Chapter One: Secrets, Secrets

Sirius was not, as things went, particularly inclined toward hand-holding, or a myriad of other romantic things. Neither was Severus, so that was all good. Neither of them liked flowers, either, so that made everything easier as well.

They both liked chocolate (though Severus would never admit it) and the same books. Severus liked a few alternative Muggle bands and Sirius liked the Beatles, but that was OK, because during the week since they had become "official" their music was rubbing off on each other, until Severus found himself humming "Come Together" and Sirius found himself nodding his head to imagined, irregular drumbeats.

Sirius liked star-gazing. Severus did not. Sirius was going to attempt to correct this sometime in the future. Possibly tonight, if he could get away from his friends for long enough (getting Severus away from his friends was never an issue, as he had "acquaintances" and Sirius and nothing else).

Sirius wanted to tell his Gryffindor friends exactly what Severus meant to him. Severus did not want him to do so at all.

"Let's put it this way," he'd explained, keeping his voice slow and his tone patient. "You and I can be … together, and keep it secret. Or you can tell – Prongs and, and Moony and what is that ridiculous name you call Peter? Wormchow? – and they can rip me into little bits." He shrugged and leaned back into Sirius's embrace. "Your choice."

They were sitting outside, near the lake. The sky was cloudy and the air was heavy with darkness and dew and the grass was slightly wet from the thunderstorm earlier. Sirius was leaning back against a tree, Severus in his arms. It was dark enough that sight was no longer a reliable sense; Severus felt as if he could be balanced precariously in front of a gaping chasm, only Sirius at his back to stop him from falling.

Ridiculous, Severus immediately countered, as soon as he became aware of that thought. There's a tree behind Sirius, not an abyss. But still … it was a thought. Out here in the darkness, there wasn't much that you could be sure of, after all.

Sirius laughed, which caused Severus's heart to do very funny things. Like back flips and somersaults and cartwheels. "Or I can have both," the taller boy said. He smoothed back Severus's hair, to the other boy's extreme annoyance. "It was tickling me," he explained.

"Sure."

"Really."

"Hair cannot tickle people, Bla – Sirius. It's impossible."

"That's what you think."

Severus rolled his eyes. "All right. Back to the matter at hand. You cannot possibly come out to your friends and announce that your boyfriend is the 'greasy git' you've been pranking for the last five years at the same time."

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, his mind only seeming to register the "pranking" section of that statement. He tightened his hold on Severus. "It wasn't … it was just supposed to be funny."

"It doesn't matter," Severus said, looking down. He studied the way the grass spread away from his hands, bending over away from him, pushing lightly against his palms.

"It does," Sirius replied. "And I'm sorry. Again." He kissed the top of Severus's hair.

"You're avoiding the matter at hand, Sirius," Severus said, raising his head back up. "Coming out to your friends will be difficult as it is, without also having to mention that I'm the kid who made you 'go gay', as it were."

Sirius chuckled again, his chest shaking slightly as he did so. It was a rather pleasant feeling, Severus decided, being held against the other boy as he laughed. Not that he was going to encourage Sirius to laugh again. He didn't do humor.

"Actually, it's not coming out. That happened in second year," Sirius said, drawing Severus's mind away from contemplating humorous statements and back to the conversation.

"Really?" Severus turned to look Sirius in the face.

"Yeah. I've known I was bi since – Merlin, since a long time ago."

"And you felt completely comfortable telling your friends?"

"That's what friends are for." Sirius grinned. "Remus just gave me this, 'And you thought we didn't know this already?' look. James said he was glad for me. Peter smiled nervously and assured me that was great and he was straight."

"Have you ever … you know … been interested in any of them?" Severus asked curiously.

"No. Not at all. It's – they're like brothers, see? Remus is like Regulus, except nicer, James is like some sort of less reckless twin, and Peter is the annoying baby."

"I see."

"And carrying the brothers metaphor further, brothers don't keep secrets from each other," Sirius said, his tone less light-hearted. "So that's why I'm going to tell them. Tomorrow."

Severus scowled. "Sirius, you can't –"

"You look cute when you do that," Sirius told him, grinning mischievously. He leaned down and kissed Severus lightly. "Tomorrow."

How, Remus wondered, did you go about telling one of your best friends that you had a crush on his younger brother – without turning him into an ex-best friend, of course? And how did you tell that best friend that, coincidentally, his younger brother had a crush on you, and both of you had accidentally-on-purpose figured this out during a very eventful detention?

("You know," Regulus had said, his eyes shining with amusement, "I spent the last half hour wondering just exactly how I was going to fall on you in a way that would necessitate our lips meeting … it would have been a heck of a lot easier if you'd just told me you felt the same way.")

It was morning in the Great Hall when he first tried. He had woken up earlier than his roommates (as per usual) and had gone down to breakfast, considering his problem and sorting through a myriad of possible solutions in his head. Sirius had sat down next to him about a quarter of an hour later, at least half-asleep if not more so. The other boy's eyes were almost closed and his hair looked like a bird's nest.

"Sirius?" Remus began.

"Arhgksfl?" Sirius replied eloquently, looking up blearily from his breakfast.

Remus panicked. "Um. Uh – your elbow's in the syrup."

"Barghjkl." Sirius lifted his elbow up and glared balefully at the golden liquid that dripped off his robe.

"Scourgify," James said, pointing his wand at Sirius sleeve as he sat down next to Remus. "Good morning."

Remus attempted a smile. At least Regulus wasn't James's younger brother. "Morning."

"Mnhngg," Sirius grunted.

"Anyone seen Peter?" James asked, running a hand through his hair. He looked around the Great Hall, as if Peter might be hiding behind a statue or under a table.

Remus nodded. "Yep. He was pulling the covers over his head and groaning. I don't think we'll see him in Potions this morning." He glanced across the Great Hall, checking to see if the brown-haired boy had entered the hall since he had last looked; he hadn't.

"Five knuts say Slughorn doesn't even notice," James said.

James's eyes seemed to be looking straight through Remus, as if he knew the blond boy's secret; Remus turned red. "I'm not stupid enough to bet against that," he said belatedly, realizing that an answer to James's challenge was required. He turned back to his food hastily, moodily pushing it around his plate. Great. He couldn't even bring himself to meet James's eyes – and James didn't even have a younger brother. Besides which, he could probably have told Sirius that he thought Snivellus was cute and his friend would have just said something like "Ghanijk."

Speaking of Snivellus … From where he was sitting, he could just see the greasy-haired boy out of the corner of his eye. The Slytherin looked, for some reason, just as distracted as Remus was: when Malfoy leaned over to say something to him, he jumped half an inch and two angry splotches of color burned on his cheeks. Remus wondered what to make of this – then ducked his head back down when he noticed Regulus sliding into place next to Snape.

Remus could feel James staring at him, but resisted looking up; it was a better idea just to stare at his plate. The plate, after all, was not searching for answers. "Is something bothering you, Moony?" James asked at last, looking at his friend in concern.

"Nope." Remus studied his pancakes as if they were the most interesting things in the world.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"Because it seems like – look, it's Evans!" James's head snapped up, and he ran his hand through his hair again. He lounged further back in his chair.

Remus glanced up through brown bangs and saw the redhead sitting down with a few friends. "Yep."

"You're kind of being a bit of a conversation damper this morning, Remus," James said, his voice just slightly annoyed, his eyes still trained on Lily.

"Sorry, Prongs."

"'s OK."

Breakfast continued in silence, with James eying Lily, Remus eying his pancakes, and Sirius falling asleep on top of the butter.

Author's Note: I will explain how all of this came to be in later chapters! Don't worry. ;D