We're gonna take things nice and slow for this chapter. Have some fun with the cast since I've been interrupting every single chance at relaxation ever since Issei left to Hunt the Aviturs. For this chapter, I literally decided to fly off the rails and type what came to mind. My funniest stuff came from randomness. And before anyone can complain, this story is rated M, so you've been warned from the start.
Anyways, enjoy part 2 of 6 chapters.
Chapter 66: Downright Crazy
The road to recovery had been long but the Team was improving, slowly returning to some sort of normalcy.
Thanks to some push from Rizevim, Wukong, Odin, and Parvati, the group was able to get approval for Adelaide to leave Headquarters. Apparently, it was a show of good faith in the face of vehement opposition. Adelaide felt like they were trying to butter her up for something.
Vali had secured permission to take Adelaide out to one of her summer homes in the forests to relax before time was up for their time off. It was the perfect place for some peace and quiet.
As soon as everyone unpacked, they met up in the Living Room to greet their incoming visitors.
"Man, I wish these peaceful days would continue forever." Bikou stretched as he reflected on the past few days.
Everyone had bitter smiles. If only this wish could be granted. The doorbell rang just as everyone got ready to start on breakfast.
"Sorry we're late." Sairaorg saluted as he and Kuisha entered.
"Where's everybody else?" Vali asked.
"They're all preoccupied with stuff, so it's just us." Kuisha's eyes then fell on Adelaide.
"It's okay, she's fine." Vali noticed her change in expression, stepping between them.
"If you say so." Kuisha relaxed, if only a little.
"Man, I love this. It's been months since we actually spent any time together without a care in the world." Sairaorg slung a friendly arm around Issei's shoulder.
"Tell me about it. Let's party till we drop, like how Rizevim always says." Issei laughed.
Vali groaned.
"What's wrong?" Adelaide looked at her twin.
"When those two get together, all hell breaks loose." Vali rubbed her temples.
Vali proceeded to tell the stories of Issei's exploits with Sairaorg.
"You guys actually dealt with a gold digger?" Adelaide found Issei's behavior so outlandish.
"Hey, it's true when stories about me are awesome." Issei tried to defend himself.
"True. He did save me from being sexually assaulted once. He even put it on social media." Lefay raised a reluctant hand.
"Let's not forget, he helped us get engaged." Arthur chuckled as Elaine showed off her engagement ring.
Honestly, hearing all these tales and exploits of Issei made Vali and Adelaide fall even harder for the mischievous host.
"So, what's our plan today?"
"Fishing, grilling, and swimming." Issei held up a cooler.
Downhill by the riverbed, Issei sat there, fishing as planned.
"Days like these are the best, aren't they?"
Issei was about to turn around, only for a pair of arms to wrap around his shoulders.
"They are." Issei chuckled.
"How're you feeling?" Vali rested her head on him.
"Better; a lot better."
"I'm glad everything worked out."
"How soon before we get another mission?"
"No idea. Grandpa says he has news and wants to share it once he's ready. From the look on his face, it won't be good." Vali tightened her hold on him.
"Can't have nice things for long, can we?" Issei scoffed.
"Issei, what's bothering you?"
Issei sighed. It wasn't easy to hide anything from Vali these days.
"When we saw those memories, things started coming back to me. I still don't know who planted that bomb in the Throne Room. Those seven lights, they had to be the Aviturs. I just can't remember how that vortex opened in the sky and why."
"And that's not the worst of it?" Vali concluded.
"No, it's not. I'm only guessing this but I felt like Bahamut was trying to escape his seal. This time, it was bad, really bad because I felt conscious of it. Before, it was like he was just thrashing around in his seal. This time, I feel like he was actively trying to escape." Issei clutched his chest.
Vali put her hand over his, gently brushing it.
"It'll be okay. I won't let anything happen to you." She kissed his cheek as she held him close.
Issei wasn't one for showing it, but he was often scared. This time, he seemed terrified. He was in cold sweat from just remembering the ordeal.
"Come on. Let's head back to the others." Vali packed the fishing rods and cooler away as the pair returned to the house.
(The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring OST – Concerning Hobbits. Play Song.)
