Aud Lang Sang

by The Altered Destinies

A story very similar to what I wrote in my "Reality Bites" series, only this time I take a slightly different tact into the debate held recently concerning which of the fiancees has the better claim on Ranma...

RanAud

Ranma 1/2

Aud Lang Sang

By Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by Rumiko Takahashi, but definitely NOT the way she would write it)

"Over here, Inspector!" the officer on duty called out.

"Hmph," the plainclothes detective on the scene grunted as he stepped past the dust and debris of his surroundings, "What a mess. Ain't the bomb disposal guys been here yet to clean this up?"

"What's the point?" the senior ranking officer from Forensics said gruffly, "The sniffers say there's nothing active left. The blast took everything out...which means it's lucky the building's still standing. The old coot must've blown himself to hell and back mixing an unstable batch. That's what you get going for the home-brewed kit instead of using commercial compounds."

"Which also can be traced better," the Inspector said as he stared at the cloth-
covered body of a small man of advancing years, "Figures you'd wind up like this, Gramps. You must've brewed that last batch using one of the Tomboy's recipes, which serves you just about right."

"You knew the deceased, Inspector?" another officer asked.

"Knew him...long time ago," the Inspector replied, "A real pain in the ass, thought he'd live forever. Guess that proves nobody's that immortal."

"Well, so far we haven't been able to identify him," the Forensics detective replied, "No fingerprints or ID of any kind...can't even match him to a known profile. Looks old enough to go back to the last war..."

"Oh, he's a lot older than that, I'm afraid...or was," the Inspector turned away and said, "Name was Happosai, born in Okinawa, founded a school of Kempo called the Musubetsu Kakuto Ryu..."

"The Anything Goes school?" the sergeant replied, "Hey, ain't that...?"

"Yep," the Inspector flicked away a cigarette he'd been holding in his hand and said, "Sure is. I'm one of the sole remaining practitioners of the arts, big whoopee. He used to think I was his student, the old fool. Don't expect me to get all maudlin and weepy about him kicking off...he wasn't the kind of guy you could get overly fond about, know what I mean?"

"Man, that's cold...even for you, Inspector," the Forensics detective replied.

"Yeah, what can I say? I'm a peach of a guy," the Inspector sniffed, "You guys just call me downtown to have me ID the body?"

"No," the Forensics detective replied, "Actually we needed you to help us ID some of the stuff we found hidden beneath one of the floorboards. We think it's the guy's personal treasure stash, but some of the items look a little bit too exotic for some old geezer's antique collection. We thought maybe some of it might've come from a museum or a private collection, and since you seem to know more about these kinds of trinkets..."

"I follow you," the Inspector replied, "Might as well show me the goods, it oughta prove amusing if nothing else."

"Well, if this is the sort of stuff that turns you on," the Forensics detective said as he indicated a white sheet that had laid down upon an undamaged part of the floor, and on it were arrayed a collection of items that drew the Inspector's immediate interest, particularly when his eyes fell on one item that stood out from the rest.

"Interesting," he remarked, not wanting to give away just how much his interest level had piqued.

"It is if you're planning on having a rummage sale," the Sergeant on duty replied, "We haven't had anyone here to appraise any of this stuff to see if it might be stolen or worth something. According to the Captain we're supposed to refer to you in case anything really interesting turns up in the batch, and since some of this stuff looks pretty old..."

"You don't know the half of it," the Inspector said as he knelt down and picked up the item that had drawn his interest, "This thing here, for example, is centuries old and has quite a historic legend behind it. I even knew somebody who used to own it before the old coot...they call it the Nanban Mirror..."

"That old thing?" the Forensics detective replied, "It's broken!"

"Yeah, but it looks like the Freak tried gluing it back together," the Inspector passed a hand over it, "Still holds a charge after all these years...says a lot for craftsmanship, especially the artificers who created it back in China."

"China?" the sergeant asked, "Are you saying that thing is magic?"

"Oh yeah," the Inspector replied, "The most dangerous kind, which is why I'll be taking this thing with me back to headquarters. A thing like this shouldn't be left gathering dust in an evidence lockup. I've seen what it can do up close, so if it's all the same to you guys..."

"R-R-Ran...ma..."

The Inspector turned around, even as the sergeant and the Forensics detective both turned in astonishment to see the white cloth-covered form start to move, albeit weakly.

"W-WHAT?" the Forensics detective exclaimed.

"He's still alive?" the sergeant said in amazement, "No way!"

"Why am I not surprised?" the Inspector turned to regard the face of the wizened old man as he poked up from under the tarpon, "Thought you kicked off a little too easy, Gramps."

"Ran...ma..." the old man said weakly, "It's you boy...I recognize your...voice..."

The Inspector knelt down beside the enfeebled old man and said, "Yeah, so it's me...so what? Think I give a shit, Old Man? Been a long while since I saw your ugly carcass..."

"Always...were...an ingrate," the old man coughed, "Ranma...you have...a chance...don't throw it away..."

"Throw what away?" Inspector Saotome Ranma replied, "The mirror...or your life, Old Freak? Ain't much use to either..."

"You're...wrong," the old man coughed again, "Mirror...still works...you can use it...change everything..."

"Change?" Ranma snorted, "You've gotta be kidding! The past can't be changed, you told me that yourself."

"So...when did you ever...listen to what I say...you young pup?" the old man wheezed, "Ranma...I'm dying...I don't have the strength to heal myself...my strength's...been fading in and out of late...but...I can't go without telling you...something..."

"Don't try to talk," the Forensics detective said, "Get a stretcher in here! We've got a live one!"

"Not...for long..." Happosai forced his eyes open and stared at Ranma, "You...you've got to believe me...boy...it's not...too late..."

"You're wrong," Inspector Saotome assured the dying old man, "It was too late for me a long time ago, old Fool. You think I'm dumb enough to believe in wishes and magic charms that make everything good that turned out so rotten? Huh...twenty years and you still ain't changed a bit...you still want to cheat fate, and you just live to drag everyone down to your own level..."

"Maybe once...that was true," Happosai said in an amazing concession, eyes filling with tears, "But the mirror...changes everything...it's not the same...I fixed it...now it can go where you need...to go...you can make everything right...it doesn't have to...be like it is..."

"And what makes you think I believe that, Gramps?" Ranma sniffed, "You're wasting your strength, and you haven't got enough left to waste. I can feel your light fading..."

"Maybe so," Happosai forced him self to move, reaching up with a hand to touch the side of his eye, "But I...still...have strength...enough to do this!"

The old man's hand moved, and his aim was true, and as Ranma watched in perverse fascination he saw the tear drop flung from the old man's outstretched finger settle on the shattered glass of the magic mirror that he was still holding, and once it touched he could feel the spell reaching out to engulf him.

"Nanban mirror," Happosai forced himself to remained focused, "Send my boy to where he can do the most good...to change what was...into what it...could be..."

Even as the mirror came to life, Ranma felt the old man's spirit flicker out like the wick of a candle. In a hasty voice he called out, "EVERYBODY BACK AWAY! KEEP AWAY FROM ME, THIS THING'S GONNA GO-!"

Before the Inspector of Police could complete his own sentence he found his surroundings changing, and everything momentarily vanished, to be replaced a moment later by an entirely different sort of surrounding.

"...Off?" Ranma straightened up, and looked around, finding himself alone and still holding the mirror in one hand. His surroundings were now an outdoors area that looked very much like a public park, and after a few seconds of visual inspection to confirm his suspicions he straightened up again and nodded his head grimly, "Looks like the Old Fool was right after all...it does work...only when am I? Looks pretty much like I remember the place when I was living in Nerima..."

"RAAAANMMMAAAA!"

Inspector Saotome turned his head in the direction of that noise and said, "Boy, if that isn't ever familiar..."

"RANMA! How dare you do that to me, you insensitive Jerk!" a shorthaired girl declared as she chased after her fianc e with murderous intent in her expression.

"Hey," cried the pig-tailed boy running just ahead of her, "It's wasn't my idea to dump your stupid cookies down the sink like that! I toldja before they were toxic, and I guess Kodachi just thought she was doing me a favor!"

"Why you-RANMA NO BAKA!" the short haired girl declared, redoubling her effort at punishing the offending boy whom she was righteously chasing.

"Oh," the Inspector said, "Back in High School...terrific. Couldn't even send me to a time when she knew how to cook..."

"Ranchan! Wait up for me!"

"Ranma, you no run away from Shampoo!"

"WHAT?" Inspector Ranma whirled around, "Ucchan...and Shampoo?"

Sure enough the figures of a fleet-footed chef with a spatula strapped across her back was followed by another girl with long-flowing purple locks, each hurrying to catch up with the boy and the girl who was chasing him, which conformed to another long-familiar pattern that the Inspector knew from a past that he had thought was lost forever.

"So...they're here...that means it hasn't really started yet," the Inspector murmured aloud to himself, "So...you really did think it could all change, Old Fool...that's...very interesting..."

A deranged laughter filled the air as yet another form charged past with leaping strides that showcased off a lithe body in a gymnastics leotard. For a moment the Inspector's face did register emotion, right before he managed to regain control over his reactions.

"Hookay," he shuddered slightly, "So she's here too...guess no time's perfect." He glanced down at the mirror in his hand and seemed very pensively thoughtful for a moment, then softly he spoke once again and said, "I wonder..."

