Chapter 1 Death

Severus Snape was dead. As sure as the sky was blue and the grass was green. He was dead. That gigantic cobra—python hybrid beast had sunk it's massive fangs into his neck over and over again, and whether he died from blood loss or the venom, he wasn't sure, but at least that Potter boy got his memories. Now though, he had woken up, in a strange place, wearing white robes and white shoes. He couldn't see his underwear but he was sure that was white too. He stood up from his position lying on the ground and looked around, taking in his surroundings. It looked like he was on top of the Astronomy Tower at Hogwarts, rather, a heavenly replica of it. Gazing out over the ramparts to the magnificent black lake and the mountains beyond, he couldn't help the wistful sigh that escaped him. He'd spent many an hour alone here, contemplating his next move over the past year.

Severus wandered to the railing and gazed out over the battlements, inhaling the crisp nighttime air. He looked to the stars and saw them twinkling brighter than ever before, entire galaxies and nebulae visible for his perusal, unlike anything remotely possible on earth. He was brought out of his reverie by the last man who had trusted him, who had asked something of him that many would consider unforgivable. Albus Dumbledore.

"Severus…I hoped…I hoped that I wouldn't see you for quite some time, my old friend," Albus said, a wistful look in his normally twinkling sapphire blue eyes.

He turned around, his obsidian black eyes locking on those of the Headmaster. "Albus. So I guess I am dead then," Severus deadpanned.

The man who looked half a century younger than when Severus had last seen him merely nodded. "That is correct my child, needless to say, this is heaven," Albus said.

His eyes turned misty and his gaze sorrowful, all of a sudden, the serene and eternally happy Albus Dumbledore looked miserable, and downtrodden as he opened his mouth to speak. "Severus I'm so so—"

"Don't!" he bit out harshly, his voice cracking. "Just—don't. I reap what I sow. And I swore to do anything…that night on the hilltop. And so you were within your rights…"

"What you've done…all the people you've helped, Severus…it's…words can't describe what you've done. And I know you don't want to hear this, I know you really don't…but you must. To ease your burdened and damaged soul, my child. I am sorry. For everything you've suffered...no one deserves the life you've lead, least of all you," he said quietly, a lone tear fell from his eyes.

"For what? Do you even know what you're apologizing for? Albus I just died for Merlin's Sake! Couldn't you have given me more time to process that?" Severus replied, his tone strained.

"I had to tell you. And for what I put you through…in the name of the greater good, I am so sorry. For everything Severus. For all of it," he said morosely, although his voice remained steady.

Severus nodded slowly, his gaze still harsh but warmer than it had been. "So what's the deal then? Potter is probably viewing my memories now, and then it's off to die for him isn't it?"

Albus Dumbledore, who had looked tired and sorrowful one moment, perked up in an instant at the mention of the Boy-Who-Lived's dire task ahead of him. The willing end of his own life. "Not exactly," he said slyly, his eyes twinkling with delight and joy.

"What? Potter may be an insufferable brat, an imbecile and a scoundrel, but how can you be happy at the fact you're sending an eighteen year old boy to his death! And you're smiling about it?!"

"So you do care what happens to the boy then?" Albus remarked with an infuriatingly cheery smirk.

Severus scoffed, and rolled his eyes like a petulant child. "No one deserves to die at eighteen. And as much as I dislike him, I would never wish death on a child, and I do know he's suffered, and well…I do feel bad, that his life will end so soon."

"It won't," Albus said plainly.

"What?" Severus rounded on Albus, and stalked towards him. "Th—the Potter boy will live? How?" He asked incredulously.

"I'll be completely honest with you Severus, something I rarely was…when we were alive. But I'd known since fourth year Harry would survive his final encounter. When Tom returned and regained his body, powers and strength once more, he used Harry's blood as a vital ingredient to regenerate his weakened body, Harry's blood flows through his veins. Harry's blood which carried—"

"Lily's blood protection," Severus whispered.

"Indeed," Albus nodded. "So when Tom casts the killing curse on Harry in a little while, I shall go to greet him, and send him back to the mortal world. Lily's blood, in Voldemort, will save Harry. For he shall retain his mother's protection well after it should've expired. He will die. His Horcrux shall cease to be, and he shall return, minus the fragment of Voldemort's soul and hopefully…if all goes to plan, defeat Tom once and for all."

