By Jim Robert Bader
(Featuring the characters created by Rumiko Takahashi & Kosuke Fujishina, with special appearance by Toltiir,
who belongs to Gregg Sharp and his Bet series.)
Some millennia it just did not pay to get out of bed, or at least that was what Toltiir reckoned as he spied whom it was who was leaning over the Well of Mimir THIS time.
"Looking for something?" he asked of the deity in question.
"Not really," said Pan, the Greek God of Nature and Revelry, "I was just looking into the timestream and thinking to myself...'What's the point of it all?' These weird alternate universes that keep getting created at a whim, what purpose does it really serve, other than to mess up that guy Ranma's life even worse than it already is."
On any other occasion it would have cheered Toltiir greatly to find something novel to his experience, but to hear Pan of all deities waxing philosophical was just plain downright disturbing! There was a sober and reflective look about the Satyr-god's shaggy mien that was almost frightening in a perverse and understated way. Pan was usually the most boisterous and gregarious of gods, but here he was looking moody, reflective and downright SOBER!
"Are you feeling alright?" Toltiir asked, wondering what could have brought about such a fundamental transformation in this normally least serious of Greek gods. From the way he was brooding right now you could almost have mistaken him for his father, Hermes!
"Never better," Pan said as he held up the bottle that was in his hand, "Ever since I started drinking this to help me with my alcohol problem I've been thinking more clearly than I ever have in my whole entire existence.
Toltiir almost gagged in dismay, for in the hand of the Shepherd's God was a bottle with the label "Coca Cola," and one of those "Infinitely Renewable" bottles that Loki had once conjured up during a brief stint as running a mail order business out of Yggdrasil. These infernal things could never be emptied, would always refill after every swallow and had 100% pure carbonated (and magically refrigerated to a brisk nine degrees Celsius) Original (not the copy formula) Coca Cola, the kind with a Phosphoric Acid content that made battery acid seem like lemon juice, and whose caffeine content would turn Dionysus himself into an upright citizen. This wicked stuff had magically enhanced side-
effects that could potentially put Morpheus the Dream God permanently out of business. Under its perverse influence a normal human mind would have been powerless to erect the veil of petty denials and self-deceits that made normal life in the mortal world possible. People would actually SEE and UNDERSTAND how the world actually was operating and what their lives were truly all about. Some would attempt to go mad as a safety-valve for preventing their minds from functioning on the level of basic understanding, but to no avail as they would become Cosmically Awake and be forced to confront the basic fact of how small and petty their lives could be in the greater scheme of the cosmos.
Something like that could potentially put even the Gods out of business, so Toltiir at once reacted by saying, "Easy there, old timer...just put down the bottle and walk away. Have a shot of Tequila or go visit with your old friends Jimmy Walker and Jack Daniels, I'm sure they miss you..."
"No, dammit!" Pan declared insistently, interposing his own shaggy self between Toltiir and the bottle, "I'm not putting it down! This bottle has finally caused me to see how badly I've been wasting my whole life! Why, do you know that the Christians actually have me confused with that silly Devil icon they use to frighten the tourists?"
"That's just bad public relations," Toltiir said as he tried once again to get at the accursed bottle, "I'm sure the Nymphs you frolic around with would make excellent character witnesses."
"But that's just it!" Pan wailed, "I'm a lecherous cad, a faithless womanizer, a no-account serial sexual abuser who deserves to be horse-whipped..."
"Give me that bottle right now!" Toltiir demanded, as near to a state of panic as a God of Mischief could get, being so unnerved by the thought of a remorseful satyr, but when he stretched out an appendage in an attempt to snag it the bottle got loose from Pan's fingers and fell from his hand, tumbling with slow inevitability into the Well of Mimir!
Slow horror fell over both deities as they stared at the resulting ripples in the timefield, and then Toltiir, with exaggerated horror, asked, "What have you done?"
