A/N: Well, I'm not sure if anyone's tried this angle before, but here we go. I honor my requests.
*bangs head against desk*
Why you do this?! Why do you give me ideas?!
There I was, getting ready to update "A Most Unlikely Card" and "I Am Not The King" when this came along!
I swear, need to post something like a plot-bin for my RWBY ideas/request, they just keep coming, and this...well. Once again, this is a request story, and it won't affect my update schedule. Kudos to you, AsherGod7893. Your idea was simply too good to ignore, and I couldn't turn down a request like that, least of all made in good faith.
I salute you for this concept, good sir!
First off, this tale is a different blend of Romance and humor. Secondly, I'm not necessarily known for taking requests often, but if someone presents me with a particularly interesting idea, I've been known to accept from time to time. Case in point, when this fine chap asked me to try my hand at it, I couldn't help but give it my all. And of course...
Le gasp! A story that isn't a harem?!
As per the request, the pairing is NarutoxBlake. I'm fine with that. Truth be told, I've written waaaaay to many harems these days, and it feels better to focus on a single pairing for once, rather than spread the attention everywhere. On that note, I may upgrade this to M later for...reasons.
Title is a pun, of course. As ever, I own no references, themes, or memes.
Hope this little tidbit makes you smile, because I'm grinning from ear to ear right now~!
"Don't judge a book by its cover."
~?
Read If You Dare
"I call bullshit."
"Language, Naruto."
"Like I said, bull. You wrote a book." The words hung in Kakashi's office, more a condemnation than an actual question. "And you want me to proofread it?"
Kakashi sighed behind his desk and adjusted his hat. Blasted kage robes. He couldn't stand them. How anyone got used to the damn things, he'd never know. You couldn't move in them properly to save your life, let alone fight, and the hat made it damn near impossible to see anything in front of you. Really, it was as an impractical design all around. He'd have to see about some changes now that he was in charge. Sadly, he couldn't really do much when it came to a former student mouthing off to him. He'd asked him here, after all.
"I don't think I appreciate your tone." he hid a smile behind his mask.
"And I don't think I'm going to like what you wrote!" His student squawked and stabbed an accusing finger stabbed across the distance at him. "I know that look! Its a dirty book, isn't it?!"
Kakashi scratched his cheek. "No...?"
Yes. Of course it was.
Even in death, Jiraiya's books were the stuff of legends among more...cultured readers.
In hindsight, Kakashi really couldn't say what it was that possessed him to put a pen to paper and try his hand at the craft himself. Boredom? Imagination? The terrifying knowledge that his precious Icha Icha series would never reach its a conclusion with its author dead? Some mad blend of the three? Kakashi couldn't rightly say, only that he had.
It was as if a spell had come over him; once he'd started, he'd not been able to stop until the deed was done.
Honestly, he wasn't even sure it would sell well. He'd written the novel in a fit of passion over the course of a month, and now, at long last, it was finished. Still, he was proud of his work, and he'd rather enjoyed trying to pen a novel. For a man who'd devoted his life to war for so long, there was just something free about writing a good book. Even if it wasn't under his real name.
Which was where his precious -former!- student came in.
Like any good author, the aging shinobi needed someone to check his work. And if there was a bit of irony to be had there...well. He wasn't being vindictive. Anyone who said otherwise was a traitor and a liar. It wasn't as if he was using this as some far-fetched excuse to exact vengeance on the young man for all the pranks he'd played on him in the past. That implied pettiness. Kakashi was many things, but he wasn't petty. And if Naruto just so happened to be the basis for said story...well, surely that was coincidence. Yes. Coincidence.
Thank the log for code names and pseudonyms!
Still, the blond was waiting on him for an answer and he supposed he should give it to him.
"Why, Naruto!" Kakashi batted away his concerns with a faux smile that his protege certainly couldn't see behind the mask, "I would never do such a thing."
"You would." an eyebrow twitched. "You, of all people, absolutely would."
Kakash twitched. Fine. Now that it had come to this...
Guilt trip it was!
"You wound me, my dear student!" As his old pupil looked on aghast, the infamous Copycat clutched at his chest and leaned back in his chair as though he were in physical pain. "I've never asked you for anything, and the one time that I do, you refuse me! How heartless! How cruel!"
"I don't wanna read your dirty book, damnit!"
Kakashi sensed weakness and pounced with a glint in his eye.
"We fought a goddess together! And this is how you repay my trust?"
"Now you're just being melodramatic. How did you even write that thing, anyway?" his student tilted his head. "Didn't think you had the time."
"If you must know," the elder shinobi lifted his chin and preened a bit, "The process involved copious amounts of sake, a bit of fuinjutsu, and plenty of reference material."
"Eh? What did you need seals for...?"
Kakashi launched the novel at him like a kunai. "Read the damn book already!"
