Sword Art Online Self Insert Edition

The Non Player Character Experience

Waking up in the morning has always been a chore for me. Getting up at 4am on days I'm due to go to work would be more bearable if it wasn't for my lamentable addiction to the Internet and my inability to know when to stop and go to bed properly.

Curse you Internet and your whispered lies!

Maybe if I didn't spend so much time on Spacebattles I'd stop staying up so damn late. Still time for another day in the life of a working stiff.

Speaking of stiff, I couldn't figure out why I was so stiff this morning. Maybe it's high past time I splurged on a new bed.

Oh who am I kidding I don't have the money for that...

I stretched and wiped my eyes as I blearily took in my surroundings.

Wait a damn minute, this isn't my room! Why the hell am I sleeping sitting down on a stool at an outdoor stall in the middle of a town!

My alarm levels continued to grow as the strangeness of the situation woke me up right on quick. Glancing around I took in the sights, it was a bustling town, the building design almost European.

The stall I was sitting in was on the outerside of a large plaza, which had what looked like a stone monument in the center topped by a small tower like object that had a clock on it.

This place felt vaugely familiar, tickling the back of my mind as I took in the groups of people coming and going. They were all shapes and sizes, young adult men and women along with others who looked to be more the teenage age. They carried a variety of weapons, mostly swords and daggers, along with color cordinated basic uniforms. Weird, there were a bunch of green crystals floating above their heads when I looked closer.

It looked like something you'd see a bunch of newbies wear in an MMORPG...uh oh...

The bad feeling in the back of my mind began to intensify as a HUD came into focus in my view, sure enough I could see a Life Bar in the upper left hand corner along with a name.

Lyrista.

It was my God Damn Spacebattles handle!

This HUD looked increasingly familiar as I swallowed hard and forced out a laugh.

"Ok then, I've clearly been reading waaaayyyy to many SAO fics and I'm now having a dream about it!"

My nails dug into my palms as I forced down the growing sense of unease in me as the sights, sounds, and smells were as vidid as reality itself.

"An impressively realistic dream! Alright then, defintely need to cut back on those SI fics if my subconcious is even thinking about it in my sleep. I'm sure I'll wake up shortly..." I couldn't help but laugh at this whole situation.

A few minutes later my laughter was getting a bit strained...

"Any second now...I'd REALLY like to wake up now!" my voice rose in a shout as I rammed my head against the hard table of the stall.

A stinging pain filled my head as my vision filled with stars as I promptly fell off my stool and onto the ground clutching my aching skull.

"Aaggh! God damn it that hurt!" I groaned as I rolled on the stone pavement of the ground.

After a few more moments of rolling I was finally able to pick myself up and get to my feet.

"Ok...stupid idea...and this isn't a dream apparently...shit..." I took several deep breaths and tried to calm down.

Ok Lyrista, assess the situation.

Apparently you've fallen into the cliche of Self Insert fics and have apparently fallen into a fictional universe. Not just any fictional universe, but the highly controversial yet popular Sword Art Online univerese.

"Great...just bloody ducky. Blasted Isekai tropes. Why here of all places?" I muttered.

Don't get me wrong. I like Sword Art Online, sure it's got it's faults and it's main character has it's...issues, but it was an enjoyable ride for the most part.

Watching from the outside is one thing, but having to live it was another thing all together! Knowing my luck I've displaced and replaced someone important and might of just broken the damn story before it had even begun! Hell, what am I going to do if I replaced Kirito or something!

"Damn...what continuity am I even in? The main one? Or the Hollow Fragment continuity?" I winced as another thought occured, "For the love of god please don't let this be the Abridged version." I don't think my poor mind could take that.

"Wait a minute...when in the story am I?" I glanced around at the roaming players, all of their gear looked brand new, it couldn't be very long since things had started.

I raised my right hand and swiped at the air trying to open the game menu.

Which promptly failed to activate.

"Crap...how did they do this again?" I swiped repeatedly in various ways continuing to fail to open the menu as my irritation grew. "Work damn it!"

After several more failed swipes I finally heard a ringing chime as the menu screen popped up before my eyes, just as the rushing sound of countless teleportations sounded in the plaza outside as it was filled with the entire playerbase of SAO.

The sky turned blood red as countless warning symbols appeared in the sky as the ominously crimson robed avatar of Akihiko Kayaba appeared in the sky and launched into his speech of doom unto the hapless players of the death game, filling their hearts with horror and despair. I didn't even register the fact that I could somehow understand Japanese perfectly now, missing the message of "Japanese Language Pack Installed" in English at the upper right hand corner of my vision.

All of this was lost on me as I hadn't been moved from my spot at my stall. My attention consumed by the glowing screen in front of me.

Name: Lyrista

Class: NPC

HP: 100

Str: 2

Agi: 1

Skills: None

Abilties: Quest Granting

I hadn't displaced anyone at all...I wasn't important. Hell I wasn't even a player! I didn't have any gear or items, I was just dressed in a basic shirt and pants you'd find on any random peasant in a town...

I was a fricking NPC in the game!

My final thoughts before shut down as I tuned out the pandemonium in the square as Kayaba finished his speech and disappeared was one final thing.

I'm doomed...

Authors note: This idea came into my head today at work...it demanded I write it...I don't know if I plan on continuing it or how far. It'll probably depend on if this gets any interest or not.