Chapter Seven
Not Holding Back
Hermione sat at the end of the Slytherin house table indulging in the fluffy waffles that had been provided for breakfast that morning. While she ate, she slowly worked her way through replying to her correspondences from the morning prior, penning an additional letter to Dorian detailing how her first lesson with McGonagall had gone. He hadn't asked her to tell him of the only witch he had ever loved before she left for school but she had a hunch that even though it was a mundane rambling of how her class had gone with the Transfiguration Mistress, he would welcome any details of his Minnie.
Adding Dorian's letter to the stack that held Rodolphus and her father's missives, she reviewed her letter to Bellatrix. Her eyes sped across the crepe colored ink she favored for her pearlescent stationery as she checked for the third time that her details about Lily Evans had been vague enough to keep her identity anonymous. Not trusting that she had succeeded, she incinerated the entire letter and went to start again. Dipping her quill in the ink, she took a sip of yet another new blend of tea, grimacing as she confirmed it to be as awful as the last half dozen she had tried.
Grabbing Rodolphus's letter, she broke the seal and unfolded it to add a beseeching postscript. For good measure, she tapped her wand on the page and murmured the charm Antonin had taught her over the summer that allowed her to speak the contents of the letter much like a Howler but without the screeching.
"Rodolphus, I am begging you," she stressed, holding the paper up to her mouth. "If you have any love for me in your heart, any at all , you will send me coffee! I tried to drink daddy's leaf water but it tastes like arse and I refuse to do it any longer. It doesn't even have to be the beans from that little shop Ksamil that I loved going to. I mean unless of course, you feel like spoiling me since I could potentially be your wife before the year's end," she laughed.
Seeing Rabastan and Regulus from the corner of her eye at the end of the table, she smiled brightly at them and scooted herself down the bench so they could both sit beside her as she continued her plea, a nervous and excited flutter settling into her stomach as Regulus's thigh pressed against hers.
"I miss you and I hope that you can maybe come to one of your brother's games or a village weekend so I can see you," she finished, loudly kissing the air so it would appear with her letter before adding, "Seriously though Roddy, I need coffee."
Refolding the pages of her letter, she melted the broken wax seal till it pooled on the pages again and pushed her stamp into the tacky liquid, wiggling it free after the design of her personal seal had set. Placing it with the others, she removed her stationery from the table and packed it back into her purse.
Too shy to face Regulus as their kiss from the night before played over in her head, Hermione turned to Rabastan to greet him first. Fully seeing him in the clingy green and silver jumper he wore as a part of his quidditch uniform, her mouth went dry prompting her to reach for the first cup she could. The horrid taste of the tea didn't even register on her taste buds as she took a gulp, her face heating as she felt her awkwardness settling in.
After scanning the surface of his thoughts, she had begged Regulus to kiss her the night before. She hadn't realized how desperately she needed him to act on the desire he obviously felt till his mind all but screamed at her to allow him to do so. It had been a particular kind of hell that afternoon sitting in Astronomy with Lily Evans behind her and Eloise, postulating through most of the class about why Evan and Severus had attached themselves so quickly to her. On a dispassionate level, she could recognize the words for what they were, a petty attempt to get a rise out of her though it gave an auditable voice to her insecurities about her current situation. Despite that, she had managed to keep her cool for the duration of the class, her facade only cracking once they were dismissed.
She hadn't paid much attention to Evan's disbelieving words that morning but when Lily had strolled out of the classroom and patted Severus's chest with an overtly flirtatious greeting it had become abundantly clear. Even she wasn't so inexperienced with social behaviors to have needed it spelled out as loudly as it was. While the redhead was currently with Potter, she and Severus had a history and it didn't appear to be resolved. Not thinking she could handle having to fake her way through polite dinner conversation with him and the others, she had bolted like a coward for the hidden room her father had told her about, so when Regulus had shown up she hadn't wanted to let him in but assumed she at least owed the courtesy to Eloise of having someone tell her where she had gone.