"Fine, fine!" Naruto caught it with a growl. "I'll be your guinea pig. But you owe me a week's worth of ramen after this...
"Read the whole thing and I'll make it a month." Kakashi countered immediately.
"Deal~!"
With a long suffering sigh Naruto turned the book over in his hands, squinting at its red-and-black cover.
"Ninja's of Love, huh?" he shook his head. "Ain't that a little corny?"
"I thought you of all people wouldn't judge a book by its cover, Naruto." Kakashi admonished, drawing a wince from him. Alright, perhaps that was a bit of a low blow on his part. "Read it before you pass your judgement, please."
Naruto grumbled but did as he was bid.
"So what am I supposed to do?" He asked, gazing at the back of the book. "Looking for flaws? Typos? There's no summary here."
"I'll write one up later." his sensei reassured him with a wave. "For now, I just want your unvarnished opinion."
"You sure this ain't a dirty book?"
Kakashi hefted a lone shuriken with intent.
"Kidding!" the jinchuuriki cried! "I was just kidding!"
Before the old jonin could make good on his silent threat, Naruto flipped the book open and began to read.
"Huh." blue eyes blinked as he turned a page. Once. Twice. Thrice. "Doesn't look so bad, I guess. So the hero's name is Menma? Sounds familiar."
Kakashi fought down a mad giggle. Naruto would never let him live it down if knew the truth. He couldn't well use the boy's name; while his student might be bit thick when it came to romantic matters -poor Hinata had her work cut out for her there!- but he could prove rather sharp when pressed in others. If he went so far to use his name in this book, he'd quickly catch on. Naturally he'd embellished a bit to make certain his adorable student would be none the wiser.
"So far, so good." Naruto muttered, turning another page. Abruptly, he frowned. "Who the hell is Blake?"
"Hmm?" Kakashi mirrored said frown. "Blake?" That couldn't be right. Amaru was the heroine's name. Certainly not Blake.
"Yeah, says her name right here and everything." Naruto hummed and touched a finger to one page, lost in the book. "Dark hair, black-and-white outfit, golden eyes, and...cat ears? Seriously?" those azure orbs flicked up to meet his gaze for a moment before the novel sucked him back in again. "Takes all kinds, I guess." his shoulders rolled in a shrug. "Didn't think you were the type."
He wasn't!
"And a school for hunters?" Naruto prattled on, confusing his mentor further still. "Sounds a little bit like what we do...still, aren't the monsters a bit much though? Grimm? Were you trying to make a pun?"
Kakashi didn't recall writing that. Nevermind the heroine's name, was he even reading the same novel? Was this a genjutsu? Perhaps another prank? He pulsed his chakra just in case someone was having him on, yet not a thing changed. Naruto still stood before him, idly thumbing his way through the pages with increasing intensity.
"Oh, so this Blake person used to be a bad guy, but she saw the error of her ways?" he was actually smiling now. "Neat! Sasuke might like her."
Taking a long moment to collect himself, the Fifth Hokage looked away from his precious student and focused his gaze on the book in his hands with renewed scrutiny. Ninjas of Love. That was the red-and-black cover he'd created alright, right down to the title and false name he'd used as an author. But the story Naruto was recounting to him wasn't something he'd written. It was too detailed, too vivid. He sensed a hint of something in the air. Chakra? Whatever it was, it was potent. Enough for even someone like him to sense it...
An awful feeling crept through Kakashi's chest as he rose from his seat.
...and why was the book glowing?!
"Naruto! Put the book down!"
"Just a second," much to his chagrin, his fellow shinobi waved him away. "Its just starting to get good-
Naruto turned to another page, then another...
All at once, the world burned bright.
Naruto vanished into it.
He didn't fade away, he didn't explode, and he didn't disappear. He simply vanished between one blink at the next. Bereft of its reader, the book tumbled to the floor to strike it spine first. A sudden wind whipped through the room, heedless of the closed windows, and snapped the pages shut with a resounding thud.
Beneath his mask, Kakashi's mouth clicked open.
"Naruto?" he called into the silence. "Is this a joke? You're kidding me, right?"
Striding forward, he picked up the fallen book, which had ceased glowing in its entirety.
Kakashi opened it. Thumbed through a few pages. Nothing happened. Nothing changed. Nothing.
"Well," he muttered, gazing at the fallen tome and the vacant space where his student had been, "That can't be good...
(.0.0.0.)
"You sure you don't wanna come with?"
Blake Belladona was many things, but social wasn't one of them. Oh, she had her own small circle of friends within Beacon, but that was it. Small circle. She was content to keep it that way too; outside of Team RWBY she wasn't really the sort to actively interact with others who didn't share her interests. And now? A trip into the city? On a weekend? When it looked like it was going to rain?