"You knew all this time?" Severus asked, his eyes wide with incredulity.

He nodded solemnly, glancing away from his newly deceased friend. "I did."

Severus stepped closer, his eyes flashing in anger and pain. "And you didn't tell me? You let me die thinking I was sending a—a mere child to his death?"

"It was the only way, Severus." Dumbledore said solemnly. For a moment, what looked like regret flittered across his face. "Believe me when I say that I do wish things could've been different, but I couldn't divulge more than I had…I needed you to play your role perfectly and I couldn't chance Voldemort finding the details of my plan in your head. I wanted to tell you—"

Severus scoffed and folded his arms as he shot Albus a withering glare.

"I did…but there was no other way. Rest assured Severus, that Lily's child will survive this. He will win. And I am sorry that I never told you this while we were alive. Please believe me when I say that."

Severus growled, as he stepped closer to Albus, his face twisted in a wicked scowl. "My Occlumency was better than yours old man! You had no right to keep those secrets from me! I thought I'd failed! That I'd be sending her son to the slaughter, and as I said, no child deserves that fate. Least of all Lily Evanses Son!" He roared, he hadn't even bothered with reigning in his emotions with Occlumency…no, he wanted the old man to feel it.

"And here I was thinking you didn't care."

Severus paled, his face a ghostly white sheet as he staggered away from Albus and collapsed against one of the pillars, sinking to the floor as his body shook. "No, no it can't be…" he stuttered.

"Oh yes it can, Severus. It's been a while hasn't it?"

Lily Marie Evans, now known as Lily Marie Potter nee Evans, the woman of his dreams stepped out from the shadows, looking just as she did when she died at the tender age of twenty one.

She wasn't smiling, but she wasn't scowling or angry either, much like he expected her to be upon their long awaited reunion. Instead, she had a slight smirk on her face, a hint of smugness in her expression at knowing that deep down, Severus did care for her child, at least a little bit, and not just her memory.

"L—Lily…how? Why are you here?" He croaked out, his voice hoarse as he further slumped against the pillar.

"I'll leave you two alone now, I'll be back soon before you begin your next adventure of course." Albus said quietly. He glanced at Severus and flashed him a knowing smile and threw the sullen man a wink before descending the stairs from the Astronomy Tower.

As the old…well, younger old man left; Severus glanced once more at Lily as she stood opposite him, wearing pristine white robes just like his, her hair done up in a neat bun with a few strands falling loose and framing her face like a work of art. She stared evenly at him, and with a brush of Legilimency on the periphery of her mind, he could tell she was experiencing warring emotions. For several minutes, one stood, the other sat, staring at each other from opposite ends of the tower.

Lily finally broke the silence and spoke as she began to walk towards him. "I had to see you Severus. I had to tell you something…something very important," her tone was soft, and caring, and her eyes had softened from their neutral, almost dead look to seem kind and inviting. Those eyes, those goddamned eyes were his undoing, so calm, so peaceful, so…forgiving, just like their replicas he had just seen minutes prior in her son. Lily stopped in front of him and knelt, as she gazed at him appraisingly, yet kindly. Severus Snape did the last thing she expected, something he hadn't done since The Night of Halloween way back in 1981. He cried.

Not loudly, not angrily, just silently. Silent tears dripped from his eyes, staining his immaculate robes but when Lily moved forward, he welcomed her, one of the only two people in the world he'd welcome physical contact from. Her arms wound around him, patting his back and rubbing circles into him in an attempt to soothe his tattered soul and wounded heart.

"Severus I—"

"I'm so sorry Lily," he whispered, his voice hoarse and strained as he tried to choke down the tears.

"I'm sorry for everything…I failed you in every sense of the word, I failed you and I—I never meant for any of this to happen at all! I never meant f—for you to die…for him even, Potter. Your son will live on though…he will survive and defeat him. Albus assured me of it."

"He did," Lily said gently, her fingers stroking his spine. "Thanks to Remus, Sirius, Albus, Cedric, Dobby and of course you Sev. You gave him that chance to defeat him. And for that…I'm grateful. So grateful."

