This did not leave me alone, so I had to get it out. It was inspired majorly by the following fanfics: "Pain Inflicted" by TheConjuringMind, "Watershed Moments" by ricca, "Desensitization" by Feigningintrest and "That Threaten and Adore" by sassanachs. Enjoy!
I do not own Divergent or its characters.
A strange emotion filled her heart looking up at the glass roof top of Dauntless. The days got shorter quickly and the nights colder but the first snow had yet to fall. But tonight it seemed to finally be the time for it. The sky could not be seen through the glass anymore. Just the thought of the snow covering everything made her heart skip a beat.
Although she hurried up the stairs swiftly, almost not able to contain her joy, her hand hesitated on the handle to the door to the roof top once she arrived at the top. The moment had to be perfect, she always loved to embrace that one moment of the year. Back in Abnegation she used to cherish this moment with her mother. It was always one moment they shared only between themselves without anyone else.
Her mother would wrap a thick blanket around her body and they would go to the roof top of their house. And it never mattered what time of the day it was, it was always her mother taking her hand leading her up to the roof and Tris following eagerly. They would look up at the sky in silence and enjoy this special moment together. That one moment where the first snow caressed their faces.
She felt her throat tighten at the thought of her mother, sad that she was not able to share this with her right now. She took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly in order to calm herself down. Finally her hand seemed to move on its own and pushed down the handle. The bitter coldness rushed in and the wind whistled through the crack of the door. After quickly closing the door behind herself, she wrapped her arms around her body.
The wind was strong and it seemed it had been full on snowing through the night and a thick blanket of pure white lay at her feet. When she was little she loved to be the first one to leave footprints in the snow. It made her feel special, like she was the only person in the world.
To her surprise though there already were footsteps in the snow. Most of them were already covered by new snow. She looked around briefly but did not see anyone. Rubbing her hands over her arms she regretted not going back to the dorm to put on a coat, she completely forgot to in her excitement.
Tris strode over to the edge of the roof, she wanted to have the perfect view - she had never seen the entire city engulfed in snow from above before. And from the roof top of Dauntless she could at least see more of the world than from their tiny house back in Abnegation. If it was not snowing so much, she could easily see the fence in the distance.
Seeing the snowflakes tumble down in a white mass, her whole body warmed up despite the bitter cold. A smile spread over her face and she stuck out her tongue to catch a few snowflakes. She laughed quietly and remembered how she had done this with her mother every year since she was little. Somehow it saddened her to be alone now but she cherished the memory even more so.
The snow creaked behind her and at first she did not pay attention. But the creaking grew louder, so she turned around. And then she saw who had come up here before her. It was Eric and he did not look happy to see her, although he never quite showed any other emotion other than anger or annoyance most of the time. He walked up to stand beside her a few steps away, looking out over the city he crossed his arms over his chest.
She was not even surprised to see him here. They had met coincidently up here on the roof several times before. They hardly exchanged any words then, just staring out into the night or enjoy the last warm sunrays of the autumn. She never could quite explain why she did not leave immediately when she saw him. Something about his calm composure made her relax. Sometimes she even dared a glance over to him just to catch him looking away, at least she thought so.
Tris regarded him for a moment, wondering whether he was just as cold as she was. When he did not say anything she turned around and stuck out her tongue again. From the corner of her eye she saw him turning towards her. If she had not been so excited about the snow it would unnerve her to have him so close, staring at her. They usually kept their respectful distance.
Eric let out a condescending scoff, "What are you doing up here, Prior?"
Tris rolled her eyes, just when she had thought to be able to relax with him next to her, he showed his usual instructor attitude. Blinking through the falling snow she looked up at the sky and mumbled, "Enjoying the first snow."
When he did not say anything she closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue once more. The silence did not last long, she could literally feel his patronizing gaze on herself when he huffed, "You're childish, Prior."
It must have been the coldness out here or the fact that she had her eyes closed, so she did not have to see him, but Tris felt bold, "Well, and you're stuck up." She was not bold enough to open her eyes to look at him to see his reaction though. Since he did not say anything in reply she figured he would pick on her during training again as a kind of punishment for being rebellious. She could live with that, every time he made her stay after class to work out under his murderous glare, it made her stronger and-
Something wet suddenly hit her face. Blinking she opened her eyes and held her cheek where the snow had hit her. Rubbing at the spot she scowled at Eric who brushed his hands against each other to get rid of the snow. Tris gaped at him while Eric could not quite hide a triumphant smirk anymore.
