Hello everyone, I am AK-103 with my first story in Fanfiction. Please be nice to me, but not too nice because I also need to improve. I'm not a native English speaker so forgive me if I make grammar mistakes or any mistakes at all; I'm still studying English after all. I'm slow at updating because I really have little motivation to start with, so if you want to see more of this please give me lots of reviews.

I am accepting suggestions, but don't expect me to reply to your suggestions just yet because I'm still figuring this whole thing out. For now, please just follow the story as it is. I swear I'm doing my best planning this whole thing out.

Without further ado, let's just start the story.

Morning.

The start of a brand new day and an end to the previous one. If he starts looking into it deeply, it sure brings a dark meaning out to the surface. Then again, everything could have a dark meaning. Like… why men prefer to not urinate directly next to the other guy in the next urinal or why girls can fart like ninjas… see, life is just full of things to think of… but once you start thinking about those parts of life, you know that you're lonely.

"…"

"Good morning Kit, can't be late today, it's your graduation after all."

"…"

"Go and brush your teeth or something. Wash your face while you do so, you probably look like shit."

"…"

He does not move from his spot on the bed. He's always jet legged in the mornings and now is no different. His eyes are still sleepy and personally, he'd love falling back to sleep but what the fox said is true, today is his graduation so… shit. Groggily, he gets off his bed and then fixing the sheets as well as pillowing. He lags over to his bathroom in his small apartment room like a zombie, moving ever so slowly as if he's given up on living.

The bathroom's light is always on, thanks to his bad habit of always forgetting to turn off the lights in his apartment. This month's rent is going to be off the roof, again. Opening the glass cupboard just above his sink, the boy reaches for his toothbrush and paste. He applies the orange flavored toothpaste to its significant other and then proceeds to brush his teeth. He does so sleepily, given, he's just woken up after all. He's still wearing his nightcap, even.

After the brushing is done, he cleans the toothbrush and returns it where it belongs. He scoops up a little bit of tap water from the sink and then splashes himself right on the face, bringing down his sleepiness. He blinks several times, rubs his eyes and then he wipes his hands dry with a towel. The boy then decides to do his morning routine of… toilet business. And from here, the rest is omitted.

Ten minutes later, he's back outside and this time, he makes sure to turn off the bathroom light and close the door. He returns to his room, the sight of his bed tempting him to go back to sleep. But he steels himself; he can't afford to be weak in the morning. He opens his wardrobe and puts on some real clothes, unlike the pajamas he's wearing. He puts on the fishnet mesh shit before slipping into his orange jacket and pants.

"…since I'm graduating today, should I wear something different?" staring in front of a mirror he has in his room, the blonde inspects his form reflected by the mirror intently. "I practically wear this thing every time I go out…"

"Don't. Just wear it, there's this thing called character originality so it's bothersome for you to wear different clothes than what you're usually wearing."

"Eh? Why?"

"Because you're the main character, duh."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Just go to school."

"…right."

After several more minutes of making sure that he left nothing on like his stove, lights, TV and even air conditioner; the boy finally heads out of his apartment's front door. He locks the door with his keys, pocketing it lazily into his pants afterwards. He really has no motivation to go to the academy today, even if he's graduating. In fact, it's because of the fact that he's graduating that he's got no motivation!

"Then why are you a ninja…?"

"It's because it's the only job that I get to do interesting things like learning ninjutsu and travelling outside without having to pay for things like travelling taxes." Naruto explains while walking down the stairs of his apartment building. He lives on the fifth floor, so it's going to take a while with the pace he's walking.

"Hm… you're really unmotivated aren't you?"

The teen rolls his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know…"

He continues his walk, and after a while, he's finally outside. Despite living in the quieter district in Konoha, there are still a lot of people around going about their daily lives. The area he's living in is a part of the market district, so it's normal for things to get a little bit busy. Even so, this particular area is fairly quiet when compared to the other ones. Naruto does not waste any time looking around, if there's a point on doing it in the first place. He immediately sets off to the academy in a steady place, while having an inner conversation with his tenant.