Two hours of wandering later and he arrived back at the place where he knew he would eventually arrive no matter his intentions. Time spent in thought, reliving old memories, awakening long buried thoughts and a sense of his own identity. It was quite a walk down memory lane, strolling along fences he had walked as a mere boy, visiting such sights as Furinkan High School and the Tendo dojo, familiarizing himself with the scenes of old battles, old scars and old heartaches, and only to arrive back at a place that he knew would provide the thing he most needed...

Answers.

Or rather what answers he might find a useful tool to solve the dilemma Happosai had left him, and so he stood and kept a silent vigil as he probed the sanctum of the one who could provide him with the key to handling his peculiar situation. A simple probe determined that they would have privacy, and certain parties being absent insure that there would be relatively few interruptions until after they had concluded their business.

And so he walked in through the front doors, scanning the interior to insure that there were few patrons this time of the day, then directing his focus on the one whom he was seeking and noticing with amusement the slight start that she turned as she gazed back in his direction.

Cologne frowned as she felt the aura of the tall man in the long trench coat who had just walked in through the double-doors, feeling a slight chill as she briefly beheld the strength of the man before he clamped down on his aura to disguise the true extent of his power. That mere hint alone was enough to make her sit up and pay attention...

And then she saw the face of the man himself and nearly dropped her staff in dread and anticipation.

"Hello Granny," the man smiled a smile that did not touch his eyes and only barely graced his face, "Long time no see."

"You?" Cologne grew paler than even Ranma had remembered, and then she scanned the room with a greatly vexed expression as if expecting to see something else beside her patrons.

"Don't worry," Ranma said as he pulled up a chair and sat down near to the aged woman, "I'm not a ghost, and I'm not here to cause trouble. I just want to talk, if you don't mind a little conversation."

"That all depends," Cologne said warily, searching his face to confirm her suspicions, "On what subject?"

Ranma pulled the Nanban mirror from his pocket and set it down on the table before her, "I believe this belongs to you. Give you any hints?"

Cologne looked like one whose worst fears had been confirmed by this single gesture, and as she looked up from the patchwork repair work on her treasured family heirloom and asked a single question, "Happosai?"

"He...didn't make it this time around," Ranma replied, almost apologetic in tone, "I'm sorry."

Cologne closed her eyes and for a moment allowed a wealth of grief to show on her weathered features, then opened her eyes with crystal clarity and said, "Why?"

"I think you can guess that part," Ranma replied, "I just need to know something, and I think you can guess that part too."

"You want to know if you should do something," Cologne understood, "And you fear that to act will have undesired consequences."

"Ain't that the way it usually works in those old Sci-fi movies?" Ranma asked, "Or something like that. I never paid much attention to those shows that Akane used to enjoy so much..."

Cologne stood back and gave the man before her a careful scrutiny before she asked, "Is it so bad in the time you come from that you should want to come back here to change it?"

"That all depends," Ranma replied, "Would you threatening to Xi Fang Gao me if you ever set eyes on me again be any indication of just how bad it could get?"

"I...see..." Cologne replied, "So...your question really amounts to asking if you could make things any worse..."

"Assuming I could," Ranma replied, "And I ain't in the habit anymore of making those kinds of assumptions."

"Then why come back at all?" Cologne asked reasonably.

"Hey, it was the old Fart's idea, not mine," Ranma replied, "Guess he had tears enough for the both of us...but, yeah...it's pretty bad where I come from. I just want to know if my being here could make an even bigger mess of things in my future."

"Should I press for details...or should I guess?" Cologne asked softly.

"Why guess?" Ranma replied, "I think you can figure out what's gonna happen. After all, you were the one who tried to warn me."

"Then why tell me about it?" Cologne asked with a more serious expression, "Are you hoping that maybe I will take the matter out of your hands?"

"You know I fight my own battles, Granny," Ranma said, "Only...this time I'm wondering if I should even try. You know how messed up things can get when I try to make things better...or when I try to set things right..."

Cologne studied the man before him before saying, "You've grown cynical and wise in your old age. Things really must have been rough for you...and I suspect my part was none too helpful."

"Not your fault, Granny," Ranma replied, "I'm the one who made the really bad choices."

"And you'd like to make them different if you could do them over again?" Cologne asked.

"Yeah, but we both know it ain't that simple," Ranma replied, "So that's why I wanted to talk with you. You understand this stuff better than I ever did...do I even have the right to tamper? I mean...what I did a long time ago's haunted me all the rest of my life, but it's also made me the sort of person I am today, so if I wind up changing stuff...I might not even exist when I get back...assuming I even want to."

"Somehow you don't seem too worried about that," Cologne noted.

"Should I be?" he looked at her frankly, "No matter how you look at it, I ain't got many choices that don't wind up hurting somebody."

"True enough," Cologne sighed, "I wish I could say that I find it gratifying to know that you will one day grow up and gain maturity, Son-in-law, but...I suspect the cost of such wisdom has been very high. I also suspect that the truth would spell the doom for my great granddaughter..."

"Nothing that dramatic," Ranma said, "Just ain't a 'Happily ever after' type of ending. I messed up something awful, and I owe it as much to you as anybody else who ever wound up victimized by Oyagi."

"So that does present a problem," Cologne admitted, "You know that I am hardly a disinterested party in this, and yet...I can see why you would feel reluctant to interfere in your own destiny."

"Yeah, but I figure you know that sometimes the greater good's gotta come first over what we desire," Ranma said, "In fact...if I'd known that to start with, I probably'd never have gotten roped into any of these stupid engagements. I mean...no offence, but we were just kids, and it was a lot to ask that we make the kind of decisions that even adults don't get right before we were even out of High School..."

"True enough," Cologne said thoughtfully then sighed, "I cannot truly advice you in this, Son-in-law. I do not think that changing your past will void your present, most likely it would simply result in an alternate future where things turned out a bit different. On the other hand, any actions you take are bound to have consequences..."

"That's kind of what I figured," Ranma stood up and bowed to the ancient woman, "My thanks, Great-Grandmother...I may never have told you this, but deep down I've always appreciated that you took the time to try and educate a real baka like me and make me a better fighter."

"That was nothing," Cologne assured him, "It has always been a joy to find a rare student who has your potential, Son-in-law. A pity I've never been able to convince you to add your blood to our tribe...it is our loss of a great warrior..."

"Even though you know how the Council would react if they knew all about me?" Ranma smiled, "Didn't think I'd ever figure it out, huh? The real reason why you stopped trying to drag me back to China."

"I see that you have gained as much insight as wisdom, Son-in-law," Cologne sighed, "Indeed, the day you defeated me in battle, I knew that the council would never accept you into our midst with open arms, not with a man whose very existence is a challenge to everything we Amazons believe..."

"But you kept on letting me think that marrying Shampoo would mean abandoning my family here in Japan," Ranma pointed out, "And I wasn't prepared to do it back then...or now. Of course, with the advantage of hindsight, I probably wouldn't count that as much of a loss, but..."

"A miscalculation, true...and one of many," Cologne conceded, "A pity my mistakes soured your appreciation of my great-granddaughter's petition..."

"The mistakes were on both side," Ranma corrected, "Don't beat yourself up over that. Chalk it up to cultural differences and the way we met, when you tried to force me into doing what you wanted. I never did learn to trust you after that, and that was my greatest mistake, because you were one of the few people who ever made any real sense when you tried to explain things..."

"SAOTOME-You swine!"

"Oh hell," Ranma sighed as he turned around to dodge an attack that came in the form of a series of chains and other flying objects. For an instant his outline seemed to blur, and then he was right behind Mousse locking the younger boy into a vice-like grip, and with savage motions he forced Mousse over a table, producing a pair of handcuffs and locking them in place before Mousse was even the wiser.

"Y'know, I'd almost forgot how annoying jerks like you could be," Ranma said as he stepped back from the cuffed boy, maintaining a solid grip on Mousse's collar, "Count yourself lucky that I ain't in my jurisdiction or I'd haul you into immigration and give you a one-way boot of your sorry ass back to China!"

Cologne was amazed at the ease with which her fully mature son-in-law took down Mousse, as if the half-blind fool were a mere child being man-handled by an adult, but something else in the tone and bearing of Ranma caused her to ask, "Are you...an officer of the law in your time, Son-in-law?"

"Yeah, well, it's a living," Ranma shrugged after tossing Mousse over a table, cuffing one of his legs to the leg of the table, "Guys like me don't got a lot of career options...and on my aptitude tests they said I'd either wind up a cop or a game show host...and you know how stupid I'd looking handing out prizes."

"I see," Cologne nodded sagely, "Well then...best of luck to you, and try thinking with your heart when it comes down to making a decision on the future, Son-in-law."

"Yeah...act from the heart and not just from my guts," Ranma noted as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder in Mousse's direction, "Do me a favor while I'm out and keep that locked up and out of my sight until it's all over, all right?"

"Did Mousse do something to truly annoy you in the future, Son-in-law?" Cologne asked.

"Hey, if I told you that you'd probably have to kill him," Ranma replied as he exited the Nekohanten, murmuring to himself, "One down, one to go...wonder if Ucchans'll give me any deeper insights..."

Behind him Cologne just heaved a sigh then murmured to herself, "Happy...if only you truly knew what you have set into motion..."

Akane halted in mid-stride as she came into the dojo, seeing a sight as strange and unexpected as anything she had ever before witnessed in a life full of strangeness. She had to shake her head and look again before she would actually give credit to her senses and only then did she ask the question, "Ranma...are you actually doing your homework?"

"Heh, what does it look like?" Ranma asked as he lay on his side with his nose buried in a school textbook, "We gotta big test tomorrow and I wanna be ready."

