Ohhh hello my lovely readers. I'm not going to keep you long here, I'm just going to let you know that I LOVED this chapter. There's feels and I imagine you'll love it too! Let me know What you think! Quick disclaimer that I hold no rights to anything Marvel before I send you on your way! Enjoy! Xoxo-NickyLynn
There were so many more people than Tessa was expecting filling the hall, and as she and Thor walked into the busy room, she could feel all of their eyes on her. Tessa tried to keep her head high as Thor led her into the mass of people, but the weight of their stares weighed down on her shoulders heavily. She focused on her breathing, keeping the air moving in and out in slow steady breaths. Her grip on Thor's arm was so tight she had begun to wonder if he was losing circulation in his hand, yet she couldn't bring herself to loosen it. Thor led her over to a familiar group of people and Tessa let out a sigh of relief.
"Ah! And there she is, the woman of the night!" Fandral exclaimed as they strode over to the group of warriors all dressed in their finest. "And my how ravishing she looks!" he said, stepping forward and taking her hand in his, pressing a light kiss to the back of it.
"You look rather handsome yourself." Tessa told him with a smile as he stood back up. "You all look great." She then said, directing her comment to the rest of the four warriors.
"I do hope you'll be saving me a dance later." Fandral told her.
"And bring the wrath of your long string of lovers upon me?" she asked with a raised brow. "That would be positively suicidal." She joked.
"Oh please. The only lover Fandral has stung behind him is himself." Sif said, pulling a golden goblet up to her lips with a smirk.
"Well, in that case, perhaps one dance wouldn't hurt." Tessa said then. "Though I must warn you that my dancing will not be anything good. I'm afraid even on Midgard my skills are questionable at best."
"I don't think you'll have to worry about anyone watching your dancing. They'll be too distracted by your beauty to notice." Thor told her.
"Or by your gown." Sif said, nodding down at her shimmering bodice. "Those aren't real, are they?" she asked.
"To be honest I was too scared to ask." Tessa said, looking down at herself. "You can thank the Allmother for all of….this." she said, motioning a hand around herself. "I would never had chosen anything this….shiny. I feel like a disco ball." She confessed.
"A what ball?" Sif asked, confused by the Midgardian word.
"Oh, it's-" she began before the Allmother herself came up from behind them, interrupting her explanation.
"Good evening everyone." She said, stepping up to the group. The warriors all returned her greeting with their own before giving her praise for the lavishness of tonight's festivities. She thanked them politely before turning to Tessa. "I was hoping I could steal Tessa from you. There are people Odin would like to introduce you to." She said, looking over at Tessa.
"Oh, um, yeah, of course." Tessa told her before turning back to the group of friends. "I'll find you all later." She promised them.
"I should hope so. You still owe me that dance!" Fandral called out to her as Tessa followed Frigga through the crowd.
"You seem rather friendly with Fandral." Frigga said quietly as the pair moved through the room, giving Tessa a raised brow. "He is quite handsome, and a skilled warrior."
"Oh, no. No, it's not like that!" Tessa said, shaking her head. "No, he's just a friend is all, I swear." Tessa said adamantly.
"Oh." Frigga said. "Well, forgive me. A mother wonders is all." She said with a smile.
"Oh, trust me, there's nothing to wonder about. I haven't had a love life, so to speak, since I was a still a girl." She told her. "And I have no intentions of starting one, let alone with Fandral."
"Well now, I'm not sure if that worries me more or less." Frigga said as they walked up to Odin, who was mid conversation with a tall, older man and an equally tall younger man, both of whom had pale, almost glowing, skin and dark hair.
"Ah. Daughter! I think the stars find themselves jealous of your beauty tonight." Odin said, motioning a hand out towards her.
"Tessa, this is King Dorrmer and his eldest son, Prince Luthian." Frigga told her, introducing her to the two men.
"You're from Alfeim." Tessa said, recognizing the names from both Frigga's teachings and Loki's story.
"Indeed, we are." The elder man of the group said. "The tale of Asgard's lost princess, returned after all these years, has spread quickly across the realms. I am honored to be in your presence once again." King Dorrmer said, bringing a fist across his chest and bowing towards her.
"Oh, um, the pleasures mine." Tessa said, feeling incredibly out of place.
"Perhaps you could grace my son with the first dance of the evening." He said, motioning over to the younger man standing next to him silently.
"Oh, I'm-" Tessa began to protest, not feeling ready to dance with a foreign prince from another realm.
"I'm sure she would be honored to dance with Prince Luthian!" Odin said, though, answering for her.