Severus bowed his head, and nodded. Unable to meet her eyes.

"But you also bullied him Severus," she said harshly, "you insulted him, mocked him, humiliated him! How could you do those things when he was just a boy?"

"I have no excuse Lily…and I do not wish to divulge the reasons I did what I did. But looking back now, on how he treated me…in my final moments, I regret that I treated him so."

Lily sighed heavily and pulled back from him. She gave him an appraising look before sitting on the floor across from him, just a few meters away. "You saved the world Sev. You really did, but you were an asshole, a vindictive, mean, bullying, asshole while you did so. You did great things, but you were a terrible, nasty person to be around," she said harshly, her eyes narrowed into angry emerald slits. She stared him down for a moment but the recently deceased man couldn't bear to see those entrancing emerald orbs so mad at him. He flinched away and tried to scurry back against the pillar but was halted by her next statement.

"But you also helped my son live, you helped him along his way on his journey, and now—when I look back. I see that everything that happened was necessary for him to get to where he is today. He saved the world Sev…he defeated Voldemort, but he couldn't have done it without you, and for that…despite all the things you've done, I am grateful, so grateful, as is James and I'm sure Harry is too. You've faced so much, seen it all, been to hell and back so many times Sev…and I'm so proud of you for that and so, so grateful for what you've done in spite of your…frankly, terrible behavior at times."

His eyes widened ever so slightly at her admission and his tears stopped flowing, she was grateful? How? How could she be grateful at the fact that his actions resulted in her death? Her son was an orphan by his hand and—and her life was destroyed too. How could she be grateful?

"How?" He croaked out, not managing to speak more than that for fear of his voice cracking and his tears starting to flow once more.

"Being here…" Lily began, her arms gesturing to their surroundings, "it grants perspective Sev…I am in heaven, and so are you. There is no room for anger, sadness, or hate here. And believe me when I say this…but you've endured enough hate to last a thousand lifetimes, I could never add to that, as you've never deserved all the torment in your life. When you've suffered so much already, I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I heaped more onto it."

She gently grasped his hand and intertwined their fingers. "You sacrificed a lot for Harry…and for the world, despite being a nasty person while doing it…and while that's hardly a crime, I do wish you treated him better. I am still mad…Severus, that you treated my son so…despite him having nothing to do with his father and your feud at school, but in my eyes your other actions far outweigh the way you treated him and that is why I thank you. I thank you because while you were nasty and mean and as I said…an asshole, Harry would be dead without you and the world would literally be lost. So I am eternally grateful as all your actions have lead to this moment today where Harry defeated him. Voldemort is gone, thanks in part to you Sev."

Severus swallowed nervously and nodded. "Lily…I regret, how I treated him…I only saw him as a clone of—of Potter, and in my dying moments he showed me forgiveness that I do not deserve. I loathe Potter…your husband I mean, but I never wished for him to die, and obviously not for you either and I…I regret that I didn't give him a chance Lily. I'm sorry, he's much more like you than I gave him credit for, he—he showed me compassion when he had no reason to. He granted me peace in my dying breaths."

Lily nodded her head slowly although her eyes softened some more. "As I said Severus, there is no room for hate here, only forgiveness and love…I know you were a bully, and a terrible teacher, but your good deeds outweigh all that, you protected the students for a year…you saved Remus and Kingsley and as many people as you could, not to mention Harry innumerable times, and that is why I forgive you. In spite of the horrible way you acted…he would be dead without you, and the world would be lost. You are a hero Sev, and I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that on your own with no one by your side."

"Thank you Lily," Severus said with a bowed head. "Thank you, I—I don't deserve your compassion, but I thank you for—forgiving me," he said solemnly.

Lily squeezed his hand once more and stood, the withdrawal of her calming presence and warmth sending shivers down his spine.

"I trust you two are done for the moment?" Dumbledore said, stepping out of the shadows.

"Of course Albus…but I haven't explained the proposal yet so perhaps it'd be best if you could," Lily replied, glancing at their old Headmaster.

"Explain what?" Severus asked, he hastily wiped his cheeks and jaw with his white robe sleeves, cleansing the tracks of tears and stood up alongside her.