"Er," Pan reluctantly replied, "You think maybe nobody down there will notice...?"
Tendo Soun was on his way home from the hospital with an ashen face, numbly setting one foot ahead of the other as he tried to think what to do for the sake of his family now that he had gotten the bad news about Kimiko's condition. Kasumi and the others would still be in school, he reckoned, which meant that he had a few hours until he had to confront them and explain what was meant by the term the doctors had used when they requested that his wife stay the night so that they could run "a few more tests" to confirm their suspicions.
At times such as this Soun wanted very much to find a place where he could get himself good and thoroughly drunk, but his family needed him to stay sober, to keep focused, to hold it all together. He could not afford to break down now and dissolve into a puddle of tears, even if he felt like bewailing the gods and wondering which Kami he might have offended to be confronted with such an awful fate. If only there were some way that he could make everything all better, like with a wish or...
That was his last coherent thought for the next several minutes. Fortunately for Soun he was unusually hard-headed, or else the act of having a coke bottle impact upon his head could well have proven more serious than to induce a mild state of concussion. Once he recovered consciousness he found the bottle...some American made product. That figured, they dropped their bombs during the Great War, and now they were trying to dump their cheap foreign products on Japanese markets. There ought to be an import law against such things, or something like that...
But, come to think of it, he was a bit thirsty, and there was no sense in letting a good cola product go to waste. A little sip would not hurt, after all, and he was in a mood for some serious drinking, and so he took a swig and found it good, so he had a full swallow, and before he knew it he was downing the whole bottle...only to find the bottle filled right back up again as fast as he could drain it...
"Uh oh," Pan said as he and Toltiir scanned the resultant alterations in the timeline.
"Uh oh?" Toltiir glared at his divine companion, "You call giving Soun Tendo an infinite bottle of Coca Cola is a mere 'Uh-Oh? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!"
"Um...rendered him Cosmically Sober?" Pan hazarded, "Okay, so he has a little more on the ball and realizes early on what a wuss he's been taking the easy route out of every crisis, so maybe he starts taking his life and his martial arts a bit more seriously. So what's the harm in that?"
"What's the harm?" Toltiir stabbed with a paw at the Well, "Just look at what happens nine years down the road when Ranma comes to Nerima..."
Kasumi pulled up alongside her family house and killed the engine of her motorcycle. She dismounted fluidly with the ease of long practice, her well-
oiled leather gear hardly making a rustle as she set her helmet down and allowed her long pony tail to fall across her left shoulder, as was her usual wont. She smiled the easy smile she liked to affect as she thought of seeing what her father and sisters were up to this time of the day, wondering why her father had phoned her to come home for the day from college. He seemed so serious that it had to be something to do with family honor, which could mean a lot of things when it came to her father.
As she approached the front door to the house she was greeted by her step mother, who naturally seemed to have sensed her coming with that uncanny ability that Kasumi could never quite figure out. The two of them exchanged pleasant smiles and then her step-mother said, "So, how are classes?"
"They're fine," Kasumi replied, "I'm doing well on my sophomore year exams and I look forward to getting my medical degree in a few years, just like you predicted, Step-mother."
"Good," the older woman smiled, "You're living up to your potential, your father will be pleased. And how are you treating that machine my brother-in-law gave you?"
Kasumi just smiled, "I'm keeping up the maintenance, just like he showed me, but why do you ask questions for which you already know the answer, Step-mother?'
"Just making conversation," Urd Tendo grinned back, "Come on inside, your Dad is having a family powwow and he wants you to be in on it."
"Do you know what father is up to this time?" Kasumi asked.
"What do I look like, omniscient or something?" the dusky skinned, silver-haired ageless beauty with the odd facial markings replied, "Besides, that would just spoil the surprise, and you know how much your father likes cooking up surprises."
"I can well remember," Kasumi said as she knelt down to remove her boots before stepping into the house, and at once was greeted by a peculiar odor coming from the kitchen, to which she at once remarked, "Oh my...don't tell me...?"