To say that that statement flabbergasted Akane would have been a criminally negligent understatement. In point of fact she half suspected that her iinazuke was under some sort of enchantment, but just to make sure about it she asked, "Why?"

"Why am I worried about some dumb old test?" Ranma looked up, "I ain't...but Mom thinks I need to work on raising my grades so I can graduate the same time you do. What's the matter, ain't it manly for a guy to wanna get good grades or something?"

The mere mention of his mother explained a lot to Akane. If there was anyone alive who could convince Saotome Ranma to take his academic performance seriously it was the formidable Saotome Nodoka. That it was unusual for Ranma to be in any ways concerned about his school work was quite the understatement. Ordinarily Akane had to tutor him on those subjects where he was lagging behind, such as Math and Literature, though most of the time he seemed to sail right through his classes with perfect retention of the material, an effect of his eidetic memory, which seemed oddly to work even when he slept through most of his classes.

Comprehension of the material he studied, of course, had always been lagging, but here he was reading his textbook on history with books of Japanese and English set off to one side for later study. He actually seemed to be engrossed in reading something about the Meiji era (as she discovered when she glanced past his shoulder), a subject they'd been covering for the past week, which meant that he was trying to get on board with the rest of their classmates.

"What you want?" he asked, "I'm kind of busy at the moment."

"Hmph, well excuse me for showing a little interest," Akane said with slightly ruffled feathers, though she was pleased to see that Ranma was at least paying attention to something besides his martial arts training, "But can you actually even follow that? It's mostly in kanji..."

"Yeah, but Nabiki's been giving me some lessons in how to read it," Ranma said without glancing up, "She says my Katakana's weak and my Hatagana's almost as badly spelled as Oyagi's..."

"Nabiki's been tutoring you?" Akane blinked, "How much is she charging?"

"Believe it or not she ain't charging me nothing," Ranma replied, "Mom convinced her that she owes me the favor after messing up our wedding like she did, not that I ain't sorry about it or nothing."

"HUH?" Akane reacted, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Just that our stupid old men were trying to force us to get married and we ain't even graduated yet," Ranma replied, "I mean...seriously, do you wanna get married before we're even out of classes? Not that I'm sayin' we will get married or nothing..."

"Oh, of course," Akane said with a slightly evasive look of her own, trying not to look at her fianc e before adding, "So...what convinced you to put things off until after we graduate?"

"Kasumi," Ranma replied, "She thinks it ain't proper, or something, and for once I think she's got a point. After all, how are we even gonna make a living when our house is in a wreck, and Mom doesn't have enough money to make repairs, even after the old woman and Ucchan coughed up for the damages..."

"You mean to say you're thinking about getting a job, Ranma?" now Akane was sure that he was under some kind of bewitchment.

"I'm just saying I don't wanna wind up broke like your father," Ranma replied, "No offense, but I just can't see myself sitting around all day playing shogi while the rest of us are starving. It's a man's place to provide for his family, right? And to do that I'm gonna need at least to get a High School diploma and get rated before I can teach classes in the dojo."

"You are thinking ahead," Akane declared in amazement.

"Didn't think I had it in me, huh?" Ranma smirked in her direction.

"Um...I didn't say that," Akane replied, then paused before touching on a much less pleasant subject, "So...have you also been thinking about the other thing we were talking about the other day?"

It was times such as thing which reminded Akane that Ranma had the worst poker face in creation, because he got instantly wary, defensive and entirely transparent as he replied, "What thing?"

"You know what I mean," she insisted, "Are you going to finally tell of Ucchan and Shampoo so that they'll stop hassling us like they did at our wedding?"

Ranma heaved a sigh and closed his book before rolling on his back and looking up at her, "You really think just telling them off is gonna make 'em quit? They been chasing me for close to two years and they haven't gotten a clue yet, any more than with Kodachi."

"So?" Akane asked stubbornly, "You just haven't told them off in a way that will get the point across. Ranma...do you want to marry me or do you still want to flirt around with those other girls? Can't you at least make your mind up for once about which of us you want to marry?"

"Who said I'm gonna marry any of you?" Ranma frowned, then softened a bit when he saw the hurt in her expression, "Akane...I don't wanna hurt anybody, least of all you, but that mess at the Wedding's just the tip of the iceberg, and we both know it. Just telling them that it ain't gonna happen won't make 'em go away no matter how I tell it. They're gonna have to work it out for themselves sooner or later, but until that happens..."

"I knew it," Akane scowled, "You just want have it both ways and continue to fool around behind my back. I'm not good enough for you because I'm not as cute or domestic as either Shampoo or Ukyo, and you don't like my cooking, so go ahead and say it!"

"Akane," Ranma was on his feet at once, "You ain't being fair! It's only been a few weeks since Shampoo and Ukyo nearly burned my mom's house down because they couldn't stand the idea of me marrying you, you wanna make 'em act really hurt and desperate?"

"They wouldn't be this way if you'd had the guts to stand up to them and tell them the truth a long time ago!" Akane flared, "But NO, you had to play them along and let them think that they had hope, so now they're fixated on the idea of marrying you, and that's why your mother's house got busted. If you'd just be a man and tell those other girls once and for all that there's no way that they're ever going to marry you..."

"Look, can't we just wait on this a little longer?" Ranma pleaded, "At least until after we graduate? What's the rush in doing it now? I thought we agreed that we were gonna let things slide for now..."

"While you continue to plot behind my back with Ukyo and Shampoo?" Akane snorted.

"Man, you are soooo uncute!" Ranma frowned, "I thought you were gonna trust me for once..."

"I'll trust you better when I see some proof that you really do mean to ditch them," Akane insisted, then she softened her tone a bit as she said, "Ranma...I know you want to do the right thing, but can't you see that this isn't being fair to Ukyo, at the very least? She needs to get over you, to learn to move on with her life, to find someone else who can love her the way she wants to be loved. Prolonging things like this just means it will be that much more painful for her to let you go."

Ranma looked away and did not immediately have an answer.

"Ranma," Akane tried again, "You have to at least make her listen to you for once. I know she's your friend, but she's become totally obsessed over you, not that I really believe that she seriously meant to hurt me with that exploding cake, but even you have to admit that got a little over the top..."

Ranma's shoulders slumped in resignation, "You're right...that wasn't called for. Ucchan went too far that time...I just don't know what to do about her. After the wedding fiasco...she looked so hurt and desperate..."

"Go to her and try to explain," Akane urged, "You need to make her understand...and someone like Konatsu is waiting in the wings who can help her over her problem. She deserves to hear it from your lips this time...that you don't want to get married to her, that you're sorry about what your father did and how that business with your engagement was a mistake..."

"Maybe," Ranma reluctantly conceded, then sighed, "All right, I'll go talk to her...but...what about Shampoo?"

"What about her?" Akane said dismissively, "She's just chasing you because of some dumb tradition of her people..."

"I ain't so sure about that," Ranma replied, "But I guess...one step at a time is better than doing it all at once, heh?"

Akane patted him on the shoulder, "I could go along with you if it will help..."

"No," Ranma shook his head, "I know Ucchan, she'd react a lot worse if you were around. Let me do it myself, okay? I'll...let you know how it turns out."

Akane nodded her head in quiet acceptance of this, for once trusting Ranma to clean up his own messes...

"Hello?" Ukyo looked up as she saw a new customer entering her restaurant, "I'll be with you in a minute."

To her surprise the stranger in the long trench coat just walked on up to the grill and sat down without making any comment. He had his face averted for some reason, partially hidden from her view, though there was something strange about him that drew Ukyo's immediate attention.

(He moves like a martial artist,) she realized faintly, (Can't tell how good he is...why isn't he showing me his face...?)

She finished up her customer's order and passed the plate along to the businessman, who expressed delight upon catching the aroma of his okonomiyaki, and then she smiled in satisfaction as he started to gobble it down with enthusiasm. She turned back to the new arrival and asked, "And can I get you anything?"

His voice was oddly muffled as he replied, "What's the house special?"

"Coming right up," Ukyo replied, instantly whipping the ingredients together and hoping to impress this new customer by giving a dazzling display of her rapid-
fire cooking techniques. In less than no time she whipped it up and passed it along to the stranger, who picked his up with one hand and stared at it, lowering his nose to the food and seeming to take a deep breath as though breathing in the flavor.

"Mmmmm...good as I remember," he sighed, and in a few quick bites he gobbled it all down and started licking his fingers, then-still not fully turning towards her-he asked, "May I have another?"

"All right," Ukyo replied, more intrigued than ever as she went to work preparing a second okonomiyaki, but mid-way to finishing its preparation she heard another customer walk into the restaurant, turned and smiled as she saw who it was and immediately brightened, "Ranchan!"

"Eh?" The stranger half-turned, his eyes growing immediately more focused as he saw the younger man taking a seat close near to the one he had taken.

"Give me your special, Ucchan," Ranma urged, though his tone did not seem as cocky or as welcome as it normally did, and-if anything-there was a kind of sadness in his eyes that caused Ukyo to immediately feel caution.

"Ranchan?" she asked as she finished the stranger's okonomiyaki, then set about preparing an almost identical one for her iinazuke, "Is something wrong? You look upset..."

"Yeah...well..." Ranma hesitated, gathering up his resolve, "I just got done talking it over with Akane and...well...Ucchan, you know she's still upset with you about a few weeks ago..."

"Uh...yeah..." Ukyo winced, "About that...I've tried to apologize..."