Dumbledore gazed from Severus, then to Lily, and back at Severus again with a serene look on his face. He then cleared his throat and explained the proposal. "The powers that be have an idea," he began slowly. "An idea to send two people back to the land of the living, far in the past, to 1926 actually, with the purpose of preventing the rise of Tom Riddle."

Severus' eyes widened slightly but other than that he gave no visual reaction to the news, although internally, the cogs of his mind were churning. "So you want to send—"

"Not me Severus," he chuckled, his eyes alight with mirth and unburdened. "I have no more power here than you or Lily have. The powers that be want this," he explained.

"So they want to send two people back in time to stop Tom from becoming a Dark Lord…and this relates to me how?"

"You were selected to go, they believe that your cumulative experiences in life, coupled with your temperament, and your knowledge, would be crucial in giving Tom the guidance and upbringing he needs to live a healthy life as a normal, yet extraordinary man." Dumbledore replied, fixing Severus with a piercing look.

He didn't put up his Occlumency shields, he had nothing to hide after all. "So I am to go back in time to stop Tom Riddle before—"

Dumbledore help up his hand, not blackened, and far healthier looking than when Severus had last seen it. "Not stop him Severus, but to raise him, teach him, show him the true meaning of love, and kindness and to mould him into a man that could've been so much more had he been shown those things."

"Love?" Severus spat, his black eyes narrowed into slits. "How can I show him love when the only person I've ever loved will be here. Don't give me that nonsense."

"That's why I'll be going with you…" Severus whirled around to face her, his previously narrowed eyes now wide with shock as a look of confusion spread across his face. To his shock and horror, she giggled.

"Don't look at me like that!" Lily said, struggling to control her laughter. "I was selected too, I'm not going back just for your sake you knucklehead!"

"The powers that be think that you two are the optimal people to send to the past and raise Tom Riddle the right way, and become a powerful wizard for good. Because when I first saw him, I could tell he was abnormally powerful, and gifted."

"He was, if only it was used for good," Severus said solemnly, his head bowed.

"Yes…such raw talent and ability, if channeled in the right direction, it could work wonders for our world, and the muggle world too. The Powers that be see that, and wish to change the fate of this world, save it from the darkness that befell ours, and they believe that you Severus," he said, staring at him, "and you Lily," he continued, shifting his gaze to her, "are the best choices to raise Tom the right way, and save him from himself, and by extension, save us all."

Severus merely nodded at the Headmaster's statement, not knowing what to say and not trusting his mouth to blurt out something stupid and incoherent in the presence of Lily. As the silence stretched on, he opened his mouth to say something, when the sudden presence of calm, warmth and love spread through him. Lily's hand was in his and her presence was soothing his soul in ways he'd never felt.

"I've already agreed to go Severus," Lily said quietly, squeezing his fingers.

He slowly turned to face her, his mouth agape and his skin paled. "Wh—why? Lily your husband…your son, y—you married him! Don't you want to spend the rest of your days…in paradise here with the man you married?" Severus asked, his tone laced with incredulity and shock.

"I've talked with James about this Sev…and we've enjoyed our time together, seventeen years by one another's side in the after-life. But he's moving on and so am I. His time here is up, and he will be reborn soon. My time here is not up…too many regrets, too many—"

"Regrets?" Severus asked quietly.

"Yes," she looked up from her lap, although tears brimmed in her eyes when she met his gaze. "I regret the way things ended between us Sev…I could've saved you and I regret that I didn't. I also regret how my son was tormented for ten years at my Sister's hands, I regret how I couldn't raise him myself and give him the love he deserves, in a life that was mostly devoid of it. I regret not giving you another chance…and not living a full life with you…or James, I regret so much and when this opportunity came around to live again…with all my memories and knowledge accrued from my past life, how could I pass that up?"

"W—with me? You regret what happened with us?"

"I do, and while your…misdeeds and actions towards the dark far outweigh mine, I know I could've stopped you from following the path you've tread and I regret not giving one last chance…an ultimatum to change your ways. My time here as made me realize, that when we split apart, you had nothing but the darkness to call home. And I am sorry for giving up on you Sev…I could've done it. I could've saved you…spared you a life time of grief."

