A.N. I don't own SVU. Just something I thought up after watching the episode. I should also add that this takes place towards the end of the episode where Olivia spends the night with Alex before the trial.

Ghost: An Addendum

"You didn't see this file."

It couldn't be.

Alex took the manila folder, catching the unease on Olivia's face. Once again, the detective put her career in jeopardy. Alex opened it, smirking at the ammunition in Liam Connors's past. She never went to court unprepared, prosecutor or witness, and now she wouldn't have to. "Thank you, Liv."

Olivia smiled. "I'm glad you're back."

A moment of silence hung between them. Olivia turned to the window, her eyes scanning over the cityscape she'd seen many times. Intrigued, Alex couldn't help but watch her and smile. Closing the file, she put it on the windowsill and took a chance, pulling Olivia into a hug. It only took a moment for her to realize her mistake as Olivia stiffened, hesitating before she returned the embrace.

Warm fingertips rested at the base of her neck. Alex furrowed her brow at how her heart beat against her chest at their closeness.

A sudden punch to her back, knocking the wind out of her. Unspeakable pain overwhelming her body, pulsing incessant.

Alex's grip tensed around the woman in her grasp, but she tried not to cling too desperately. From over Olivia's shoulder, her eyes burned as memories from that awful night surfaced. She never thanked her, but without Liv she would've bled out long before the paramedics arrived.

Hands pressed to her shoulders and forced her back as Olivia backed out of the hug, wiping a tear from her eye as she walked away and took a seat on the couch.

Longer hair and a softer gaze. Things had changed about Liv, yet the familiarity between them lasted, as they picked up right where they left off almost two years ago.

"Alex, it's okay Alex, Alex look at me…"

Alex, that was her name, not Emily. No matter how hard she tried to assume her new role, it wasn't her. The suburbs? No, not for her. While it was peaceful, it was too stilted and—dare she say—fake; a peace too good to be true. And the insurance agency? God no, she was a prosecutor who belonged between the stuffy walls of the courthouse, testing the blood in the water before striking.

Sadness crept into her eyes as she watched the detective hang her head. "I heard you."

Olivia looked up, their eyes connecting. "Heard me say what?"

"…My mind was going haywire..." Alex turned to the window, speaking soft with her arms hugged across her chest. "What I remember most was the pain, excruciating pain, like I'd never felt." She breathed out the recollection of agony, her eyes watering at the horrid memory. "And your hand..." Alex closed her eyes with a squeeze as she remembered Olivia's palm pressing unforgivingly into the wound. She opened her eyes, catching a stray tear that fell from a corner. "I know you were trying to save me, but it hurt so much."

Alex looked to Olivia; the detective's mouth slightly agape and her brown eyes wide, almost horrified at hearing the admission.

Heaviness seeped into the room and Alex smiled acquiescently, realizing she'd soured the mood. "But it wasn't like I could protest." She continued anyway. It felt good, releasing the weight she'd carried on her shoulders for too long.

"Alex…" She heard the guilt in Olivia's voice as the detective's brow turned up at the inward corners.

"Do you know what it's like to feel paralyzed, to be terrified that something's happening to your body and you can't do anything?"

Olivia's jaw clenched and she looked to her folded hands resting idly in her lap, not bothering to fill the silence.

"I was so scared. I saw you but...I couldn't respond." Alex paused. "And then...nothing. No pain…just…" She shrugged. "Nothing. The next memory I have is of Hammond standing over me in the hospital, talking to me about witness protection."

"…Stay with me, stay with me Alex…Alex it's okay, look at me…"

She never forgot that night; a void consuming the life in Alex's eyes with each passing moment.

