They talked, then. Clint sat in the only chair in the room, with a furious frown and his arms crossed on his chest. She perched on the bed, even though she was rather sure it broke at least a couple of regulations of the medical bay. Loki remained where he was, standing by the wall, not looking any happier to be here than Clint. It was obvious he wasn't keen on relaying the story once again.
He did talk though, keeping it brief, to an almost alarming extent, covering only the most important parts, skipping the details he mentioned – or unambiguously suggested – during his exchange with Fury or those she got out of him later. He didn't skimp over the key pieces though and she didn't interject. She could always catch Clint up on the omitted bits of information later, as long as he was getting the gist now. And he was: Loki's fall from Asgard – which they heard about from Thor and not from Loki originally, but the versions did line up, more or less – the subsequent stay on Thanos' ship and the Titan's role in Loki's attack, then the scepter influence – although it turned out it didn't exactly work on Loki the way it worked on everyone else, still allowing him some degree of independent thought, which Loki somehow forgot to mention before.
"I had to act on my own," Loki provided in lieu of explanation. "That's why the spell was different. At least that's my guess. I was not made privy to details of the Thanos' plan. After he convinced me, it was one of his generals who I answered to. And my chain was only as long as it needed to be."
"How come you broke out from under it then?" Clint asked, dubiously, and the reason for his reservations was clear. The spell which controlled him remained in place, even after over a day away from both Loki and the scepter and without Loki doing anything to sustain it.
"I wasn't allowed to sleep while under the influence of the spell to ensure it held. An idle – or dreaming – brain is susceptible to wander and that's an undesired state." Loki looked down, suddenly very interested in the state of his fingernails. "But then my mind… slipped."
She chortled. "That must be the first case in history when someone was better off because of a panic attack."
Loki sighed. "Are we done here?"
She looked at Clint. Clint focused his gaze on Loki. "I'm going to accept your explanations for now," he said warily, "even though, technically speaking, you still haven't apologized."
Loki scoffed, turned on his heel and left.
"That went better than I expected," said Natasha.
Clint sighed and rubbed his face.
"How are you feeling?"
"As if my brain was pulled out of my skull, put into a blender, then shoved back inside through a straw up my nose."
"Ugh."
"I can still feel him inside my head," he added with a suppressed shudder, "but thinking he must be going through the same exact shit right now makes me feel a little better. Not much, but still."
She nodded, leaving it without a comment. She knew how conditioning felt like and this seemed even more vile for the involvement of magic and spells and all this confusing space powers bullshit she couldn't even begin to comprehend.
"How come that, of all people, you're the one stuck babysitting the next Hitler wannabe?"
"Didn't Fury tell you?"
He frowned at her.
"Come on, don't bullshit me. I don't know how much he told you, but I know he had to be here before us. You weren't really surprised to see Loki, and you didn't try to check if I'm not being controlled myself."
"You got me," he said with a smirk.
"Do I even want to ask what the show was for?"
Clint rolled his shoulders. "It was fun to watch Loki squirm as he tried to explain himself."
"I can't really blame you," she laughed.
"So, how come you're the one to hold the rabid puppy's leash?"
"I volunteered. For this and to be his Commanding Officer if Fury convinces Loki to work for SHIELD."
"What for?" he asked with a raise of an eyebrow.
"He is… well, definitely not completely right in the head, that's for sure, but also kind of… fascinating, in some way. I mean, how often do you get an opportunity to interact with an actual, goddamned alien?"
"More often than I'd wish, apparently," he snarled and pushed himself up from his seat then went over to the locker to retrieve his gear. As he wasn't injured, he wasn't stripped out of his clothes, but his body armor and boots were removed by the nurses. "You think that it could work, like, really work, long term?"
"Fury seems to think so."
"How about you?"
"I don't know. Loki seems… off."
"Off how? You know, besides the obvious shit."
She shrugged. "Like he doesn't really care what happens to him. We know that his show in Stuttgart was just a part of the performance, but I feel like everything he says and does is an act too. Motions he goes through just because of habit. Then there's the whole 'my life is already over' spiel… I think he actually believes that."
"And you think you can fix him."
"I don't know if it's even possible. It looks like Asgard's way of dealing with a problem is to lock it in the dark for a couple of years and hope it fixes itself in the meantime. I don't know if there's even anything to salvage after centuries of that."
"But you're still going to try."
She shrugged.
"Why?"
"Because I was where I was and now I'm here. If that's possible, then maybe he is not a completely lost cause either?"
Clint grinned at her. "You're special. You helped yourself, I was just there to nudge you in the right direction."