"You sister is trying to help me out in the kitchen again...accent on the word 'try,?'" Urd smiled, "At least she means well, but I'm afraid she lacks your culinary talents."
"Poor Nabiki," Kasumi sighed, "I hope this time that her efforts are at least partly edible."
"You do believe in miracles, don't you?" Urd softly chuckled, "And I thought I was bad at this stuff before my kid sister started giving me pointers."
Kasumi looked in on Nabiki, who was just then using the insulating gloves to pull her latest efforts out from the oven, fretting slightly that she thought she had at least this time gotten it exactly as the recipe book had instructed. She sighed and made her presence known, only to be greeted with a happy yelp and an enthusiastic hug from her middle sister, who was overjoyed at having her "Oniichan" back home for a visit.
"And how have you been getting on with yourself, dear Sister?" Kasumi asked as she ruffled the short hair of the other girl with gruff affection, "Are you still seeing that boy you said was interesting you? What was his name again...?"
"Tachi?" Nabiki said brightly, "He's great, you should meet with him sometime, Oniichan. He just won honors for the Kendo club in a match against one of our school rivals."
"Then I'll have to meet him indeed to see if he is worthy of you, little Sister," Kasumi remarked, "And where is Akane?"
"Well," Nabiki replied, "She was visiting over at a friend's, but when Daddy called her home he insisted that she meet him in the dojo for some casual free sparring..."
"Then that's where I'm headed," Kasumi made a point of flexing her arms in an exaggerated manner, "It's been a while since I've had a good workout with father, and I could use the exercise to loosen up after a long ride across town."
"Then I'll come with you as far as the dojo," Urd remarked, "Nabiki, straighten up a bit in here, we're having company soon, and we wouldn't want anyone thinking this place isn't kept orderly on a regular basis."
"Yes Mom," Nabiki replied pleasantly as she turned to her cooking efforts, "I was just getting ready to serve it to Daddy, you think he'll like my cooking this time?"
"He loves you, so why wouldn't he?" Urd replied evasively, turning away so that she could hide a somewhat worried expression as she and Kasumi walked out into the backyard garden, "Maybe I should get the stomach pump ready, just in case..."
"Poor Nabiki," Kasumi sighed, "She works so hard trying to please other people, I really ought to spend more time with her while I'm here, just to try and ease her away from this habit she's developed of constantly ad-libbing the cooking instructions."
"Would you?" Urd pleaded with her eyes, "You're such a dear, I don't know how you manage it. This being a full-time mother is real work sometimes...but you know, I wouldn't trade any one of you for all the tea in China."
"I know you care about our father," Kasumi replied, "But sometimes I wonder how you wound up becoming our mother, Step-mother...no offense intended."
"None taken," Urd replied, "And believe me, I'm more surprised than anybody, just because I agreed to that little favor that Peorth asked of me when your father made that phone call. I told your mother I'd look after your Dad, and how was I to know I'd fall for the big lug like the proverbial ton of bricks? Never saw myself as the domestic type before, but your father...he can be a real miracle worker himself at times..."
"I know," Kasumi said as they approached the dojo, "Father always has had a way about him, I can't really explain it, but..."
Just then a body went hurtling through the wall of the dojo, crashing through in a rapid tumble the resulted in a slender body landing with catlike grace on all fours, only to straighten out again and assume a fighting crouch that belied her slightly battered condition.
"You call that a hit, Dad?" Akane asked, "That was barely a love-tap! Come on, try again, I'm daring you to lay another hand on me!"
At once the proud and lordly figure of the Tendo patriarch appeared in the doorway, sternly glaring at his daughter before saying, "Bold words do not win battles, Akane. You have to show me that you're really trying your best to do more than score technical points. You have power but you need to work more on your control, and I won't be satisfied by anything less than your best efforts."
