Touhou miss adventure

Disclaimer: We don't own Touhou or the characters, this fanfic is purely crack for this series. they will get back to normal, but that is after the circumstances.

Episode 1: Hangover

What happened last night, no one knows, but to those who woke up this morning, it was clear that something had indeed happened.

When Reimu woke up, she found herself covered in a very fluffy duvet, in fact it was so fluffy that it almost felt like a tail... a lot of tails actually, when she opened her eyes, she saw Yukari's sleeping face, way too close to her own, after getting over that shock, she wondered whose tails it was since Yukari didn't have one, with a quick scan around her, she found that the entire Yakumo household was in this bed, Ran was holding her from behind and Chen lied nestled at her toes. "What the! How did I end up here?" Were the first real thoughts of the morning for this very hungover person.

When Yukari woke up and saw Reimu's stunned face, she giggled slightly. "Good Morning, Reimu~"

"W-what happened last night? why am I in your bed?!" Reimu yelled in confusion.

"You mean you don't remember?" She made a pouting face, "You flew around Gensokyo and yelled, 'Yukari where are you?' I heard you at one point and showed up, then you proceeded to say, 'I want to sleep with you' very loudly in fact. and thus here we are now."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?" Reimu shouted in disbelief, as she tumbled out of the bed.

"No need to be so shy Reimu~" Yukari smirked, with a glint in her eyes,

"I'm not being shy, and I really don't remember anything. Last thing I recall, is drinking with Marisa, Sanae, Sakuya, oddly enough Mokou and Youmu. after that my mind's blank." Reimu thought about her vague memories and grumbled when they didn't connect.

"So you say, that nothing of what you've said and done, is not also your desires?" Yukari asked a bit playful.

"No… It wasn't." Reimu coldly replied.

Yukari let out a sigh, "What a shame."

Reimu got up, dressed and prepared to leave, "I still have some duties to attend to at home, I'll see you around."

Yukari shrugged her shoulders as Reimu flew away out of the door, they would talk later, after all, no places could be hidden from her.

When Marisa woke up, she found herself littered in girls, and somehow Rinnosuke was there too, though he was the only one fully dressed.

A knock on the door, and a voice from outside, "Are you awake?" made Marisa turn her head and reply, "yes."

"Are you decent?" Marisa was about to answer yes... but looking at herself, she decided to get dressed, and cover the rest of the girls in a blanket, before giving her yes.

Byakuran opened the door, and came with a tray filled with fresh fruit, milk and some sugar.

being confused by the tray, but accepting it anyway, Marisa began eating.

"I hope you have had a wonderful night with all your wives and your husband. Byakuren sincerely wished with stars glimmering in her eyes.

Marisa spat out the mouthful she had just put into her mouth, "My? WHAT?!"

Alice stirred in her sleep, "Mmm Marisa..."

Marisa's heart rate skyrocketed.

"Your wives, Marisa, you just got married to all of those wonderful girls yesterday night, here in our lovely temple, so you are hereby a married girl, and what a lot of girls you have, not to mention your husband, and before you ask, yes it is legal to marry guys in Gensokyo. Finally humans and youkais are coming together." Byakuran uttered with a dreaming look on her face.

Marisa looked at her flock of spouses, and realized, that she was in for one hell of a morning.

Shikieiki woke up, looked around and saw all the other girls do the same, she then looked at Marisa and proclaimed loudly, "Marisa Kirisame! I hereby judge you guilty of bigamy, how dare you have more wives than ME!" That got the attention of the rest of the girls and they also laid claims to Marisa, in fact, it became so intense, that Marisa decided to houdini away from the temple, luckily she managed to get her broom in the process.

No one noticed that she left because of their struggle, not for a good hour or so. at which point most of the kinks of this new relationship had been ironed out and they decided to go retrieve Marisa together.

When Sakuya woke up, she was stuck in Ayakashi, when she looked around her, all of Gensokyo's greater fairies were around her, sleeping on each of the tree's branches, some were underdressed.

When she noticed a slight chill. she found out that she too was underdressed, at least for outdoor standards. setting some idea of yesterday's events into motion in her head. "AAAAH~ my head What happened? And... what happened here?" Sakuya wondered, none of this made any sense.

Those thoughts were interrupted when the Fairies woke up and flocked to her side to cuddle and be really friendly.

"Sakuya Onee-sama, do you have anymore candy?" Daiyousei asked of her.

