" Willow protested. "I would've been fine if you hadn't distracted me!"
"See? I should get a cut of the sale!"
"We're not selling my hammer!" Buffy told them, baring her teeth.
Anya shrank back, and even Willow looked a little intimidated.
Satisfied, Buffy nodded and turned to look at her trophy again. The concrete blocks did look a little, well… 'brut', Mom would probably say.
"Word to the wise? Never try to take a Slayer's weapon," she heard Willow whisper to Anya behind her back. "They get possessive."
Buffy scoffed. She didn't get possessive. But what was hers was hers. And she'd won this weapon fair and square.
"So…" Willow said after a moment, "do you know any handyman?"
Right. They still needed to fix the hole. And, maybe, dress up the stand for the hammer a little.
After all, trophies needed to be displayed in their best light or something. Maybe she should ask Mom about this.
Or not. Mom would tell Dawn, and Dawn would needle her with hammer jokes. Break your sister's favourite toy once, and they never let you forget it. And she hadn't even been the Slayer at the time!
Wait. That hadn't happened, anyway - those were fake memories, she reminded herself. Those monks had been good at messing with everyone's head. But even if she hadn't broken Dawn's pony, Dawn was still her sister. Key or not. And she'd slay anyone trying to hurt her. Especially skanky blonde demons with the worst attitude since that French Queen or something.
Trollmarket, January 11th, 2017
"So, we need to travel to Sunnydale and recover the Hammer of the Troll Gods," James Lake Jr. said.
"And find it first," Toby cut in. "Don't forget that." He held up the 'Divine Compass'. The lunchbox-sized metal contraption made of brass clockwork and crystals was not quite as heavy as it looked, fortunately.
"That's a two-hour drive," Claire said. "One way. We'll have to find an excuse for our parents to make the trip on Saturday."
Jim nodded. There was no way they could go during the week - Señor Uhl would crucify them. Well, not literally, of course. And nothing summed up his situation at school better than the fact that he had to add that qualifier to such thoughts now, with Strickler being the principal. Who was magically bound to Jim's mom so he couldn't shove his sword through the evil changeling's chest since that would kill them both.
He clenched his teeth at the thought.
"We could tell the school we're sick and go to Sunnydale while your parents and Nana think we're at school!" Toby suggested.
"Really." Claire narrowed her eyes at Jim's friend. "And somehow intercept the calls they'll make to check with our parents?"
Toby frowned, but his head. "It was just a suggestion."
Claire pressed her lips together - Jim was sure she wanted to call it stupid. But she didn't.
"While time is of the essence - no one can even attempt to divine what the current holders of the Hammer of the Troll Gods might attempt to achieve with its power, especially on a Hellmouth - I do agree that faking illness and trying to deceive both the school and your families wouldn't be a promising course of action."
"Yeah. Strickler would investigate at once. He'd visit me," Jim said, grimacing. The evil changeling visited far too often already. How could Mom like that creep?
"But even over the weekend, we need a good excuse," Toby said. "We can't go to Sunnydale and search for the hammer and be back in time for lunch and dinner."
"We can use the Gyre!" Jim said. It took them in no time across the world - hopping over to Sunnydale would be easy!
Then he saw Blinky wince. "Ah, Master Jim, your suggested course of action would run into a few difficulties, I fear. Mainly that there is no Gyre station in Sunnydale. The closest location the Gyre could make a stop is actually here." He smiled.
"Great." Jim sighed. "So we'll have to take the bus?" If he tried to drive there with his vespa… well, Claire could sit behind him, but there was no room for Toby, and the drive would take longer, too.
"I fear public transportation might be the best choice unless you know a trustworthy person with a car," Blinky said.
"Yeah, right, I think we can drop that idea," Jim said. "But even taking the bus won't give us a lot of time - and we still need an excuse for our parents."
"What about a camping trip? We say we're going camping over the weekend!" Toby smiled.
Ah… camping with Claire. A single tent, a nice lake, a fire to sit around, arms wrapped around… Jim smiled at the thought.
"My parents wouldn't let me go camping without a chaperone," Claire said.
Right. Claire's parents hated him, Jim reminded himself.
"And they didn't let us into the boy scouts," Toby said.
"They did let us into the boy scouts," Jim reminded him. "We left after the snickers incident."
"Which we don't talk about!" Toby quickly said when Claire looked interested.
"I guess we have to use the old double-blind trick," Jim said. "Or triple-blind trick, in this case."
"Oh?" Blinky leaned forward. "I haven't heard about this ploy; I don't think so."
"Oh, right!" Toby smiled.