Tessa's jaw snapped shut as she looked from Odin, over to the prince she was to dance with. She looked over at Frigga quickly, but knew it was best not to argue with Odin in the middle of a large watching crowd. Tessa looked back over at Luthian, giving him a tight-lipped smile. "Of course." She said, figuring it was best to just get it over with.
"My Lady." Prince Luthian said, holding his hand out to her.
Tessa slid her hand into his palm, before he pulled her through the crowd and into the center of the room. The crowd spread out, making a wide berth for the pair as soft music began filling the room. Tessa tried to keep her nerves from consuming her as Luthian brought his hand down on her waist and pulled her close. Tessa tried stepping back ever so slightly, but found it nearly impossible to move as he kept a strong grip on her side. The music floated around them and Luthian began to move, leading Tessa into a dance. She found the moves similar enough to that of a waltz, so she found that she could mostly keep up with him, but was also so incredibly focused on her feet, that when he spoke, it nearly startled her.
"You know, Odin must think himself awfully cleaver." The tall prince said, guiding her around in a circle, speaking quietly so that only they could hear.
"And why is that?" Tessa asked him, looking up at him with a raised brow.
"He thinks all this grandeur can help hide the stain that has been laid upon the House of Odin." He said, and Tessa suddenly wished she had not agreed to this dance. She continued to plaster on her fake smile as the crowd around them watched as she was forced to keep up the ruse of obedient princess. "He thinks that dangling you in front of us all like a shiny new toy will distract us from the foul odor coming from the depths of this palace." He said, bringing a tension to Tessa's shoulders. "Though I have you admit, you are a rather good distraction." He said, looking down at her with a smirk. "But it will take so much more than a pretty face and some shiny gems to distract everyone from the stories of the would-be prince who fell from his golden pedestal. How tragic it must be to want a crown so bad that you would be willing to take it from the head of your own brother."
"How tragic it must be to be lacking faults so that you must go looking for them in other people." Tessa responded, finding it nearly impossible to keep smiling like nothing was going amiss between the two.
"You defend him." Luthian said, raising his brow in surprise.
"And why shouldn't I?" she asked him. "He is my family."
"That's not what I heard." He said, leaning in closer to her. "There are whispers." He said, his lips nearly touching her ear. "Whispers that Odin had but one son, not two. Whispers that the House of Odin brought into its heart a monster. A monster who has put a stain upon the same house which brought it refuge."
"Well," Tessa said, pushing him back enough so she could glare up at his smug face. "I'll have you and anyone else who cares to whisper about things that do not pertain to them know, that the definitions of family do not lie within the binds of blood." She said snidely. "Loki is my family. He is not a monster, and I am not just some shiny distraction!" she told him, letting just enough of her powers flow through her that he was sent stumbling back, landing on ass, looking up at her in shock.
"Oh." She said, bringing her hand up to her mouth in faux alarm. "You seem to have to tripped, My prince." She said. "I do hope you haven't hurt yourself."
"You-!" he said, pushing himself off the floor in anger.
"Are you alright Prince Luthian?" came Frigga voice, coming up beside Tessa.
Luthian looked from Frigga to Tessa, the muscle in his jaw twitching in anger. He was smart enough to stifle down his contempt in the presence of the Allmother. "Of course, Queen Frigga." He said, forcing a smile. "Thank you for the dance Lady Tessa." He said, bowing down before her before brushing past and weaving back through the crowd.
Once he was out of sight, Tessa let out a breath of relief. "Please don't tell me they're all that….contemptuous." she said, looking over at Frigga.
"I'm sorry my dear, I do not know what transpired between you two, but I know he's always been a little sharped-edged, even as a boy. I suspect old wounds have not healed from past transgressions that had nothing to do with you." Frigga told her in sympathy, having a suspicion what her daughter had become so upset over.
"Yeah well, I'm not the one who went and screwed his sister, so maybe next time he can just ask Thor to dance and leave me out of it." She scoffed.
"Tessa!" Frigga exclaimed, looking over at her in surprise. Tessa just smiled over at her, not really feeling sorry in the least. "Norns, you're worst than your brother, I swear."
"Speaking of which." Tessa said, noticing Thor and the warriors at one of the long tables along the side of the room. "I think I'm going to go join them for a drink." She said before nearly running off before she could be coerced into dancing with anyone else. She made her way over to the table where Thor and his friends were sitting, drinking, and laughing. "New rule." Tessa said, sitting down in the space next to Sif. "For now on I'll sleep with the wayward princesses and you can be the one who has to dance with their vindictive brothers." Tessa said, reaching forward and grabbing a cup od ale as Thor sprayed the liquid in his mouth out across the table.
