** Author's notes: Disclaimer. I do not own the rights to the Twilight universe or the characters. This is Stephenie Meyer's world and we're all just living in it. PS. I will state this now because I've gotten a few complaints... if you are a racist confederate defender... you're not going to like how I handled Jasper's time in The Civil War so don't bother! All your hot headed reviews about how "I'm ignorant and the war was over more than slavery" will most likely just be made fun of in our Facebook group. I don't tolerate that bullshit! **
Prologue.
It was the evening of April 4th, 1948 and I found myself in Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love. It felt like a cruel stab of irony, as I was completely alone and had been for many years. I'd been in town a few days and it was almost time for me to move on to the next city of unsuspecting victims. I was growing tired of the nomadic way of life, but it was still far preferable to the brutal wars of my earlier years. The one's I fought so hard to escape from, the one's that I was still trying to escape from mentally. The sun had been down for about an hour and I had been wandering the streets aimlessly since. In some odd twist of fate, before I knew where my legs were leading me, I walked into The Mayfair Diner.
It was relatively empty and the emotions inside were calm and relaxed. It looked like every other diner I'd came across, there was nothing particularly special or unique about it. Only a few customers were sitting at the counter, which was ideal for me. I took my hat off while I waited to be seated, absorbing the quiet clinks of dishes being washed and the low hum of the appliances coming from the kitchen. The sounds were softly muffling the pleasant conversations at the counter, though I could, of course, still hear every word. Every thudding heart beat.
My throat was on fire with a thirst that could only be quenched by human blood. I knew I probably shouldn't have even been in there, but I had learned a few years prior that the vile smell of greasy human food permeating most diners in the same generic way, masked the scent of their blood just enough that it was tolerable. After waiting for a few minutes, the only waitress that seemed to be working that night registered me standing by the door. I felt a slight bit of embarrassment emanate from her as she scrambled to grab a menu and bundle of silverware from behind the counter before heading my way. She was heavy set with dirty blonde hair and appeared to be in her late thirties. Fatigue was not only written all over her face, but seeping from her so strongly that it almost made me feel tired. She was distracted by another patron requesting a new bottle of ketchup as she walked over to me. She was completely unaware as my hungry eyes locked onto the pulsing, throbbing vein of her neck. It was conveniently exposed by her neatly pinned up-do. When she finally stopped in front of me and her tired human eyes got a better look at me, I felt a sudden jolt of fear escape the woman and she let out a gasp. I stiffened my body and swallowed the venom that had been pooling in my mouth with a hard gulp, forcing myself to look away from her throat and meet her stare. When I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of her eyes, I decided that her reaction to me was justified, I looked awful. My eyes were pitch black and circled with purple bruises, to a human, it'd look like I hadn't slept in days. I quickly sent her a wave of calming energy, and focused on making her feel safe and unthreatened. I forced a smile, careful not to bare my razor sharp teeth and frighten her again. Her heart beat was still slightly accelerated from the initial scare, but I then felt the specific pattern of emotions that let me know she felt silly after being scared by something harmless. I was hardly that. I wondered what her reaction would have been if my eyes were freshly stained crimson. If I had just fed. She looked down and shook her head, dismissing the whole thing as ridiculous I assumed.
"Whew! Sorry about that honey, It's been a long day, follow me." She said, letting out a chuckle. She motioned for me to follow her to an empty booth at the far end of the diner. I nodded and let her lead the way. She tried to hand me a menu once I was seated, but I held up my hand to decline.
"Just a cup of coffee please, black." I said, in a way that was polite enough, but sure to leave no doubt that I would just like to be left alone. Barbara, as her name tag read, came back relatively quick with the mug of disgusting brown liquid. She smiled and placed it in front of me, before heading back to the counter and resuming her duties. I hardly registered the thunder that was getting closer as I stared into the steaming cup, letting myself fall into the abyss of my thoughts. I must've been projecting my low feelings outward, because even as people shuffled in and out of the diner, no one was brought to be seated in the booths and tables near me. I couldn't complain, it was probably for the best. I was a predator and they were my prey.
I wanted more than anything for there to be another way, but I was doomed to this eternal existence as a blood thirsty killer, and had been for almost a century. I had been trying to kill less often but the thirst always dominated. As a vampire with the gift of being an empath, I had to feel everything my victims did in their final moments. Decades of taking life after life was weighing me down, threatening to crack my unbreakable form. In their final seconds, I would absorb all of their pain and fear. I took it on as my own and manipulated it so they would feel nothing but peace and tranquility. Though it was more than others of my kind could offer, it did little for the guilt which stayed with me long after I discarded their lifeless bodies. The memories of those emotions and events cycle in perfect recall in my mind more often than I'd like to acknowledge.
