Alright, in the spirit of keeping things nice and simple, I'll do this quickly. This is my first fanfiction to date and is about a Naruto with a penchant towards explosions and fuinjutsu. That's it. I don't plan on adding harems and I'll try not to make him too overpowered. Also expect a lot of explicit language. And tropes more abundant than STDs at a cheap brothel.
Disclaimer, I own nothing of this story except for whatever the hell I added.
Story go!
Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, a splendid place by any accounts. A place where, apart from the occasional bijuu attack and threats of war, peace and tranquility reign supreme. Where both shinobi and civilians can rest and call home. It is a village surrounded by natural beauty and splendor. Truly, an area of serenity, of peace, and quiet...
That was quickly shattered by the raucous laughs of a certain blond haired boy, clad in an atrocious orange jumpsuit, sandals and a pair of goggles. With sunshine blond hair, tanned skin and whisker-like marks on his face, Naruto Uzumaki wasn't a person one would be likely to forget, partly because the moment they did, they'd find themselves, and all whom they loved, pranked to kingdom come. This coupled with his loud, brash personality, and you had a figure that, if one was to take the time to find someone that didn't want to rip out the boy's intestines and use them as an impromptu fiddle, would be most likely described as "Someone who thinks with his fists rather than his head".
We currently find this young maverick running from a group of less-than-pleased shinobi.
"Naruto Uzumaki! Stop in the name of the Hokage, you must take responsibility for your actions!"
"You'll never take me alive, you gutless bastards! You're just mad that you don't have what it takes to do what I did!"
Now one may ask a lot of questions on the situation; Why are a group of chunin-level shinobi chasing the blond? Why do they smell like the lavatory of the T&I department after burrito Wednesday? How is the boy evading them? Why did my wife leave me? All very valid questions. The reason why Naruto was able to outpace his opponents was because the young lad had the fucking stamina of a rabbit during mating season.
"Why?" you may ponder. Well, the answer is quite simple; 12 years ago, on October 10th, during the reign of the Yondaime Hokage, shit hit the fan. Kushina Uzumaki, wife of the Yondaime Hokage, and jinchuriki, meaning power of human sacrifice, of the Kyuubi no Yoko, a wonderful little ball of fur with the ability to lay waste to an entire ninja village in a single instant, causing the deaths of hundreds, crippling scores of others, and leaving countless children orphans, gave birth to a bundle of energy now known to the world as Naruto.
On that day, a masked man took Naruto hostage, unsealed the Kyuubi, and death came upon Konohagakure like a call from your stepmother, completely unexpected and utterly tragic. Stuff happened, numerous died, all those wonderful things, but in the end, Konoha prevailed. The Yondaime ultimately resealed the Demon Fox into his newborn son at the cost of his own life, leaving his son a pariah and himself hailed as a hero.
The consequences from the sealing, apart from the sick sealing array that appeared when Naruto channeled chakra, were both good and bad. On one side, Naruto not only gained tremendous healing powers,but also a fucking metric ton of chakra, the ability to detect negative emotions, and his legendary stamina. On the other hand, he also garnered the hate of almost the entirety of the population of Konoha, dirt poor chakra control and the ever-hanging threat that he may go berserk from channeling the youkai of the Kyuubi.
But enough about history, let's get back to our blond protagonist, who was currently demonstrating the most effective of ninja techniques, hiding.
"Take that you jackasses! Everyone falls for my Uzumaki no Jutsu : Hidden Camouflage Tarp!" Naruto exclaimed, dropping a large piece of cloth painted like the fence behind him shortly after the shinobi rushed past his hiding spot.
"Naruto!" a voice barked out, " What in the hell do you think you're doing outside of class?"
"Iruka-sensei! I found you!" came the exuberant reply.
"You idiot! It was I who found you!" the now, newly named Iruka-sensei, a tall, tanned man with a scar adorning his nose, and a hairdo reminiscent to a certain aquatic mammal, roared. Iruka was a chunin-level shinobi and an instructor at the Ninja Academy. He was said to be the only person who could easily find Naruto, not a small task considering that the Hokage sometimes couldn't find him.
"Eh, same thing... Say, you're not going to drag me back into that hellhole are you? 'Cause if you do, it'll be with me kicking and screaming all the way!"
"Listen here, you hard-headed, stubborn buffoon!" it was clear that the young man was straining not to use more... delicate words to address his wayward student and express his frustrations, "Today is the mock-examinations for next week's final shinobi exam, and with the way you're headed, you're bound to fail!"
"To hell with the exams! Someone with my level of awesome doesn't need any test to see if they're worthy! I'm the future Hokage, and no Hokage would take such a dumb test!" came the, once again, all too positive reply.
"Naruto..."
"Yes, Sensei?"
"How in the world do you plan on becoming Hokage, if you're not even a goddamn genin?!" screamed the now livid teacher.
"Iruka, you're turning into such a lovely shade of puce. You might want to be careful, though, you could burst a blood vessel."
"What in th- Stop trying to change the subject! You are coming with me back to the Academy to participate in the Taijutsu exam, and then you're going straight to the Hokage for what you did!"
"Like hell I am! Naruto, out!" preparing to jump away, our favourite idiot paused for a second to flip a peace sign to his sensei, a fatal mistake.
"Oh no you don't!"-Iruka quickly jumped the maelstrom before he could escape- "Now come along, you have a test to take," he said, dragging the struggling blond the long trek back to the Academy.
"Help!" hollered the blond who, true to his word, screamed and kicked and thrashed all the way back, " I'm being oppressed! I have human rights! I demand to see my lawyer! Iruka! You f-" his following statements were drowned off as he was unceremoniously carried off into the horizon. His pleas, however, heard from all around Konohagakure, were like music to the villagers ears, who basked in the blond's worsening torment.
And done! This is my first foray into fanfiction territory, so please be gentle. Leave a review, don't, print this chapter out and furiously waggle your kunai to it, I don't care. (Although criticisms and all are kindly accepted). This chapter was on the short side because I only wanted to try my hand at this kind of thing. Author, out!