Even with a grocery store one traffic light away from home, a lot of weird things can happen during the passage from one place to the other. Like that time an old lady thought the red light meant she could go. Or the amateur driver who took a turn against traffic. Or the nutjob who walked into a bar and started swearing at everyone he came across.

That today the weirdness is right as I enter the grocery store is a first.

"Ma che porca d'una troia…?!"

Sand. Instead of the inside of the store, what I'm met with is a vast field of nothing but sand, spreading as far as the eye can see. The only color that differentiates from the brown of the sand, is the clear cloudless blue sky above me. And the intense sun in it.

What the hell is going on here?

I turn back to look at the door through which I came in. To my shock, that's not the only thing I passed through. There is a large golden ring around it, unlike anything I've seen before. Its lower part goes beneath the sand, but otherwise it's standing perfectly at ground level, as if kept up by some kind of magic.

Before I can try to reach the door, the ring suddenly shrinks down, until it's become the size of a bracelet, and keeps floating in midair. The door goes away entirely as it does that. And before I have the time to properly process what's happened, the ring flies up to-

Holy shit!

Looking down at me with a smirk and its green and yellow eyes, there is a small devil-like gray creature with patches of pink fur, including a ponytail on the back of its head. A ring dangles by both of its horns, with a third wrapped around its...I would say pelvis, but it has no legs. Creepiest than that, though, are the small arms that float around its body, completely disjointed by it.

I have seen this thing before. It should not be possible, as that was through a videogame of imaginary creatures, but there's no mistaking who this is.

"Hoopa," I whisper.

The little genie-like thing giggles at my words.

This...can not be possible. Pokémon are not real. But that ring, and this desert where the store is supposed to be…

Wait, desert?

"Hey tu!" I call out at the little imp. "Ti spiace riportarmi dov'ero?"

Hoopa raises one of its...fingers, wiggles it left and right and then, to my horror, turns to fly away from me.

"No, torna indietro!" I shout out. "Torna indietro, brutto figlio di puttana!"

I only stop shouting when I see a folded piece of paper falling down in front of me. Before it can touch the sand, I grab and unfold it.

"Save your breath, pal," it reads. "You're gonna need it in the middle of Desert Resort."

I shred the paper after reading it. That little fucker had better hope I never see it again. Otherwise I'm going to fucking kill him. Pokémon or no Pokémon.

It takes me some time to properly calm down, but when I do I try to organize my thoughts.

So...a fucking Pokémon took me to its world. A world aimed at little kids that works on bonkers logics. And that same bonkers logic could either be the actual reality here (in which case, God help my sanity) or translate to something more realistic. I don't have a clue what 'realistic' Pokémon could be like but I hope it's not some Dark Souls-type nightmare.

Also...that flying dipshit, despite hearing me talk in Italian, gave me a message in English. And that same message said this hellhole is the Desert Resort. And if memory serves me right, that place was in Unova, the region based on the United States.

That is, of course, assuming the horned asshole intended to give me some helpful information. For all I know, I could actually be in the middle of some region I've never heard of and the douche is just waiting to have a laugh at my expense.

Still, Unova is the only lead I have. And I have no food or water on me - I was going to fucking buy it, goddamit. I have to figure out where to go now. Assuming what I remember from White is valid information, the entrance-slash-exit was to the south-east. And always assuming it's the same daytime as back on Earth right now, the sun should still be in that general direction.

...although, with the whole 'based on the USA' thing, wouldn't it make sense it's the same time of day here as it is there? But that can't be, it would be the middle of the night on both of the coasts right now. But if Unova doesn't match its Earth-counterpart, why would it match-?

"Porco cane!" I cry out, kicking the sand at my feet.

So, I'm stuck in a desert, with only a general idea of where I should go, but none of where that direction actually is. And the only way for me to know for certain at this point is to wait for the sun to set. Which could be anywhere from a few hours to half a day. And there's nothing in sight that could possibly offer me cover from the sun. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Ra?"

I turn around after hearing that sound, but find nothing around besides more sand. Great. Haven't been in the desert long but I'm already hallucinating.

"Ra?"

...or maybe not.

I look down at where it's coming from and find...a small cactus. A small moving cactus with a mixture of dark green and yellow spikes, arms, bunny-like flowered ears, a smiling mouth and bug-like yellow eyes that are staring into my own.

A Maractus.

"Ra!"

"Uh...hi?"

The little guy raises one of its arms and waves it at me.

Oookay...so this is the first Pokémon I get to meet after the ass that took me here. I admit I don't remember much about him besides gameplay data, but I think he wasn't one of the more hostile Pokémon. Actually what did the Pokédex say besides that he lives in deserts and makes maracas-like sounds?

"Ra?" the Maractus repeats. And unfortunately, I can't tell what he's trying to say.

"Uh…" I point at the ground beneath me. "Is this your spot?"

He just tilts his head.

"Never mind," I sigh. Not sure why I'm even bothering speaking in English if he can't understand me to begin with. "Sorry if I'm bothering you, little guy, but I'm lost right now. I'm just trying to figure out how I can get out of this desert."

"Ra!" the living plant jumps excitedly. "Ra! Mara ra ractus!"

And all of that means what?

"Ra!" He starts hopping away from me, arms waving in the direction he's going toward while he keeps looking at me. Does he want me to follow him?

I look up in the sky. The sun is right in the direction where he wants to go. And if I am to assume the time here is the same as in Italy, that means it's where I should go. But can I trust the love child of a cactus and maracas to lead me in the right direction?

"Mara!" the Maractus calls to me, adding the maracas-like sound of his ears for emphasys.