"It ain't just about that, Ucchan," Ranma sighed, "It's about...a lot of things. The wedding, the engagement, the stuff everybody keeps pulling to try and mess things up, and...and it's gotta stop, Ukyo. I mean it. Everything...the threats, the rivalries, the whole thing. It's been going on too long, and...and I owe it to Akane to make it end. Do you know what I'm saying?"

"No..." Ukyo took a literal step back away from her own cooking, "You...you don't mean that..."

"Ucchan," Ranma looked at her with sincerity in his eyes, "I do mean it...I mean...all of it...the mess at the Wedding was just the final straw. I know you didn't really mean to hurt Akane, but...you and Shampoo lost control there, and you wound up wrecking my Mom's house..."

"I didn't mean for that to happen," Ukyo half-pleaded, "It was a mistake...I offered to pay for the damages..."

"And I know you'll do everything you can to try and make it up to us...to make it up to Akane, to my mother," Ranma replied, "But...there's more to it than that. Back in Jusendo, when I thought Akane...when I thought I'd lost her...I made a promise to myself that I was never gonna let her get hurt that way again...and that means I gotta break it off, Ucchan. It's over...I'm gonna marry Akane."

Ukyo was in tears, heedless of the fact that her customers were watching the melodrama taking place before them, and not caring, "Why...why not me? Why her?"

"I'm sorry," Ranma said, "I never meant to hurt you, but...it's gotta be this way. I know you can't accept it...at least not now...and I know I owe you for what Oyagi pulled, engaging us like that behind my back, but..."

"But you're saying I'm not good enough?" Ukyo wept as misery left her momentarily too weak to feel angry, "You're just abandoned me again, just like you did all those years ago...and you expect me to be happy for you...when you're leaving me with nothing?"

"Ucchan," Ranma tried to think of a way to reassure her, "We'll always be best friends, but..."

All at once the stranger reached out with a hand and took a firm grip of the younger boy by his pig-tail, and without half trying slammed him face-first into the counter, hard enough to render him momentarily quite senseless.

"Been wanting to do that to myself for ages," the stranger grumbled as he coolly watched the younger Ranma slip to the floor like a nerveless puppet, "Stupid, insensitive jerk."

Ukyo blinked her eyes, stunned at the sudden turn of events, and then she turned with widened eyes and stared at the older man, who was no longer hiding his features.

He smiled at her in a too-too familiar manner, his blue eyes much older and sadder looking than she could ever remember seeing in the man she called her iinazuke, and when he spoke his voice was much deeper and far more mellow as he nodded to her and said, "How are you doing, Ucchan? I hope that Jackass wasn't bothering you too much."

It took several attempts on her part to get out the words, "R-R-Ranchan...?"

"In the flesh, so to speak," the older man glanced down at the younger man with a look of disgust, "I always knew I was a snot nosed punk when I was his age, but I never realized I could be that obnoxious, not to mention clueless."

"You...hit him?" Ukyo tried to put it all together.

"Just knocking some sense into the Baka's fool head," Ranma replied, "He was delusional, babbling something incoherent about giving you up for Akane, the Moron. Imagine using a line like that tired old pathetic, 'We'll always be friends,' crap? Even Oyagi wouldn't be that tacky!"

Ukyo wondered if fainting would be a good idea, but since curiosity was getting the best of her she just had to ask, "How...?"

"Shhhh," he brought a finger to her lips to still her question, "It's a kind of magic. What's the matter? Don't I look good with a few more pounds on me? I sure hope I don't look anything like Oyagi..."

"Magic?" Ukyo blinked, "You mean...?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "Time travel's a bitch, what are you gonna do about it? So, were you really gonna just sit there and let that creep get away with insulting your honor like that? The Ucchan I knew would have taken her spatula to his head in no time flat."

"Uh...I was considering it," Ukyo replied, "So...um...what are things like in the future?"

"About the same, if you can overlook a bit of global warming melting the ice caps and flooding a bunch of places," Ranma replied, "Including some place called Florida, which a friend I know from the states calls poetic justice..."

"But...what about...?" Ukyo hesitated, not certain if she wanted to know exactly whom her Ranchan was with in the future.

"Oh, that," the older man said as if he were telepathic, glancing down at the boy before adding, "Why don't we wait until Junior here is back in the land of the living before we get to that part. I've been wanting to have a few words with him on the subject of honor, and this seems as good a time as any."

"All right," Ukyo said meekly, then gasped as the smell of burning okonomiyaki brought her back to her primary business, "Awp! Ranchan's food...!"

"So, throw it out and make another," the older Ranma replied, "That's what you sometimes gotta do in life when something goes bad...throw it out and start all over."

"But...isn't that kind of wasteful?" Ukyo asked as she scraped the burned okonomiyaki off and scrubbed the grill before preparing to make another.

"Kind of," Ranma explained, "But the alternative ain't much better."

"What alternative?" Ukyo asked with dread in her voice and expression.

Ranma looked his old friend squarely in the eye and said, "Ucchan...his problem is he doesn't know what a mistake he's making, and he don't love you the way you want him to...at least not yet. He's still hung up on..." he grimaced a little as he pronounced the name, "Akane."

"So...what are you going to do?" Ukyo asked, round-eyed.

In reply Ranma reached down and picked up his younger self by the scruff of his neck, then hauled him up to shoulder-level and said, "Why, nothing much...just help this guy to clear away a few cobwebs, help him to see the error of his ways and all that. Any objections?"

Ukyo decided that closing her restaurant early might be a very good idea indeed, especially as she watched the older Ranma sling his younger self over one shoulder in a fireman carry while humming an odd tune that sent a chill of grim foreboding down her spine, making her fearful for the fate of Ranma at the hands of...Ranma...

Shampoo came back from a delivery run, only to notice that Mousse was in the duck cage once again, which meant the half-blind fool must have done something to once again annoy her great-grandmother.

"Great-grandmother?" she asked, finding the Elder in question to be no where in immediate view.

"Ah, you're back," Cologne said as she came pogoing on her staff from the back of he restaurant, "Quickly, Shampoo, we must be ready at once to find your wayward husband."

"Ranma is in trouble?" Shampoo asked automatically, though not with much surprise. It seemed her Airen attracted trouble like a sponge did water, and like a dutiful wife she was always eager and ready to ride to his rescue.

"Trouble is an understatement," Cologne said with a somewhat evasive expression, "Early on I had a very odd visit from Son-in-law, and now I have a growing sense that matters are about to come to a head, and that if we don't want to be left behind we have to catch up to him before things irrevocably change forever."

That did alarm Shampoo, and from the sound of things her great-grandmother was genuinely concerned this time, which meant that the threat facing Ranma was even more extraordinary than that to which Shampoo was well accustomed.

She followed her Elder from their restaurant without even a backward glance towards Mousse, who squawked up a piteous storm in protest at being left behind by his fellow Amazons, especially since it meant that his "beloved future bride" was once again becoming ensnared by the lure of Saotome's evil influence. He squawked again at the injustice of it all, then hid a smile that crossed his beak as he remembered that he had weakened the fourth and fifth wooden tines on his cage in advance of just such an imprisonment as he was currently enduring. That gave him just enough leverage to flip the bar that held the door shut on the cage itself, and with that in mind he soon freed himself from captivity...free once again to pursue his vengeance on Ranma, to prove once and for all why he was the better man suited to become Shampoo's lawful husband...

Nabiki was humming a tune to herself as she headed home from the house of a friend, having concluded yet another successful "business transaction" that put some spare money in her hands that she intended to put to very good usage, yes indeed. The family budget was tight, as always, but she could always find a few spare yen to cover her own living expenses, and in the wake of the wedding fiasco she had been forced to cut back on many of her more lucrative sources of income to make allowances for having the Saotomes share a roof living in the dojo. It was the untidiness of having to **explain** to her Aunt Nodoka that put a crimp on things when it came to the general source of house finances. After all, Daddy's trust fund only went so far to provide cover for her usual explanations...

But then she caught sight of something so wildly unusual that she found herself halting in mid-stride and turning to look in the direction of Ucchan's place. A tall guy in a trench coat was walking out the door with Ranma slung over his shoulder, a sight so alarming to Nabiki's way of thinking as to cause her to immediately reschedule the events of her afternoon on the spot.

Whoever the guy manhandling Ranma was he was certainly big, but from where she stood she could not get a good look at his face, only something about his manner that implied the words "hired muscle." Doing her level best to practice stealth and evasion, she followed after the big guy as he carried Ranma over to an open field slightly away from normal traffic and somewhat behind Ukyo's restaurant before setting Ranma down with all the grace of a sack of lumpy potatoes.

Ukyo appeared to quickly follow after this guy, combat spatula in place, which further alarmed Nabiki since the cross-dressing chef did not move to immediately attack Ranma's assailant. Instead she hung back uncertainly as if not knowing what to do about the situation. Further compounding Nabiki's fears about this guy, he stood completely at ease as Ranma started to regain consciousness and struggled to his feet as if recently knocked cold by the trench-coated Muscle.

She dared as much as she could to get close to being within earshot, then listened in as the big man said, "Ready to talk, Sweetheart? If not, we could always do things your way."

"Who...what the hell are you?" Ranma asked as he tried to regain his bearings.

"Take a wild guess," the big man said, "Ever look yourself in a mirror, Saotome?"

"Huh?" Ranma blinked then stammered, "Hey...you...you're like me!"

"Bingo!" the big man pointed a finger, "Give the Rube a prize."

"No way, you can't be me!" Ranma straightened out, by now fully recovered, "Who the hell are you?"