While Vali and Issei were fishing, Adelaide had been helping out with the cooking. She found the company of the Vali Team to be quite pleasant.
"How can I help?" Lefay was the first person to walk up to her.
Adelaide thought they were going to need time to warm up to her but that clearly wasn't happening.
"Uh, well, I could use some help with peeling the veggies."
"I'm on it." Lefay got to work at the sink as Kuroka and the other ladies stepped into the kitchen.
"We'll help out too. Anything particular in mind?" Lianshi looked at the fridge.
"Well, Arthur said he wanted to try some campfire food, so I was thinking about stew and grilled fish." Adelaide pointed outside, revealing Arthur and Bikou making a campfire.
"Where's Issei and Vali?" Izalana looked around.
"They went fishing."
The ladies went quiet, observing Adelaide. She noticed their gazes and only chuckled.
"I'm perfectly willing to share as long as Vali doesn't try to edge me out."
Lianshi and Kuroka looked at each other, wondering how true that was.
"Well, let's get to work." Elaine ushered everyone to begin.
Adelaide nearly jumped when she saw Kuroka looking a bit lost with the knife.
"Careful!" She intervened just before Kuroka could lose a finger.
"Sorry." Kuroka sheepishly set the knife down.
Adelaide only chuckled as she stepped next to the nekomata.
"Here, when you chop vegetables, always steady your knife in front and your fingers around the veggies to keep them together and away from the blade."
It had reached her ears that Kuroka was trying to learn how to cook, perhaps out of a sense of competitiveness with Lianshi.
"R-Right." Kuroka attentively watched as Adelaide showed her the ropes.
Outside, Arthur and Bikou decided to start a fire without magic, something Arthur insisted on. To be frank, it was Arthur's suggestion for a camping trip.
"So, what's up with the whole trip?" Bikou spoke up after half an hour of silence.
"Huh?"
"Last time I checked; you weren't the outdoorsy type. You were always training or reading."
Arthur was quiet for a bit before responding.
"I guess I wanted to try and learn some new things. That train fiasco opened up some new perspective for me. I…I guess I wanted to learn these things for the future."
"Hey, sorry I'm late. Got the fish cleaned and ready." Issei walked in with the cooler.
"Great." Bikou struck a match and threw it into the pit with oil and wood.
While the guys waited for the ladies to bring out the food for cooking, they chatted. Now that Issei thought about it, it'd been a long time since the guys did anything together.
"So, back to the previous topic. Why the sudden wish for camping?" Bikou asked.
"I guess I wanted to some peace and quiet. Ever since Issei left, we haven't really had any real time to just unwind. Whenever we went somewhere to relax, some other incident always happened. When was the last time since we actually got to enjoy ourselves with no strings attached?" Arthur sighed.
"To be honest, I don't think we have." Issei mused on the question.
"I guess I just wanted us to return to how we were before everything changed."
"There's something else, isn't there?" Issei had a knowing smirk.
"Yeah. I guess it's no secret that Elaine and I want to have kids one day. As I am now, I can't really say I know enough activities and lessons for my future children. Camping's a good bonding experience, so I wanted to really learn how to do it in case I take my family out to do it one day." Arthur had a slight chuckle as he stared into the fire.
"Cool." Bikou could only nod.
"Are you two going to move out?" Issei decided to drop the bombshell.
"Maybe. Rizevim and Ezagyra have been trying to convince us not to. They said they want to build a house for us to stay in on the grounds. Elaine and I have been thinking about moving out, still. We want to be able to leave the nest and start our own lives without cramping the mansion. You understand what I mean?"
Bikou and Issei nodded.
"I do. I get how you feel. Still, it's your decision. Whatever you two decide to do, we're in it with you to the end." Issei smiled.
"That brings me to my next topic. Will you two be my groomsmen?"
The question was sudden, but considering how direct Arthur usually was, it wasn't too shocking.
"Of course." Issei didn't even hesitate, elated.
Arthur had a small smile on his face, which spoke volumes for him.
"You two are my brothers, no doubt about it. We've been through a lot with each other, so I wouldn't ask anyone else. I want you two to be up there with me when I marry Elaine."