What she had not been expecting was for him to look at her with such an unguarded show of lust and worship, nor had she expected to feel such a burning desire to have him touch her. However, having such obvious proof of his attraction to her had gone so much further than words ever could towards soothing her. When his lips had landed on hers, kissing her like a man starved for a few glorious seconds before he reined himself in to allow her to lead, it had felt like something inside her snapped and the faint traces of arousal she struggled to feel in the past had swelled and burst forth from within her.
Now feeling that same warmth bubble to life inside of her as she looked at Rabastan and his scrutinizing gaze she felt guilty. She had held his hand along with Regulus's last night without a second thought but that was innocent compared to the overwhelming urge she felt to kiss him till the tension left his face and his body relaxed. Regulus had said they each wanted her time and attention but she didn't think it would feel right to flit between them, no matter how much she also wanted their attention.
Screwing her eyes shut, Hermione went to look at anything in the hall that wasn't him or Regulus only for his hand to come out and gently bring her face back to his.
"Open your eyes, Hermione," he softly commanded.
Shaking her head, she first felt his hand leave her face, then the weight on the bench change as he and Regulus shifted, the action making her curious enough to comply. Blinking her eyes open, she saw that he had moved closer to her and now straddled the bench while from her other side she could feel the heat of Regulus's chest against her arm and the press of the inside of his thigh against her own.
"People can see," she murmured, though she knew the hall was nearly empty given the early hour on a Saturday.
"So let them see," Regulus replied beside her ear, his breath tickling her skin.
"Unless of course, you're concerned by what my brother would think if he knew?" Rabastan challenged the multitude of colors that made up his hazel eyes boring into her in such a way that made her reflexively shut her mind. "What's going on between you and my brother?"
"Nothing," she croaked out, startling at the light touches to each of her knees. Clearing her throat, she repeated more firmly, "Nothing. Rodolphus is a friend, nothing more."
"So he's not going to care if say... I kiss you?" Rabastan asked her, leaning in closer as the hand on her moved from her knee to the bottom of her thigh.
Hermione began to close the gap between them, her eyes fixated on the dark pink color of his full lips when she felt the ghost of Regulus's mouth near her neck making her jerk back and into him. Feeling like her head had fogged over with lust, she pushed their hands from her legs severing their contact with her. How desperately she needed space must have shown clearly to them because the moment she had removed their touch, Regulus and Rabastan instantly backed away from her, making them each all the more attractive to her.
Well, that's not helping. Why can't one of them act like an entitled brute? That would make this whole situation easier.
Looking first at Regulus, then at Rabastan, she absently spoke, "I meant what I said, Rodolphus and I are friends. He's my only friend-"
"Hey, I take offense to that! If he's your only friend, what am I?" Eloise demanded in mock outrage, giving her a sly wink.
Hermione could feel her body sag with relief as Eloise sat down with her brother and Severus taking a place to her right, easily drawing Regulus and Rabastan's attention away from her. She knew she couldn't avoid it forever, but she wasn't entirely sure she knew how to properly address and articulate her dilemma to them. Regulus had said she would effectively be dating the four of them at once, but she wasn't sure how it was supposed to work. The very idea of any of them being involved with someone else while seeing her made an irrational jealousy flare within her and she couldn't very well expect them to be wholly committed to her while she worked her way through them.
Even if she could see each of them at the same time, how was it even supposed to work? Was she to just go from kissing Regulus one night to Rabastan the following morning and Merlin only knew who by dinner? What if she felt she could make those physical steps with one but not another? Would the potential for varying levels of progression drive a wedge between them all?
"Hermione," Eloise said, snapping her from her spiraling thoughts. "You are thinking way too hard for a Saturday morning."
"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."