"Say, kid, are you going to really take your ninja career seriously?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"I've been sealed inside of you before you even realized I exist, and it's easy to figure out that you're the kind of kid who's too lazy for his own good."

Even if the fox's practically calling him a lazy ass, Naruto doesn't feel offended. "Well, in my defense, I'm not as lazy as you make me sound like. There's Shikamaru for that." the blonde refers to his Nara friend, who's (in?)famous for his laziness when it comes to life in general. "I'm just, as you've said before, unmotivated. Unless I find something that motivates me seriously, I won't do anything serious just yet."

"But think about it kid. As a genin, you'll only get the lowest form of pay that a ninja could get. At least make it into a chunin."

There are some truths in the fox's words and that gets him thinking. "Hm… even so, I could just do D-ranked mission and get money at a steady pace, right?"

"Then you might as well find another career then, like a gardener or something. Because from my knowledge, D-ranked missions are practically chores that normal people are too lazy to do on their own."

"…eh really?" the blonde frowns. "I thought that it'll involve organizing the ninja library's archive or even inspecting the armory's inventory or something."

"Yeah… unlikely."

"Damn." Bummed out, Naruto is slightly depressed. "So there's no point in becoming a ninja if I stay a genin forever, huh?"

"That's basically it."

The blonde goes silent, even the creature inside him is incapable of figuring out what he's thinking. If the creature has to guess, it's probably something to do with backup career decision. Sighing inwardly, the fox speaks out before his host could get lost deeper in his thoughts.

"Stop thinking. Since you're my Jinchuriki, becoming a ninja is a compulsory thing."

"Eh, why?!" Naruto sounds surprised.

"Look, kid, you have the most powerful tailed beast sealed inside of you that could easily destroy mountains, dry the entire ocean and obliterate villages by a swing of his tail and you don't want to become a ninja?" if the fox is irritated, then it's not showing it. "It's like having the strongest weapon ever and not using it. Pointless."

"When you put it like that…"

"Listen here kid, the moment they put me inside of your stomach, you're basically a ninja already."

"…gee…" the teen scratches his neck, not knowing what to say. "Still… can't I have some slacks cut for me? I house the world's baddest, strongest and deadliest demon; am I going to have to go through special trainings?"

"Maybe, who knows what your Hokage has planned for you."

"I've decided, Danzo."

Inside his office, one Sarutobi Hiruzen suddenly exclaims. "I'm going to train Uzumaki Naruto to be a proper ninja himself."

The former crippled teammate of the Hokage himself refrains from the overwhelming urge to hit his own face with his bandaged hand. "Hiruzen, while I approve the thought of training our Jinchuriki for the best of the village, it would only be a sign of favoritism on our part if we only train the boy alone."

Hiruzen gives his teammate a weird look, a mix between puzzlement and confusion. "Why is that a problem? I'm the Hokage after all and my word is law."

Danzo does not know what to say against that. It's true, but not quite literally. With several people agreeing to Hiruzen's request of forming a new law, then whatever his request – no matter how ridiculous or downright silly it is – will become law. And they're not a democracy in the first place.

"Still… it won't be good for your image if you maintain such behavior." Danzo remarks with a final tone.

"I see…" suddenly, the aged Hokage's face light up, as if a brilliant idea just struck him right on the head.

"…say what now?"

Uzumaki Naruto is not having a good day.

"You heard me right, Naruto." Chunin Umino Iruka looks at his student with an uneasy expression. He's reluctant about it himself, so the boy has to have it worse. "Orders came up and it says that you won't be getting a team, instead you'll work alone as an independent genin."

The rest of the class who is not a part of the conversation can only look and listen quietly, this is serious topic after all.

"Wait, what do you mean by that?" the blonde questions. "Working alone? How does that work?"

"Hm…" the teacher goes into thinking mode. "We actually have the same problem a few years back… there was an odd number of students who were about to graduate and we couldn't put everyone into squads, so we assigned those who had no team into the reserves to act as independent shinobi with an instructor looking over them. Not exactly what a jonin instructor would do, but pretty much the same." Iruka's frown deepens when the problem seems to crystallize. "But we have enough students to put into teams this year… I don't know what's going on."

