"Why hello dear readers, tis I, the handsomest man on Earth, Deadpool! I know that you are all huge fans of me and my amazing personality, but for now I'll tell you about what has happened so far. Our Avengers plus Loki took over the world within about a week, and then Thor buggered off to rule Asgard. Oh and Tony is spending half his time staring at Loki's ass and the other half staring at his face. Honestly it's getting frustrating! The two just need to have a serious make out session! The amount of sexual tension surrounding these two is as hard to get rid of as me! And now you join our heroes as Loki discovers the true villain of the world, assholes such as-" he got cut off by a car driving over him.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

*Over in Stark Tower*

"Anthony, what in the Nine Realms is this rubbish?"

"Um, that's a phone," he answered, looking at me curiously.

"I am aware of that, it's the absolute tros that's on it that I want to know more about," I replied.

"That just looks like your average homophobe, I guess," he said, looking away.

"There are people who act like this because someone else likes someone? I knew Midgard was unadvanced but this! On Asgard, people may love whomever they choose and still do everything they wish to, even have children, they just have to talk to Thor or Freyja! Mortals are ridiculous!" I growled, glaring at the offensive piece written on the device. "This shall no longer be tolerated now that I'm king. Any discrimination against queer people shall result in a death sentence."

"Isn't that a bit extreme?"

"Not at all," I said. "And I'm also legalising gay and polygamous marriage everywhere, and making it part of the school curriculum to learn everything queer."

"Sounds good to me," Tony said. "And oh yeah, there's a pride parade nearby soon, do you want to go?"

"Certainly," I said. "If the other Avengers want to come too, I might make their outfits pride flag colours too."

I looked up the Midgardian terms and their respective pride flags for my experiences, then the flags for what the Avengers' and Pepper identified as and made our outfits so that at the pride parade, my outfit was the aromantic colours and I also had the pan and genderfluid flags, Tony, Pepper, and Steve's outfits were the bi colours, Nat's outfit was asexual and lesbian, Clint had an outfit with the colours of the demi flags, and Bruce had a rainbow flag.

During the pride parade, there were many interesting costumes, one however stood out greatly, the suit of a New York hero, Spiderman, but in very bright pink, purple and blue.

"Who might you be?" I asked the person.

"Bi-derman of course," a young voice laughed.

"Of course," I smiled.

"OH MY GOSH IT'S A BABY SUPER! A BABY BI SUPER AS WELL! CAN WE KEEP HIM? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!" Anthony came running up to me and stared at the young hero.

"I am not a baby!" Bi-derman grumbled.

"Of course you're not, but I'm adopting you anyway," Tony said, hugging him.

"Tony, you can't adopt every young person here," Steve said, sighing as he walked up to us.

"Who says? Loki, Steve's being mean again!" Tony whined, collapsing onto me. I ignored him and just stroked his hair.

"Seriously, how am I the baby?!" Bi-derman complained.

Bruce walked up and looked at the young hero.

"There is no escape, kid, I'm pretty sure Tony will be filing adoption papers within the hour," he said, patting the kid on the back.

Tony had already disappeared to file adoption papers.

"Wait, but what if he has parents-" Steve yelled after Tony, but he was long gone.

Tony came back half an hour later, and somehow the adoption had already gone through (my one and only weakness was his puppy dog eyes and so I may have called the department). He picked up Bi-derman and hugged him.

"Loki, we're parents now," Tony beamed.

"Wait, what just happened?" Bi-derman asked, struggling to get out of Tony's grip.

"Wonderful, what shall we name our new child?" I asked.

"I already have a name! I'm Bi-derman!"

"Also, what if the kid already has parents?" Clint pointed out, appearing out of nowhere, being a disgusting pig and talking with food in his mouth.

"Fair point, do you have parents?" Tony asked our new child.

"Not any that are alive," he mumbled under his breath, looking at the ground.

"Aww," Tony hugged him tighter.

Nat came over carrying a small black dirty kitten wearing a rainbow cape. "Guys, I adopted a cat I found- wait, what's going on over here?"

"Tony adopted a kid," Steve explained.

"Right," Nat remarked. "Anyway, meet Liho. I found her in a puddle."

Bi-derman gasped. "She's so cute! Can I hold her? Pretty pretty please!"

"Only if you tell us your real name," Tony smirked, holding him tighter.

"It's Peter, Peter Parker. Now please, I want to hold the fluffyyyyyyyyy!"

He practically screamed with delight when Tony dropped him. The cat was surprisingly undisturbed by the noise or the over-excited kid.

Nat handed him Liho and Peter held her very carefully.

"All hail the fluffy," he cooed under his breath.

Liho meowed in agreement as Tony looked fondly at the pair.

How he was so attached to his child already was beyond me. Wait hang on, our child, I was a parent. How does one parent a child exactly?

I shook my head and looked away from the endearing scene, to see Pepper not so tenuously staring at Natasha. Norns, those two were irritatingly obvious. I walked over to Natasha who was staring in the opposite direction where a large group of rainbow-coloured people were dancing.

