Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, it belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This story isn't for minors so please if you don't want to read a story with self mutilation and a dark past then don't read this story… if you read it and don't like it DON'T BLAME ME; I WARNED YOU!! BTW bold & italic is dreaming.

"Whom God wishes to destroy, he first makes mad" Anonymous

Everything has a Price

Chapter one – Sometimes the Price is too high.

Kagome sat there, looking around the room. The medication wasn't helping her; she felt as if it was making her go more insane. I never went to the past, I never saved the world… there are such things as demons though. Kagome cringed, then lent over herself. It was fairly easy for her to do so considering she was sitting Indian style. She was feeling worse ever since the doctor came to see her last…

[Flashback]

"Kagome the doctor is ready to see you now" Azumi, the nurse announced.

Kagome hunched over herself, she hated the doctor absolutely hated him! He gave her pencils and a pencil sharpener and he told her to draw what "the past world" looked like, she drew them. Inuyasha and Kikyou together, Sesshoumaru, Rin and the imp, Sango and Miroku with Shippou on his shoulder and the fire neko, Kirara at Sango's feet. When she finished she cried, oh how she missed them!

She showed them to the doctor on his last visit, he scrunched them up and said "These people are not real; they are figments of your imagination. You MUST forget them if you are ever to leave the ward… and forget your fantasy about saving the world… do you want to be here for the rest of your life?" Dr. Mutashi yelled at her.

Kagome broke down, she knew they were real she knew it! No one believed her… when the doctor left she realised he left the pencils and pencil sharpener… she was so sick of everything she just wanted to sleep forever. Kagome picked up the pencil sharpener and a pencil determined to get the razor out. It took her thirty minutes but she succeeded.

She picked up the razor where it was on the floor and hid the sharpener under her pillow. She lowered the razor to her wrists and went down along the vein; she watched the crimson flow… it smelled metallic and salty. She watched as the beautiful crimson colour washed from her arm down her hand and on to the floor.

She got caught up in watching her life fall from her wrist, down her hand to the floor that she didn't realise when she passed out. When she woke up she felt awful, no worse then she felt when she cut herself. She heard them saying they couldn't find what she had used to cut herself, they suspected it was the pencils. If she had enough energy and didn't feel like she was about to throw up she would have smirked at their idiocy.

She pretended to be asleep, as they carried her back to her room. When the placed her on the bed she put her hand under her pillow and clutched the razor, she heard their footsteps as they exited. She was getting out of here one way or another… even if it meant to kill herself.

[End flashback]

Kagome groaned as the doctor entered her room, she wanted never to see his face. He was tanned, hazel eyes and a lovely smile… he used it on the nurses. He looked at her as if she was about to lunge at him. She wouldn't she would wait till he was gone. She wanted to cut herself in front of him and say "LET ME OUT NOW, CAUSE I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE… ONE WAY OR ANOTHER" but she knew if she did that she would never get out of here.

"How are you doing Kagome" Dr. Mutashi asked Kagome nicely.

"L…li…like you care… I'm… the… the… the insane one here with PTSD… apparently" Kagome muttered.

"Kagome you cannot keep thinking these figments are real… no this lady Kaede didn't die, nor did anyone else in this so called battle, this dog demon didn't get an ear chopped off… it's all a figment of your imagination… now I want you to…" Dr. Mutashi's words ended there for Kagome.

Kagome hunched over in a ball and started screaming recklessly… her throat was already raw. She could see it, see the battle field… Kaede's body… Inuyasha's ear… Miroku's staff through Sango's stomach… it was all her fault… everyone was bloodied in battle… the only way they saved Sango was that Sesshoumaru had a Youkai healer and she promised anything to him if his healer would heal Sango and he did it. Everyone lost something or someone in the battle.

Kagome screamed louder when people tried to touch her, she didn't want to hurt anyone ever again… except herself. She remembered the battle field… everyone had wound except for her… so many died just for her and she couldn't handle it. Her heart rate increase, she was distressed from the memories, she was sweating and they had the air conditioner on.

She passed out, her throat was raw, and she was sweating furiously.

"Kagome, Kagome where have you been? We have missed you so much" Sango yelled out while hugging her friend.

"No, No your not real… your just a figment of my imagination" Kagome said, falling to the ground and sobbing hysterically.

She felt a hand rubbing circles on her back; Inuyasha was there, helping. She looked up at all these people… I'm dreaming these people are… are … so kind. Kagome clung to Inuyasha like she never had to anyone else. She wasn't ready to tell them about all the problems she faced since she went back to her time. She felt someone else hug her.

She looked to her comrade Sango, her sister, her best friend. She looked at them all and knew she was home. Suddenly everything changed.

Kagome was standing on a battlefield, everyone around her was dead. There was a demon, eating everyone's bodies. She ran over to Sango's body and touched her hair, her beautiful eyes where wide in shock… her face… a mask of blood. She felt someone jerk her against them; she felt them drive a knife into her side. She screamed out in pain, she looked up to see Naraku; he looked as if he were a kid in a candy store.