"Obviously," she laughed. "Do what I do when I hit a block in research: I just put it away and do something mindless for a few hours. Usually, the time away from the problem helps me to see it in a new, less conflicting light. The boys are having quidditch tryouts this morning, that'll be plenty mind-numbing and if you're lucky you may even get a few laughs in. If nothing else, you'll get to witness firsthand Reggie begging Evan to rejoin the team which is always entertaining."
Not having anything to refute the idea with and looking forward to time with Eloise without the four wizards who were becoming the bane of her existence around, she said, "Why not?"
"Perfect! You can tell me all about it this afternoon."
"Wait, you're not going?" She asked in a mild panic, noticing for the first time that Evan and Severus were both dressed to be outside.
Eloise's lips scrunched to the side as she pouted, "No, I have to have a meeting about my cross-disciplinary project and this morning was the only time all my professors and the Headmaster could arrange for it to happen. I'm studying werewolves-"
"Despite my best efforts at telling her it was too dangerous," Evan grumbled, making his sister throw a piece of her muffin at his head.
"Anyways," she said, dramatically resuming her explanation. "I'm studying werewolves and want to be able to get practical first-hand knowledge of them but to do that I need to actually be able to meet one.
"We know how witches and wizards become werewolves and we know the side effects and the signs of spotting one, but I want to know why the beast and the man cannot peacefully coexist. Why their shifting is isolated to only the full moon; how it affects their magical abilities since they are classified as dark creatures, does it warp them to be predisposed to dark magic or make them more proficient with it, or are they simply classified because of the animalistic state they are forced into.
"Anyways I find them fascinating and it's not like Hogwarts has any werewolves just walking the corridors for me to interview, so I need the professors to set up interviews for me, and with how secretive the packs are, it could take some time."
At her words, Severus started choking, his face rapidly turning blue as he struggled to breathe.
"Fuck!" Evan shouted, slapping his back while Rabastan pulled out his wand and cast several spells to clear his airway to no avail.
His hands began to claw at his throat as though he were trying to remove an unseen physical force that was cutting off his air supply. On a hunch she waved Rabastan's wand off and leaned across the table, cupping his face in her hands.
"Keep your eyes on me," she said softly, tucking a strand of hair back from his face. "It's just the curse, you aren't really suffocating. It only wants you to think you are so you won't speak. I know it's hard because everything in your body is telling you that you can't breathe but you can. You do not have to pass out for the gag to pass. You just have to fight the panic and release the thoughts associated with it, okay? Just keep your eyes on me and focus on my voice."
Hermione kept Severus's face cupped in her hands, her eyes never leaving his as she stroked her thumb over his cheekbones and continually tucked the errant strand of hair back from his face. Her voice remained soft and easy as she talked to him through his breathing, reminding him that everything he felt was manufactured and that with how strong his mind was he could beat it.
After several moments, the alarming color finally started to recede and his smooth alabaster coloring returned. Severus's breath first came back to him in heavy gulps and pants as the panic still clung to him, his lungs no doubt burning despite never having been in real danger. As his breath started to truly even out, Hermione went to remove her hands from him, only for one of his to come up and rest over her own to keep her there as he continued to stare at her.
"Thank you," he whispered, turning his face to kiss the palm of her hand before releasing his hold on her.
Hermione traced her thumb over his cheek one last time as she slowly let go of him. Wanting to prolong their contact, she trailed her fingers down his neck till she reached the collar of his shirt. Reluctantly she pulled her hands back from him and went to sit back on the bench, noticing that the other three and Eloise were steadfastly ignoring them, offering what privacy they could while they continued to eat breakfast. She hovered over her seat for a moment, her eyes still trained on Severus as she warred with herself on what to do before finally letting out a defeated huff as she dropped onto the seat.
"Well," Eloise announced with a smirk. "As much as I would love to stay and watch all of this play out," she said, gesturing to the four of them, "I have to make my way to the Headmaster's office. See you all at lunch, yes?"