Somehow I snapped out of the thick haze of depression long enough to look up at the clock that hung in the middle of the diner. I panicked for a moment upon realizing that I had been lost in thought for the better part of an hour. I was suddenly grounded back to reality, hoping I had been smart enough to blink once in a while and move my shoulders enough to look human. I quickly skimmed the faces and feelings of those around me and when I could tell I had been successful enough in my camouflage, I relaxed a bit. No curiosity or uneasiness detected. I sighed deeply and almost considered downing the untouched cup of ice cold coffee that sat in front of me, knowing damn well I'd have to choke it back up later if I did. Partially because I wanted to punish myself, but on the other hand, I knew it would also buy me some more time in the diner before I would inevitably have to walk out and let the monster within me take another life to sustain my own.
Just before I was about to pick up the mug and bite the bullet, I sensed her. Another vampire. My gift worked perfectly fine on humans, but with other vampires it was even more fine tuned. Human emotion tends to live on the surface and is typically easy to decipher and manipulate. Vampire emotions however, are rich and complex. They provide me with a unique emotional aura that helps me identify those I've already met should I cross them again. This vampire was not familiar. I felt every muscle in my body tense, though her emotions were not hostile in the slightest. I knew in this proximity she could sense me as well. I clenched my fist and braced myself as I saw the front door of the diner open.
When her eyes met mine, I was instantly hit with a tsunami of overwhelmingly positive emotions. Though I didn't recognize her, her emotions were reading as if she had known me a lifetime, like she recognized me as an old friend. I was stunned. I felt a slight pang of nervousness from her, which she quickly replaced with confidence, hope, relief and trust as she walked toward me at a careful pace. I didn't know what to make of that mix. It was almost as if she knew my gift and was trying to send me a message with her emotions that she came in peace.
She was dressed exquisitely, with short black hair and pixie like features. She looked more like a fairy than a vampire. The most interesting thing about her though was her eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of gold. I'd never seen a vampire's eyes anything other than blood red and satisfied, or black and ravenous. My curiosity spiked. I had no idea what to make of her as she sat down in front of me with absolutely no hesitation. Her emotions and demeanor told me that she meant me absolutely no harm, so I let myself relax back into my seat. My eyes were still glued to hers.
"Well you've kept me waiting long enough Jasper Whitlock" she chimed like a bell. For the first time in my vampire life, I felt like I was dreaming and I rubbed my eyes to make sure that I wasn't. She was still there.
"My apologies ma'am" I said, still in shock. She smiled as if she were satisfied in her ability to leave me bewildered. Then, the waitress noticed that I was no longer alone and made her way over to ask if we needed anything.
"Just another cup of coffee please" the small vampire responded. My mind was racing as Barbara left to retrieve her order.
"I'm Alice" she said, extending her small hand over the table for me to take. I was desperate for answers, it wasn't often that I was caught off guard.
"I'm Jasp- Well, I suppose you already know my name. By the way, how did you know my name?" I asked, with a furrowed brow, my curiosity and anticipation were practically boiling over by this point. I had to work hard not to project my emotions onto her. She looked as if she was about to respond, then quickly held up one finger. I looked past her and saw the waitress turn from the counter and head back to our table with Alice's coffee.
"Thank you!" Alice said, taking the cup. She began to add the cream and sugar that was sitting on the table as the waitress walked away, enhancing her human illusion. When she was sure we weren't being observed and it was safe to speak, she wrinkled her nose in disgust and pushed the coffee off to the side. She studied me for a moment and smiled.
"I have visions, it's my gift, much like your ability to feel and manipulate emotions." she said, as casually as if she were commenting on the weather. Her lips turned up into a proud knowing smile. I let out a slow breath, I hadn't realized that I had been holding in and thought for a moment. Visions. She obviously knew my name and where to find me, but how could I believe that what she was saying was true? What if someone was watching me? I felt my body tense again. Someone from my past could have told her about my gift. If she knew about my gift, she could be trying to mask her emotions or project false ones. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, she interrupted me.
"This is going to be a lot easier if you just trust me, I'm not out to get you Jasper." she said, raising one eyebrow and giving me a teasing grin. Maybe she was telling the truth. I relaxed again and let out a huff of air. We both chuckled and I realized that it was the first time I'd felt like laughing in a long time. I wondered how she had managed to waltz in here and bring it out of me in under five minutes. We sat in an awkward silence for a moment. Trust was not something that I handed out lightly, but she was breaking down my resolve.
"Okay, I'm listening" She nodded and began speaking in a volume low enough for only our vampire ears to hear.
