I really wanted to read Brittany g!p stories, but there wasn't any I haven't read, so I thought I'd write one for myself.

Glee and its characters do not belong to me.

If you are a 17 year old girl with blue eyes, long blonde hair and banging body, your chances for getting laid should be really high. And normally they are. But not in my case, no. Why not, you ask? Well, I guess having a little something extra in your pants can really slim down those chances. I know I'm not the only person like this (I'm pretty sure Jenna Peterson in my Biology class is packing too), but it's not exactly easiest thing to reveal on your first date. Or even on tenth. Not that I've ever tried. And I'm kinda hung up on someone. So yeah.

Anyway, what's slimming down those chances even more is that I'm kinda sorta really really gay. That was another realization that downed on me along with finding out that penises aren't just for peeing. I mean I always knew I liked girls, but I didn't actually think I was a lesbian until that one day.

It was by the end of August of the year I had turned 14 (I had always been an innocent child. Too innocent even. I am what you call a really late bloomer). My family had just returned from our trip to Netherlands, from where we Pierces (at least my family) are originally from (hence my Flying Dutchman costume for every Halloween (with beard and everything) and where the rest of my family lives. After I had finished unpacking, I decided to go to the park to feed the ducks. I had been gone for the whole summer, so imagine how hungry they must have gotten. Besides, I've got to admit it's absolutely one of my most favorite things to do. It's just so relaxing.

So there I set on the bench, with a loaf of bread in my hand and, what I imagine, a faraway look on my face (I remember I was thinking about rectangular cheeseburger I had eaten earlier), when I heared splashing sound of water which was followed by laughter that broke me out of my haze. When my eyes found the source of the noise I saw a girl emerge from the lake. She was seething with rage, but I remember thinking that I had never seen a girl as beautiful as her. I couldn't help starting at how her clothes were clinging to her body like second skin. The water had made her white shirt transparent and I could see her bra. Her tanned skin looked so much like truffle, which is the best kind of chocolate there is. I was in a whole new kind of daze.

That's when this strange sensation below my waist began. I started feeling lightheaded all of a sudden, which, I've gotta admit, freaked me out. I totally thought I was dying, so I dropped the bread and took off. I really don't remember how I got home that day. All I thought about was that I had to say goodbye to Tubby and my parents and how I hadn't eaten icosahedron shaped cheeseburger yet and, well, that I really didn't want to die yet.

When I did get home though, I had the most awkward and embarrassing talk with my parents. What I feared to be some strange fatal European disease turned out to be an absolutely normal erection. That calmed me down a little, but it worried me that what I thought a cute little part of my anatomy suddenly grew and became way less cute and kinda demanding. It did go down some time later but I was still bothered.

You're probably wondering why I didn't know about these things before. Well, my parents actually had tried to give me "the talk" several times before, but the birds and bees reference always left me confused since I was convinced the storks were involved in the babymaking process, so they gave up. My mom said I totally could call it stork if I wanted to, which left both me and my dad blushing.

That summer day three years ago turned out to be really enlightening for me, and, oh! What's more, I found the love of my life that very same day!

Of course, back then I didn't even suspect about this. But I did think of the stranger from the lake quite a lot after that day. I didn't know anything about the girl. Not her name, where she lived, or how she ended up thrown into the water. I was pretty sure I had never even seen her before. I couldn't help feeling intrigued by her. I mean the girl practically woke my body up. I'm pretty sure all of you would have felt the same.

I wanted to go back to the park every day after that, but every time I went near the entrance my knees started to shake and I felt really nauseous. When I returned home another wave of nausea began. I was afraid of seeing her and I was afraid of not seeing her. That week was really confusing and honestly it scared me quite a lot.

However, I was put out of my misery (well, not really but still) when the new school year started and I met my mystery girl again. Who was in almost all of my classes and went by the name of Santana Lopez. And may I add, was even more breathtaking close up and smelled like heaven and sounded like an angel. Whenever she wasn't insulting someone that is. But I gotta admit she always looked absolutely sexy while doing it.

Yeah, she turned out to be a big meanie and that only got worse when she joined the cheerios.

When I heard about that I contemplated joining too, so I could spend more time with her, and you know how they say that common interests can bring people closer, but when I saw their uniform I had to say no to that idea. Firstly, my penis would have been on the display for eveyone in those spanks, and then I'm pretty sure they would cut off my blood circulation down below and I'd really like to have little Pierces one day. Hopefully with tanned skin and dark hair.

So, that idea was a no go, but I still had to join some after class activities. I guess I should say that over that summer I had grown quite a bit, so I was a tall and lanky teenager. That's why the coach was on my back for weeks to get me to join the basketball team. In the moment of weakness I agreed to give it a try and actually ended up loving it. And it actually turned out pretty great, cos now whenever our team had a game the cheerios had to cheer for us (it's what they do after all, even if sometimes their coach forgets about it). In my junior year I became a captain, which got me high up in the food chain. Not as high as the lady of my dreams, but still.

Anyway, this story begins in my senior year. A week after the practices started one of my teammates passed me the ball when I wasn't looking. It ended up hitting me right in the face. It hurt like crazy and blood from my nose painted my t-shirt red, but it had been red to begin with. I had to go see the school nurse, who told me that luckily my nose wasn't broken, but I had to lay down for a while and hold an ice-pack on it.

And here I am, on the bed in the nurse's office. I think I drifted off for some time, because when I open my eyes there's Santana, dressed in the most alluring candy stripper outfit I have ever seen, staring at me with an amused expression. What can I say, she likes seeing people in pain.

I stare right back in confusion. I mean why would she be dressed like a stripper in school. Then it suddenly hits me.

"God," I groan out, closing my eyes, "Nurse?! I think I have a concussion. I'm seeing things." I really hope this doesn't mean bed rest. Plese don't let it mean bed res...

However I'm interrupted with the sound of angelic laughter. "No, you're not, and keep that ice-pack on your nose."

"You sure?" I ask, still not really convinced.

"Pretty sure," She says with a smile, "My eyes are up here Pierce."

I roll my eyes, blushing slightly, way to go Brittany, "um, why are you here?"

"Am I bothering you? I can leave." She looks smug as heck. Totally knows my answer.

"No no, I was just asking."

"Well, if you must know, I'm planning to go to a med school. I thought I could get some practice."

"Dressed like that?"

"Might as well look sexy while doing it." She shruggs nonchalantly. Then skips from the bed opposite of mine and leaves. Just like that.

Well this was strange. Santana and I, we've never been friends. I'm sure this is the longest conversation we've ever had. But she has never been rude or mean to me either, so I'm not entirely sure what our relationship or whatever is. I'm not even sure this conversation was real.

But later that same week even stranger one takes place.

I'm sitting in the library slaving over my literature essay when a shadow falls on my table.

"Pierce, we need to talk. Pick me up at seven, we're going to BreadstiX."

"But I... don't know where you live." I stare at her retreating figure with wide eyes and I have to admit my heartbeat is somewhat irregular.