To Nabiki's considerable surprise the man reached into his coat and pulled out a wallet, which same he flashed open before his younger counterpart, "Names Saotome...Inspector Saotome Ranma of the Tokyo Police Department, Special Tasks Unit, Assigned to Precinct 12 of the Shinjuku Ward. Say hello to your future, Bub, because I'm where you're headed at the rate in which you're going, Baka."

"Wh-wha...no way!" Ranma stammered, looking first at the badge and then at the man who held it.

The older Ranma passed his badge along to Ukyo and said, "Ucchan, confirm for my young colleague here whether or not that looks like an official-issue badge of Tokyo's finest. You'll find it's all legal and proper...it just won't be issued yet until the year 2005. Like it or not, I'm the Saotome Ranma you'll know in twenty-or-so years...in other words, your future."

"That can't be!" Ranma flatly stated.

"Oh no?" the older Ranma smiled, "Then there's no such thing as the Nanban mirror either."

"The Nanban...?" Ukyo gasped, "Ranchan...isn't that the artifact that Happosai...?"

"Yeah, so what?" Ranma asked, "You you've heard of it, that don't prove nothing!"

"Then maybe a second witness needs to be called to convince you that I'm the genuine article, Bub," the older Ranma angled his head as he called out over his shoulder, "Come on out, Nabiki, I know that's you skulking around trying to dig up more dirt on this clown!"

"Clown?" Ranma reacted, only to start as he saw Nabiki stumble out into the open with a somewhat guilty expression, "Nabiki?"

"Uh...hi?" Nabiki timidly spoke up as she stared in perverse fascination at a much older version of Ranma, a Ranma in his late thirties who looked remarkably well preserved and even more handsome than his younger counterpart (albeit in a dangerously anti-social kind of way), "I was kind of in the neighborhood and..."

"Come on, Nabiki, I don't bite," the older man said as he turned a nasty look on the girl in question, "Not even little girls who go poking their noses where they ain't wanted. You might as well hear this too since you and your family is as much involved in this as Ucchan. Now, if only certain parties show up on cue, then we can really get things started."

"Started?" Ukyo asked, "Started on what?"

"A good question," the older Ranma replied, "How about if we have a mock-trial here? Me versus Junior here in a case to decide which of us is more worthy to carry the name of Saotome Ranma."

"You're crazy!" Ranma protested.

"Good of you to notice," his counterpart replied, "But what's crazy is that the old Fart who sent me back in time actually thought I might do some good here...but just looking at you I know it ain't possible. You're just as dumb and set in your ways as I was at your age, and you ain't even got a clue about what's about to happen. The biggest crime here would be if I just turned tail and left you to your fate, but since I'm a charitable sort, I'll give you one chance-and only one-to convince me that you really do have a right to mess up your own future."

"Ranchan?" Ukyo felt a chill run down her spine at the grim fatalism of those words, even as Nabiki drew in a sharp breath of fearful anticipation, sensing the seriousness in the other man's demeanor and know that whoever this older Ranma was, he most definitely WAS NOT KIDDING AROUND HERE...

Akane gave a kiia as she shattered a stack of cinder blocks with the blade-edge of her hand, feeling a sense of satisfaction and relief at being able to blow off steam in such a way that always left her feeling mildly exhilarated. She was just starting to get ready to take on the second stack piled up beside it when a familiar voice chimed in, "Why Akane always hit bricks? Bricks never hit Akane, and no fight back like real opponent."

"Shampoo?" Akane bristled, turning to see both young and old Amazon standing to one side in the middle of the Tendo garden, "What are you doing here...?"

"We came to find Son-in-law," Cologne replied, "He's in a great deal more danger than you could possibly realize, Tendo-san, and it's vitally urgent that we locate him at once."

"Ranma's in trouble again?" Akane asked, keeping her eyes upon Shampoo as the purple haired warrior approached her with a mildly amused expression on her exotically beautiful features, "And what do you want, Shampoo?"

"Shampoo always want ask Akane why you think breaking things is good way to train as warrior?" Shampoo asked, turning to the pile of cinder blocks before her and extending one finger to shatter the whole stack as it the deed required no effort, "Even lowly men of Amazon tribe know Breaking Point technique. Is one of most elemental and basic styles of Amazon system. Maybe Akane like to learn sometime...Shampoo much enjoy see her beat head against boulder."

"What, like Ryoga?" Akane blinked, then bristled, "Hey!"

"There's no time for that, Shampoo," Cologne softly chided, "Tendo-san, do you happen to know where Son-in-law was headed when you last saw him?"

"Well...yeah..." Akane frowned, "He was going over to talk to Ukyo at her place..."

"Then that is where we must be," Cologne turned about and headed for the garden gate, "Good day to you, Tendo-san."

"Wait!" Akane called out, "If Ranma's in trouble, then maybe I can help..."

"Is no likely," Shampoo scoffed, "Maybe Akane just want to get kidnapped again so Airen can come rescue..."

"No," Cologne replied, "I think this is sufficiently important that you should be included, Miss Tendo, if that is what you want."

Akane tightened the obi on her belt and said, "Of course it's what I want...it's what I'm trained to do as a martial artist."

Shampoo just made a noise at that, but Cologne gently scolded her and she immediately subsided. Without even bothering to change out of her martial arts gear Akane followed after them as they headed from the dojo, causing the two fathers to look up from their most recent game of shogi.

"It sounds ominous, Saotome," Soun remarked with a faint sense of foreboding.

"Indeed, Tendo...I think we ought to go after them, just to be sure that nothing bad happens to the boy," Genma agreed.

"Oh my," Kasumi remarked as she appeared with a tea tray in both hands, "Is Ranma-kun in trouble again?"

"My son is in some danger?" Nodoka looked up from her embroidery work, which she carefully set to one side before reaching for her katana, "Then I suggest we not waste time here, not unless we want to lose sight of Elder Cologne and the others."

And-as this was happening back at the Tendo estate-yet another voice much nearer to the Furinkan Financial district was raised with an all-too-familiar question, "Where am I now? And how do I get from here to Akari's?" though in the latter case this has no immediate bearing to this story...

"A trial?" Nabiki asked, "Are you serious?"

"What, I don't look serious to you?" the older Ranma asked, "Take my word for it, I've been on trial nearly every day of my life, especially since this day, when the Twit here let himself be egged on by your sister to have a serious break up with Ucchan, which I decided needed interrupting this turn of the cycle."

"You've changed your past?" Ukyo asked, "Isn't that...like...dangerous or something?"

"It's uncharted territory for me," the older Ranma replied, "But I'm willing to risk it to keep history as I know it from coming about. Everything right up to this day is exactly as I remember it...but now that I'm talking to myself and get a chance to rag on about what a mistake I made twenty years ago, I figure it's worth messing up the timeline...or whatever it is that you do with the Nanban."

"Hey, like I'm supposed to take any of this at face value or something?" the younger Ranma fumed, "How do I even know that you're really me from the future? For all I know you're another trick like that mirror thing that created a doppelganger of me..."

"The one that tried to seduce you?" the older Ranma said, "I remember that...in fact, I remember everything in your life up to about fifteen minutes back. Don't you get it? You're me! I know everything about you, what you're thinking, how you're feeling, what you think your life should be all about and the length which you're willing to go in order to make it happen. Ain't nothing about you that'll surprise me, Junior...but there's a lot about me that'll knock your socks off, especially the part that happens after I go and marry Akane."

"You married Akane?" Ukyo gasped.

"Over my dead body!" Ranma snorted.

Nabiki just gave a pitying look at the younger version of Ranma then turned to the older one and said, "Maybe you should give us a little more proof that you actually come from the future. I mean...no offense or anything, but it's a little hard to credit that Ranma became a Cop..."

"What would you like to know?" Ranma-future smirked, "The major events of history, who winds up becoming Prime Minister in a couple of years, or the Tokyo Stock Exchanges...or maybe you'd like to know who won the Winter Olympics when they get held in Japan in a few years from now? Did you know the Emperor himself asked me to participate?"

"What?" Nabiki, Ukyo and Ranma all three replied together.

"Yeah, how fleeting is fame, huh?" the older Ranma sniffed, "Nowadays I can't even get myself arrested. My life's pretty much been in the toilet over the last decade when I've been burying my nose in work and trying to forget everything that happened before the courts served me my divorce papers..."

"Divorce papers?" Nabiki repeated.

"Yeah, what's the matter, Tendo?" the older Ranma said, "You're the one who scoffs at the idea of two people living happily ever after. Surprised to find out that not all marriages wind up chipper and happy? Lots of marriages go bad after a few years...mine lasted almost eight, which makes it a bit longer than the average."

"You married Akane...and then you divorced her?" Ukyo scowled.

"I didn't divorce nobody," the older Ranma replied, "It was Akane's decision, I just didn't put up no fight about it."

"Well, maybe you should have, jerk!" Ranma snarled, "I sure would have!"

"Yeah, I know, I would have too if I hadn't been through enough hell just fighting to hold it together," the older Ranma scoffed, "You think I'd ever walk away from any marriage I worked so hard to get into? Believe me, I did everything I could think of and more to head it off, but...there just comes a time when you realize that you can't get any percentages from hitting your head against the same rock. I ain't even seen my two kids since the divorce became final, except maybe to wave at little Meiko-chan when she goes to martial arts tournaments."

"You have kids?" Ukyo asked in amazement.

"Two of 'em, both girls," the older Ranma replied, "Akane got full custody...maybe I should have fought harder to keep at least one of 'em to train as my apprentice."

"But I don't understand," Nabiki said, "Why would Akane marry and then divorce you...and with children...?"