Not knowing what to do, aside from accepting what's decided for him, Naruto slumps down his chair. 'Great, forget being a chunin when I'm not going to get a team in the first place.' The blonde gripes internally.

According to his knowledge, and Iruka's testimony earlier, graduates are grouped in a four-men cell along with a supervisor who will also act as an instructor. Then why isn't he on one? Iruka said that they have an even number of graduates, so what's the big deal? Who's issuing the orders? Deciding to make his question answered, Naruto raises his hand.

"Yes, Naruto?" Iruka responds to his blonde haired student's gesture.

"Iruka-sensei, may I know who… erm… issued the order?"

"Oh, it's the Hokage himself."

"…"

"Well kid, sometimes, there are laws in the world that make things that could go wrong, go wrong. And things, for you, just went wrong."

As he looks at the rest of his classmates leaving with their respective instructors, and wondering why he's in the kind of situation he's in, Naruto sits dejectedly on his desk waiting for someone or somebody to pick him up. Iruka sensei retreated to the faculty office earlier, telling him that he'll do further checking regarding his situation. He has to give props to the teacher, he's really serious and dedicated to his work.

"You should take a page out of his book. Hell, take the whole book."

…anyway, this whole deal doesn't make sense. Why him?

"Isn't it obvious, kid? You're the Jinchuriki of the great Kyuubi no Kitsune, think of it as a privilege or something."

Maybe they want to keep a close eye on him since he's the Jinchuriki!?

"Yeah… just like what I'm trying to tell you."

No… that can't be the only reason. There must be something else. Something else entirely, something secretive, something that they never would have wanted him to know…

"Hm, and just what it could be?"

Gasp!

"Did you really just think 'gasp'?"

The seal that's keeping the fox, is it breaking?!

"I can assure you, as the fox that's trapped inside the seal, that it's still functioning a-okay."

No… maybe not only that, maybe they also want him to try and harness the fox's power so that he could be Konoha's ultimate trump card!

"…I really don't know what to think of that, but that actually makes sense."

Regardless of the reasons that they may actually give him, he will have to be cautious. Becoming a ninja with no team to back him up will definitely be dangerous for him.

"Now you're starting to make sense."

But there's no work division, so that means he'll have to do all of the work himself! Dammit!

"…aaaand we're back to square one. Look, kid, just go to the cafeteria, they have gyudon served today if I remember correctly."

"Ah, no thanks, I'm Hindu." Naruto politely declines.

"Oh my God, Naruto, but you ate beef a couple of times before!"

"And I thank the cow Gods for their delicious sacrifice." Naruto admits sincerely.

"Seriously, I don't know why I'm always stuck with the weird ones… all of my previous containers were weirdoes in their own rights."

"Hey!" Naruto suddenly shouts. "One of them happened to be my mom, you idiot!"

"Oh geez, why did I tell him about the truth in the first place?"

Naruto scowls, something uncharacteristic for him to do since he's usually whining or groaning. "It's because you lost a bet, a stupid bet that involved certain political election somewhere in another country."

"…does that mean you're stupid too, since you also took the bet?"

"But there's a difference. I won, you none."

"…fuck you too kid."

"Yeah, no thanks, I don't swing that way."

After their small bickering, the quiet and relaxing atmosphere inside the classroom is interrupted by the sound of door sliding open. What follows next is surprising because, well, it's just that, surprising. A group of shady men dressed in cloaks and masks barges into the room, not giving time for Naruto to react. A moment later, with minimal struggling, they managed to bag the boy and disappear all at once. Several minutes passed and Iruka finally returned into the room, eager to talk to his remaining student, but the boy is no longer that.

"Oh, looks like they got to him first." The teacher concludes.

'Oh God help me Kyuubi they're kidnapping me!'

"Oh relax, you've survived worse."

'Those were not kidnappings!'

"Yeah, so what are they then?"

'Those were… scams, yeah, scams!'

"HAH!"