Coming around to Hermione, Eloise shooed Rabastan away from her side as she leaned into her ear and whispered, "When all this tension between the five of you finally breaks, I want all the details. Minus my brother, for the love of Salazar gloss over him, but spare no detail about the others."
As Eloise flounced out of the Great Hall, Rabastan stood up as well, nudging Regulus on the shoulder.
"We should have been down there by now, people are already heading out to the pitch and we still need to set up. Evan, just know we both will be working on you when you get out there. There's no way you can say no once you see who all has signed up," Rabastan threatened. Leaning down to Hermione, he kissed her forehead and added, "This is your house's pride we're talking about, in order to kick Gryffindor's arse this year we need him."
"Is he really that good?" Hermione asked Severus the only other impartial observer, trying not to laugh out how seriously they were taking the game.
Rubbing his forehead, he reluctantly nodded, "Yeah... Fifth year we lost spectacularly but it was fine because Gryffindor did too with Black suspended and later Potter. Last year, Evan didn't return to the team and we got our arses handed to us by everyone, including Ravenclaw."
"Hold on, hold on," Evan interrupted, waving off Severus's words. "You all are neglecting to tell her that Reggie was scouted last year and has conditional offers to four teams as a starting seeker. He's fast enough that it doesn't really matter who's in the post."
"You and I both know that's a lie otherwise we wouldn't have lost to Gryffindor," Regulus grumbled, glaring down the hall to where his brother and his friends were sitting down for breakfast.
"Seriously Reg, we're late and need to get down there," Rabastan urged.
"Fine," Regulus groaned. "Let's go see the disaster we'll be working with this season."
Shortly after they left, Evan and Severus finished eating and the three of them headed down to the pitch. As they climbed up the stairs that led to the stands, the echo of a high pitched whistle rang out, quickly followed by the sound of whooshing brooms.
Coming out to a section that put them centered with the field, Hermione walked down to the front rows and took a seat that put her opposite Regulus and Rabastan who were on their brooms critically observing.
"What should they be looking for?" She asked, watching groups of three speed the length of the pitch while tossing quaffles between them. Seeing one of them fumble and drop the red leather ball, she added, "Besides someone that can maintain control."
Evan laughed as he sat down next to her. From behind, Severus's long legs bracketed her, nearly making her chin rest on his thigh while she was turned to face Evan. Looking back at him, she was met with his unaffected stare for a moment that tempted her to try his mind again. With a smirk as though he knew exactly what she wanted to do, he looked above her and out to the pitch, grimacing at whatever he saw.
"Someone who can keep control of the quaffle is a plus but not necessary right now. They can learn those skills by running through the practice drills. What Reggie needs is to find two chasers who have enough agility to keep up with Rab's maneuvers. A lot of things can be taught but the instinctual way he flies isn't one of them and they need players who can easily follow and adjust with his changing plays," he explained.
To puncture his words, two of the groups nearly collided with each other while running a figure eight, Rabastan's words turning colorful as he slashed his hand through the air, directing them to the ground and off the field.
"As for the beaters," Evan continued, pointing down to the grass where several players were swinging bats in a series of exercises to loosen their muscles before mounting their brooms. "They need someone with a lot of power. That tiny second year over there won't be able to go head to head with Black without being knocked fifty feet from the air to the unforgiving ground the moment that Hooch starts the game, but he will make a good alternate and can probably start in a year or two once he packs on some muscle. But the Bulstrode cousin over there," he said, directing her attention to the massive mountain of a wizard standing alone. "At fourteen he's already built like a fucking barge and if you notice he moves the bat from hand to hand as he feigns attacking players. Having a switch hitter is a secret weapon any team would kill for and makes him a guaranteed asset to the team."
She watched as Evan waved two fingers in the air to single Regulus. A moment later he zoomed across the pitch grabbing the small golden snitch before throwing it back onto the field with Rabastan yelling for everyone to start their pathetic attempts again, his normally cool patience gone.