"I second that plan." Sif said, bringing her cup up to Tessa's and clinking them together as Thor began coughing as he tried to clear his windpipe. Tessa smiled at the other woman before bringing her cup up to her lips and draining it down in one go. This would be a long night it seemed, and she definitely would need more alcohol to get through it. So, she reached forward and filled up cup again, letting out a heavy sigh as she did.
Alcohol, it seemed, made the night immensely more traversable. With a decent buzz in place, she found being swept about the room, greeting anyone and everyone who wished to meet her, easier than expected. Despite the rather rough start of the night, she found herself enjoying her time. She had even been drawn into some fascinating conversations about different realms by a few rather friendly people. Tessa found their differences fascinating and had a difficult time pulling away from their conversations as she was swept away to the next person. Around and around she went through the room, from one person to the next, until she had begun to feel dizzy by it all. And after a couple more rounds of dancing, with both Fandral and Thor, Tessa found that she was quickly being drained of her capability to experience anymore. Her mind was already a spinning mess of new faces and information that it was trying to process through the alcohol and so, half way through the night, just as everyone began to enjoy themselves, Tessa made an excuse to retreat to her room.
"Oh, come on!" Sif said drunkenly, pulling at her hand, trying to keep her from leaving. "The night's still young and this is your party! You can't leave now!"
"I know! How disappointing for me that all the realms shall remember me as the Asgardian Princess who could not hold her liquor." She jested. "I fear my bed and a good night's sleep is the only thing that could cure this dizziness that has overtaken me." Tessa said, feeling bad for ending the night short, but already having made plans that she didn't want to be swayed from.
"Aww. Don't leave me with them!" Sif said, motioning behind her to the group of men who had women draped over them like accessories, everyone laughing and having a good time.
"I'm sorry, Sif." Tessa said, laughing. "You'll just have to survive on your own." She said remorsefully.
"Fine." Sif relented with a sigh. "Would you like me to escort you back to your room at least?" "Oh, no. I was just going to…you know…poof there." Tessa said, wiggling her fingers for emphasis.
"Alright your poofiness." Sif said, dropping herself down on the table. "Poof away then." She said, waving her away.
Tessa smiled down at Sif before reaching over and grabbing hold of another cup of ale. "I think I'll just take one of these with me." She said. "And one of these." She then said, reaching over and grabbing one of the lemon cakes from the stack in the center of the table. Sif raised a brow at her but didn't say anything. "Okay…now I'm good. Goodnight Sif!" she said before transporting herself out of the loud, boisterous room, internally vowing to make up her early retreat by spending time with her and the others tomorrow.
Tessa wasn't lying when she said she couldn't handle anymore celebration. She had reached her limit of just how much entertaining she could do and needed to get away to be able to breathe once again. However, she had lied about where she was heading. Instead of transporting herself back into her room, she landed herself down in the familiar cold hall, sneaking past the guards stationed at the entrance and moving up to Loki's cell as quietly as she could. Unfortunately for her, she had consumed more alcohol than she intended and nearly tripped on the step, letting out a yelp of surprise as she did. Loki shot up from his bed, looking down at her in surprise as she watched the liquid in her goblet slosh around dangerously close to the edge. "Well, that was close." She muttered out before looking up at Loki. "Uh..hi." she said.
Loki's wide eyes narrowed down at her. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a party to get back to?" he spit out at her.
"Yes, well there's a whole lot of people up there and I think I've had my fill of all that I can handle." she said stepping up to the barrier. "Besides, it didn't really seem fair that I should be getting all the well wishes when it's your birthday, too."
"It's not my birthday." He bit out. "In case you have forgotten, it never was."
Tessa pushed past his curtness, knowing he must have been feeling terrible tonight. And that was why she had wanted to make this visit in the first place. She knew tonight would be hard on Loki, for several reasons. The least she could do was pay him a visit and do what she could to ease his pain, of only a little. "Well, it's more your birthday than it is mine. I've always celebrated in the middle of the year with my brother…or uh, Steve." She said shaking her head. "You've celebrated this day for over a thousand years, seems kind of silly to stop now. Besides, I snuck you some ale and a lemon cake." She said, holding them up. "Mother said it was your favorite."
"I don't want them, and I don't want your company." He said, turning his back to her and walking away from the barrier. "Go back to your party Princess, I'm sure there are no shortage of people who yearn your company there."