Uzumaki Naruto's mind is in shambles because currently he's literally stuffed inside a bag, carried by masked individuals with his chakra system bound by some sort of sealing tag. Not to mention, they used a paralyzing seal that prevents him from struggling or moving. Currently he can feel that his captors are bringing him somewhere through the roofs, he can feel the moving and shaking but nothing too sure. It's still evening, so any patrolling ninjas would be suspicious of seeing a group of masked men carrying a big sack. They should be. Now, the question is, why aren't they doing anything?!

"I told you, just relax. This will probably turn out fine."

'You mean bad? Right?! You mean that it'll turn bad, right?!' the boy is panicking. Like this, he cannot do anything. He cannot reach for his pouch to grab a kunai due to the stupid paralyzing seal they tagged him with. It takes him everything he has to keep a straight mind. Instead of panicking, he'll think of a way out of this. Aside from the sealing tags, there's the problem of being stuck in a bag and a potential stand off against four or five mysterious assailants. He's confident in holding his own, but there's no telling how strong these guys are.

"Let me give you a hand with that kid." The demon speaks, grinning. "Hah, you're out of luck, all of them are at least ANBU level."

"…FUCK ME!" Naruto curses loudly. Even if he's bagged inside the sack, the person carrying him can still hear the muffled screaming.

Okay, so breaking free – if he could do it in the first place – is not an option because he'll have to deal with ANBU level mysterious strangers. So there's only one choice; let himself be kidnapped and then deal with the situation afterwards. But hell, he's not going to get kidnapped without a fight!

"Kurama, I need help over here!" the boy hisses desperately.

"Now you're talking. Alright, what do you want me to do?"

"The seals! Overload them using your chakra, they'll be useless in an instant." The blonde instructs the demon residing inside the seal.

Kurama lets out a set of interested chuckling, but complying nonetheless. "There, done." With a slight flare of his vile and ominous chakra, the paper seals used to restrain the boy are literally shredded into nonexistence. "What next, kid?"

"Wait a minute and let me reach for my pouch…!" the teen struggles to reach for his pouch. It's cramped as hell in here, he's even more surprised at how well he's breathing. Looks like those swimming lessons did him good after all. "I'm going to grab a replacement seal and do something I've never done before in my life."

"Oh, and what is it?"

"I'll replace myself with one of the masked guys that I tagged earlier when they bagged me in here!" the blonde says quickly. "Alright, got it!" with difficulty, he sticks the paper tag on the cloth material of the bag.

"Wait, if you do that, you'll have to fight them off; you know?" Kurama reminds the boy.

"I'll at least have a four second head start while they figure out what's going on, so help me with this seal already!" the blonde gripes.

"Alright, sheesh… just a little bit of chakra, right?"

"Just enough to make this whole thing work!" Naruto, despite how cramped and small the bag is, managed to form a ram seal with his fingers. "NOW!"

Kurama directs his chakra to the paper tag through Naruto. The seal used by the Yondaime to seal him prevents him from harming the boy, but it doesn't prevent the boy from trying to use his chakra. Well, technically, the boy can't use it on his own; he can't just forcibly take away his chakra from him, the boy needs his permission to do that. So, yes, he is helping the boy.

The seal, after it recognizes Kurama's chakra, began flaring. The function of this seal is simple really, so simple. Basically, it's a more practical use of the replacement technique that they taught in the academy. Basically, it involves tagging a certain object – or in this case someone – and teleport the target into the location where seal B is placed. Simple. However, it's not so simple if he's using it in this situation. See, he can only teleport whoever the poor bastard in here, but not teleport himself outside. He can do the teleportation technique and get out in the first place, but that'll leave him easy target with no distraction. So, he's going along with this.

Immediately, one of the masked individuals disappears, shocking the rest of his friends. Naruto, simultaneously, flares his chakra to perform the teleportation technique. Of course, being the more experienced Shinobi they are, the masked people notices Naruto suddenly appearing in thin air. The thought that goes along their head is 'that kid just pulled a kawamiri and replaced himself with one of us!'… or something like that. When actually, he didn't. Naruto makes the illusion of switching places with a random dude while in reality, it's far more complex than that.

Wait, if it's like that, then why not just use the replacement technique in the first place?

That, my friend, is why you should keep a clear head in situations like this.