"Someone's staring at you," I whispered in her ear which caused her to immediately blush.

"Pepper doesn't like me, okay? Stop saying that," Nat defended.

"I didn't even mention Pepper," I smirked. "Just ask her out already. We are all growing tired of the pining from both of you. The amount of subtlety you both have is well-nigh nothing, you spend way too much time staring dreamily at each other. Please, for the love of the gods, start dating!"

"Come on, Loki, I joined your world take over, so can you please leave it?" she hissed, and moved to show a knife in her pocket.

"Fine, I suppose I'll just talk to Pepper instead," I grinned as I walked off.

"You bastard!"

"Bye, Romanoff," I chuckled as I made my way over to the other redhead. "Please ask her out. I tried talking to Romanoff, but she is not picking up on your obvious staring and the two of yours obliviousness is exasperating everyone!"

"Loki, WHY ON EARTH DID YOU SAY THAT SO LOUD!" she yelled as everyone stared at us.

"Peer pressure, my dear, now you have no choice but to ask out Natasha," I said with an evil laugh. I hear another evil laugh join me in the background, and it sounds suspiciously like Anthony.

"I'm not asking her out," Pepper said, her cheeks red.

In the background, there were chants of "ASK HER! ASK HER!"

"Ask her out or I'll fire you, Pep," Tony said with a poker face.

"I'm pretty sure a threat like that is illegal, but Jesus Christ, fine," Pepper awkwardly walked over to Natasha. "Um hi, do you... have any plans this weekend?"

"No, unless you wanna make some?" Nat suggested.

"Um, do you wanna have dinner together?"

"Yes please," Nat smiled.

"Great, fantastic, spectacular," Pepper said as she walked off.

"Um, Pep, might wanna, you know, choose a date, time, and restaurant?" Nat called after her.

"Oh right, that's a smood idea. I meant good, smart. God dammit," Pepper mumbled, walking back over.

"Too gay to function," I murmured under my breath, and I heard a gasp before I was attacked by my octopus of a fiancé.

"Well first of all mood, and second of all you watched Mean Girls? I am so proud of you!" Tony exclaimed.

"What? What's Mean Girls?"

"You just quoted it-"

"I did?"

"YES!"

"I don't think it's a quote if I didn't knowing I was quoting something, but okay."

"So you haven't watched Mean Girls?! I refuse to marry someone who hasn't watched Mean Girls, it would be tragedy! A tragedy, I tell you!" Tony said dramatically as he flopped against my chest.

Best not tell him I haven't watched any movies at all if this was how he got with just one movie.

"Of course, dear," I said, and patted him on the head. "If you want, I can watch it with you."

"Will there be popcorn?" Tony asked hopefully.

"If you wish."

"I wish. Can our son watch it too?"

"Right, we have a child. Yes of course, although we should probably take him shopping for everything, seeing as we were not prepared for a child."

"We'll let Pep handle it," Tony mumbled.

"You rely too much on her," I sighed.

"That is false." He glared at me.

"Right, you rely on her the perfect amount. Which is on more or less absolutely everything," I rolled my eyes.

"Absolutely," he nodded.

"Spidey!" a familiar voice shouted and Peter was tackled by Deadpool, who had a pan flag.

Liho quickly scrambled away from Peter, and Nat had to chase after her.

"Wade, get off of me!" came the muffled yell of Peter.

"Never!" he cried as he hugged Peter tighter.

"HEY, GET OFF OUR SON!" Tony yelled, running up to the red-covered man.

"Aww, I just wanted a hug," he whined before being chased by a furious Iron Man.

"I have no regrets!" Deadpool shouted as he ran into a moving car, destroying the flag as well as himself. What a waste of a perfectly good pan pride flag.

"You know that man?" I asked Peter.

"Unfortunately," Peter sighed.

A day later, Peter had moved in with Tony and I.

"And here's your room, kid," Tony said, opening the door.

Peter looked around with an open mouth. It was... fairly big.

"And we have JARVIS everywhere, so you can ask him anything," Tony said.

"That's kind of creepy," Peter muttered under his breath.

"Hey, JARVIS, say hi to Peter," Tony said.

"Hello, Mr Parker," said the disembodied voice of JARVIS.

Peter's eyes widened. "H- hi?" he had no idea where he was supposed to look.

"Anyway, we should watch Mean Girls now," Tony decided, and then they went to do that.

But before that, I decided to speak to him.

"Anthony, when are you actually going to start courting me?" I asked.

"What? I thought I already was? We're gonna have a date right now, watching Mean Girls," Tony looked a little stressed now.

"Courting involves gifts."

"Oh! Well I can get the swords."

"No, not yet. You can just get something small, and on the third day I get you a gift, then the next day we get swords."

"Okay, confusing, but I'll get there eventually."

"Guys! Hurry up!" Peter yelled.

The two adults went to join Peter, and then they watched their movie with a ton of popcorn and milkshakes, Peter apparently had a very big sweet tooth, and Anthony seemed to also have a weakness for puppy dog eyes.