"I'll only accept on one condition." Bikou smiled his trademark grin.
"And what's that?" Arthur raised a brow.
"You two gotta do the same for me if and when I get married." Bikou laughed.
"Count on it." Arthur responded with the same speed that Bikou and Issei gave him.
"Alrighty, boys, time for you to work." Vali and the ladies carried over pots and cooking ware.
"While we set the table, you three man the fire. Don't let anything burn." Izalana brushed her hands.
After dinner was cooked, everyone sat at the table outside. They reminisced and exchanged stories, laughing at each other's expense.
"So, you mean to tell me that this guy got arrested?" Adelaide pointed at Issei, who kept shoving food in his mouth.
"Yep. He started screaming out of nowhere. It got so bad that the cops took him away." Vali giggled.
"In my defense, it was because you and Sairaorg couldn't read signals!" Issei barked as pieces of food flew from his mouth.
"What?"
"I set these two up so well and they just destroyed my entire night of work with only one sentence." Issei seethed.
"Still, you were the crazy one. I seem to recall you got pepper-sprayed when you spooked an old lady." Kuroka decided to poke fun at him too.
"Yeah, and I seem to recall farting into your mouth." Issei snorted.
Kuroka turned beet red as the memory came back to her. Kuisha choked on her water, the liquid blasting out of her nostrils.
"Ahahahahaha!" A round of laughter echoed around the fire.
"You what?!" Adelaide looked a bit disgusted.
"I had to buy time! Sairaorg was moving slower than a limping buffalo." Issei defensively scooted away from her.
"You see, at the time, he was trying to set Sairaorg and me up. For some crazy reason, he decided to make a mess to let Sairaorg gain some distance." Vali smirked into her glass.
Adelaide rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"Issei…" Sometimes he just disappointed her.
The hours seemed to fly as they traded stories and told more of themselves to Adelaide. Issei looked around and smiled to himself. It brought him joy to see people laughing, smiling, and enjoying life.
'Finally. Home sweet home.' He'd missed this sight so much.
(The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring OST – Concerning Hobbits. End Song.)
In another section of the mansion, the girls were all in sleepwear for ladies' night. It had been Izalana's idea to get together and share stories and bond.
"You mean to tell me you were planning for the night?" Kuroka gasped.
Vali's brow twitched in slight disturbance.
"I'd been planning that dinner for days. I bought all sorts of ingredients that would keep his strength up. I'd been practicing how to make all his favorite foods too. I even bought lingerie to wear that night. Then those stupid cultists ruined the night." Adelaide pouted.
'She looks so disappointed.' Everyone seemed to think in unison. Her disappointment just made hearts bleed.
"How far have you gone?" Lianshi asked, her cheeks turning a slight pink.
Adelaide didn't answer that question.
"Huh…" Lianshi and Kuroka went quiet with her implied answer.
"I guess Elaine and Lefay are the only ones that hit a homerun in the group." Kuroka muttered.
Everyone looked at Vali, wondering what her reaction would be. To their surprise, Vali looked perfectly normal.
"What?" She coyly looked back at them in return.
"Nothing." Everyone turned away.
Time seemed to fly by as the team got to know Adelaide better. She was actually pretty alright. She was easy to get along with, though she was much more direct that Vali was, which wasn't bad.
On the other side of the house, Issei and Sairaorg were spending some quality time together to catch up.
"So, ever think you'd end up in this situation?" Sairaorg passed Issei a drink.
"Not ever. I thought I'd be dead a long time before. It's still sinking in, to be honest."
"Well, don't lose focus. We've still got work to do."
As much as the two wanted to avoid it, their conversation had taken a serious turn.
"Things have been escalating, haven't they?" Issei stared at the calm waters of the massive lake.
"Yeah. I figured Rizevim didn't want to tell any of you, but the fighting's gotten more intense. One more major incident and we'll have full-scale war on our hands. No more discreet guerilla operations. We'll be fighting to the death. Just the other day, one of our supply bases got nailed." Sairaorg sighed before taking another swig of his drink.
"We deal with one thing and another thing happens." Issei scoffed.
"I guess that's just how our life is."