"Come on, I'm ready!" Akane challenged, only to do a rapid double-take before a wide grin broke across her face and she cried out, "Oniichan! You're back!"
"And well met indeed, Little Sister," Kasumi replied before turning and bowing at her elder, "Hello, Father, you asked to see me?"
"Yes," her father continued to eye her sternly, "You've been away for three months now, I was beginning to think you had become a stranger. I trust you have been keeping up on your discipline?"
"Of course, Father," Kasumi assured him, "I always put in at least two hours a day in practice..."
"Only two hours?" Soun scoffed, "You've been slacking back. Time enough to see what you have learned in your travels. HIIIIYAAAA!"
Kasumi was ready to dodge the attack and immediately countered with a spinning heel kick that nearly caught her father napping. She darted out into the center of the yard to get more freedom of movement as her father came on with a renewed assault, hands and feet moving rapidly in a skillful series of powerful combinations that were met and matched in kind by Kasumi, who came back with a few new and original variations of her own, each movement carefully measured and balanced to use neither an excess of force nor a deficiency of Ki energy. Kasumi used just enough to keep her father off-balance while she maneuvered him to the center of the yard where she at last launched her surprise counter-
offensive, driving one foot into his stomach when his guard was at its weakest so that he went flopping back into the koi pond.
Akane tried and failed to stifle a laugh but managed to get her features back under control as their father waded out of the pond and shook himself off with as much dignity as he could manage to salvage from his "unfortunate" situation. He maintained a stern visage as he regarded his eldest daughter then very precisely asked, "That last maneuver...is that your idea of doing something clever?"
"Well, it worked against you, Father-Sensei," Kasumi replied with a half-hidden smile, not at all taken in by his stern disposition.
Soun managed to maintain his pretense for just a few moments longer, then a smile forced its way upon his lips and he at last began to chuckle, becoming a full-throated laugh only a few seconds later. At last he spread his arms and welcomed his daughter into his embrace, and Kasumi returned the hug, heedless of getting water on her leather jacket.
"My little girl, you do your father proud," Soun said with clear affection, "How much you have grown while you've been away..."
"I blame it on having good genes, Father," Kasumi replied with equal emotion, "I have missed you and the others, but you am never far away from my heart."
"You two," Urd chuckled as she shook her long mane of silver hair in amused dismay, "The way you greet each other you'd think Kasumi was a boy and not your daughter..."
"Go easy on them, Urd-sama," Akane urged, "Kasumi hasn't been around for a while, we're all happy to see her."
"I know," Urd replied, "But you have to admit that they do make a very unusual father-daughter pairing."
"So, Father," Kasumi said as she and her father moved apart to regard each other with more proper dignity in their bearing, "Why did you wish me to come home with such urgency? You made it sound as if there were some kind of an emergency..."
"Ah, well...a bit of an exaggeration that," Soun replied, "But the matter I wish to discuss is an important one, and if you will come with me I will explain myself to you and your sisters. You see...it involves an old bit of business that dates back to my own days as a student of the martial arts, a promise that has come back to haunt me all these many years later...one of several foolish bargains I made in my misspent youth, alas..."
"Father?" Kasumi blinked, "That sounds both mysterious and ominous..."
"Yes it does," Urd frowned, "And I definitely want to hear the full details...when you feel like sharing, Soun-chan."
Soun just smiled at his wife and nodded, "And you shall hear it all, my love, that I most solemnly promise..."
"Well...doesn't look too bad so far," Pan remarked as he scryed the pool with a cautious expression, "So that Kasumi girl's a practicing martial artist...and she does look surprisingly good in leather..."
"You idiot," Toltiir growled, "Can't you see what's different now that Soun Tendo is actually thinking for a change instead of just reacting like an emotional basket case? Just look what happens when Ranma and his father make their fateful entrance..."
