NorthernMage here! To be honest, this idea has been going around for far too long. I kind of just kept getting unhappy with it and changing it. I think I did a good job of keeping them in character, though...given I couldn't choose between two different ideas for this oneshot, it's turned out well, compared to what it was while writing.

The scene where N reacts to being called Ash's friend kept bugging me. It's made clear he isn't against having friends in the anime, so here's my explanation.

Ash: NorthernMage doesn't own Pokemon.

'And who's this young man?'

'Uh-'

'He's N, and he's a friend of ours!' Ash told Cedric. N stared.

'A friend?' He closed his eyes, mentally pushing that to the side for the moment.

'Professor, I know you have the Light Stone...'

~:~

The red glow of the Light Stone was almost entrancing, N thought, looking at it. To think that such a small - relatively, at least - object held the Pokemon that had singlehandedly torn down an entire mansion two years ago was both amazing and terrifying.

Ash had been quiet for a few minutes. The younger boy seemed to have an incredibly strong connection with his Pokemon. He even wanted to make friends with Reshiram.

Normally I'd be all for that, but Reshiram...there was so much anger. A Pokemon like that, powerful enough that it really could do what it said, burn down the entire world...

Although, Ash has already been so different from the other Pokemon trainers I've met. Still, he wasn't there when Reshiram attacked-

'Hey N?' Startled out of his thoughts, N blinked, before looking over to Ash. The younger boy was looking at him in confusion.

'Yes, Ash?'

'Earlier, when Cedric asked us who you were, why were you so surprised?'

'Surprised?' His memory of the event was a bit hazy, after all, he had fallen down a hole that felt very deep not long after. Also, he'd been focused on finding out what the professor's intentions were for the Stone.

'You had just turned up, telling us the rest of Reshiram's story.' Ash prompted. N's eyes widened, remembering.

'Oh, yes. I remember that.'

'You were really surprised when I said you were our friend, though.' The black-haired boy told N.

The teen stared at him for a long moment before sighing, turning his gaze back to the Light Stone. His eyes tracked the waves of light that poured off it.

'Ash, I'm going to ask you something and I need you to answer honestly. Don't try and be nice, just honest.' Blinking in surprise, Ash nodded.

'Okay...'

'How many friends do you think I have?'

'Well, there are the Poke-'

'Not including Pokemon.' N interrupted, still focused on the Light Stone. Ash was stunned at his request for a moment. In the time he'd known the older teen, he'd always loved Pokemon, calling all of the ones he'd met friends. What was N trying to say?

'There are Anthea and Concordia, and there's Iris, Cilan, and me too. Those are just the ones I know about though.' Ash replied. 'You said that you travelled a lot in the past few years, you would've made friends in other places too that I don't know about!'

'Anthea and Concordia are more like family than anything else, and I don't always see them that often.' N told him, turning to look at him. 'They're more than friends, they're family to me. It's not that they aren't my friends, rather they're in a different category.'

'But what about other people you've met?' Ash asked.

'I saw most of them maybe once or twice...there weren't many I'd consider friends. There were trainers that I was surprised by, though. Still, I saw them maybe once or twice, most a long time ago.'

'So...' Ash began, slowly piecing together what N was implying, 'what you're saying is that, while Pokemon are really important to you, you don't have many human friends?'

The lack of any response from the older boy was answer enough.

'N...' Ash could barely imagine it - the entire time he'd been on his quest to become a Pokemon Master, he'd always had people with him. What N was telling him was the complete opposite - N had traveled, just as he had, but most of it had been done alone, and he hadn't made many attachments to people.

Everything was falling into place. While N was used to making friends with Pokemon, he'd rarely made friends with people. Ash looked at N, almost as if seeing him for the first time.

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bringing all of this up.' N said suddenly, looking away, seeing Ash's expression at his earlier words. 'I'm just not used to people saying they're my friend, that's all.'

It's nothing Ash should worry about. The only person it really affects is me, after all, he thought. And I'm fine with it.

'Wait, back when we were trying to get Braviary away from Team Plasma, you said that you knew there were good trainers, that didn't hurt their Pokemon.' Ash said, suddenly remembering. 'Does that mean you've met trainers like that before?'

'Yes, so?'

'What about being friends with them?' N looked surprised by this.

'Ash, I didn't really stay in contact with them. Anyway, sometimes it's...' Sometimes it's just too hard to make friends, and you don't have a lot in common with them no matter what you do. I have a few human friends, it's enough for me. 'It's just too hard.'

Ash stared at him for a moment. 'It might be easier than you think.' N was silent for a moment before making a non-committal sound. If he was honest, he didn't really believe what the younger boy was saying.

It was harder than the younger boy likely realised. Ever since they'd met Halsey, he'd been trying to accept Pokemon and humans working together in dangerous situations, something he'd seen a lot of but had never agreed with. Becoming friends with people who directly opposed everything you believed in was not only difficult, but also painful.

If he decided to become friends with trainers, he would be subjecting himself to watching Pokemon battles. Also, he had to try and not say too much about his views on Pokemon even around those who weren't trainers.

The only other option was to completely toss aside all his beliefs on Pokemon, which was far beyond what he was prepared to do simply for the sake of a friendship.

'Well, N,' Ash said, 'we're your friends. I think Anthea and Concordia are your friends too, by the way. You didn't see how they reacted after you got hurt in Driftveil City. They care about you a lot.' N looked over at Ash for the first time in what felt like ages.

'You really think so?'

'Yeah, of course I do!' He smiled gratefully.

'Thanks, Ash.'

'Nah, it was no big deal!'

'...still, thank you.'

Basically, N wants human friends and more or less knows how, it's just a bit difficult. Finding people who he can relate to would be hard.

Review?