"What do you think is gonna happen next?"
"Don't know. I haven't been in touch with the talks."
Sairaorg paused, as if debating with himself.
"These are just baseless rumors, but I've been hearing things being whispered. People are hypothesizing that there's a splinter faction in the works of the Alliance."
Issei looked at Sairaorg, noting the dead-serious look on his face. He remained silent, pondering this rumor.
"Where'd you hear it from?"
"Some higher-ups were talking about it. It's struck some as odd. For so many powerful people, it's proving pretty hard to put down some ragtag group."
"You'd think that at first, but these people are using weapons and magic from a forgotten time. To be clear, what they've got puts them on equal footing with us." Issei chimed in.
"True. Anyways, people are starting to believe that someone's helping the enemy. That's the explanation for why we haven't beaten them yet. We didn't struggle this hard with the Khaos Brigade. There's probably gonna be an internal investigation."
Issei saw the necessity of it, but he worried over whether or not this would start another big incident.
"What's the plan for our group?"
"Small missions. Sirzechs and Rizevim are trying to keep us off the frontlines. Things might stay like this for us if they get their way. Odin and others are also trying to keep the younger generation from joining the frontlines on their ends."
"Yeah, but for how long?"
The two sat in silence for the rest of the night, not wanting to find out the answer to that question.
The next morning, the gang decided to stay indoors, considering the heavy rain outside.
"So, what do we do?" Bikou groaned as he snacked on popcorn.
"You've been asking that for the past half hour." Kuroka glared at him as she stared at the TV.
"I mean, I know we wanted to do an outdoor getaway in the woods, but there's only so much we can do."
"Then find something to do." Lianshi spoke up as Lefay came into the Living Room.
"I have some games, if anyone wants to play."
They gathered around a large table as Lefay spread out a boardgame.
"HOME, SECRETS, & LIFE: Adults only version?" Issei read the game's title and manual, smiling devilishly to himself.
Vali and Sairaorg gasped. They knew that evil look.
'There's evil brewing in that brain of his.'
"Why are you smiling like the Grinch?" Adelaide nervously shrunk away from Issei.
"So, roll a dice and move that many spaces. Each space has a question card. Another player draws a card from either the trivia pile, which asks questions about another player or it will be a challenge question, which will concern your life, depending on which space you land on. Failure to answer results in a punishment card that has to be drawn from the punishment pile." Issei read out the directions, liking things more and more.
Much to everyone's dread, Issei wrote down lists of punishments into a hat for later.
The first to move was Issei, of course.
"Question: Where did you have your first kiss?"
Adelaide blushed.
"Boston." Issei cleared his throat as he felt Vali's intense stare.
"Whoa, whoa, so Vali wasn't the first kiss?" Kuroka whispered to the others.
"Not surprised, Vali's always been shy." Bikou whispered back.
Lefay was a bumbling mess when it was her turn.
"What's your most embarrassing moment?"
Nobody needed to say a word. Everyone already knew what Lefay's most embarrassing moment was, sans Adelaide.
"When Issei-nii walked in on me and Embern…" She muttered, blushing so red that Issei could bet there was steam coming from her head.
"Doing what?" Adelaide innocently looked around.
"Doing the nasty. Let's move on." Issei growled like a dragon.
"Geez, dad-mode much?" Kuroka rubbed her temples.
Adelaide choked on her drink, chuckling.
"You should've seen him. He was crying and screaming like a caveman. He kept screeching that she was supposed to be the good one." Vali giggled.
That was something that Adelaide found cute. Vali only giggled when it concerned Issei.
"Next. Bikou, trivia: what is your lover scared of?"
"Which one?"
"If you can answer for both of them, then you get to move an extra two spaces." Issei smiled like he was from the Shining.
"Deal!"
"WHAT?!" Kuroka and Lianshi yelped.
"Kuroka's scared of gorillas and Lianshi's scared of caterpillars."
"Done! Move two spaces." Issei was going to use that in the future.
Kuroka and Lianshi glared at Bikou, who stopped smiling.
"I am now questioning how I make life decisions." He robotically mumbled.
"Alright, Sairaorg. This is a challenge question. Who would you save; your relative or your lover?"
