I found myself slumped against the table of my balcony, lazily staring at the melancholy, clouded night sky. God knows how long I had left myself in this unsightly position, doing nothing of worth. Instead I simply watched the dark storm clouds roll by, finding their repetitive nature as one of the few things that could soothe my wounds. The night was always one of the few things I could confide in.

It was hard to say how much time passed-I really didn't care. The ever-familiar gnaw of hunger I fought to rid myself of every night made it's debut once again, but I found myself unphased by it. I felt the welcome test of blood tempt my lips, yet I still had no intent quenching that thirst, simply choosing to continue idly watching the sky. The nightly hunts were boring anyway, there was little entertainment to be had in being stuck with victims who will never fight back.

Perhaps it'd be for the best if I wasted away.

Hours past, and as I expected in the back of my head, I heard the light of footsteps of an uninvited guest. I had told her not come, but I knew well she'd be apathetic to that command, worrying herself silly over my wellbeing like she always does. This time, however, I wasn't sure how I would be able to face her. The horrible stew of feelings, upon seeing her shining, perfect silver hair, her ageless face , her eloquent dress..having to see such beauty knowing that...

You know it's an inevitable. Stop trying to hold on.

"I brought you the usual blood-tea, so you won't be famished tonight. I'll be out of your hair right away," Sakuya declared as she shakily set up the tea on the table, and almost instantly began making her way back into the mansion. I immediately took notice of the fact that her voice lacked the eloquence that usually rang through it, though I thought not to make note of it.

"Thanks," I declared feebly and informally. Perhaps knowing she'd likely get very little else out of me, the maid quickly went back on her way.

Yet, somehow, I simply couldn't stand the thought of not seeing her for the remainder of the long, cold night. It was silly, but something inside me just had to make everything harder. I mustered up what little strength and will I still had, and yet, it still came out as merely a plea.

"Sakuya, please stay."

The woman spinned around almost immediately, and the dreary expression on her face seemed to partially leave. She seated herself across from me as always, waiting to be commanded to be speak as she usually did. I turned my attention away from the sky to the woman in front of me, taking in her features, her neutral yet optimistic expression...I wanted to take refugee in her beauty and her kindness, but everything inside of me wanted to cry over the inevitable grief instead.

What made you deserve someone who cared so much anyway?

The two of us sat there together for hours more. It became increasingly difficult to keep my feelings inside, as I felt fresh tears paint the front of my face. Eventually, I put my head down and just cried my eyes out, making myself look as pathetic as I could possibly manage to as I bawled my eyes out over seemingly nothing. I didn't care what anyone thought about me at that moment, I didn't have any capacity to.

It was then that I felt her cold, yet welcoming hands rub a tissue around my face, using her other arm to softly pull me into a hug against her chest. "Don't cry, mistress..." she uttered repeatedly, in the softest, most comforting voice the woman could possibly manage. I kept screaming and crying for god knows how long, yet she was perfectly patient for all of it.

She went back to her seat once my tantrum subsided, and I was able to form coherent sentences. Yet, her being so kind to me..It made something in me snap. I could never lose such a beautiful presence as a part of my life, I simply had to say it.

I began to speak up-a strained, feeble tone that was embarrassing in comparison to my usual grandeur, but it was simply the best I could do.

"Sakuya...please stay with me."

The maid missed the deeper implication of my words, clearly suppressing a slight confusion on her face. "I would never leave you, you know that," she said in an attempt at comfort.

I simply sighed, knowing she meant those words in full earnestly, but they simply weren't true as she didn't have a choice in the matter.

"No, Sakuya, I...I need you to stay with me. I couldn't handle you leaving in any capacity, it would destroy me. I love you too much to see you go." Though using the words of a demand, I simply ended up giving a her a strained, pathetic plea that would elicit sympathy from even the cruelest of tyrants.

For one of the few times I had been with her, I saw her frown. Her face was more distressed than I'd ever seen it, and it stung like a dagger to know I had hurt her so fast.

"Mistress, I...you know I cannot do such a thing."

"Do I?" I complained in vain. "We never discussed the possibility in great length. Why are you so opposed to the idea?" I cursed myself for raising my voice, knowing I had no intent to express malice towards her.

"Mistress, I...I..I simply can't."

"Why?!" I demanded, choking a sob and feeling tears start to stream off of my face again. "I can't...I can't...I can't lose you!" I choked out with strained gasps as I slammed my first my fist against the table, resuming my pathetic sobbing from earlier.

"I need you here!" I yelled frantically. "You can't just...die! I couldnt..I couldn't handle that! Don't you understand that?!"

Sakuya's voice took on more stern of a tone than I had ever heard, and I was immediately taken aback as she abandoned her usual submissiveness just for that moment. I felt myself shiver as her words stuck a knife through my heart, and futily reminded me of how foolish I was being. "Mistress. I have no intent of abandoning what little humanity I've still clung to. If you cannot cope with that, that is your burden to bare, because I have no intent on changing that. "

My breathing stammered and I choked my words...I could barely speak. I felt my hands begin to clutch together, my mouth clamping, as I lost sense of any sort of rationality. I wanted to tell her she had to, tell her she had no choice because I was above her, but my mind was swarming with incomprehensible thoughts and feelings, and I knew a part of me deep inside held me back from being so horrible.

Instead, I pawed through different phrases and thoughts in the goal of not making a fool of myself, but whatever preparation I did, it..wasn't enough.

"Sakuya..is it really such a painful experience to be with me that having an escape appeals to you? Is death comforting to you as an eventual escape?" I in no way had the energy to give one of my usual grandiose speeches, but the words hurt just as much as they always would.

I'm such an idiot.

Tears splashed in her eyes, and she noticeably struggled to suppress her voice breaking.

"M..mistress...you know that's not true, I just.."

"Then why won't you stay with me?"

"Why don't you...why don't you understand you just..can't always get what you want?!"

I just looked at her. Never would I have expected the woman who spent so long kissing the ground I walk on to say such things to me, leaving me unbelievably shocked and bewildered.

Following up, she gave me a somber chuckle-the most expressive I had ever seen her up to that point. "It's not really about 'love' is it? You're simply worried about not having someone to do all of you're chores anymore, aren't you? Have you become so sedimentary that the thought terrifies you?"

My hands shook, it was so bewildering to see her behave this way that I couldn't help but have to shake away the idea that this was all a particularly frightening nightmare. Every little bit of rationale I had was drained by such incredibly strong words, and all I could think to do was to stand my ground.

"You never complained about it before, did you?! You could've left anytime you wanted, I wouldn't want you here if you didn't want to be here!"

"You know there's no truth to that, Remilia! You would've sucked me dry and thrown me in a ditch the moment I told you I don't want to do this anymore!"

I slammed my fist on the table, damaging the glass, as my voice seemed to finally regain the energy I was known for. "Is that what you think of me?! That I care that little about everyone around me?!"

"If the shoe fits, mistress."

"I DIDN'T HAVE TO SPARE YOUR LIFE!"

She went dead silent.

Her eyelids lowered and she returned to her usual neutral expression.

After an agonizing period that felt like years, she finally spoke up once again. Her voice had returned to it's usual cold, unbiased tone, but instead of being comforting, it sent shivers through my spine.

"If I am allowed to leave, I will leave. Goodbye, mistress."

"Fine! GO! I'll be just fine by myself!" I shouted angrily as she turned around and walked out the door, as calmly and gracefully as ever.

"You're probably better off..." I mumbled under my breathe, long after she was out the door.

And just like that, she's gone.

What a worthless waste of life you are. You know you wish she won that fight.