"It's a long and bloody painful story," the older Ranma glanced away, "I won't bother you with the details, but it was my own bloody fault. We just grew apart over time, and then Akane went on to attend college courses in another part of town and I tried running things out of the dojo...well, I found out just how much I was over my fool head. Kasumi had moved on, so I wound up playing housekeeper and Mom to our Pops and our two daughters. I only got to see Akane on weekends, and we never had enough time to spend on one another, and then I started getting paranoid and real suspicious. It was like when she was always suspecting me of cheating on her...and when I saw her spending time with a guy she met in her tennis classes...I went a little berserk and attacked the guy. It was the last straw on top of a whole slew of other really bad decisions..."

"I don't get it," the younger Ranma said, "How could you have let something like that happen?"

"It was easy," Inspector Saotome replied, "You'd have done the same things in my place...hell, you did do all of that...or will. I'm living proof of it, and if you doubt me, just wait around and see what happens."

"But he might still make different choice than you have," Nabiki pointed out, "It's not absolutely guaranteed that he'll turn out exactly like you..."

"A fair point," Ranma turned and gave a nasty little smile as he viewed the middle Tendo sister, "And you're just the one to make it for me. You wanna talk about a series of bad decisions? Let's talk about who sent out the invitations that wrecked the first attempt at a wedding Akane and me attempted."

Nabiki winced slightly, but she held her ground and said, "Okay...so maybe I was a little careless about who I invited..."

"The hell you were," the older Ranma said, "You were just trying to stir up trouble, like always, and make a fast buck for yourself on the sly. Y'know, I never really did thank you for that. You gave me a chance to rethink this whole marriage deal, a chance I screwed up when I decided to commit myself to marrying Akane."

"But why?" Ukyo asked, "Why her and not me?"

The older Ranma sighed and said, "Ucchan...I really can't explain that part. I've been asking myself the same thing over and over again for the last decade-
plus-change! You wanna know the simple truth, Oyagi never intended to carry though on our engagement. You know what he's like, why he did what he did, and how he tries to cover up for it by pretending that he made an honorable choice between claims, the Tendo suit being the only one he considers valid. Me? I was an idiot...I went along with his schemes, just like I always did, no matter how many times I told myself that I knew better."

"Hey!" the younger Ranma protested, "Pop made that stupid engagement without asking me about it one way or the other!"

"Yeah?" Inspector Saotome did not look at all impressed, "Then why go along with either claim? You got any idea what pain, humiliation and suffering Ucchan went through because of us? First her Pop tries to give her away like used goods, then we abandoned her along the side of the road like she didn't matter, and then her Pop up and dies on her, leaving her to the mercy of her step-mother and a couple of step-sisters who think she's excess baggage. She goes off to live with relatives, starts dressing like a boy and trains real hard to get revenge on us, then forces Pop to become her legal guardian so she can open her restaurant while pursuing us, only we convince her to give up on revenge and give her hope that she could recover her lost honor and finally get to be a real woman!"

"Hey, I didn't know about any of this back then!" the younger Ranma protested.

"No," his older counter part scoffed, "You only knew Ucchan as a friend and you just assumed she was a boy, then you found out she was a girl, and that she was your cute iinazuke...and what did you tell yourself about that?"

The younger Ranma looked sourly at his older counterpart, but then turned a somewhat pained look in Ukyo's direction.

"You see?" his counterpart remarked, "You were thinking of her as a guy even after you found out the truth, Jerk! It took you a while to shift those mental gears and start thinking of her as the really cute girl we both know her to be, and even then you just kept telling yourself that your engagement to her was all in her head, that it really didn't matter!"

"What?" Ukyo reacted, "Ranchan...is this true?"

"What do you think?" Nabiki replied as she stared at the younger Saotome, "He's just been too much of a wimp to have the guts to tell you that to your face."

"HEY!" the younger Ranma protested.

"He tried to tell you lots of times that he was more interested in being your friend than your fianc e," the older Ranma explained, "But a funny thing happened over the years...I started to think maybe you were a better choice than the one I'd made. Too bad it took me too long to figure that out, because by the time I was free to make another choice, you'd already found somebody else...a guy who treated you better than I ever did, and who never doubted that you were a woman."

"And who is that?" Nabiki asked.

"You think I wanna tell her?" the Inspector shrugged, "I hate the guy because he's less of a jerk than I ever was, but he made Ucchan happy, so I lost out with her double-time because I was too stupid to know what I had when I was with Ucchan."

"I'd never leave you for another guy, Ranchan," Ukyo insisted, "I can't believe that I'd ever change my mind about that..."

"Don't be so sure," the Inspector cautioned, "Eight years can mean a lot of history, and you were always pretty ambitious, Ucchan. It was something else I liked about you...your independence, the way you could always handle yourself, even when you agreed to a merger with the Crepe Creep..."

"The Crepe King?" Ukyo blanched, "Tell me you're kidding, Ranchan! You can't mean that..."

"Hey, would you rather it was Konatsu?" Ranma asked, "He worships the ground you walk on, and despite the cross-dressing thing, I think he'd make a halfway decent husband."

"Or a wife," Nabiki remarked with a faintly disquieted expression.

"I don't believe any of this!" the younger Ranma insisted, "You're telling me if I marry Akane I'll wind up a bitter old creep like you?"

"Oh yeah," the older Inspector assured him, "Because deep down you know, just like I do, that all we're good for is fighting and beating people up, but when it comes to making a good marriage, we're clueless."

"And you think it's because you married Akane and not somebody else?" Nabiki asked.

"I don't know that it would have made a difference who I married," Ranma said, "But I think it would have been different...with Ucchan, with Shampoo...hell, maybe even with Kodachi! The problems with the Tomboy started because we were too much alike, both stubborn as mules and pig-headed to boot, but with her lack of feminine qualities she needed special handling, and all I ever did was ride on her and make her feel less like a woman. I guess when push comes right down to shove, though, I was a pretty piss poor offering for any girl to make into a husband..."

"I wouldn't say that," Ukyo quietly affirmed, "I always knew you had your faults, Ranchan, but I never expected you to be anything but what you are...were...whatever."

"I know that now, Ucchan," the older Ranma sighed, "But I guess what I'm really saying deep down is...I turned out more like my Pop than I'd ever have believed when I was this dickless clod here."

"You son of a bitch!" Ranma finally lost his temper and took a swing at the older man, only to have the taller Ranma effortlessly dodge him, right before slamming a fist into his gut and knocking the wind out of the sails of the younger Ranma.

"Are you out of you empty, fool head, Baka?" the older Ranma said as he shook the younger man like a leaf, "I don't just look like you, I AM YOU! I've got twenty more years of hard experience under my belt and I know all your moves, while you don't even know half the stuff that I've been picking up along the way..."

"Take it easy, Ranchan," Ukyo urged, "He doesn't know any better..."

"Yeah," Nabiki urged, "What are you attempting to prove here? That you can beat up on a guy who's half your size and weight?"

"I can handle him," Ranma grunted as he shook off the older man's grip, then fell into a defensive crouch and said, "Let do it, Old Man...let's see if you're so tough, you loser!"

"That's exactly what I am, Fool," the older man said without sounding the least bit impressed, "A loser...and fighting a loser's a fool proposition 'cause I got less to lose than you, so don't be a Baka all your life. It ain't worth it throwing it all away by calling me out."

"Huh?" the younger Ranma said, "I don't get you..."

"Take a good look at me, Boy," the older Ranma said soberly, "I got no life, I got no family, I got no future, I got a job I'm good at, but it's just one long endless X-file handling the weirdest cases that come across my desk. I've seen stuff so horrifying you'd think that little skirmish you had with Saffron was a walk in the park, and you think it hurt when Akane almost died trying to protect us? You don't know what pain is...or loss for that matter. I deal with the dregs of civilization and I've seen the dark underside that hides beneath the fa ade most people laughingly call 'real life.' I've LIVED more in the last twenty years than you've seen in the last two since you left Jusenkyo, so don't cop a 'tude with me, you Snot-Nosed, know-nothing little Punk! I bust fools like you for breakfast!"

"Yeah?" the younger Ranma said, "Then why didn't it work for you and Akane?"

The older man's shoulders slumped, "Different desires, different choices, different paths. We walked together for a while, then we parted ways. You want a more detailed explanation than that, just try living with the Tomboy without the pretense that you don't really care about her...when every little decision you make gets scrutinized, cross-examined and put under the microscope, and you never quite measure up to her high standards."

"Was Akane really that hard to live with?" Nabiki asked with lifted eyebrows.

"Not all the time," Ranma said, "Some of it was good...and those were times when I would have picked her and nobody other. But then we'd fight over little things that didn't seem to mean all that much...only they add up over time...and then Akane up and announced that she wanted to go back to school, and that's when it got really, really painful."

"Why did Akane want to go back to school?" Ranma asked.

"Is it any real surprise?" the Inspector said sadly, "You know she had better grades than we did in high school...she actually liked to study, and she was doing pretty good when she gave it up to be a housewife..."

"Guess that didn't work out either, huh?" Ukyo asked with a sniff.

"To put it mildly, it was a disaster," the older Ranma sighed, "Oh, Akane tried hard to make a go of it, and she got lots of coaching from Kasumi...she even learned to cook halfway decent with lots of practice, just as soon as she learned not to experiment so much or skip on reading the details off of menus. I think she had some kind of mental block or something against turning into a domestic, but she did it all to impress me, and for a while we were so happy. The day when we had our first daughter and I held her in my hands...I wouldn't have traded it for anything. How was I to know it would all get taken away from me in a few short years? And all because I was too dumb to see it until it happened!"