Claire, though, was frowning and crossing her arms, so Jim hastily explained: "I tell Mom I'm staying with Toby. He tells Nana he's staying with me. We're free to go wherever."
"And I tell them I'm with you?" Claire asked.
Jim blushed a little, then remembered Mr Nuñez's likely reaction. "Uh… we could have a study session or something?"
"They'll still check up on us," Claire said.
That was unfortunately true. Although… "In-person, or by calling?" Jim asked. "Because remember how I faked a call - a video call - to school when I was shrunk?"
"Oh, yes!" Toby smiled. "We fake them out - claim we're somewhere else while we reroute calls. Although where would we be?"
"At your place, Tobes," Jim told him. "Your nana is great, but she's the easiest to fool into thinking we're in your room while we aren't." Toby's Gran hadn't even noticed AAARRRGGHH! when the troll was visiting, after all. He turned to Claire. "Can you use the staff to portal us back and forth if we need to?"
Claire looked unsure for a moment, then glanced at her shadow staff. "I haven't made a portal that far… It should work, in theory, but…"
"You're still learning to master a very powerful magical artefact," Blinky said. "A very dangerous artefact as well, given its origin. I would caution against planning to depend on it for a mere deception. Especially on a Hellmouth. I think we can make do with our current resources - I have just the thing for this." He perked up.
But, Jim couldn't help thinking, given their usual luck, they probably would have to depend on Claire's new staff.
Arcadia Oaks, January 12th, 2017
"That's a camera," James Lake Jr., sitting on Toby's bed next to Claire, said, looking at the rather bulky and old-fashioned camera Blinky was holding up. Very old-fashioned - the thing looked decades old.
"Indeed, Master Jim - it's one of the most advanced human tools in Trollmarket. Why, I had to barter quite a bit to acquire it - a collection of gourmet socks from a noted traveller - and yet I believe that, if not for Vendel vouching for us, Bagdwella still wouldn't have parted with it, despite her well-known weakness for French socks. Using this, we will be able to hide your absence from your parents."
Jim narrowed his eyes a little. "I thought the point was that we needed to make our parents believe that we're still in Arcadia Oaks when travelling to Sunnydale. Not to provide photographic evidence that we left."
"Oh, but the point isn't to use it on the weekend, but beforehand!" Blinky beamed at him.
"You want us to take pictures of Arcadia Oaks?" Claire asked.
"Pictures of anything that catches your fancy!" Blinky confirmed. "With the exception of Trolls and Trollmarket, of course."
Jim still didn't get the plan. "Do you want us to photoshop us into those pictures? Because if you do, that won't work with old cameras."
"Yes, photoshop needs digital pictures," Toby joined in, fidgeting on his chair. "But we could use that to send pictures to our parents."
"That's not the plan, is it?" Claire shook her head.
"Very perceptive, Fair Claire!" Blinky nodded. "No, as you undoubtedly are aware, cameras - of the traditional type used in Trollmarket; the digital variant proved to be a little too flimsy for our uses - require the pictures to be developed in darkness. Quite fitting for trolls, actually, though the flashbulbs took a while to get used to; using them to scare others that they were facing daylight was quite the rage a few decades ago. Oh, you should've seen Vendel's face when… but I digress." He coughed into his fist. "No, I believe that should you spend today and tomorrow - after school, of course, albeit recess would serve as well, though it might alert Strickler - taking pictures with this camera, you would have the perfect alibi to spend the weekend developing them in the darkness of this room." He gestured around it. "Since daylight would ruin the pictures - a disturbing yet familiar parallel to trolls, I have to say - we could safely keep Tobias's grandmother from entering."
That sounded like it might work, Jim thought. Might. "And what about food?" he asked. Toby's nana generally fed them on the hour.
"We would have to take food with us when starting the development, of course."
"That still leaves lunch and dinner," Toby said. "Nana's quite firm on me eating well."
AAARRRGGHH! nodded. "Good food."
"Yes, yes, we're aware. However, I believe we can, ah, convince your grandmother to make an exception this weekend," Blinky said. "Especially if you are available to talk through your phone over a speaker."
"Well, Tobe's nana is of a similar age as the camera," Jim commented. No one laughed.
Blinky even nodded at him with an encouraging smile. "Quite so, Master Jim! And, although this is in no way or shape something to be ashamed of, I assure you, Tobias, her eyesight isn't the best."
Jim had the sudden thought of Blinky trying to pass as Toby - or even Claire.
"If our ruse should fail, we can still attempt to use a life-like - more or less - decoy and have you talk through it while we move it. Life-like."
"I doubt that that would fool Nana," Toby said.