"Well, it looks like I'm off to do some nudging then."
Loki was waiting for her by the infirmary entrance.
"Why didn't you go back to your room?"
"It's not like I have anything to do, either there or here," he said dismissively.
It was not an answer, but she didn't push it. She suspected he didn't know one anyway.
"Fury didn't call yet?"
Loki shook his head in dejection. He didn't believe her words and that was to be expected. Damn, the world must have looked really bleak from the inside of his head.
They walked without talking for a while. Just like before, he matched his steps to hers, and she didn't have to alter her tempo to catch up to his longer strides. She couldn't tell whether it was conscious or not, but there was still something consoling about the notion. It showed he still had at least some regard for the people around, even the puny mortals, as much as his speeches claimed otherwise.
They reached Loki's room and she stopped. He did too, with his hand on the handle.
"You want me to stay and wait with you?"
He crooked his head. "Isn't that your purpose? To watch my every step?"
"I'm sure you'll be fine on your own for a while. I've seen no reports of unsolved murders yet, so I assume you can control yourself even on your own. I don't need to trail you like a shadow."
"Then why are you asking?"
"Because maybe you want some company?"
His eyebrows knitted and his gaze was sizing and uncertain. He stared at her for a couple of seconds, let out a sigh, and nodded, before looking away.
Fury called Loki in half an hour later and she walked with Loki to the office.
He hesitated before entering, just for a split-second, before he set his shoulders and pushed the door open.
He held it slightly ajar and his gaze jumped back to her.
"Go," she said. "I'll wait here."
He nodded curtly and went in.
Loki's been inside for maybe a quarter of an hour when Rogers passed through the hallway. He stopped where she sat on the bench that's been bolted to the metal wall a few steps away from Fury's office.
"Agent Romanoff," he greeted.
"Captain Rogers."
"I'm almost disappointed we didn't get to fight side by side," he said with a smile, then quickly amended, "but most of all I'm glad it ended without unnecessary bloodshed."
"Same here. You're getting back to New York?"
"Yes, I'll hitch a ride with Mr. Stark and Doctor Banner."
"Stark's not flying on his own?"
"The skirmish with Thor damaged something in his suit. If I understand correctly, it's still operational but he doesn't want to risk it. He explained it at length, but I didn't fully grasp all the details."
She would be surprised if he did. She wasn't entirely certain she could even comprehend how Stark's suit worked. It was the closest thing to magic she had ever seen until, well, she saw actual magic being performed.
"I'm pretty sure someone of your provenience could get their own ride," she said with a smile. "Like, easy."
"There's no point in wasting taxpayers' money, Mam," he said. "We're going to the same place anyway."
"I can tell you were not around through most of the nineties just from that quote alone," she jeered. "Besides, can you honestly stand where you're standing and claim SHIELD cares anything about frugality? Those babies cost like two billion a pop, and that's without all the extra equipment this one carries."
"It doesn't mean I have to be wasteful. The military has always been dissolute with their spending, that didn't change this much. Now at least part of it goes to the pockets of the regular soldiers. I could hardly believe my paycheck when I first received it. It would make a significant fortune in the thirties and forties."
"Wait till you have to rent a place in Brooklyn to reassess that statement," she chirped.
He sighed and sat down on the bench next to her. "That's another thing I no longer know how to do. It used to be as easy as buying a newspaper and calling a few numbers or just walking around the block looking for ads in the shop windows. Now there're only virtual addresses and numbers that can't even be called from a landline."
"Well, it's all moved online now."
He nodded slowly. "I'm yet to figure out the whole deal about the internet."
"You're up for quite a ride then."
"I'll have time to get to that, I suppose, now that there's nothing for me to be useful again."
"I'm pretty sure Director Fury would still have uses for a man of your talents. The initiative might have been placed on hold, but I can't see him not using the opportunity now that he got you off your retirement."
"We will see, I guess."
"We will," she said and smiled at him. Rogers smiled back.
"You're staying behind on the carrier? Agent Barton is coming with us too and there's still space on the plane."
"I'd love to, but I have to wait for…"
The door opened and Loki stepped out. Fury was close behind, having led him out.
"It's been a pleasure, Director," Loki said with a fake smile and shook Fury's hand.
"The pleasure is all mine," Fury said. She couldn't see his face behind the doorframe, but she guessed his smile was just as ingenuine. "See you on Monday."
Loki nodded and the door slammed shut. He looked at the items in his hand – a temporary employee card and a cellphone – then fumbled to stash them into his pocket, with all the grace of someone who never had used pockets in their life.
She turned to Rogers. "Make that two seats and we've got a deal."