He scoffed, "I know this does not make me less childish than you, little Stiff. But damn, that felt really good!" He barked out a laugh when her scowl grew into a full on glare, "You should have seen your face!" He pointed a finger at her, "Now that is quite enjoyable."
The question whether she had ever seen him laugh so openly and behave like a normal guy of his age before crossed her mind briefly. But her mind was already set on revenge. So she crouched down quickly to grab any amount of snow to throw at him. He tried to duck past her in the direction of the door but she grabbed the collar of his jacked and shoved most of the snow in between his neck and jacket. Cursing out loud he tried squirming away but Tris' grip on his jacket was surprisingly strong, so he hit his shoulder into her stomach. Sending the air from her lungs Eric was able to break free.
Tris gasped when she was suddenly hauled up over his shoulder and felt his cold hands brush her shirt up enough to uncover her back. She squealed when Eric grabbed some snow and stuffed it under her shirt.
Pounding her fists on his shoulders she tried to free herself but it only caused him to laugh out loud, "Wriggling does not help, Stiff. I told you so in the training room." It made her remember how embarrassed she had felt, being stuck in his vice grip in front of all the initiates to demonstrate how not to free oneself.
For a second she stopped wriggling which made Eric loosen his grip slightly. Tris brought down both her arms around Eric's throat and squeezed. This time it was his turn to struggle to get her arms away from his throat. But one of his arms was still tight around her waist. So in a bold attempt to get him to let go of her entirely, she kicked her knees at his torso hard.
Eric grunted in pain and cursed loudly. But her plan had worked, at least she thought so. Because in the next moment she felt herself being pushed to the ice cold snow covered ground. She let go of him and the moment she hit the ground, Eric shoved snow into her face. Gasping she tried to grab his hands which moved too quickly and the snow in her eyes made it hard to see anything. She felt his weight only on half of her lower body and thinking quickly she brought up her knee again and tried to kick him in the crotch.
The snow shoveling stopped immediately and in a mixture of annoyance and amusement she heard him exclaim, "Hey, I still need this!"
Without thinking she brought up her fists full of snow and shoved them in the direction of his face. Blinking through the melted snow in her eyes, she saw him bending back to avoid her feeble attacks. Sitting down on her thighs now completely she was almost rendered defenseless. Except for her hands which grabbed any amount of snow to shove it at him, relentlessly she tried to fight him off. But he already tried to get a hold of her hands.
Failing to fight his hands on her wrists she found herself pinned down to the ground soon enough with both her hands on either side of her head. Both breathing heavily they stared at each other, their breathes mingled and droplets of melted snow dripped from Eric's nose down onto her face. Eric panted, licking his lips his eyes flickered to her lips for a brief moment before they settled on her eyes again. Tris was suddenly well aware of how close their faces were.
Her weak attempts to struggle free only caused Eric to grin down at her. She whimpered and wiggled her hips to no avail. And the grin on his face grew even wider when she huffed out angrily.
In a last attempt to free herself she bent off the ground as far as possible but only proceeded to lift her chest towards him. He looked down at her chest before smirking down at her. If it was possible his grin had widened even more, "So this is your plan now? Distraction?" He chuckled when she gasped and blushed. Flexing his fingers around her wrists he grinned, "Go on," he encouraged, "I don't mind."
He was grinning now from one ear to the other. Tris felt her cheeks burn, not only from the cold or the exertion but also from the warm feeling that started out in her belly when she saw him grin at her like that. It was so different from the usual smirk he adorned during training. And even though she was mad at him for soaking her and for interrupting her precious memories, she could not help but notice how handsome he looked with his hair slightly disheveled. She knew he was just a little bit vain about his looks because she had caught him straightening his hair from time to time when they were up here on the roof and he did not have gel in his hair to keep it in place.
She averted her eyes and mumbled, "Let go." After a moment of silence and Eric not moving at all, Tris looked back at him expecting a cruel grin. But instead his eyebrows were furrowed and his face showed a confused scowl. His jaws worked silently for a few seconds as if he was disappointed that she already gave up. She could not shake the feeling that he had enjoyed seeing her squirm underneath him.