Issei and Kuisha looked at him.
"Kuisha. Next person."
Kuisha giggled while Issei gave Sairaorg a disappointed look.
"After all I did for you?!" Issei hissed.
"True, but I can give him something you can't." Kuisha practically had hearts floating around her.
"Well, Imbara told me he said that: I know Sairaorg doesn't feel the way I want him to. But! He will once I'm done. I can't let Sairaorg be with that bitch." Sairaorg chuckled.
After a few seconds of silence, everyone began laughing.
"Man, I was a scary guy as a human." Issei threw his head onto the table.
"Well, you stopped a gold-digger, at least." Sairaorg patted him on the shoulder.
"Who's laughing now?" Kuisha smiled, but her rather dark vibes spoke otherwise.
"Right, let's move on before someone starts cursing people." Issei drew a card for Arthur.
"Arthur, Challenge Question. Out of everyone here, who would you name your child after?"
Arthur gulped. All eyes fell on him as he tried to muster a response that wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings.
"W-Well, if it's a boy then…Issei. If it's a girl then it'd be Vali."
"How cruel, even though we're like brother and sister." Kuroka started to cry.
"The hell, man!" Bikou scolded the blonde knight.
"Wait! This wasn't supposed to happen!" Arthur scrambled to fix the situation he caused.
Eventually, the turn passed to Elaine.
"So, for Elaine, it's a trivia question. What is Arthur's favorite position?"
Many gasps came as Elaine turned tomato-red. Her face froze as her eyes emptied.
"Elaine?" Izalana waved her hand in front of her face.
"I think she fainted while sitting."
"Two spaces back." Issei declared her sentence.
Elaine then snapped back into reality.
"What happened?" The former maid looked around.
"Your punishment." Issei mercilessly read out the punishment.
"Drink a whole cup of hot sauce. Whoa…this game is legal?" Issei looked at Lefay.
"Yep." Lefay only smiled brightly.
Issei gasped.
"What have I done to you? I've turned you into a monster. You were the good one." Issei slumped into his chair.
As Bikou poured the cup for her, Elaine simply drank its contents stoically. The moment she put the cup down-
"She fainted while sitting again."
Izalana prayed to whatever higher power there was that her question would be safe.
"Alright, Izalana, challenge question."
"Thank goodness."
Izalana breathed a sigh of relief.
"I lied. It's a trivia question." Issei chuckled evilly.
"Nooo!" Izalana's face hit the table.
"What do you look for in a guy?"
Izalana was thankful she got an easy question.
"Well, I like hardworking guys who do their best in whatever they set their mind to. They're capable of being a leader and have a little bit of roguishness. Being well-mannered is also a plus. Having good friends who're loyal is a plus too."
Vali and Adelaide immediately went on red alert.
'Whoa! The air got really cold!' The fear in Rexis' voice told books of how scared he was.
'Again, why're you scared? You're not gonna suffer their wrath!'
'That sounds like someone we know.' Vali and Adelaide looked at one another.
'It's not me.' Issei looked at his two girlfriends.
'How do you know?' Adelaide glared.
'Call it intuition.' Issei smiled as he began running through a list of people in his head.
"You know, telepathic communication doesn't matter with this gang anymore." Sairaorg looked back and forth between the trio.
Vali pulled a card for Lianshi next.
"Lianshi, trivia question: What can you not stand about your lover?"
"Oooooh!" Issei started instigated again.
"His loud snoring."
"Snoring?" Bikou looked hurt.
"Some nights, I feel tempted to put a pillow on your face. It's that loud!" Lianshi teared up, hugging his arm to try and soothe his downed mood.
"You do snore really loudly." Kuroka added.
"The other night, I thought someone was strangling a boar in your room." Issei nodded, as if it was the genuine truth.
"I-I…Okay, I'm gonna…I'm gonna work on it." Bikou looked utterly defeated.
Kuroka smiled with all the intensity of a demon as she read the card.
"Vali, challenge question."
"Fine by me." She fearlessly smiled.
"What is your plan to seduce your lover for the night?" Kuroka already knew this was a question that Vali couldn't answer.