"But it's not their company I want." She said, shaking her head. "Loki, I wish to be here with you, not up there with them." She insisted, only to be met by silence. "Loki, please look at me." She begged, finding his cold demeanor towards her hurtful. Still, he kept his back turned and his lips sealed together in silence.
Tessa wasn't sure why she did was she did next. Perhaps it was from the heavy drinking she had been doing, or perhaps she would have done the same had she not been under the effects of alcohol. Either way, she knew it was a stupid decision, yet she did it anyways. She transported herself into the cell, Loki not having noticed her sudden proximity. She set the cup and dessert down on his table before reaching forward and touching the back of his arm. "Loki-" she began hesitantly.
Tessa had not expected what happened next. Loki spun around, startled at her closeness, but before she could get another word out, she was thrust back against the wall, Loki's hand wrapped dangerously tight around her throat.
"Are you so daft that you would actually trust me?" he seethed at her, face inches away from her own. Tessa's own hands scrambled to pry Loki's hand off her neck, but he only tightened his hold. "You dumb girl! You've just given me the one thing I needed to secure my escape!" he told her. "How foolish of you to think that your petty sentiments would mean anything to me!"
Tessa watched Loki with wide eyes as she struggled to breathe under his grip. He loosened his hold enough that she could suck in a breath and answer. "You're right." She gasped out. "I wouldn't even blame you." She forced out of her closing throat. "So do it. Call the guards. Do it!" she said, throwing as much force behind her words as she could muster.
Loki's eyes bore into hers, which were now red with straining blood vessels. Tessa knew that she could overpower Loki. She could easily push him off and transport herself to safety, but the truth was she didn't want to. She didn't want to fight Loki. She felt his fingers beginning to loosen before he withdrew from her completely and spun around with a grunt of frustration. Tessa sagged against the wall as she filled her lungs again, coughing as the air burned as it passed through her injured trachea.
"Why do you do this to me?!" he nearly shouted in frustration, spinning around to her. "Why?! Why do you insist on tormenting me so?!"
"Ale and a treat are considered torment to you?!" she said, looking up at him as she leveled out her breathing again, her voice raspy.
"It's you which is the torment!" he told her, motioning over to her.
"Am I really so awful that my company torments you?" she asked, tears burning in her eyes.
"It's because I enjoy your company that I find it tormenting!" he told her. "Why must you insist on seeking out something inside of me which is not seekable? I'm a monster who will only bring pain upon you!" He said, tears shining in his eyes. The anger and pain washing inside him like a tidal wave. "Why can't you see that like everyone else?!"
"I have met many monsters in my life, Loki." She told him, trying to keep her voice even. "I have suffered under the hands of monsters! I have known their pain! But I do not consider you one of them!" Tessa told him, stepping away from the wall and toward him. "Loki, you say there is nothing which I can seek inside you, but you are wrong. I've already found it. Why can't you see that?" She shot back at him. "I am sorry if I have caused you pain, that…that is not what I desire. I have only ever wished to ease it, if only minutely."
"Why?" Loki asked again, the anger in him dissipating into sadness.
She was silent for a moment, watching him struggle under the weight of his pain. "Because I loved you once." She told him finally, taking another step closer. "And there's a part of me which still loves you, even now." She admitted.
"Then you are a fool." Loki told her, shaking his head.
"I've been called worse." She said with a shrug, her mouth lifting into a sad smile. Tessa went to reach out to him, but before she could, she saw movement out of the corner of her eye and just as one of the guards came back down into the corridor, she transported herself out of the cell, leaving Loki to process his heavy thoughts alone.
When Tessa made it back to her room she moved over to the bed, dropping herself down on it heavily. Her fingers caressed the tender flesh of her throat as she replayed the memories in her mind. She let out a long breath as she let herself fall back onto the mattress, staring up at the ceiling in dismay. She knew it was a foolish thing to do…going into his cell…..but at the same time there was a part of her that was glad she had done it. For Loki proved something to her in that moment. He had proved that she had been right all along. There was goodness in him still. There was something there worth fighting for, and it may have made her a fool….but she refused to give up on that.
"Do you think that it is fun to do this? I don't know why I'm doing it. It's trying to kill to keep yourself alive, I imagine. I was all right when we started talking. I didn't mean to start this, and now I'm crazy as a coot and being as cruel to you as I can be. Don't pay any attention, darling, to what I say. I love you, really. You know I love you. I've never loved anyone else the way I love you." -Ernest Hemmingway, The Snows of Kilimanjaro