Sakuya looked frantically around her and did indeed spot some candy, she then tried to give it to her, but the fairy refused, "Aren't you going to feed it to me?… like you did yesterday?" and a maidenly blush erupted on her face.

"Ehh? Uh… Sure I am…?" She gulped, she instantly stopped time and then promptly left the scene... much to the wonder of the fairies.

Sakuya wandered the netherworld aimlessly, Until someone very familiar called her name very loudly.

"THERE YOU ARE! SAKUYA-A! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME AT SUCH A CRUCIAL TIME?!" Remilia raged with dripping venom.

"Oh… My!" Sakuya uttered in shock and confusion, "I don't recall leaving you… at all, not even why I am here?! "

"No excuses! We had an important dinner party, nothing was done, no one was there to help, not you, not the fairies, not Patchouli, how dare you desert me!?" Remilia lost in hatred, she moved in for the kill, this was revenge for her broken pride.

Sakuya, still not feeling quite herself, couldn't decide if she should run away, fight to the bitter end... or cast herself at her mistress' feet and beg for mercy. She clenched her eyes shut, unable to make a choice and awaited her fate...

Remilla was smote repeatedly by the divine magic of a shrine maiden, paralysing the vampire completely. As Reimu rushed in to save the human, who she thought was a normal lost innocent human, who was about to be devoured by a vampire. "Come with me if you want to live!." She called, but looked very puzzled when she noticed the chief maid was being attacked by her own mistress. "Hi… did you have a fallout or something?" she asked curiously.

Sakuya was baffled by what just happened, she just looked at the shrine maiden like she was a ghost of her imagination, "Oh... …Sure ...l-let's get out of here!"

Reimu nodded as she helped Sakuya away from the 'evil' vampire, holding her arm gently as they flew away.

When Youmu woke up, she was sharing a bed with Nitori, inside a somewhat broken room at the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

She shouted out a, "Wha-?" which woke Nitori up. they stared at each other for a while, a very long while, before turning beet red, Nitori asked, "Did... anything happen... between the two of us...?"

"N-No not at all, nothing happened whatsoever." Nitori sighed in relief, "That's good, now Hina won't hate me for cheating on her, she can get really mean once she gets to it. there was this one time, she poured all her misfortune into me so all my experiments blew up in my face."

That wasn't the image of Kagiyama Hina that Youmu knew, but then, she didn't know her that well.

They both agreed to get out of bed, so they threw back the covers, only then did Youmu see that Nitori was wearing a miniskirt bridal dress. And one thought went through their minds, "Oh damn, something DID happen..."

When Sanae woke up she was covered in children, she had bite marks all over her body and she had by far the worst hangover of all the hungover girls.

The daycare workers threw her out with violent threats if she ever returned.

The moment Sanae left the kindergarten, Keine happened upon her, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING CREEPING AROUND THE CHILDREN!?"

"AH... I… Don't… I swear! I didn't do anything on purpose-" Sanae quickly tried to defend the confusion that was her life.

Keine didn't care for half hearted excuses and attacked with a heavy kick.

Sanae only had a split second to throw a shield up to protect herself, "Please! I'm telling the truth, I don't why I am here... at all!" She cried literally, while flying away before the now transforming human would have steamrolled her in the dirt.

When Mokou woke up, she found herself in a dark room, on an unfamiliar bed. As her eyes began adjusting to the low light in the room, first she noticed that this was an enormous bed. Could easily fit four people larger than herself. But! what really caught her eye, was under a mountain of pillows and oversized duvets. Was an all too familiar arch rival, "WHAT! AM I DOING IN YOUR BED!" Mokou screamed, so loud that the poor lunarian tumbled out of the bed, in fear of being eaten alive.

"Please Mokou-sama, do not devour me like last night, it was too much." The look on Kaguya's face was frantic, like she was actually scared of the girl before her, though also not unpleased.

"Excuse me. Devoured?! Explain NOW!" Mokou looked at her confusedly and with her rage barely under control.

Kaguya fidgeted with her fingers and glanced away, "It's just… Last night, there was no stopping your passion, you devoured me completely, in fact, you continued with your onslaught well after you licke-."

At this point, Kaguya could not speak as Mokou's hands kept it shut, "Never mind, I'd rather not know… I'm leaving." And so she did, posthaste.

As the girls fled from their various predicaments, they all shared the same thought, "What in Gensokyo happened yesterday?!"

End of chapter one.