I suppose anything is better than waiting for sunset.

I'm not sure how much time I spend following the hopping Pokémon through the sand of this crapsack, but it definitely isn't little.

The sun hits as hard as I was expecting, and before long I find myself sweating so much I have to take my shirt off. The sunburns will suck tomorrow, but it's better than dying from hyperthermia. That is, of course, assuming dehydration lets me see tomorrow.

Fortunately, by the time the sun's shifted to our right (please let that be south!) we arrive within sight of something other than sand: a rocky formation through which passes a metallic structure. A sort of tunnel with artificial light coming from inside of it.

I look down to the Maractus. "That's the exit?"

He nods. "Ra!"

I nod back, "Thanks, little guy. I owe you one."

"Ra!" He starts jumping around, all the while wiggling excitedly all four of his 'appendages', the maracas-like sound accompanying the whole display. I can't help but smile at the little guy's happiness. Unfortunately, the moment is ruined when he-

"AAAAAAUUUUUUGH!"

-jumps to my leg and hugs it.

Shrugging the Maractus off my leg was relatively easy. A few words, a few shakes and he let go. Too bad I still got a few of his spikes stuck in my leg and now I'm limping on it.

Well, here's to hoping there's a medic somewhere near that can remove them. If I have to stay in Unova, it sure won't be like this. Let's just hope healthcare isn't as expensive as in the actual USA, especially since I doubt they accept euros.

...which means I'm broke in this world. Shit.

Well one thing at a time. Let's get out of here first.

"Alright, little guy," I tell the Maractus while I put my shirt back on. "Looks like this is where we part ways."

The angles of his mouth fall after hearing that. "Ra?"

"Yeah. Don't you have friends you want to get back to?"

He shakes his head. Are you kidding me?

"Look," I groan. "Sorry if you were hoping for an adventure. But I'm not a trainer, I don't know the first thing about taking care of you and as soon as I step out of this desert I have a thousand things to sort out. You're better off staying here, understand?"

His smile doesn't return, but he doesn't protest either. He just keeps looking at me with his unblinking, unmoving yellow eyes that I can't read.

"Okay, bye," I tell him before turning around and entering the tunnel.

The interior of the place has an airport feeling to it. Right by the entrance there are two counters, each with its own receptionist and on the opposite sides of the entrance, with a tape separating it in two.

Past the counters, there is a glass door that separates us from another larger one. I can't distinguish very well what's on the other side, but it seems there are other people in it.

"Sir?" the man from the counter on my right calls, waving at himself. "The check-out is this way."

This place has a check-out?

"Coming," I mutter and limp to him. As I do so, the guy's eyes widen as he sees my leg's condition.

"Oh my," he comments when I am in front of him. "What happened out there? Were you hit by a Pin Missile?"

It mildly disturbs me that is the first thing he thinks of. Are Pokémon attacking humans that common of an occurrence?

"Not quite," I reply. "I was lost and a Maractus led me back here. When I thanked him, his way of saying 'you're welcome' was a hug."

"Ouch," he replies. "Well, it's good to see you and the Maractus have at least become friends."

I furrow my brow. "What are you-?"

"Ra!"

I look down at my feet and, to my surprise, the Maractus is there. How did I not notice him?

"I told you I'm not a trainer!"

He merely tilts his head and tries to reach out for me with one of his little arms.

I let out a groan. Of all the Maractuses I could come across, it had to be a clingy one.

"Fine," I concede, massaging the bridge of my nose. "You can come along. But I'm not getting you into fights, got it?"

"Ra!" He raises both arms and waggles his ears excitedly, the maracas sound coming loud and clear.

Hope I don't regret this.

The receptionist chuckles at the Maractus' display. "Well, if that's taken care of, I only need to see your ticket and then we'll get you both checked up."

...ticket?

"What ticket?" I ask.

The guy looks at me like I've grown a second head. "You know, the one you were given by my colleague? The one you were given since you're not a trainer?"

Oh…

Oh.

Oh!

Shit.

"There's a little problem with that," I tell the receptionist, who immediately furrows his brow. "You see, I don't actually have that ticket. I didn't pass through here before."

"Oh?" He arches an eyebrow. "And pray tell, how did you get into the Resort, then?"

"Not of my choice," I answer sincerely. "I was out buying groceries when a Pokémon teleported me here."

He looks at me unamused. "Which Pokémon was it?"

"Are you familiar with Hoopa?"

"The mythical Kalos trickster that supposedly causes mayhem wherever he goes?" he asks drily. "That old children's fable? Really?"

Oh crap. Why did I even think he would believe me?

The receptionist reaches for a phone at his desk. "Hang on. We'll get you that check-up, but first I need to call security."

It takes all of my self-control not to smash the first thing in sight. I get kidnapped by a floating piece of shit, left in the middle of a desert, get my leg turned into a pin cushion and what do I get as a cherry on top now? Jail.

I'm going to kill that little 'trickster'. I'm going to strangle it, then I'll clone it and find a new type of death for each clone.

Well folks, I welcome you to Underdogs, a Pokémon SI fic I decided to tackle. I'm sure those of you who are familiar with the meta game can take a guess why this title.

Also, yes this is the same Eugenio as Entrapped, only that he obviously hasn't been taken to Fire Emblem in this version.

Now, this is going to be a side project for now, while Entrapped is going to remain my main focus, so this will likely not update as often. And hopefully it won't go the way A Merc Who Knew Too Much did.

Many thanks to Softandhappy for betareading. You can find both of us at the Fanfiction Treehouse discord server at: 9XG3U7a

I'll be seeing you next time, guys!