Issei looked at Vali intently.
"Go on." Kuroka began to tap her finger on the table, smiling victoriously.
"I…I'd sweet-talk him after his favorite dinner. Then I'd take him to the shower and…do stuff…to him…" Vali's voice got quieter and quieter with each word.
"Wow. Intend to slip anything into his food?" Izalana leaned over.
Vali's silence spoke for itself, making Issei pause. His fears of his lovers' possible yandere traits were growing stronger.
'Why do I feel like I'm in danger?'
As for Adelaide…
"How far have you gone with your current or past lover?" Issei looked at her.
Adelaide turned as white as a sheet before going blue.
"B…This is crazy." She looked away.
"Punishment card." Kuroka drew one.
"Suck on another player's toe." Everyone looked right back at Adelaide.
"This is inhumane!"
"Not all of us are human. That's racist." Bikou countered.
"You can't ask a young maiden this question!" Adelaide tried another attempt.
"You just found out that Issei walked in on Lefay and her boyfriend in the middle of sex." Vali was the most eager to find out. Her hands had been slowly tightening around a water bottle as soon as the question was asked.
'Dude, imagine that water bottle being your junk.' Rexis couldn't help but mess with Issei.
'You are NOT helping.'
That water bottle was making some crinkling noises.
"That's true…fine." Adelaide had to admit that Lefay couldn't suffer that much alone.
"We got between second and almost third base."
"You've still got a shot, Vali." Kuisha patted her on the shoulder.
When it came to Kuroka, Issei was eager to see what fate was going to do to her.
"Kuroka, trivia question." Issei victoriously pulled from said pile of cards. He knew that Kuroka was weaker to memory than daring questions.
"What order does your lover look at you?" Issei asked.
Kuroka smugly chuckled.
"My chest, my eyes, my legs, then back to my chest."
"EH! Wrong! Bikou, please tell her." Issei's evil smile grew as every second passed.
He knew Kuroka would get it wrong, as Bikou had told him the answer in the past.
"I look at your eyes, then your chest, then your eyes, then your legs." Bikou sheepishly corrected his girlfriend.
"That means punishment!" Issei's voice morphed into that of a demons as he said that.
"What did he get? Goodness, please don't it be crazy." Kuroka paled.
"This is Issei, we're talking about." Everyone sans Issei and Adelaide responded.
"It's easy. You just gotta drink a smoothie." Issei smiled innocently.
"Oh, that's not too bad." Kuisha shrugged.
"But the ingredients are random. Heheheheheheheheh!" Issei walked to the fridge.
"Nooooooo!" Kuroka shrieked.
The final product was a blend of peanut butter, honey, milk, chocolate, strawberries, wasabi, mayonnaise, garlic, vegemite, vinegar, anchovies, and squid ink.
"What the hell is this?!" Kuroka shrieked.
"You remember that job where you asked me to take over at that punishment game show and do some taste testing? That's the exact same concoction you tricked me into downing." Issei smiled with all the evil of the Underworld.
"I thought you loved me!" Kuroka whined.
"Cheers, sis." Issei sipped some water to drive her fate home.
Suffice to say, Kuroka puked her heart out when the deed was done.
The rest of the game was utterly wild, if Issei had to put one word on it. A conundrum of punishments had ensued too. Lefay gave Vali a wet willy. Kuroka had to sniff Lianshi's fart. Arthur had to suck on Issei's toe. Sairaorg got pelted with sauces by the gang. Kuisha had to eat an entire ladle of wasabi. Bikou and Issei had to give each other a wedgie. Adelaide and Izalana had to spend a round tied to each other. Elaine had to wear Sairaorg's sweaty sock for a whole round.
Still, no one denied the fact that it was probably one of the most fun days of their lives. Spending good time with friends and just making memories was something they'd never replace. As Issei so often professed, no one knew who'd be gone the next time they met up.
I'll be totally honest, I really wanted do a chapter just on the game the Cast played. What do you guys think? Should I release a Chapter 66.5 in the future just focusing in random, silly, and possibly crude shenanigans that will spawn from this chapter?
Anyways, please move on to Chapter 3 of the 6-Chapter update.