Kagome shivered, and not out of pleasure. She knew he was the child, and she was the story… her insides were the candy. She screamed as he shoved his nails into her belly as far as they could go without hurting her to an extreme point. She watched in horror as he raised his hands to his mouth and licked at the blood, like a cat with milk.

Kagome woke up, screaming. What little voice she had was lost from then, she guessed it was from the dream. Kagome looked at the door, it was a swing door; it could be locked but she knew it wasn't, she also knew that no one was going to come see what was wrong… it was normal for people with PTSD. She was covered in so much sweat, and she needed something for her throat and a shower.

She sighed, at least the left a spare change of clothes for her, incase something happened. She changed quickly, she was sick of the nightmares. She figured the razor in her hand, she felt the sharp incision in her skin, and it felt almost like a relief. It distracted her from everything, the sharp imminent pain helped. Kagome raised her new gown, she pressed the point of the razor into her skin, and she knew if she could keep drawing blood she will die soon, there are only a certain amount of liters in the human body. She was 19 and in a place for people with serious problems.

She pressed the knife tip harder and drew blood, she sighed. She remembered that her teacher at her university thought she was nuts, with how much she knew of the Sengoku period. He called her insane for saying that it was all wrong, that's when it all started to go wrong. She drove the blade in harder, she needed to forget everything.

White spots started playing in her vision, she fell backwards. She closed her eyes for a few minutes, when she woke up she looked out a window… that was new. She realised they changed her rooms. She knew the razor was no longer in her hand. She tried to get up and realised she was strapped to the bed. She tried to scream and realised she could… she knew she would scream till she lost her voice.

She heard the door open, it was a new doctor he looked so much kinder.

"Now Kagome, I know you have PTSD, I'm here to help you… and to give you some bad news but I don't know if I should…" The kind doctor trailed off while looking away.

"P…p…Pl…ea…se… tell …m…mm…me" Kagome stuttered out.

"Well firstly, I shall tell you my name. My name is Doctor Morioka, so you know who to scream at" Dr. Morioka said with a smile. "Now gomen Kagome but… your mother died this morning, she was on her way here, a car with a drunk driver hit her and a semi-trailer collided with her. Everyone in the accident died… Gomen Kagome" Doctor Morioka said. The doctor looked genuinely sad.

Kagome let out a chocked sob, how could mama die? How could she leave me here like this? MAMA! Kagome wanted nothing more than to cover her face with her hands. She thought the doctor understood so suddenly he undid the bonds at her hands automatically went to her face. "MAMA, how could you leave me here?" Kagome yelled out to no one in particular.

"Gomen Kagome-Chan I will be back to check on you later" Dr. Morioka said. He was worried for her, and not just for her sanity.

Kagome let her sobs rack her body until she could cry no more. She woke up to a dark window and a package next to her bed. Kagome raised her self up, she was glad whoever put the package there knew she couldn't move her legs, only her arms. She managed to grab the present she read the note on it.

Dear Kagome,

We have all missed you terribly at home; Souta asks when you will be coming back. I know you can get through this. We love you all very much.

Mum xxx

P.s. I know you can get through this and come back home and have dinner with us!

Kagome let out a sob. She missed everyone she held dear to her. She carefully unwrapped the small gift, and saw it was her mum's treasured Kimono. She cried while she held it close, she soon fell asleep.

"Kagome, Kagome you have a visitor" said a far off voice.

Kagome made a sound and clutched the Kimono closer. She heard light footsteps then a familiar voice.

"I come here to see a once powerful miko, now all I see is a broken woman" Sesshoumaru said in a harsh voice. He hated her seeing her like this, it was awful, a strong women reduced to sadness.

Kagome shot up, and glared at him. She was actually happy to see him; she knew she wasn't insane this way. He was in a suit, it looked very expensive and his hair was tied back in a ponytail, she knew she could see through the kind of glamour he used. She wanted to smile and yell I'm not insane.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at her.

She knew he was waiting for her to say something. Kagome said the first thing that came to mind. "I knew you guys where real, I knew it. I'm here because they don't think demo…" Kagome was stopped by a hand over her mouth.

Sesshoumaru was caught out unexpectedly by Kagome's hands wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer to her. He knew if he were to pull away she would never trust him… and he needed her to trust him. He needed her for a mission the Kami's told her about. Kagome gasped lightly as Sesshoumaru wove his hand around her waist and gave her a light tug, she ended up curled in his lap. She didn't know how he broke free of the restraints but she didn't care. She cried on Sesshoumaru's clothes.

Sesshomaru didn't care that the miko was wrecking an eight-hundred dollar suit. If it got her to trust him and go back to his place so he could fulfill the mission he would do it. After all he was a man of honor. Sesshomaru stroked soothing circles on her back while she sobbed into his chest.

A/N

Now if you want more just tell me in a review okay otherwise it ends here… It's all up to you people. And my god don't you dare report me I warned you I'M NOT HOLDING THE NEXT CHAPTER FOR REVIEW, I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THERE IS GOING TO BE A NEXT CHAPTER, AND I TOLD YOU IT WAS PRETTY DARK SO DON'T GET ANGRY AT ME.

Fluffy xxx