"Ever since I woke up to this life, I've been having these visions. One of the first that I had was of me finding you here, in this very diner. I can't believe it's finally happening!" She let out a small squeal of excitement and continued. "Even then, I knew it was going to be years before the vision came true but it gave me hope. I was thrown into this life alone, but at least I saw a future. I worked on my gift and focused on learning who you were. At first it was confusing, It seemed so certain that we had to meet, that I had to find you for some reason. Not knowing what that reason was, I assumed for a while that it was romantic . . ." She paused for a beat, letting out a fleeting feeling of embarrassment before I felt her determination take back over. "But then the visions kept coming and things started to become more clear as the years went on. I saw myself falling in love, but with someone else. He belongs to a coven up North. Well, really, they're more like a family. They only feed on the blood of animals." she paused, seeing my obvious shock over her last statement. I had never heard of a vampire feeding off of animal blood. I wanted so badly in that moment to begin asking a thousand questions, but I thought better of it and nodded to her to continue. "I never wanted to kill humans, and seeing their way of life gave me so much hope. I saw you struggling with our… diet the same way I was. I saw you and I traveling together to find them. It's the only thing that pulled me through when I felt alone. So, I watched their futures and tried to learn everything I could about every single one of them. I just wanted to feel connected to something, no matter how distant, the same way I did with you ever since I had the first vision of you. The pieces started to fit together, so I started practicing." She stopped for a moment and pointed to her eyes, and I finally understood their unusual color. "It's definitely not as delicious as human blood, but it's a lot more guilt free. I've been living, mostly on the blood of animals for the better part of the last decade." She paused, trying to remain calm, but her guilt was creeping in. "Besides a few slip ups." She whispered, looking down and letting out a long regretful sigh. I knew exactly how she felt, and I had been doing more than 'slipping up'. I sent her my strongest waves of reassurance and understanding. She looked up then, her big golden eyes glossed with venom, unable to cry. She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. The shame of those slip ups was coating her in a thick fog, and I let it swirl with my own, projecting my emotions lightly, careful not to overwhelm her. I wanted her to know and feel that she was not alone. In that moment we had an understanding, a bond. I decided maybe it could be easy to find a friend in Alice.
"This family though," she began again. "They are going to help us be more disciplined than what I have been able to accomplish on my own. They can give us a life that feels stable. We can stay in the same place for several years, blend into society, and stop running. We can feel the love of a family. Of a mother, a father, sisters and brothers. We will find our mates and true happiness in joining this coven. I can't wait to tell you more about every single one of them, they're amazing. I feel like I already know them, but for now, I need you to make a decision." Her words hung in the air and she could tell I was hesitant. " I know this is fast, and I'm asking a lot, but I know that if we go, they will accept us. " She paused and smiled. "However sudden this may all feel to you, I've waited a long time for this. Every time I would look ahead and see if you were ready, my visions would show me that you weren't, so I would wait. But I think you're ready now, am I correct?" Her confidence held strong, hope dancing around the edges. I could sense no doubt coming from her, she believed every word she had said and I was basically a walking talking lie detector.
I still couldn't believe that in less than fifteen minutes, this stranger could come in here and completely flip everything I thought I knew on it's head. I didn't say anything as I let her words seep in. I would be just plain stubborn to say no. I had been, quite literally, sitting here hoping for everything she just walked in and offered me, mere moments before she did. Yet for some reason I didn't feel worthy of it. I didn't feel like I deserved her friendship, let alone a family. The burn in my throat was getting hotter by the second. Could we really survive off of animal blood? In depriving myself of my natural food source, could I ever fully feel satisfied? Would the thirst still find it's way through and take over? Alice was living proof that it could be done and she was sitting in front of me, waiting for my answer.
"If you say no, you're going to kill that waitress." Alice said, her tone becoming serious. "You will catch her alone on the way to her car after her shift and you will drain her dry before she even has a chance to scream." The utter conviction of her statement brought me out of the spiral of questions in my mind. My head shot up and I looked to the other end of the diner where Barbara was setting a burger down in front of a man. He was shamelessly flirting with her, despite his wedding ring. Alice's feelings shifted to worry. "She has a family, Jasper, three kids to be exact. I know you don't want to take her life. I can see that it would put you over your breaking point, and I don't know if you'd be able to return. I chose today because I know how close you're coming to self destructing. I want nothing more than to be your friend and show you another way, but I can only do that if you make the right choice. I can't force you to come with me."
I thought about the last 80 years I'd spent as an immortal, about the thousands of human and vampire lives that had been taken by my hands. The memories overwhelmed my senses and my whole body felt like an exposed nerve. All the pain and agony was as raw as ever and threatening to project outward. I was unraveling quickly and the thirst was becoming excruciating. I looked around at all the faces in the diner. They were eating, smiling, warm and content. Completely unaware of the ticking time bomb in their midst. When my eyes landed on the waitress one last time, a fuzzy human memory of my own mother pushed through, leaving as fast as it came. Suddenly, I had no more questions. I would not take her life tonight. Barbara, would live to see another day.
I looked back to Alice, the urge to get out of that diner was ripping through my body. I gritted my teeth and said the two words that would change my life as I knew it. "I'm ready."