"Oh, but it would as long as we can keep her from taking a closer look at it. As with many special effects, or so I've been told by trusted sources, it's all about the lighting." Blinky beamed again.
Jim had a bad feeling about this. But it was the best plan they had come up with so far. He didn't like lying to Mom, but Strickler had fooled her. And Jim couldn't tell her the truth. Certainly not with Strickler there to influence her.
And taking pictures with an old-fashioned camera sounded like fun - they could drive around, Claire sitting behind on his vespa, and enjoy the sights without having to deal with delivering troll parcels or rooting out gnome infestations… "So, I guess we'll have to make people believe we just discovered our love for old-fashioned photography."
"We might even start a trend," Claire said. "Could you imagine Mary with an old-fashioned camera?"
"She'd break her arm trying to take a selfie," Toby added with a chuckle as he hefted the camera. "This thing is heavy."
"Sturdiness is a good trait if you want trolls to handle it," Blinky reminded him.
"Not fragile," AAARRRGGHH! added.
"But, with this settled, there's another thing we will need to discuss," Blinky went on.
"Yes?" Jim leaned forward.
"Demons."
"Demons?" Jim repeated.
"Demons." Blinky nodded. "As you undoubtedly are aware, demons are defined by their lack of souls."
Jom looked at Claire and Toby. They looked as surprised as he did. "Uh…" He raised his hand. "We actually weren't aware of that."
Blinky turned his head. "You weren't?"
"No." Jim shook his head. "I mean… we didn't know demons were real until you told us about the Hellmouth."
Blinky looked surprised. "Oh. It seems matters have greatly changed since the days of Deya the Deliverer. Her chronicles clearly state that all humans were aware of demons - although they mistakenly claimed that trolls were demons as well, which, as you know, is patently false, seeing as we demonstratively have souls."
"You mean the ghostly things in the forge?" Toby asked.
"Yes, Tobias, although I would counsel you not to call the souls of the Trollhunters of the past 'ghostly things'. They may take offence, and while souls are very limited in the ways of how they may affect those still dwelling on the mortal coils, they aren't quite completely unable to express their displeasure with those they feel insult them or their honour. The often warped tales of ghosts taking vengeance are commonly based upon such events."
"But didn't you just say not to call them…?" Toby sounded confused.
"I said that those tales were warped, didn't i?" Blinky interrupted Toby. "Suffice to say that one should tread lightly among the souls of the dead."
"So… Angor Rot is said to destroy the souls of those he kills, isn't he?" Claire added.
Right. Jim clenched his teeth and tried not to grimace. Angor Rot. The legendary troll assassin feared by every, well troll. And by one Trollhunter.
"So it is said. But we digress." Blinky nodded at the. "Back to the subject at hand: Demons. Demons are creatures originally from other dimensions who came to earth - or were banished to earth in some cases. Or who still live in other dimensions but visit earth through various means. They are soulless and often evil."
"Soulless?" Claire asked.
"Indeed. The absence of a soul is the defining criteria when judging whether or not a creature is a demon." Blinky nodded
"And how do we test for that?" Toby leaned forward, both hands gripping the edge of his chair.
Blinky smiled at him. "By relying on knowledge and expertise, of course!" two of his hands pulled thick tomes from his bag and put them on the table. "These works contain information on dozens, hundreds of demon species so you can identify them on sight!"
Toby stared at the books as if they were evil themselves. Claire, of course, looked interested - even eager. But Jim was concerned about something else. "You said that demons were often evil?" That sounded, well… like mistakes waiting to happen.
"Yes. While the vast majority of demons live to spread pain and misery - and to feast upon humans, incidentally - not all demons share those particular traits."
"So we can't just smash anyone who looks like a demon?" Toby summed up the problem.
"Well…" Blinky tilted his head to the side and back. "...usually, those demons who wish you ill give their intentions away by attacking you. Though they might also flee if they consider themselves outmatched."
"So… we can't tell?" Jim sighed.
"No without surety, though most troll scholars advise striking if in doubt about a demon's intention."
Troll scholars, Jim thought, not for the first time, are a rather bloodthirsty lot. "Well, we only need to recover the troll hammer," he said,
"The Hammer of the Troll Gods, Master Jim."
"Right. Can't forget the divinity." Jim smiled weakly.
"Precisely!" Blinky either missed the cues or ignored them, as he beamed at Jim with all his eyes. "While the existence of such gods is, as I explained before, a matter of debate, it would behove us to be cautious about it."
"Watch out for angry ghosts - souls," Toby said, "and angry troll gods. Got it."
"Very good, Tobias."
"No problem."