"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!" Naruto, literally, runs like hell. His 'diversion' won't work for long, hell they're already chasing him at this point! He does not look back, he's too busy running to do that. It's nice that he's familiar with this area, so it'll make this game of cat and mouse last longer. Fighting is not option, they'll fuck him up if he fights. In the middle of running, Naruto is facing the edge of the building, but instincts kicked in and he does a huge leap that ends him up on another building.

"They're still chasing you kid."

'TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW!' The teen mentally screams.

Kurama shrugs, he's getting a kick of seeing this hikkikomori blonde being chased around the block by a group of ANBU leveled Shinobi. He knows the kid and he could probably escape this with effort, but he's been lazy for the past few weeks, so it's his own fault if he gets caught. Thinking of getting caught… why's no one stopping this ridiculous charade? Do they get a kick of watching the kid being chased around town by shady masked people? If so, why did he attack this place in the first place?

Naruto bolts through the roof, he's not going to lose them if he's up here, he'll find better chances down there. Sliding down the edge of a short building, he dives into the crowd – thank god that there's a festival today. He makes sure to suppress his chakra, because he doesn't know whether or not they have a sensor with them. It's easier to lose them if he's minimizing his presence and the crowd should double the difficulty for them to find him. He steadies his pace, careful of not going too fast nor too slow. He needs to keep up with the crowd and make sure that his six is clear. He spots several masked men standing on the edges of building, looking out for him. But since he suppresses his chakra, they can't spot him immediately.

A normal person would probably walk into a quiet place at a moment like this, but doing that will only make the job easier for them. Masking his signature does not necessarily mean he's invisible. It only means that he's minimizing his chakra presence so that it would not stand out from the rest, since he has a lot of chakra, doing this step is helping him a whole lot in this situation. He's not in the clear just yet, but he can't just wander with the crowd hoping that he'll lose them either. He needs to get somewhere safe, somewhere they wouldn't attack.

And the nearest place from here is…

"Gramps' office!"

"…he's going to hate you, you know?"

"It's tough love."

"He's still going to hate you." Danzo deadpans.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, also known as The Professor or the Third Hokage of Konohagakure takes a leisure smoke from his pipe. The sensation of freshly ground tobacco enters and fills his system, it also helps relaxes his mind.

"You used five of my best men just so that they could pretend to kidnap the boy and bring him here?" Danzo asks, his tone remains a level one. "Don't you ever hear of something called a messenger?"

Hiruzen looks at his former teammate with an accusing glare. "Of course I have, I'm old, not dumb."

"Seeing what you just pulled makes me think otherwise... the boy is going to be angry when they arrive here with him." Danzo states calmly. Oh, he's anything but calm. He's just maintaining that calm and calculating grey colored crippled veteran who will secretly be the underdog of the series while being the voice of reason. Wait, what? In any case, he's worried that his former teammate will do something stupid, again.

"Let him be angry, then." Hiruzen puffs a cloud of smoke out from his mouth. "And let me be the one to handle him. If he's going to step into the life he's going to be living, he must deal with a few session of rough handling." The Hokage, seated on his desk, casually dismisses Danzo's worry.

"I still can't believe that you'll actually allow me to have anything to do with the boy." Danzo says.

Hiruzen's face scrunches in confusion. "Your point?"

Danzo opens his mouth, but he closes it back again, shaking his head in what seems to be… disappointment? 'How did this idiot become the Hokage again? Oh yeah, Tobirama-sensei used eenie meenie miney mo and the finger happened to land on him.'

Man, their system is fucked up.

"Still, what are you going to do with this? Putting the boy in ROOT will make people question his whereabouts." Danzo says. "I really appreciate the thought that you trust me enough to handle the boy, but what will you make him do?" he pauses. "It will at least take ten months for me to prepare the boy into ROOT, another three years to develop him and another two to train him before he could even start to take missions."

"Do those then." Hiruzen's answer causes Danzo to almost trip despite being standing still. "Let's be honest here, Danzo. From whatever spying that your boys have done in the past, even those without my authorization, you figured out that the normal ninja lifestyle will not suit the boy. He needs something even grander, something that will keep him a ninja. I'm not about to put him into ANBU, because the boy would not last long if he's kept in an organization as stiff as ANBU."