Urd watched carefully as her three step-daughters absorbed the story their father had just unveiled to them, including the promise that one of them would become the bride to some boy whom none of them had even heard about before this day. To say the proposal went over like a lead balloon would have been a gross understatement, but given the almost apologetic way in which he explained the matter they were inclined to be at least tentatively forgiving.
Urd was a different matter. She was well aware that her husband had been something of a foolish youth in the days before settling down with his first wife, but in the years since she had come to take over the role of the Tendo Matriarch she had grown very fond and protective towards each of her step-
daughters. The thought of an arranged marriage between any of them and some no-
account lowlife was not exactly a thought near and dear to her heart. She scowled a bit the more she thought the matter over and decided that she and her husband would have a private "chat" about this matter, and just why it was that he felt like springing it upon them all out of the blue without due preparations.
Kasumi was the first to speak, being the eldest and most willing to voice her opinions, "Father...this friend of yours from long ago...how can you even be certain that he will be showing up now with his son?"
In response her father held up a post card and said, "I received this in the mail this very morning, it's from Saotome Genma, and he informs me that he is on his way and will be showing up here at any moment to introduce his son, Ranma, for one of you to marry."
"I don't like the sound of this, Dad," Akane said forthrightly, "How can you expect one of us to marry him when we don't even know what he's like?"
"Yeah," Nabiki agreed, "I mean...I'm sure your old friend would try to raise his son right, but there's no telling what influences might have shaped his development...and besides, I'm already seeing someone special."
"Oh?" her father smiled, "That Kuno boy, Tatewaki?"
"Daddy," Nabiki blushed and looked down with a self-conscious smile on her lovely features.
"It seems that I may have to speak to his legal guardians if it is as serious as your smile suggests," Soun said with affection to his beloved middle daughter, "But you need not fear...none of you will be required to marry Saotome Ranma if it is against your will. I'm certain the lad may be just as dubious about meeting the three of you sight unseen, not that I think he will be able to resist your charms once you have been properly introduced."
"Father," Kasumi nodded, "It's not that we're rejecting the idea out of hand, but if we knew something more about who this Ranma person is..."
"That's right," Akane agreed, "And he may not be right for us either. We'd have to let the guy get to know us first, and only then we'd maybe think some more about it...but to tell you up front, I'm not too keen about any arranged marriage. I'd consider it if I didn't have any other prospects..."
"Oh?" Soun asked with lifted eyebrows, "You're not beating them off at school anymore, are you?"
"Oh, don't worry about Akane on that score, Soun-chan," Urd smiled, "Her students know by now that she's a Tendo and a lady, and as such to be respected."
"Or else," Akane murmured softly under her breath, heaving a wistful sigh as she hoped her father would not press her for any details.
Fortunately for her peace of mind the door bell rang at that precise moment. Urd turned away from the others and said, "I'll get that, you just wait here and keep on thrashing out the details about why this isn't such a great idea. Arranged marriages are so...passe..."
"I fear you are right, my love," Soun nodded, looking at his daughters, "Though it is an affair of honor, an agreement entered into almost twenty years ago, made while Genma and I were heavily under the influence of a generous amount of sake, can hardly be counted as the firm basis for a suitable relationship, which is why I intend to talk to Genma and see to it that the matter is deferred until such time as we can determine if his son will make a suitable husband for one of you girls. I haven't spoken to Genma in over a decade, but if he is anything like what I remember, then there is some cause for concern as I doubt he would make a very good role model..."
There was a loud "ZZZAAAAAPPP!" that echoed from the front door and all head swerved towards the hallway, Akane being the first one to say, "Uh-oh...I know what that sound means..."
"Oh dear," Nabiki remarked, "Mother zapped someone again?"
"I hope it wasn't serious," Kasumi remarked, already on her feet and headed for the hallway.
The rest of the Tendo clan arrived just in time to see Urd standing in the doorframe with her hands raised in a dramatic pose, the scent of ozone confirming that one of her much-dreaded Urd-bolts had been unleashed upon some poor unfortunate party.