Severus paled some more, his face as white as his robes as he responded in a high-pitched squeak. "B—but I did terrible things Lily, how? How can you absolve me of that? I killed Albus…I joined Voldemort, you can't absolve me of my sins Lily and believe me I have plenty."

"I don't absolve you!" Lily cried, "I don't absolve you of what you did Severus! Because for a time, you were evil and you did do terrible things! But I do recognize now, with all that I've learned in my time here that it could have all been prevented had I been a little more forgiving!"

Severus shook his head, dispelling the notion that she could have saved him from his own poor choices. "I was rotten Lily, you couldn't have saved me, I was rotten to my core, I wanted to join him and I didn't listen to you and I—I should've heeded your warnings but I was a fool, an idiot, an—"

"Shut up Severus and listen to me," Lily interrupted. "That night, by the portrait hole. If I were to give you a choice, not a hint…or a suggestion, but a firm choice. Me or the Death Eaters, what would you choose? There would be no middle ground on this, no weaseling your way out of it, them or me, that's it. What would you choose?" She asked with a raised brow.

"You," he blurted out. As if it were the most obvious choice in the world.

"What would your sixteen year-old self have chosen?"

"You."

"So you see Severus…" Lily said gently, she squeezed his fingers as her emerald eyes twinkled brighter than stars. "I could've done that, and it would spared not only you a lifetime of pain…but my son, myself, even James. James loves me Sev…he loves me so much but—"

He scowled and made to reply but Lily's raised hand silenced him. "But he knows that he could love another, he could fall for another woman, his heart is mine, and mine is his, but…he knows that it could have easily belonged to another had circumstances been…different."

"But you," she stepped closer and lifted his chin with the gentlest of touches, "you can't. Your heart is mine and mine alone, and I've known that for a long time now, watching your life," she murmured, her angelic voice a balm on his tattered soul. Her words lifting years upon years of burdens heaped upon him.

He wanted to cry but he couldn't, not now, he willed the tears to remain internal as a watery sheen obscured his eyes and blurred his vision. His heart thudded loudly in his chest and pounded in his ears as Lily placed her palm over his frantically beating heart.

"I've seen what's in here Sev, your heart, your soul, every single inch of you, good and bad" Lily said gently, drumming her fingers on his chest. Her fingers continued tapping on his chest as she tilted her head upwards and set her emerald eyes upon his onyx ones.

"I've seen all it has to offer, and I know that you can't love another, even if you wanted to…and I'd be lying if I said that I have never loved you."

That did it, the tears burst forth and he was a child once more, crying and sobbing incessantly as he leaned on the pillar for support.

"I regret a lot Severus, I regret not living a full life with my son, Harry, not living a life with James…and you. I regret not being there for you, or for Harry, and while I found happiness, and love, no matter how fleeting, I am sorry that you never found it yourself. A part of my heart has always belonged to you…and I regret not saving you most of all, when I now know that I could have. A little more common sense on your part…and empathy and cunning on mine…and you would've been spared this horrible life you've lead Sev. You could've found happiness with the only one you could ever love."

He collapsed to the ground in a heap, a sobbing mess as Lily sunk down beside him and held him. She gently placed his head in her lap and as he cried, she stroked his hair consolingly. "But we have a chance to change that…James is going soon anyways, his regrets, and tethers to his past life are dwindling, and he will be leaving soon. I have no such luck, as my regrets far outweigh his in number and strength. So how could I not take this chance? To go back, to save you, save Harry, James, everyone, to live once more with you by my side. How could I not take that chance when for the longest time, that's all I've ever wanted?"

"Y—you always had a bleeding heart Lily," he choked out, a shallow smile gracing his face as tears spilled out of his eyes and drenched his pallid cheeks.

She smiled and nodded. "As I've been told, but I want this chance. If it weren't for this, I wouldn't be leaving any time soon and I've made peace with my decision. And I want you with me."

Severus wiped his tears away and glanced up at her. "Neither of us had the life we deserved Sev. Some of the pain we suffered was…self inflicted, a lot of it not. And I regret so much about you and James…and of course Harry and I know you do too. So I want to take this chance, to not just…have a life again, but to save everyone. A chance for us to give Tom a home he needs, to nurture him and guide him and make something special between us."