"So, what kind of demons are we likely to encounter?" Jim asked. Claire was still looking at the books, and he had no doubt she could study them until the weekend, but he knew neither Toby nor himself would manage.
"Well, according to my information - which, as I found out today, might be a little out of date, I have to caution you, so take this with a grain of ground limestone - the most common demon species found on earth are vampires."
"Well, those will be easy to spot," Toby said. "Sunlight fries them!"
"Quite." Both Blinky and AAARRRGGHH! looked rather uncomfortable at Toby's comment. "Though this might prove to be a little difficult to arrange, should you engage them at night."
"We won't," Jim said. "We'll need to be back home by nightfall. My mom's suspicious enough already."
"In and out before anyone notices or suspects," Toby added.
"My parents would kill me otherwise," Claire said.
"Ah, in any case, vampires may be faster and stronger than humans - although only rarely, in the case of older specimens, coming close to a troll's strength and toughness - they have significant weaknesses. Sunlight burns them. As does fire - set one alight, and they will burn to ashes within seconds. Also, do not breathe in the ashes; as tasty as they might appear, they are harmful to human lungs."
Tasty? Jim didn't want to know.
"A wooden stake to the heart will also destroy one, as will beheading them. Holy water will burn them like acid. And holy symbols will repel them."
Well, that was practical advice. Jim nodded. "So, we could use a holy symbol to see if someone was a vampire?"
"Indeed!"
"Unless they recoil from the preaching weirdo," Toby said. "What would you do if someone stuck a cross into your face?"
So much for that idea. Jim sighed. "So, vampires. Other demons we'll have to read up. Quite a lot to deal with. And we can't forget about the Slayer." Even though Jim would like to.
"Nor about the witches and halfbreeds, of course," Blinky said, smiling.
Jim blinked. "Witches and halfbreeds?"
Sunnydale, January 13th, 2017
Buffy Summers was busy whacking training dummies - sturdy wooden ones - in her training room in the back of the Magic Box when she heard the distinct sound of a, well, Xander insisted that it wasn't a car. But she knew what it meant.
She gave the training dummy another kick, then rushed to the backdoor and pulled it open before the dummy stopped rocking back and forth.
"Giles!"
Giles was back! There he was, standing a few feet from the door. She beamed at him but managed to refrain from hugging him. That wouldn't have gone over well - her Watcher was fragile. Compared to her, at least. But he wasn't getting any younger, either. And he was British and not much of a hugger.
"Where's your luggage?" she asked. Shouldn't he have a suitcase?
He coughed. "I left it in the car. I just stopped here on the way home."
She kept smiling even if she wanted to wince. Duh! She should've thought of that. "I could've picked you up at the airport."
"My car was waiting for me," he replied with that dry smile of his.
"And what about car thieves? Someone could break into your car and steal your stuff. I mean, it's not much of a car, and no self-respecting car-thief would be caught dead trying to bust it, but still! Sunnydalers aren't exactly known for having common sense."
"If my perfectly adequate car is seen as a 'junker' by the larcenous-inclined population of the town, then I think it should be safe, shouldn't it?" Giles smiled, a little toothy, and muttered something about 'petrol-guzzling yank cars' under his breath.
She pouted. "You have an answer for everything, do you?"
He tilted his head in return. "I try. That's part of my duties, after all." He frowned. "Well, it was part of my duties. As my former colleagues reminded me this week."
She scowled. "The stuffy old goats being stuffy? Colour me surprised!"
"Buffy!" He coughed again. "Although I cannot dispute that Council is very old-fashioned and quite set in their ways - probably too set in their ways."
"I know," Buffy told him.
"Indeed, you do."
"But come in!" she told him. Then she winced - this was his shop, after all. Inviting him into his own building… can you say faux-pas? I knew you could!
She coughed and held the door open. And tried not to look at his smile when he walked inside.
"So, what's the what?" she asked as soon as she closed the door. "What does the Council know about that skanky demon?"
The way Giles deflated with a sigh wasn't of the good. Not at all. In fact, it usually meant bad news was coming.
"They didn't know anything about her, did they?" She had known it! Nothing good ever came from the Council. Well, apart from Giles.
He took a deep breath, glancing around for a moment, before looking at her. "The Council has information about this demon. However, they are unwilling to share this with us unless certain conditions are met."
Buffy caught herself growling through clenched teeth. A skanky demon was after Dawn, and the Council had 'conditions'? "What do they want?" she spat out.
Giles looked grim. "They are sending a delegation to, ah, review your work as a Slayer. If they are satisfied, we will receive the information we seek. Or so they say."
Buffy stared at him, then kicked out with her left leg and smashed the target dummy next to her to splinters.