"Oh dear," Nabiki said, "I do hope it wasn't another magazine salesman..."
"No, look!" Akane pointed, "That smoldering heap of fur...is that a...panda?"
"Gah!" said another singed form that slowly rose from the twitching hulk upon whose shoulder she had previously been riding, "W-what...hit me...?"
"Oh my," Kasumi remarked, "It's a...girl?"
"Indeed," Soun observed, "But...who is she?"
"Ah...ohiyo," the redhead responded in a somewhat unsteady manner, wobbling a bit on her feet.
"Who are you?" Urd asked, acknowledging that she had accidentally harmed the girl in her reflexive reaction to seeing an upright panda.
"My name's...Saotome Ranma," the redhead replied, "S-Sorry about...this...ooooohhh!" and with that she passed out again, her nervous system being overwhelmed despite her phenomenal powers of healing...
"Okay," Pan remarked, "So that might have gone better..."
"Better?" Toltiir replied, "Ranma recovers, reveals her curse, gets the immediate sympathy and support of the Tendo clan while Genma is reviled as a drunken fool for mistreating his son in a clearly abusive pattern. Ranma goes on to become friends with the Tendo sisters but no immediate engagement to any of them results from this since they all find his curse a bit too weird to cope with...at first. Akane is clearly intent on becoming a mature and entirely feminine woman so she can attract Tofu as a husband while Nabiki is an entirely altruistic being who never indulges in scams or blackmail and is clearly intent on landing Tatewaki Kuno. Kasumi is the only one who isn't interested in someone else and she's the best fighter in her family, so the parents gently try to encourage her to view Ranma as a potential husband. His immaturity is a clear obstacle, and he's a little put off at meeting a girl who's nearly as good at the arts as he is, so it makes a relationship between them both iffy at best..."
"But hey," Pan pointed out, "At least everybody is getting along here and no one else is being abusive to the poor guy besides his father..."
"That's exactly the point!" Toltiir complained, "People talk out their problems here and arrive at reasonable conclusions through agreement and recognition of common points of interest. They only practice their martial arts for health and fitness purposes, aside from a few random encounters who are less reasonable than the rest. Shampoo actually gets talked down from her vengeance quest, and once she learns the truth about Ranma's curse she's willing to court him in a sensible and almost sane manner. Kodachi is receiving therapy and isn't quite so over-the-top in her behavior, and the Tendos eventually wind up adopting Ukyo into their clan. Nabiki is studying magic with Urd and has sloughed off a bit in her martial arts, but she's so nice and pleasant to be around here that hardly anyone ever bothers her, and it's Kasumi who's the obvious heir to the Tendo estate..."
"So what's the problem?" Pan asked reasonably.
"Are you kidding me?" Toltiir replied, "It's so nice and tidy and pleasant here that I almost want to toss my cookies! I mean, what's the fun in all that? Without the magic and mayhem of the original timeline...well...it just doesn't seem like a Ranma timeline!"
"Oh, I see your point," Pan replied, "You think maybe the kid's life is a little too easy here?"
"Yeah, and without that element of conflict that helped drive him to become a better martial artist the kid will never reach his full potential," Toltiir frowned, "And all because that damned bottle gave Soun the insight to see what a waste he was making of his life and how he could try and improve things. Just see what effect the bloody thing has on Genma...!"
"Kami-sama..." Genma stared out into space as he set down the proffered coke bottle, "You were right, Tendo-kun...I never realized before! I've been wasting my whole life, running around living like a bum...and the things I've been doing to my son..."
"There, there, Saotome," Soun put a brotherly hand on his friend's shoulder, "I know exactly how you feel. I've been there before, I can help. We both have lost so many years because of the time we spent studying under the Master. You'll see that life can be about more than the Art, old friend, and together we will see what we can do about making right the mistakes we both have made in the past. Your son will see that you can become a better man, trust me..."
