Chapter 9
BPOV

"This...wow, this is fantastic, Bella. I've known you for four years now, how did I not know you were a writer? And a damn good one at that."

I rolled my eyes. "You're my best friend, you have to say that, Tan."

She scoffed, tossing the pages I'd printed out back toward me. "What? When have I ever been anything but honest with you? You know I won't kiss your ass just because we're friends. Please tell me you're sending this out and looking for a publisher?"

"No, it's just an expansion on a short story I wrote for an assignment sophomore year."

She sat up on the couch, staring at me. "You don't get it, do you? What you have here, what you've done? I'd think you of all people would get it."

"Tanya—"

"No! Listen to me, Bella. There are so few stories out there that have a girl with an ass, boobs, and a belly as the lead love interest. And never mind one who has fuck hot sex with mister tall, dark, and handsome."

"He's actually pretty pale."

She threw her hands up in exasperation. "Are you even listening to me?"

"I'm listening, it's just...really? You really think I should try?"

She grabbed the pages back from me, holding them up. "If you don't, you're doing all of us a disservice. Do you know how many women you could help? Women who struggle with their bodies, who think no one will ever love them for them." She stared straight at me and I felt my stomach flip.

Over the years, thanks to Tanya and Seth, I figured out how to love myself—well most days, at least. I'd put on a few more pounds recently, and old thoughts crept back in.

I found myself hesitant to undress in front of Seth, but tried my best to push my fears aside. He'd never commented on my weight before, except to tell me how much he loved my curves. But I still heard the voices in my head telling me I wasn't good enough. Even if I knew it wasn't true, it was hard to ignore.

"Oh, my God, could you imagine if you get published and they turn it into a movie?" Tanya interrupted my thoughts.

Shaking my head, I laughed at her enthusiasm. "I haven't even sent it anywhere, don't get ahead of yourself."

"You know who the main guy reminds me of? You know that actor, shit, what was his name—the really hot one. Oh! Edward Cullen! He could definitely play Robert!"

My heart beat loudly in my ears at the mention of his name. In the last few years, his career had really taken off. It was hard to not hear something about him at least once a week. He was notorious for egging on the paparazzi and flipping them the bird. He seemed nothing like the quiet boy I remembered. But he was an amazing actor, and from what I read, directors loved working with him. His persona in the public eye wasn't what it was on set. That part at least gave me a little hope for him.

"Oh, um, I don't know. I don't think he really fits the character. Besides, like I said, you're getting ahead of yourself."

"Bella, you're blushing! Why are you blushing?"

I threw my head back on the couch, closing my eyes. "Shut up, Tanya."

"Aw! You've got a thing for Edward Cullen? I thought your type was long hair and buff bodies." She giggled.

I turned to her, fidgeting in my spot. "Okay, look, I went to high school with him. My best friend was his twin sister, Rose. I had a crush on him, but that's old news."

Her jaw dropped as she stared at me. "We've seen him in how many movies—and you never mentioned this? I get it, you're worried he'd get the part and then you'd have to spend time with him. He'd come in, realize it's you, and proceed to sweep you off your feet."

"You're forgetting a big part: I'm in love with Seth."

"But you didn't deny it!" she shouted, throwing her head back in laughter. "Come on, I'm just teasing you. I know you love Seth, and I love Paul, but that doesn't mean that Edward Cullen or Jason Momoa don't creep into my dreams sometimes."

I sighed heavily. "It's just a little weirder for me, I guess."

—DC—

I took Tanya's advice and sent copies of my book out to a few publishers. But as months passed and I heard nothing back, I gave up hope.

We graduated, and I was lucky enough to have had a job lined up for right after. I somehow scored an entry-level job at one of the public libraries in New York. The pay wasn't great, but between myself, Seth, Tanya, and Paul we made it work in our little two-bedroom apartment.

I walked through the door one evening to find Seth waiting for me at the kitchen table.

"Hey, everything okay?"

He grinned, pushing an envelope toward me. "Something came for you in the mail today."

I stared down at it. The return address was from Twilight Publishing. "It's probably a rejection letter…"

"Baby, just open it. You won't know until you do, but I have a good feeling."

My hands shook as I picked it up. I hadn't realized how badly I wanted it until this very moment. Tearing it open, I read the words over and over.

They wanted it. They actually wanted it!

I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. "Seth, they...they want it. They actually want it!"

He jumped up, grabbing me around the waist and spinning me. "Of course they do! It's an amazing story, you're amazing." Cupping my face with his hands, he kissed me deeply, before murmuring against my lips. "Let's go celebrate."

—DC—

Everything was a whirlwind after that moment. Things began happening so quickly. Within the first year, around 3,000 copies sold, and suddenly there was talk of a movie adaptation. I hadn't agreed to it yet, most of the ideas that had been thrown at me just didn't work. They either missed key points in the story or changed my characters too much.

But when a certain script landed on my desk, I knew I had to say yes.

It was nothing like I had ever imagined. When I was younger, I couldn't have pictured myself in this position. If I could have gone back, I would have told that little girl to hold on. I'd let her know that it would take time, that things might never be perfect, but eventually it would all work out.

And as I pulled out the list of actors and actresses auditioning for the lead rolls, I had to believe everything would work out. Because there, on that paper, one name in particular jumped off the page at me.

Edward Cullen

As much as I tried to ignore it, my heart pounded in my chest as I thought about seeing him again. I told myself over and over that he was definitely out of my league now, and that I loved Seth. But still…there was a part of me that wondered "what if."