"Change your mind?" Regulus asked hopefully, as he caught an errant quaffle headed for the handle of his broom before launching it back into the chaotic fray.
Dodging his question, Evan asked in return, "Did you notice Bulstrode?"
"You mean besides the fact that he looks like he eats the flank of a hippogriff every morning for breakfast? No, what am I missing?"
At his commentary on the young wizard's build, Hermione erupted into guilty laughter, her face dropping onto Severus's thigh as it grew out of control.
"Leave the poor boy alone," she gasped between laughs. "He can't help his size. Besides, just think how intimidating he will look on the field. Oh Merlin, that was mean, I'm sorry," she apologized, still laughing despite herself.
"She's got a point," Severus agreed, his leg twitching beneath her face as she turned to rest her cheek on him so that she could watch Regulus.
Realizing the situation she was in, she quickly shot her head back up and straightened herself out to keep any part of her from touching him. A dark chuckle sounded from behind her as Evan and Regulus continued to talk about what was going on on the field.
"You can come back if you want," he purred beside her ear.
Hermione sighed at the warm pleasure his voice brought, her head canting to the side as though his words were touching her.
Reluctantly she breathed, "It wouldn't be right."
"Says who?" He asked, his fingers trailing down the nape of her neck and over her shoulder as they grazed her collarbone.
"But last night, I-"
"What do you say, Hermione?" Evan asked, startling her out of the trace Severus's touch had put her in.
"I'm sorry I didn't hear. What was the question?" She asked, her body feeling warm as all three watched her with a knowing look.
"I asked Evan what it would take to get him to join us out there," Regulus explained.
Picking up where he left off, Evan continued, "And I told him I would do it if you agreed to spend time with just me Saturday after next."
"And since it's your house's pride like Rab said, I told him you would probably agree."
Looking at Regulus and past him to Rabastan, she mumbled, "But what about..."
Severus leaned into her again, his hands rubbing down her arms as they covered her.
With a wicked whisper against her ear, he said, "We understand what it means to all be attracted to you, Hermione. You only need to remain as fair and upfront as you were the other night while you get to know us. Aside from that... date... kiss... touch... explore... each of us at your own pace. You'll find the four of us aren't easily separated, that we may even enjoy watching you with one of us."
His words brought her right back to being sandwiched between Regulus and Rabastan earlier in the Great Hall, a desire to resume that position with them consuming her as Severus's lips left an untouched trail along her neck, making her ache for all three of them.
"You all feel that way?" She asked nervously, her focus on Evan who aside from a light touch to her back hadn't been as forthcoming as the others.
"So long as you're only seeing the four of us and no one else, yes," he confirmed.
"You say that as if you think anyone else could possibly hold my attention," she answered candidly, surprising herself as she realized they had each commanded her sole focus from the moment she had met them.
"My brother?" Rabastan nearly accused, having flown up to join them.
"Is a friend," she said dismissively, rolling her eyes as she made a note to ask Rodolphus about what was going on between them.
Looking back at Evan, she rested her chin on Severus's thigh and relaxed under his touch as his hand brushed over her hair.
Teasing him, she said, "You drive a hard bargain, Rosier, so you better be one hell of a player otherwise I may feel ripped off. After all, as you each pointed out, my house's reputation is at stake and I can't associate with anyone who jeopardizes that."
"Fair enough," he conceded with a laugh. "Let me summon my broom and I'll meet you out there," he called to Regulus, heading for the stairs.
"Thank fuck!" He cheered, hopping off his broom and onto the stands.
He grabbed Hermione's face and gave her a hard kiss that made her whimper against him as her hands came up to hold his wrist and Severus's thigh. All too soon the contact of his mouth on hers was over, leaving her frustrated as she sank back into Severus with a huffy pout.
"Don't worry little temptress," he purred. "As soon as you're ready we will be all too happy to see to your needs."
Feeling a moist heat settle between her legs at the promise, she thought, Can I be ready now?