"Okay." It was everything he said before he slowly let go of her. Grabbing her hands he pulled her up into a standing position. Pulling down her shirt Tris noticed just how wet all of her clothes were and how cold she was. Rubbing her hands over her arms she tried to warm herself up and sent an awkward smile his way. Surprisingly he smiled back and murmured, "You okay there?"
It surprised her to hear him utter concern for her wellbeing and nodded, "Yeah, just freezing."
Eric nodded and mumbled, "Yeah, let's get back inside."
Tris was just about to step past him when Eric opened his jacket and in one swift movement he took it off and put it around her shoulders.
"Thanks," she whispered meekly. She saw that he was wearing only a shirt underneath which was as soaked as hers and was about to object, when a shiver ran through her entire body. He laughed and she was once again mesmerized by his handsome smile. His jacket wasn't exactly warm due to all the snow on and inside it but she tugged it closer around herself.
He chuckled and brought his hands up to rub her arms roughly. She lost her balance for a second and stumbling towards him she almost hit his chest. He grinned at her clumsiness and whispered, "Careful." The husky tone of his voice made Tris blush for the umpteenth time and she did not know how to react. So she stood there in his jacket, in the storming snow, feeling warm all over suddenly from a heat deep down in her belly and grinned up at him.
Laughing he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pushed her forward to go back inside. Looking up at him Tris saw him bite his bottom lip and decided that it made him absolutely irresistible. Breathing in through her nose she took in his scent, a mixture of his shampoo and something distinctly masculine. Sighing she enjoyed the closeness and wondered what he would think of her if he knew that she was attracted to him. She was not even sure whether that was the case but the nights she lay awake she could not stop thinking about him.
As soon as they were inside Tris was glad it was dark because her cheeks felt hot. Even though her clothes were soaking wet, she felt warm with his arm around her shoulder. They walked down the stairs and to her disappointment his arm left her shoulder as soon as they passed by other people.
In a silent agreement she kept walking next to him, following his lead to- she wondered where exactly he was leading them. To her surprise he lead them to the second floor where all Dauntless in a higher positions lived. He stopped in front of a door and without any other word he unlocked the door. He made a gesture for her to go ahead and she obediently stepped inside. She looked around, his place was simple and the wall high windows at the back made his apartment brighter than she expected. From here she could see the snow without enduring the coldness and the wind. A smile tugged at her lips when she saw that his bed was right beside a window. She wondered how the view was waking up in that bed.
After flicking on the kettle in the kitchen, Eric went straight to the bathroom and seconds later he came back again with two towels in his hands. Rubbing one of them over his head to dry his hair he handed her the other towel. She quickly took off his jacked and wrapped herself in the soft and warm fabric, it seemed he had just taken it off the heater. Drying himself he smiled at her and she smiled back shyly. She wanted to say something, anything, but him smiling at her seemed to render her mouth useless. So they just across from each other, rubbing themselves dry as good as possible and grinned stupidly at each other.
Biting his bottom lip Eric strolled into the kitchen and she followed him. While she tried to get herself dry despite her soaking clothes, she watched him take out two cups, pour in the hot water from the kettle and add what looked like chocolate powder.
Eric turned to her checking her out from head to toe and chuckled, "We should get out of those wet clothes." Tris mimicked him by looking at him from head to toe and laughed because she thought he was joking about taking off their clothes, "Yeah, right."
He tried to contain the grin threatening to spread all over his face by biting his lip. He stared at her for a few long seconds before he slowly took a hold of the hem of his shirt and in one swift movement lifted it above his head. After he dropped the wet article of clothing onto the counter he looked at her once more. But Tris did not look at his face anymore, she could not help but travel her eyes down his perfectly toned torso. An unfinished tattoo crawled down his rips, across his stomach and vanished underneath his pants. Her breath picked up and once more she felt as though her body was useless, she was not able to move or say anything, she just stared at him.
Eric took a cautious step towards her which made her look up at him. They stared at each other for a few long moments and Tris felt heat crawl up her neck as he moved in yet closer. Raising his eyebrows he stared at her expectantly, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
Looking down at his hands she watched him slowly take a hold of her shirt just like he had done with himself and he started lifting the wet fabric.
Her hands shot up suddenly and held onto his hands. Letting out a long deep breath she had not noticed she was holding, she blushed furiously. She was not able to look up at him and while her heart raced like crazy, she also was not able to turn away, run away, move away from him at all. It was almost as if she was rooted to the ground.