"I'll do it," he whispered.

"What?" Lily asked, straining her ears to hear him.

"I'll do it. I'll—I'll go with you," he said more loudly.

"Thank you," she murmured, "you won't regret this Sev, I promise you that. This'll be the second chance we've always dreamed of."

"Splendid!" Albus exclaimed, clasping his hands together excitedly.

For a time, Severus and Lily had forgotten he was there, and they snapped out of their reverie and focused their eyes on him as he walked towards them.

"Well, there's no time like the present is there? So if you're ready—"

"Wait now? You want to send us back now?"

"Not quite, but in a few minutes yes. There's one more person for you to meet Severus, so wait just a moment my boy. Eileen? Can you come here please?"

Severus' black eyes flew to the staircase and moments later, his mother, whom he hadn't seen in over twenty years ascended the stairs and met his gaze.

"Severus," she said quietly as she reached the top step of the tower.

"Mother," he said softly, his voice as quiet as the whistling breeze, exacerbating the nighttime chill. "…it's been so long."

She nodded gracefully. "It has, and I'm so sorry I couldn't—"

"Ma, please, I know you did what you could…I don't blame you, really. I don't." He said stiffly, as if he were expecting this.

"But we ruined you Severus…I'm so sorry…for everything," the tears sprung forth from her obsidian black eyes that mirrored her son's.

He walked towards her and embraced the smaller woman in a hug, his own eyes misting over as he at last had the goodbye he needed with her, a goodbye he lacked in the mortal world when she died mid-way through his seventh year.

"F—father, where is he?" He asked.

"He's—he's not coming Severus…he's serving his penance and wasn't excused for your…arrival. But he wants you to know that—that he regrets all of it, he's seen what you've done and he's so glad you were the man he wasn't. And he wants you to know that—that he feels he deserves nothing less than what he's gotten here."

Severus nodded tightly but didn't say anything more. his arms loosened from Eileen and he stepped away. She had tears in her eyes but a smile that was brighter than any he had ever seen in their eighteen years together.

"Live a happy life my Princeling, live a life you deserve above all others. I'm so sorry I didn't do enough to—to help you, but you more than anyone else deserves this chance. Take it…and run with it. Don't look back," Eileen whispered.

"W—will I see you again?" He asked, his voice trembling slightly.

"You will. I am alive in the time you are going back to. Don't forget that. And when you pass on, hopefully well over a hundred years from your rebirth, I shall be here waiting for you my son," she said.

Severus smiled and nodded, bowing his head as Lily came to stand beside him.

"Now go—" she ordered firmly her eyes hardened like onyxes. "Go and don't look back. Go and save us…but most of all, save yourself, live a life that you above all others deserve," she continued, her tone softening.

"I will," he choked out, "I will mother, I swear it. I—I love you," he said with as much conviction as he could muster.

She nodded and smiled before planting one last kiss of goodbye on the crown of his forehead and she replied with the words he always wanted to hear, but were far and few between. "I love you too Severus."

"If you're ready, you will now be sent back to November Fifteenth 1926. Merope Gaunt, is at the moment, begging on the streets of Diagon Alley, heavily pregnant with Tom. You will be reborn in Cokeworth at noon and I suggest you make your way to London shortly thereafter."

"We will Albus," Lily replied confidently, her green eyes sharp with determination.

"Good," he reached inside his robe pocket and withdrew an ornate looking Time-turner. "This, contrary to what you might think is not a Time-turner, but an inter-universal port-key. When you are both ready, place your hands on it for three seconds and you will be sent on your way."

He set the object down on a table and bowed his head. "Good luck to you both, Lily, Severus. I will pray for your success, and hope for all our sake's this endeavor will pay off."

"It will," Severus said assuredly.

They walked hand in hand to the table and turned to face Albus and then Eileen, they both nodded resolutely and smiled.

"Thank you. Both of you," Severus said, glancing at them in turn.

Without another word, but a shared nod between them, they both placed their free hands on the time turner and locked their intertwined fingers that much tighter as the familiar pull from their navel going outwards took hold. Three seconds later, they were gone.