"So what's to keep Ranma now from changing his path away from what you've become?" Nabiki asked, then paused before adding, "He can change his future, right? It's not fixed and predetermined..."

"You'd better hope it ain't, Tendo," the older Ranma paid her a nasty smirk, "You know, they never did find your body, and I know, I read the reports after I became a cop and started checking into your disappearance."

"What?" Nabiki paled, wondering if she had heard him just right.

"And you know what I think happened?" Ranma continued, "You pissed off the wrong guy, maybe stuck your nose in where it wasn't wanted, and they weren't impressed with that freckless Tendo Ice Queen image you like to present...all they saw was a pretty girl in over her head, and they snatched you up and sold you to some bitch-queen of a White Slaver, to never be heard from again by anyone who even cared to notice you were missing."

Nabiki was visibly shaken as she said, "You're lying..."

"Nabiki," the Inspector smiled indulgently, "You know me...have I ever been any good at lying around you?"

"N-No..." Nabiki gasped, "I can't accept that..."

"Whatever," the older Ranma shrugged, "Like you say, it probably won't happen...unless you make the same mistakes with your future."

"What mistakes?" Nabiki all but demanded.

"Now that would be telling," the Inspector smiled, "And we wouldn't want to be tampering with the future, now would we?"

"RANMA!" Nabiki said archly.

"What I would say is that you could try being more careful about who you deal with in the future," the future Ranma remarked, "And maybe if you didn't work so hard at forcing people not to like you, you could even have some friends to call on when you get yourself in trouble. I didn't even find out you were missing until it was too late to follow your trail, and if Shampoo had been around to use her tracking skills..."

"What?" Ranma of the present asked, "What happened to Shampoo?"

"A lot you care," the Inspector snorted, "You never even gave her the time of day when she was around, and to you she was just this really weird chick with this awful curse and this violent obsession about marrying me...and what are a few quaint laws from a Barbarian from China next to an oath between parents, right?"

"Hey!" Ranma protested, "It ain't like that!"

"No?" the Inspector asked, "Just admit it to yourself, you never really took her serious when she hugged you and said that she loved you, and so what if she called you her husband, right? She only cared about you because you beat her in a fight, right? So she wasn't really serious about you, never loved you for yourself, just wanted you for a trophy husband, right? Isn't that what you've been telling yourself these last two years, you MORON?!"

"What are you shouting at me for?" Ranma said, "I never did nothing to Shampoo..."

"You did everything to her, Fool," the Inspector glared at his younger counterpart, "You dishonored her in her homeland, rejected her in the eyes of her family and friends, cast her aside as if the laws of her people meant nothing to you, like she was nothing in your eyes! Oh sure, you never tried to encourage her or lead her on or nothing, but the result was still the same...you didn't even think twice about turning her down in favor of Akane, who wasn't even real competition to her. You made her look like an inferior, and you never even thought that she'd have to face the consequences of being made to look like a fool in the eyes of her people? Do you know that she'll never be able to go back home and live a normal life because of you? And that she'll eventually wind up forced to choose a loveless marriage to someone else in order to redeem the lost honor of her family...and all because to you she was NOTHING!"

"That's not true!" Ranma said, "I never meant anything bad to happen to Shampoo..."

"Yeah, and look how good intentions served me out," Inspector Saotome snorted, "I used to think it was enough that you genuinely loved somebody, that if you cared enough that love would conquer everything and erase all obstacles. Love conquers all, right? So if I loved Akane hard enough I could get by with all the good and bad stuff, that no matter what happened we'd stick to each other through thick and thin. Funny thing is...since becoming a Cop, I've seen first hand where that thinking usually leads. A lot of broken lives and broken families start out with everyone thinking that love is gonna last forever. Call me cynical or call me tired, but I don't think like that anymore. I now know that love takes a lot of hard work and some personal sacrifice, and it's gotta go both ways...you can't just give love without getting it back...and one side of a marriage ain't enough to keep the whole thing together...ain't that right, Great-grandmother?"

He turned a knowing glance to one side, compelling the others to do likewise, at which point they became aware of Cologne, Shampoo, Akane and the parents, along with a much-concerned Kasumi, all of them looking on with mutually astonished and concerned expressions, but none moreso than Akane herself, who looked from the older Ranma to the younger one and back again with frank disbelief added to her expression.

"Ranma...and Ranma?" Akane asked, "Is this true?"

"Aiyaa..." Shampoo averred, "Is two Ranma...one older than other!"

"Ranma?" Nodoka stared at the older one, "What is going on here?"

"Two Ranmas?" Soun was as mystified as any other.

"The Boy's in two places at one time," Genma noted, "Talk about paradoxes, and one of them's old enough to be a father himself."

"Oh my," came the inevitable summary by Kasumi.

"You guys?" the younger Ranma blanched, "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to hear much of the gist of your conversation," Cologne revealed, viewing the older man through half-lidded eyes, "And you, Son-in-law...did it feel good to finally get all that out into the open?"

"Yeah," the older man shrugged his shoulders, "Pretty good...like I've carrying this weight around with me for so much time...and maybe I do feel a few kilos lighter."

"But...Ranma?" Nodoka said of the older man, who actually seemed close enough to her age that she could have called him a brother, "What...why are you here...?"

"I'm from the future, Mom," the older man said with surprising respect in his voice, "And I'm gonna have to go back sometime very soon. I just wanted a chance to come back and warn you people about where you're headed, what you're doing to mess things up in my past. I don't expect you to understand...but...it's got something to do with a word I almost never use on myself these days...honor."

"Honor?" Genma spoke the word as though it had an unfamiliar feeling the way his son had used it.

"Or maybe Pride," Ranma briefly looked at Akane, then made a point of looking away from her, but in that one brief glance managed to convey a wealth of pain, regret and loss that caused the younger Tendo girl to feel as if hands of ice had just traveled up and down her spine, "But the word I really wanna use here is...Giri."

"Giri?" Shampoo blinked her eyes, "Is Japanese word for Honor, yes?"

"Obligation," Cologne corrected, "The repayment of a debt or commitment that requires dedication and even self-sacrifice for a greater good."

"And one other word," the Ranma of the future noted, "Ningyo...compassion. The two ain't necessarily one in the same, but in this case they are. I got a problem here...a real problem caused by very bad and foolish choices made by me and those who came before me that caused a lot of pain and suffering and needless hardship that didn't have to be...and all because somebody confused the word Honor with the word Pride. It's family pride I'm talking about, or maybe something more like Ego for an insensitive jerk who only thought of me like a meal ticket and used me to con his way into getting what HE wanted."

"Now Son," Genma said nervously, glancing sidelong at his wife, "Aren't you being a little hasty here? You know that I always..."

"I ain't talking about you, Oyagi," the Inspector leveled his stare right past his father to the man standing next to him, "I'm talking about you, Tendo-san. I'm talking about a man who sells his daughter into possible marriage with some guy he's never met just so he can keep the dojo in the family and pass on the family name...by forcing me to give up my own when I married Akane."

"What?" Soun asked, surprised at the accusing tone and stare of the man whom he thought of as his natural successor.

"Didn't think I knew about the little surprise you two hatched up for me, did you, Mister Tendo?" the older Ranma replied, "You and Pop planned on telling me after the ceremony that I was gonna have to give up my name as Saotome and take up your family name as Tendo Ranma."

"What?" his younger counterpart reacted.

"Dad?" Akane looked at her father, "Is this true?"

"Oh my," Nodoka murmured faintly.

"I did it too," the older Ranma continued, "Because you convinced me a name was just a small thing to give up for the sake of helping Akane carry on your family's name and traditions. Well, guess what? It ain't a small thing to me anymore. Back when I was on the road my name was the only thing that was mine, the only thing I had which nobody else could ever take from me. Even Ryu Kumon never got away with that, but you made me give it up for the sake of your family pride. I was only useful for you as long as I could be the son you never had on your own, the one you could give away the dojo as a dowry to...well, guess what? It's now in the name of my two daughters, and I hope it makes them happier than I ever was when I tried to use the thing to teach martial arts classes."

"You mean that didn't work out either?" Nabiki asked faintly.

"What do you think?" the older Ranma asked, "To get a license to teach I had to get a diploma, and then I had to go sucking up to the old lech in order to earn the right to teach Musubetsu Kakuto Ryu. When I had my license and started to teach, you and me got into a real argument over how to take in students, Mister Tendo, and then you flatly insisted that it was your dojo and I was going to teach according to your rules no matter what! So much for me being your successor, huh?"

"He wouldn't try to do that to me," the younger Ranma shook his head, looking at Soun with a questioning glance, "Would he?"

"So you see, Mom," the older man said without answering the question, "Family Pride and family honor don't mean a whole lot to me anymore. I'm through playing the patsy just 'cause other people think they can order me around, like I don't got no say about how I should live my own life. If you think it's dishonorable or unmanly, fine...I'll live with that, just don't expect me to lay down and go quietly when somebody tells me that I gotta fulfill some other guy's ideas about honor. I fought for the right to get my name back, and that's something I'm keeping no matter what anybody else says. I'm Saotome Ranma, and I'll be that until the day I croak!"

"Ranma," his mother said with emotion in her voice, "Do you really mean that...your life...has been damaged by your honor?"

"No, not my honor," Ranma shook his head, "I ain't acted honorably since the day I stopped calling myself a Tendo. But now I think I finally know what honor means again, and it took a trip through memory lane here to remind me. So...no offense, Mister Tendo, but screw you, and screw your stupid promise to unite our families and schools together."