Nope. Lots of nope. Nope sandwich.
Blake hated getting wet. No-thank-you-please!
"Sorry." so she said as much. "I'm feeling a little tired. I think I'll take a nap."
"Gods, you're like a lazy cat sometimes." Yang groused, not knowing quite how close to the mark her remark had landed. "You sure?"
"C'mon, Blake!" Ruby pleaded, clutching her hands. "It'll be fun!"
Their team leader's pout was a terrifying thing to behold. Blake had fallen victim to it once in the beginning, when they were first learning to work together. Once. Never again. Since then she'd grown inured to Ruby and her wily...well, wiles. She met those teary silver eyes and didn't so much as bat an eyelash.
"Awww, nothing." she gently yet firmly tugged her palms away. "Sorry, Ruby. I'm really just not feeling up to it today."
"Boo...
"Just let her be if she wants to rest." Weiss tossed her hair with huff. "She doesn't know what she's missing."
A dark brow arched. "You're just going to spy on the students arriving for the Vytal Festival."
Gotcha. Having been caught out, Weiss's pale face turned an amusing shade of red.
"S-Says the girl who stays up to the crack of dawn." The Schnee sputtered.
"I can neither confirm nor deny that statement." Blake hummed.
Late nights spend reading, more like.
Still, Blake chose not to rise to the bait. Their friendship had been...strained as of late. She wasn't even sure why. She tolerated Weiss -in as much as the sprightly girl tolerated her- but lately it felt like they were just one argument away from an explosion. She suspected things would be different if the Schnee knew she was a Faunus, but that wasn't a secret she was keen on sharing. Something would have to give, and soon, but she would not be the one to start it. She liked her nice, quiet life here. She had no intention of jeopardizing it.
"We'll bring you back a book or something~!" Yang promised.
Ah, Yang. You know me too well. A faint smile tugged at Blake's mouth. "Have fun."
Yang flashed her one last cheery wave and closed the door behind her. Within moments the faint sound of Ruby's happy chatter began to recede further and further into the distance. Blake listened intently with great patience, counting the seconds until she was sure she could no longer hear anyone. Even then she waited a good thirty seconds just to be certain they wouldn't double back. Ruby was notorious for forgetting things, and Yang, well. The less said about her the better.
Blake looked left.
Blake looked to the right.
Blake exhaled slowly. Alone at last.
With painstaking care she climbed into her bunk and plucked her parcel from its hiding spot beneath her pillow. With one final precursory glance to make sure no one was watching, she opened the book. Had she a tail, it would've been wagging right about now. As thing stood her ears were all but twitching beneath her bow with excitement. Trembling fingers peeled back the cover and opened it to the first page. A pleased sigh escaped her, if anyone had been around to hear it, she would've denied it. Violently.
Finally. Finally, she had a chance to read again. She hadn't been able to touch her beloved books for weeks now due to her Team's shenanigans.
Tukson said this one was a novel unlike any other. A tale to die for.
She couldn't wait to dig into it.
There was nothing quite like a little quiet reading after a long week. Ruby and the others could have their fun in town, provided the threat of rain didn't send them scurrying back to Beacon. The clouds outside her window were beginning to look ominously dark. Blake wished them well in their little spying endeavor. Paradise was here.
Burrowing beneath the covers she fluffed the pillow behind her head and stretched out with a languid sigh.
Then she began to read.
Sure enough, the protagonist was named Naruto and his adventures as a Ninja. Hmm. Odd name for a hero, but she supposed she could look past it for the time being. Tukson hadn't been wrong; it really was a good book thus far, if a tad tame for her tastes...no...wait, she blinked as she turned a page. Followed by another. Then another. Another. Nevermind. Not tame. Crimson color flooded her cheeks. Not tame at all. She'd balked at the title at first, but now...well! Was it hot in here, or was it just her...?
She'd just gotten to the good part when all hell broke loose.
A blinding flashing of lightning just outside her window momentarily startled Blake, but it was the deafening crack of thunder that followed which truly spooked the poor Faunus. Without warning the novel burned white hot in her hands, so much so that she recoiled and dropped it into her lap with a gasp.
"What in the world...?!"
Before she could do anything more, something shot out of the pages and struck her head on, sending her tumbling out of her bunk with yelp of surprise. Aura crackled angrily as her back struck the floor and she flung her arms out to catch herself. Just as well too; because the very moment she did, a heavy weight landed on her. When Blake tried to rise, she smacked her forehead against something else.
Stars -entire galaxies!- burned her vision black and her head crashed back against the carpet.
"Ow!" Someone cried in unison with her. "What was that for?!"
Squinting through the pain, Blake raised her gaze.