"Hmmm..." Pan remarked, "Something about that Genma boy almost makes me feel a certain...kinship..."
"Big surprise that," Toltiir snorted, not bothering to get into the issue of certain other past timelines.
"And Happosai?" Pan asked with clear trepidation.
"Just see for yourself," Toltiir nodded at the pool once again...
"Oh, my poor boys..." Happosai stared at the men before him and wept, "What have I done to you? All these years that I've forced you to steal for me, I took you away from your lives...I wasted my time collecting useless women's lingerie...what have I done...?"
Pan shuddered, "Yeah...I see what you mean...scary!"
"We can't let this stand the way it is," Toltiir said grimly, "We have to return the mischief and mayhem to this timeline or the people there could be doomed to a boring and tranquil existence."
"What must we do?" Pan asked with concern.
"Well, the first step is obvious," Toltiir glared at the pool, "We have to get back that Gods-accursed bottle..."
Continued? (Hmmm...maybe not...)
Comments/Criticisms/Recovery from Disaster: shadowmane
This is the first thing I've managed to get completed since recovering from my recent (and latest) bout of hardware failure and one damned persistent Computer virus, so I hope you're not too disappointed. I have a lot of regular projects that I mean to get back on, but first I thought I'd do this short bit of irreverent fluff just to get the idea off my chest, so I hope you enjoy it as a one-shot effort. I rather like the idea of the Kasumi that I created here, but other than that, I haven't the time or inclination to continue this beyond the opening preview. I'm in the middle of a BIG MOVE to another city and will soon be exchanging E-mail accounts (the above Ridgenet account will remain active for another three months-at least until August of this year, 2001), so I haven't the time for doing Grande Epic Sagas (other than to continue the ones I already have going).
The idea for this was just a bit of fun, loosely based on a certain classic movie that some may remember from decades ago, "The Gods Must Be Crazy." In this set-up, however, the Coke Bottle imbues a moment of instant epiphany for anyone who drinks from it, allowing them to observe their own lives objectively and without the usual self-delusion that is typical of the Ranma characters, so you can see how everyone here has been affected by its diabolical influence.
Kasumi is very much together and alert, not spacey, as is her usual incarnation, while Nabiki has gained insight into the interconnectedness of all life and is now an altruistic and well-intentioned person. Akane is not the violent tomboy of before but likes to do "feminine" things to enhance her attractiveness in order to one day gain Doctor Tofu's affections. Soun is alert, mature and capable and has a supportive wife who dotes on him in a no-nonsense manner. Urd's involvement came about because she took a phone call in the Goddess Relief office that Peorth directed her way, and so she wound up granting a wish to Kimiko Tendo that her husband and family would have someone around to help guide and protect them in her absence...but once she got a good look at the "New and Improved" Soun Tendo she fell hopelessly in love and agreed to become his second wife as part of the fulfillment of her contract. She's since used her divine powers selectively to "help" matters along, and once she found out that Akane was being bothered in school she saw to it that the boys attacking her every morning were made aware that this was NOT A GOOD THING in the eyes of a certain Goddess of the Past.
Where would it go from here? Who knows? Maybe a Ranma/Kasumi romance with Shampoo and Ukyo competing for attention? Would he face the kind of challenges that were the bread and butter of the main timeline? Would Cologne still come to Nerima and teach him the Amaguriken and Hiryu Shoten Ha techniques? Would Ryoga still be the vengeful berserker we know and love if he gets to drink from The Bottle? How would Kodachi cope with a shot of "Cosmic Awakeness," forcing her to see herself objectively as others perceive her? And what would Soun Tendo do this time around when Piccolo Picardin shows up to make his pitch over yet another "unfortunate agreement?" For these and many other possible results in this timeline, make up your own conclusions and feel free to share them, I'd love to hear any and all contributions!
See you later!
Jim R. Bader 5/17/01
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