Soun looked stricken, "You don't really mean that!"

"Yes I do," the older Ranma said, more tired than angry, turning to eye his younger counterpart with a frank decision, "Your call what you do from here on out, Junior. Go ahead and mess your life up all you want, it's up to you to decide where to go from here. Tell you what, though...I'll make it easier on you by removing at least one of your choices."

"Huh?" the younger Ranma blinked his eyes, not understanding what was going on in the least.

The Inspector turned to Ukyo and said, "Ucchan...you always were my best friend. In a short while you'll get accepted into a business school and then you can go on to get a degree and turn your place into a profitable business. Given all that, I know you got a happy future waiting ahead for you...just like I know you'd give it all up if I asked you to. You'd never try forcing me to be something I could never be, just like I'd never ask you to be anything other than my good buddy, Ucchan."

"Ranchan," Ukyo's tone wavered a bit as she stared up at the powerful man with a clear sense that this was what her iinazuke would look like down the road, and deciding that he was more than worth the wait.

Then the Ranma-who-was-to-be turned the force of his piercing blue eyes away from her and looked at the other fianc e present, and in a voice that softened even more he said, "But there's someone else who ain't got the same kind of prospects you have, somebody I've been neglecting and taking advantage of since she first came to Nerima, somebody I never really appreciated for herself, and who's been loyal to me in ways I never asked for, and never really expected. Shampoo...do you want to know what's in your future?"

The purple haired Amazon stared with very round eyes as the tall and lordly man took a step towards her, followed by another as he approached her at a slow and easy gait, pausing only when he was a few feet away from her before looking down with pain and longing in his expression.

"Shampoo...Xian Pu," he said with great emotion in his eyes and bearing, "Look at me...really look at me, the real me, and not just what you see on the surface. I ain't got much to offer...I'm just a broken down old fool who makes a living busting up the bad guys. In the time I come from life can be pretty hard, but I made a pretty decent living. Don't have much of a home life...nothing to come back to but a cold apartment and some housecats..."

"C-C-Cats?" the younger Ranma gulped audibly.

"Yeah...took me a few years to get over my ailurophobia," the future Ranma replied, "The cats belonged to a...friend I knew...and I take care of them. Like I said, ain't much of a life, but I'd be willing to share it...if I ever found the right girl...especially if we were already married by the laws of her people."

Shampoo just stared at the tall man with rounded eyes, almost daring not to hope that what he seemed to be saying to her was not a trick of her poor grasp of Japanese. Her mouth hung open as if waiting to hear him say the words she longed to hear him say.

"Xian Pu," he continued, "Think carefully before you decide to say yes or to tell me to take a hike, but I want you to come back with me...if that's what you really want. I'm willing to give you back your honor and to accept you as my wife...but only if you can forgive me for being such an idiot all those years...MMMMPPPHHH!"

He got no further than that before Shampoo impulsive leaped forward to embrace him, throwing her arms around him as she pulled him in for a kiss that effectively curtailed any further attempt on his part to make a further proposition.

"SHAMPOO ACCEPT!" she cried as their lips finally parted, even as his arms moved to hold her up as she wrapped her lithe legs around his waist and hung from his neck with their faces all but touching.

"Wo ai ni," Ranma declared with great solemnity.

"Wode Airen," she replied with an impish, girlish expression.

"So heard and witnessed by the Elders of Joketsuzoku," Cologne pronounced formally, making a reverent hand gesture, "Congratulations, Son-in-law...and may I add, about time?"

"Yeah, sorry I didn't do this sooner," Ranma said as she rested his forehead against Shampoo's and the two of them drank in each others eyes, "This is the choice I shoulda made to begin with..."

"HEY!" both Ranma and Akane said together.

"Buzz off, Junior," the older Ranma said, "You had your chance, now she's mine, and you're gonna have to fight me if you want her back."

"Y'know something," Ukyo murmured to Akane, "I don't know if I should be real happy for those to...or get seriously offended."

"Heh, serves the pervert right," Akane glowered, though her pretence to sullen outrage was less than entirely convincing.

"Now see here, Son," Soun spoke up, "Are you rejecting my daughter in the place of this...foreigner?"

"Dad...!" Akane started to say when her combat instincts began to prickle.

"HANDS OFF MY BRIDE, SAOTOME!" cried a familiar voice as Mousse came vaulting down from a nearby building, already flashing weapons from his sleeves as he launched into an attack...

...And fell senseless to the sidewalk, wrapped up like a mummy in his own chains and weapons.

"Aiyaa," Shampoo softly remarked as she stared at unconscious Amazon boy, amazed at the ease with which her Airen had dispatched him, having only briefly let go of her long enough to free his hands and then moving with a speed that even she had trouble observing.

"I thought I told you to keep that thing under house arrest," Ranma spoke scornfully at his defeated rival.

"My apologies, Son-in-law," Cologne replied, "I will try in the future to be more careful."

"Won't be much point after we leave," Ranma turned back to his younger self and said, "You'll probably have to put up with him harassing you for a while longer...Mousse never could get a clue if his life depended on it. He was even willing to take Shampoo into a loveless marriage for the sake of salvaging her name and honor. If it wasn't for him the other Elders would have been real trouble about her failure to nail her airen. She tried putting up with his clumsy attempts at being a good husband, but in the end it was too much for her and she dropped into hiding. I never did find out what happened to the Shampoo of my world after that, but...somehow I don't think she's around any more...so...that kind of creates an opening, and I'm hoping maybe you'll be able to fill that, Airen."

"Shampoo will try," the purple haired Amazon said while glomping onto her man once again, "No, better than try...Shampoo will do this."

"Then what are we waiting around here for?" Ranma asked, turning to Cologne, "Granny?"

Cologne extended the Nanban mirror with a faint not of respect, "Good luck to you, Son-in-law. I hope that you both have many children."

"We'll name one of them after you, Granny," Ranma replied as he took back the mirror, "And don't worry, I'll make sure she continues her training in the Amazon arts. After all, our kids should have respect for traditions...huh? Xian Pu...why are you crying?"

"Shampoo so happy," the Amazon replied, "And is needed for mirror, yes?"

With that she dabbed one eye with a finger then touched the resulting drop against the mirror, activating its power while those nearest to them took a step beyond its immediate range.

"Take us home," Ranma directed, keeping a firm grip of his new bride as though unwilling to allow her out of his reach. Mere moments later the ripples of the mirror caused both he and Shampoo to disappear, leaving behind a very confused gathering of the families of Saotome and Tendo...

"So...that's your official report, huh?" the Lieutenant remarked as he scanned the data-pad before him, "Guess we close the file on that Panty thief of yours. Anything else in his collection that might cause trouble for our lab boys?"

"Just a few stolen items," Inspector Saotome replied, "I've itemized them and given a complete list, and I'm going to have them personally hand delivered to the parties they belong to. Not much else of value, unless you count a ball of lingerie five meters high as some kind of World Record phenomenon, or something."

"Heh, maybe a local museum would be interested in it as a sample of modern art," the lieutenant replied, "Good work helping them tie up a few loose ends. Guess that means I can give you a more meaningful assignment this time. We've been having reports of local Beast trouble in the lower district..."

There was a light rapping at the door to their office, and the lieutenant frowned as he saw the officer of the watch poke his head in through the gap, "I thought I made it clear that we were not to be disturbed..."

"Sorry, Lieutenant," the junior officer said to the detectives, "But there's a Mrs. Saotome who says she's here to bring her husband his lunch?"

"A Mrs. Saotome?" the lieutenant looked at the Inspector with a quizzical expression, "You got your mother doing deliveries now?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" Ranma smiled, "I recently got married. Better let my wife in, she has a way of making an entrance if she doesn't get her way."

The lieutenant was about to question that when a beautiful young girl-possibly all of eighteen-pushed her way past the junior watch officer and said a cheery, "Nihao...Airen, you go to work this morning, you no take your lunch."

"Sorry about that, Honey," Ranma smiled as the beautiful girl bent down to kiss him, further stunning the lieutenant, "Guess I was in a hurry to get to work after we overslept. Won't happen again..."

"Better not or Shampoo come looking for Airen," the purple haired beauty smiled at the lieutenant before turning and exiting the room, leaving only stunned silence in her passage.

Finally the lieutenant managed to glare at Ranma and say, "How does a Mug like you rate a dish like that, Saotome?"

"Kami knows, I've never been able to figure it out myself," Ranma smiled back, "But I guess you can chalk it up to clean living."

"Yeah, right," said Lieutenant Kyosuke, knowing that one did not have to be psychic to sense that the other man was keeping family secrets once again, but deciding that there were some mysteries for which even he did not want to know the answer...

Continued?

Comments/Criticisms/Changing Dynamics: shadowmane

Inspired (in part) by some recent arguments concerning the fitness of the various fianc es and the reasons why Ranma might choose one above the other. I have tried to steer this one as close to canon as possible while making a few nods towards Fanfic conventions where needed. Ranma's comments regarding Ukyo's childhood upbringing were broadly hinted at in an episode of the Anime series when a coach Negumo outlines his idea of why she has turned out the way she did. The rest is my venting some personal opinions and pet peeves on the appropriateness of the Ranma/Akane (as opposed to Ukyo and Shampoo) pairings, and you can freely disagree with my rather gloomy assessment. As I don't like to do darkfics, you can classify this one as a Greyfic-borderline-Sadfic (with an appropriately happy ending).

Jim R. Bader 05/30/01

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