Bewildered blue eyes gaze back at her, not an inch from her own. Idly she took in his appearance, noted those strange whiskered cheeks and a messy mop of golden hair. She noticed something else, then. That "weight" holding her down wasn't a weight at all, but his body. He'd landed atop her, hands on either side of her head, leaving her pinned in place. His body straddled hers, hips resting in a place where they really, really shouldn't be resting.
What...what...what was this?!
He'd come flying out of her book and knocked her down.
Now they were trapped in a compromising position straight out of one of her...novels. One of the darker ones. Yes. Novels. Blake didn't read smut. No. Not in the least. Anyone who listened to Yang or said otherwise was a traitor to cultured readers everywhere.
The young man frowned and pulled away, lips brushing the outer lobe of her ear as he whispered dark secrets-gah! Bad Blake! Bad thoughts! She watched him loom over her, felt him shift against her. A strange warmth pooled in the pit of her stomach and she rubbed her legs together restlessly. That made it worse.
Her ears twitched again and she realized she'd lost her bow in the chaos. Worse, the newcomer was staring at them most intently.
A faint note of panic bleated in the back of her head. He saw. He knows I'm a Faunus.
"I have a question." he began slowly, drawling each word.
"Y-Yes? What is it?" her traitorous heart skipped three beats as his brow darkened. Whiskered cheeks pinched in a scowl when he gazed down upon her. He looked good like that, Blake thought. Dark. Dangerous. Like a predator ready to devour her whole. His grip on her was strong and firm and...oh. Oh, dear.
Stop! Thinking! That!
How little she knew. The man frowning at her wouldn't hurt a fly. Of course, she didn't know that.
His eyes shifted to her ears again. Flicked down to her gold eyes. Back to her ears again. The stranger tilted his head and suddenly that strange, stormy expression fled from his visage, chased away by a sunny smile. It made Blake's heart skip another beat. By contrast to his earlier glower, this one suited him all the more. In the end, his question was not at all what she'd expected.
"Are those real?"
Blake blinked slowly. "Excuse me?"
"The ears." he prodded them gently. "Are. They. Real?"
Blake twitched. As far was first impression went, it wasn't the best.
With a growl, she reared back and bit down on his intruding finger, drawing a yelp from him.
She lashed out, arched her back and sent him sprawling across the room. He toppled backward with a laugh.
Looking back, that was how it all started. An unlikely meeting through means or magic that Blake didn't understand. Their meeting would change the fate of two worlds. For better or worse, who could say? Remnant was not prepared for the chaos that this stranger brought with him. Blake certainly wasn't prepared for it! Nope. Not at all. Not in the least. But she'd have to be.
One does not simply judge a book by its cover, after all...
A/N: Hope you enjoyed our little opening act. Blake's got a little secret to hide now, eh~?
Needless to say the "Book" is more than it appears; not just a simple magical plot device. Its so much more than that. I could go more into detail here, but a kind chap pointed out to me that I'd be spoiling things, so I've since removed the info from my author's note.
Well, this was a trip and a half to write. Haven't laughed this hard while writing something in awhile. And a single pairing at that! Feels good.
To clarify, Naruto no longer has the Mark on his hand, as this tale takes place AFTER Kaguya's defeat, but before the "Last" movie. Which means no bullshit healing powers. Furthermore, this chapter takes place before Weiss and Blake have their little Fang-related argument. *grins* I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.
Blake also strikes me as the sort to dive into a book given half the chance. Fair warning, this story won't end the way you expect~!
As ever, reviews keep this old man's engine alive, so I'll be looking forward to them.
Soooo in the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Review...Would You Kindly?
And enjoy the Previews!
As ever:
SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!
PLOT DETAILS AHOY!
YE BE WARNED!
Read at your own risk!
(Previews!)
"Don't just jump out like that!"
"The White Fang are bad guys, right?"
"They're...misunderstood." Blake twitched. "I don't believe they're responsible for all this."
When she looked up, Naruto was grinning from ear to ear. It was a good look for him, she thought.
"Alright." He nodded and set his drink down with immaculate care. "Then we'll just have to prove your friend wrong."
His words jolted her. "You believe me?"
"You're my friend, Blake." He tilted his head. "Of course I believe you."
Blake nearly burst into tears.
Roman Torchwick was having a bad day.
It got a whole lot worse when a GIANT GOLDEN FOX swatted a bullhead out of the sky.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE KIDS?!"
"Well, I've seen your world." Naruto offered her his hand. "Wanna see mine? I dunno if the book still works, but its worth a try, right?"
"You're serious." Blake eyed him warily, and the book in his hand moreso. "You weren't lying?"
"Nope." he beamed. "And I keep my promises. "So...do ya trust me?"
"Will I be able to come back?" she frowned at him.
He shrugged. "Probably? Magic is bullshit."
Her fingers curled around his.
...I suppose so."
R&R~!