Hiruzen takes his pipe off his mouth, just to inhale air.

"Your ROOT, however… is flexible. ROOT, upon its founding, was meant to do the things that ANBU could not do. It's meant to be an asset that Konoha could never lose." Hiruzen shakes his head. "You know this way more than I do, Danzo."

Danzo finds himself incapable of speaking, much less retorting to his former teammate's words. Hiruzen's method of becoming Hokage may be… er… crass and stupid, but he's everything a Kage should ever be.

"Now, where are those best men you spoke of? If they're as good as you made them sound, then they should already be here with Naruto-ku-"

KABLAM!

The entire office shakes from it.

"GRAMPS! HELP! I HAVE MASKED NINJAS AFTER ME BUT I MANAGED TO GET AWAY FROM THEM AND-"

Danzo reacts as fast as the eye could see, which is pretty amazing since he's old and crippled. "What did you say boy?! Are you telling me that five of my best men, five of my top commanders failed in kidnapping you here?!"

Naruto, panicked and jumpy with the whole 'I was just kidnapped minutes ago' does not an old crippled guy gripping the collar of his jacket while demanding him impossible questions. "Yeah, I di-HEY WAIT A MINUTE!" The boy's shrimp sized brain finally realizes what is wrong with the picture. "Are you telling me that you're the guy who's responsible for my attempted kidnapping?!"

"I am." No hesitation.

"…Pft!" Both Naruto and Danzo glare at the Hokage, who's trying his best to hide his laughter… and failing in doing so.

"In any case, child," Danzo redirects the boy's attention back to him. "Are you really telling me that you managed to escape from a well-coordinated kidnapping from five of my best men?" Naruto takes a step back from the serious tone the crippled old man is using at him.

"Well, I don't know about well-coordinated…" he trails off, before getting back into topic. "Anyway, why would you send those guys after me?! I didn't do anything wrong did I?"

Hiruzen immediately intercepts, before Danzo could pester the boy with even more pointless questions. Well, they're not really pointless since he's also curious on how the boy managed to escape from five highly trained ROOT shinobi. "Aside from not attending the academy twice a week, you did nothing wrong, Naruto-kun. I'm surprised you even bother attending your graduation." Hiruzen is honest with his surprise, making the boy's slothful nature even more obvious.

"I had my… consciousness to thank for that." the blonde replies sourly and regretfully.

"You're welcome too, kid."

"Back to topic… you don't have to worry about getting kidnapped or anything, Naruto-kun." Hiruzen says, rousing confusion from the boy. "I had those men pretend to kidnap you in order to bring you here, I hope they weren't too forceful."

Naruto is slackjawed. He mouths incoherent words, most of them being incredulous ones. "'PRETEND'?! THEY WERE LEGIT KIDNAPPING ME NOT MORE THAN THIRTY MINUTES AGO AND YOU SAID THAT THEY WERE 'PRETENDING'?!" He draws in air. "And 'forceful'? THEY BAGGED ME IN A FREAKING SACK YOU OLD COOT!"

Instead of looking sorry, much less apologizing, Hiruzen dismisses the boy's fury with several waves of his hand. "Don't sweat the small stuff, consider them first-hand experience in becoming a ninja."

"Are you telling me that your ninja get kidnapped and bagged in sacks in the daily?"

"No, now they're stuffed in cardboard boxes, because they're a whole lot cheaper." The Hokage replies normally.

"WHO FUCKING CARES!"

"Hey watch your language young man!"

"SUCK IT OLD MAN!"

Danzo sighs. Stupidity… the bread and butter of potential geniuses. Coughing loudly to grab the two bickering souls who are currently arguing, Danzo succeeds in getting their attention. "Can we get to the point of the boy's presence here, Hiruzen?"

"Ah, yeah, ahem, I was just about to go there…"

"Like hell you were!" Naruto and Danzo scream as one.

"Anyway, Naruto-kun, you must be surprised about your lack of team, aren't you?" Finally, they're down to business.

