Ranma's Horrible Histories.

Disclaimer: As soon as the lightning strikes, I will have my own Ranma and won't need to borrow one from Rumiko Takahashi. I don't own Sailor Moon either.

Pre-Read by Hiryo, who has his own stories here on FF.N

Chapter One

Some day's it's not worth getting out of bed in the morning . . . .

Sailor Pluto was staring into the Gate of Time. In her view, there is a vision of a shining and pure Future Crystal Tokyo, ruled over by Neo Queen Serenity and her Prince. It would be a glorious peace, a hope of earth's future. From behind the Sailor Senshi, she could hear the rustling of cloth . . . . Pluto whipped around and standing just behind her was a small boy in a white Gi. With his black hair pulled back in a little pigtail, while he had his arms behind his back slowly swinging backwards and forwards on the balls of his feet, the boy looked nearly to be in primary school age. Then and there, she saw an inquisitive look in his dark blue eyes that she would learn to fear.

"What are you doing?" Pluto was stunned for a second, which was long enough for the child to run past her and stand in front of the Gate of Time. Being open, he could see the prophesied Crystal Tokyo future.

"Wow your TV's big. What are you watching? Awww, it's really Shinny!" Pluto snatched the boy's arm to pull him away from the ancient technology.

"How the hel...how did you get here young man?" Quickly the boy took a deep breath and started talking.

"My name's Ranma Saotome, I live at 23 Wrights Road, Tokyo and I'm nearly six. Where are we? Who are you? Where's my Daddy? How come your TV's stuck? It's boring. I'm hungry. Do you have anything to eat? I'm really, really, really, really HUNGRY!"

Ranma took a breath to start again. Pluto slapped a hand over his mouth and stared in amazement that the child was still trying to talk through her hand. Picking Ranma up under one arm, she kept her palm over the boy's mouth. Suddenly she could feel a slimy wet thing on her palm and pulled her hand quickly away from Ranma's mouth.

"You're pretty. Why is your hair green? It looks like snot you have snot hair. I like Ramen. Are we going to eat ramen? I can eat ten bowls of ramen. I could eat it while I sleep. Your house is a big door. You have a dog? I like dog's they lick stuff. Do you want to hear my impression of a dog? I'm really good at it." Ranma started to bark.

She didn't see how the child breathed. Pluto had reached the area set aside for her convenience and placed the barking child on the corner of her bed. "Ranma my name's Setsuna and this is my place. Stop barking . . . . How did you get here?"

Ranma stopped barking with a disappointed look on his face. "My daddy says I'm going to be the best Martial Artist ever and he said that I need to train really, really hard and that I have to do what he says."

Pluto sighed "Yes, but how did you get here?"

Ranma sighed at the stupidity of adults. "I was telling you. Dad found this scroll just lying around in a temple we were visiting and he borrowed it. Pop said it had a really great training schedule on it and I was to read it out aloud. I can read really good," Ranma declared proudly.

"It wasn't very hard and then when I had finished reading it there was this whosshy noise and I was here. Where's here?"

Pluto was amazed. Somehow, a transportation spell from the Old Kingdom had survived. In some way, Ranma's father had got his hands on it and had thought it was a martial arts training implement. How in Hades could anyone think that?

"Now Ranma, I'm going to take you home. I just need you to tell me, where did you come from?" Ranma perked up he could answer this question.

"Mummy told me that when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much . . . ."

Pluto went to place her hand over the boy's mouth again and reconsidered. "Ahh, why don't you sit here quietly, while I get you something to eat?" Sailor Pluto hurried away from Ranma to her library. There is no way a kid should have been able to find his way into the Gate of Time. Contemplating a few seconds she concluded, 'I'll send him back, get the scroll and hunt down any other copies there may be of it and then enjoy a happy hour at a nice club.'

Running her hands up and down her clothes and through her hair, Sailor Pluto calmed herself down and walked back out to the boy. He was gone. This isn't good.

'First things first, check the Time Gate.' Rushing toward the magical force that could level the universe she could hear someone singing. 'This really isn't good.' Finally, she could see the gate. Ranma was standing in front of it, while hopping around.

As she got closer, she could see that somehow the little brat had gotten a hold of a stick. No, it wasn't a stick. It was her Garnet Rod. That little bastard was poking the Gates of Time with her staff. In stunned disbelief she stood just looking at Ranma while he poked at the gates of time until she noticed that the gates were beginning to glow a strange orange color.

"Poke, it with a stick, poke it with a stick. I'm going to poke it . . . with a stick."

"Drop that, drop it now!" Ranma ignored the furious guardian and bounced away from her, while continuing to poke the gates of time with the long pole that he had found. It was somewhat girly with a big heart on top.

He had gone back to look at the pretty lady's television, he thought it might be broken, because all it showed was some boring nature show with this shinny city. Boring, and he couldn't figure out how to change the channels. So, when he saw the big stick, he thought it wouldn't hurt to poke it a couple of times.

Sailor Pluto rushed ineffectively after the bouncing boy, as he kept poking the ancient and very powerful gates of time with another ancient and very powerful object.

"Stop jumping around and give me that," She demanded as the damn kid bounced off her head and poked the gates of time again. To Setsuna's horror they began to flash showing different points in time, at one point it looked like dinosaurs the next she could see horse and carts.

Frustrated she dragged a hand back through her hair and screamed. "Drop it you little brat."

Ranma laughed, this was fun, and once more he poked the Staff into the Gate of Time and with a 'POP,' he was gone along with the Garnet Staff and the Gates were shut with a bang. Sailor Pluto's face dropped. The gate had stopped glowing and flickering. Moreover, for the first time in 3000 years the Sailor of Time swore aloud.

"Bollocks."

Authors Note:

The start of another story. I am unsure where in time, Ranma will turn up, but I imagine he is not going to stay there for long. He is probably going to pop up at various moments in history, with my short impressions of Ranma's impact.

Please tell me what you think.