Olivia stood and walked over, taking the ex-A.D.A.'s arm and guiding her to the couch at seeing the fear lingering in her eyes. "I was scared too." She gently confessed as they sat side by side. "You were losing a lot of blood, way too fast…" Olivia leaned forward and slid her elbows to her knees, keeping her gaze trained on the coffee table in front of them. "So when they told Elliot and I that you had died, I figured it was true." She paused and put a hand over her eyes, her lips pressing together tight. Alex was fine after all, no need to drum up emotions that had no use being shown. "I rode in the ambulance with you and Elliot took the squad car to Mercy." Olivia's hand dropped to her lap and she turned them both palm-up. "I held your hand...and you were getting cold." Her voice cracked at the end, quickly covered up by a clear of her throat.

"Liv." Alex leaned into her, and Olivia watched stagnantly as a pale hand took hers but didn't expect the arm that came around her back.

'Come on Alex…don't die on me. You're stronger than this…I know it.' Snapshots of her frantic thoughts returned, as Olivia recalled watching the paramedics tend to Alex in the ambulance and squeezing her hand just before they took it.

'Keep it together.' Clenching her teeth behind her lips, Olivia blacked out any thoughts about the chaotic ride to the hospital, the cardio machines beeping their warnings, and the word "coding" being thrown around.

She froze as Alex's chin came to her shoulder; their faces touching as the woman rubbed her arm in consoling up and down motions.

"...Thank you..." Alex whispered.

To her own surprise, Olivia chuckled. "You owe me a hundred-and-fifty bucks."

"For what?"

Olivia felt the woman gaze touching the side of her face as Alex lifted from her shoulder.

"For dry cleaning."

Alex rolled her eyes and scoffed with a grin. "I was dying."

"And you made a big mess of it." Olivia smiled.

With a content sigh Alex relaxed, finding her place on the detective's shoulder once again. This time the gesture less tentative, as though she'd sat with Olivia like this many times before. But this was the first time. Maybe the pacifying country fields, and hospitality of Wisconsin had softened her. Without the publicity surrounding the D.A.'s office, Alex didn't have to be constantly mindful or careful of how much of herself she allowed to show.

This Alex felt real, warm, and not impervious as so many thought her to be.

"There was blood everywhere, Alex." Olivia's smile faded and her tone turned serious. "On my pants, my sleeves..." She paused. "And a…pretty ungodly stain on the sidewalk."

Deep crimson, nearly black, she'd gotten a lengthy stare at the terrible puddle the moment paramedics transferred Alex into the ambulance.

"Do I owe them too?"

The playful smile in Alex's voice lifted her spirits. "Who?"

"The people who cleaned it up."

Olivia gave a wry chuckle. "It's probably still there."

"You think—"

"No, I'm not taking you to see it." Olivia held a gentle smile, but her words were stern as she looked to her silver watch. "It's after 9." She pulled her hand from Alex's and gave the woman's thigh a quick squeeze. "You should prep for tomorrow." She let go, but Alex took her hand, reclaiming it once more.

"I'm sorry Liv."

Olivia took a deep breath and tightened her grasp on Alex's hand, suppressing a fleeting thought to entwine their fingers as she captured the memory of its warmth to soothe her resurfacing nightmares. "Don't feel that way, you have no reason to. You're here now. That's what matters." She slipped from Alex's embrace all together and headed to the bathroom. "I'll be back."

She closed the door and rested her forehead against the solid wood, letting a ragged breath escape from between her lips. In and out she breathed through her mouth, trying to stay as quiet as possible as tears rushed her eyes.

Alex had no idea, but she couldn't hold her like that.

Grabbing the rim of the sink, Olivia turned the water on, just enough to mask the sobs she felt threatening to break.

'Keep it together.'

Her lip quivered but she continued to breathe as she braced against the sink, her hands squeezing the porcelain. She tried to blink back the inevitable tears, but they fell one after the other into the sink. After everything—witnessing Alex's shooting, the blood on her hands, Alex's return from the dead, the story about the claims adjuster, their long overdue hug, and Alex's embrace—she could only translate the onslaught of mixed emotions into overwhelmed tears.