"Hell yeah I am." Naruto scowls with rightful annoyance. "I'm not going to be an 'independent' genin or whatever you call them. There's literally no labor division in working alone!"

"Oh?" Hiruzen faux surprise. "If you work alone, you will get to have all of the pay to yourself, you know? There's no need to divide them equally or anything like that."

Naruto flinches, but later, he shakes his head. "Nuh uh. Not going to work old man. Genins can only take D-ranked missions, especially a fresh graduate like me, and those missions pay half of my usual allowance."

"Hm…" Hiruzen begins to stroke his beard. He just needs to play this right. "Then, how about this. I have an interesting offer for you, Naruto-kun." Hiruzen gestures to his former teammate. "That man over there is Danzo, he is my old teammate when I was still under the guidance of an instructor. Danzo over here trains some of the best shinobi that Konoha has to offer and they are put in an organization called ROOT."

"…ROOT?" Naruto tilts his head, asking. "You mean like the tree?"

"No, it's the metaphysical location that acts as the "force" that exists at the top of all theories in every dimension, as well as the source of all events and phenomena in the universe." The Hokage deadpans.

"…"

"…"

Hiruzen sighs. "Yes, the tree. Anyway, these ROOT ninjas are special. Even more special than my ANBUs." Hiruzen can see the spark of interest showing from the boy's eyes. A little more and he'll have this in the bag! "ROOT ninjas are trained by Danzo here and the training, while harsh, exhilarating, cruel, mind breaking, torturing, hell trudging, painful, traumatizing, mind bending, ass-"

"Can we please skip that part?!" The teen exclaims.

"…okay… where was I…" Hiruzen remembers. "Oh, right, ROOT shinobis are trained by Danzo and his trusted men. They are on par with the ANBU we all know and fear today. However, here's where you'll get lost, ROOT shinobis are not registered as Konoha shinobis." Hiruzen resumes just before Naruto could ask. "The reason is because it is an organization that's meant to be even more secretive than the ANBU. They deal with jobs similar to what an ANBU would do, but they are not bound by standard Konoha shinobi rules… I'll leave that part to Danzo to elaborate further later on when you accept your new career." Hiruzen pauses. "Now, questions?"

"Just two."

"Okay, shoot."

"One. So basically, I'm going to be a part of a very shady organization that can potentially go against Konoha?"

"Basically, yes, but we'll talk later about that last part." Hiruzen nods, before gesturing him to continue.

"Last one… what makes so sure that I'm going to accept this bullshit?"

Hiruzen gives the boy a douche-y grin. "What makes you think that you'll be allowed out of here after learning all of the things that I've said?"

The teen slowly raises his hand. He opens his mouth, then it shuts close again, with the hand limping back to his side. "There's no way out of this, is there?" he turns his head to Danzo who shakes his head slowly.

"Well," Naruto breathes in. "fuck me."

I really hope you enjoyed this first chapter and understood my humor. I'm still new at this so I apologize if there're mistakes in this first chapter. I'm trying to bring out a new type of character in Naruto, and I'm a hundred percent sure that his character is something that some of you guys can probably relate to.

Now, regarding the story, this story is put in the comedy genre. COMEDY. Comedy is subjective – then again, what aren't subjective these days? – and what I find funny you may not. COMEDY is meant to be enjoyed, it's meant to get all of us laughing together instead of laughing at someone. We're supposed to enjoy it. Satirical jokes, political memes, offensive humor… they're all comedy and I'm hoping that at the end of the day, we will all laugh at it together not against each other.

Aside from that… hope you don't mind me dropping a few references, dank memes, parodies, corny one liners, cheesy one liners, cringey jokes and anything remotely similar to me trying to make this story funny. I know you guys love your references, dank memes, corny one liners, cheesy one liners and cringey jokes.

In other words, what I'm trying to say is, DON'T GET OFFENDED.

At the end of the day, this story is just fiction and there's nothing you can do about it aside from flaming this story which is something I can totally ignore because I'm used to being burned IRL.

With that said… goodbye.

P.S: Oh, and one more thing, I hope you guys like waiting, because the next chapter is going to take a while.