Opening her eyes which she had not even noticed closing, she found herself leaning forward, her nose almost touching his bare chest. His hands were holding onto hers and worry showed on his face. She must have panicked for a second there because she felt her ears throb. Even though it was awfully quiet in the room, she noticed that her hearing was just returning to normal again. His hands were gripping hers, steadying her. He drew slow circles on the back of her hands and looked at her with worried eyes.
After a painfully long moment she tried to smile at him. Eric sighed and slowly let go off her hands. Turning away from her he took off his pants quickly, Tris watched in fascination as he revealed that the tattoo went down his thigh peeking out under his dark briefs.
Sheepishly watching him stir the hot chocolate Tris shivered from the coldness of her wet clothes seeping into her skin. After a few more moments she let out a shaky breath, gathering all of her courage she slowly took off her shirt and pants. Even though he did not turn back to her, she saw him watching her from the corner of his eyes. When she stood there only in her underwear she quickly grabbed the towel and hugged it tight around her shoulders trying to cover as much of her body as she could.
That was when Eric chose to turn back to her and handed her a cup of hot chocolate. He leaned against the counter with his back and blew into the hot liquid before trying out the temperature by sipping on it. Deciding that it was good to drink he took a swig of the sweet drink. The silence between them stretched but it helped to calm her nerves.
A few minutes of drinking hot chocolate in silence passed until Eric gently bumped his shoulder into hers, "Tell me," he simply instructed as if she should know what she should tell him. She pretended to not understand what he meant but he raised his pierced eyebrow and nodded at her in encouragement.
"I- uh, I just don't feel so comfortable," she looked down suddenly very interested in the flooring of his kitchen. "Being naked and someone else seeing me naked..." she stammered and trailed off when she looked up and saw a grin started spreading across his face. Expecting him to call her a Stiff and ridicule her, she felt herself getting mad. The second he noticed her unease, he tried to suppress the grin. She felt stupid trying to explain to him what she felt. She felt tears sting her eyes and setting down her cup she was just about to pick up her clothes and leave, when Eric set down his cup and caught her wrist in his hand. He kept her from moving away and despite her inner turmoil Tris did not fight him off.
She felt vulnerable, but not only because of standing in front of him in her underwear. Cupping her chin he made her look up at her. The tears which she was able to hide for a few seconds broke free when she looked at him and ran down her cheek. She knew he saw them as his eyes watched them briefly but he did not comment on it.
"Tris," his voice was but a whisper and she felt the familiar warmth in her belly caused just by his deep voice. He rubbed her chin with his thumb gently, "You're beautiful."
As simple as the statement was it made the warmth from her belly spread throughout her whole body. She saw his eyes flicker a few times between her eyes and her lips before he moved in slowly. Tris leaned up to him not really sure about what to do next, she had never been in a situation like this. But somehow she had the feeling he would guide her just fine. Gently his lips brushed hers and her eyes closed on their own accord at the contact. His lips were soft and she could faintly taste the chocolate lingering on them.
Tris let her instinct take over and moved her lips against his. A deep groan of satisfaction reverberated through his chest and Tris sighed letting him lead the kiss. When his tongue darted out to lick at her lips demanding entrance she instinctively opened her mouth welcoming him. Absent-mindedly she noticed the towel fall from her shoulders to the ground. But right in this moment she could not care less. She felt very hot all of a sudden and it scared her but Eric kissing her so feverishly made her forget about her anxiety almost altogether.
His hands travelled to her back, one rested at the small of her back and the other pressed flat between her shoulder blades to draw her closer if that was even possible. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and felt the strange urge to lift her leg up and brush it up against his hip, so she did. He groaned into her mouth and immediately took a hold of her thigh. Hungrily he devoured her mouth and when he ground his hips against her pelvis she gasped as she felt his hardened length press against her.
Kissing down her neck he kept grinding against her and Tris moaned, her head was spinning. And even though every movement of his body would normally scare her, she reveled in his undivided attention. His hand on her thigh moved to her ass and pressed himself eagerly against her.
"Oh god, Eric," she whispered and panting heavily his eyes sought hers. "What are we doing here?" Tris murmured leaning heavily against him.
Eric leaned back and smirked at her innocent question. Tris did not know what exactly she expected him to answer. But him looking at her like she was the most desirable woman, made her heart melt. They looked into each other's eyes and after a moment to compose himself, he smiled genuinely at her, "Enjoying the first snow."