Internal Warfare

By JenesisX

Prologue

Emerald eyes stared out into the darkened sky, searching the stars as if to unlock their hidden wisdom. Slender arms wrapped protectively around her body, legs tucked beneath her small frame in the window seat as she looked in vain for answers. Though she was safe inside her own apartment, Aeris' thoughts were troubled and restless. Familiar haunting words repeated again and again inside her mind, fresh goose bumps rising on her flesh with each repetition.

"There will be a great loss…"

Her heart was heavy with grief as she contemplated the Planet's meaning, a deep ache in her chest that never went away. It had been nearly three months since she'd received the message, yet it had not spoken to her again. She'd meditated so many times, both frightened and hopeful she would receive further guidance, but there had been only silence to greet her prayers. Day after day she felt her tension grow, her mind repeatedly drawn back to the disturbing vision. Part of the message had been so positive, bringing news of the Planet's recovery and healing. But the rest of it…

"A sacrifice…"

Tears burned her eyes, an all too familiar feeling of loss washing over her. Was she being called on again to give her life to save the Planet from ruin? As the last of the Cetra, she knew it was her duty, her purpose… The first time it had been asked of her, she'd been willing to do so without question. It had brought her great sorrow and regret, but she knew it was the right thing to do. Something inside her had risen up and given her the strength to head toward certain death without fear. This time, she was terrified.

"It is necessary for the good of all…"

The Planet had told her it was growing stronger, that there would soon be a cleansing that would rid it of the remaining dangers. She knew it would not come easily, but this time what it was asking of her… Aeris was not sure she was prepared to give.

Things were different now. It had been over a year since that first time, and so much had changed. She closed her eyes, the painful tightness growing in her chest as she thought of her husband. How could leaving him behind possibly be considered 'the good of all?' He relied on her, needed her, trusted her not to leave him. She had promised. The very thought of violating that hard-earned trust shook her to the core of her being and sent a shiver racing down her spine.

How can you ask me to do this?

She heard his key in the door and braced herself, though she did not change position and kept her eyes directed out the window. A moment later it opened and she listened as Sephiroth unfastened the leash from his Great Dane's collar, freeing Blade to race into the apartment. He was breathless and excited from his evening walk, heading directly to the kitchen to drink loudly from his massive water bowl. The sound normally made her smile, but tonight it brought no joy.

Aeris watched in the reflection of the glass as Sephiroth hung up the leash and removed his trench coat and boots in the foyer. When he turned and saw her sitting in the window, a soft smile lit up his normally serious expression. Aeris was instantly filled with guilt, hoping he could not feel it through their strong mental connection. She sensed his content and love for her as he crossed the room, though his smile faded when she didn't turn to greet him. She realized she was frowning and tried to soften her expression, unable to meet his eyes even through the windowpane. It simply hurt too much.

"Aeris?" he finally asked, his deep voice quiet and more than a bit concerned. "Are you all right?" He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she barely noticed that he'd already removed his gloves. For her. He'd been trying so hard and gained so much ground, but as she sat gazing out into the night Aeris felt as if she was already losing him.

She forced a weak smile and nodded absently, a lump in her throat. "Yea, Seph. I'm fine… just tired."

She sensed his concern for her and knew he wasn't entirely convinced. He stepped closer and slipped an arm around her from behind, his hand coming to rest on her stomach. His body was warm against her back, and there was an awkward uncertainty in his eyes when she finally met them in the reflection. "Come to bed, then?" he asked, leaning down to lay a trail of soft kisses along the side of her neck.

Aeris could feel his desire mixed with an insecure need to be held. He was worried about the way she'd been acting as of late, but also making a continued effort to initial physical contact. He had struggled so hard with that aspect of carrying on a normal relationship, and she'd spent the entirety of their marriage encouraging him and building his confidence. She knew she should have been thrilled. She should have been so proud of him, turned around, and kissed him breathless. But while her body began to respond to his attentions her heart remained heavy with guilt and dread. She had to protect him, prepare him for what was to come. She was so confused, so torn, and he was far too close. Suddenly, she couldn't breathe.

"Seph, I… I think I'm going to stay up for a while, okay?" she said quietly, leaning away from him with effort and fighting the tears that burned her eyes.

She closed her eyes so she couldn't see his hurt reflected back at her, but it was useless. The jolt of pain that passed through their mental connection was as sharp as a slap to the face. He instantly raised his head and removed his arm as if the contact burned, hovering behind her for a moment in stunned silence. She could almost hear him thinking, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. Aeris lowered her head in shame, his confusion and hurt washing over her. Pain, rejection, frustration. She heard him take an awkward step backwards and pause before he quietly cleared his throat.

"Very well. Good night, Aeris," he said. His deep voice was monotone, but the slightest trace of hurt crept in when he spoke her name.

She glanced up in time to watch him gesture to his dog, who had been silently observing them from his bed in the corner. The massive creature obediently rose and followed his master down the hallway, and Aeris heard the door to the master bedroom click shut a moment later. It was only then that she let out the breath she'd been holding and allowed the tears to fall.

She loved him so much, and they had grown so close. Too close. She had never known love could feel like what they shared. The powerful connection that existed between them had only grown stronger, deeper and more controlled, and by now she was certain it was due to her abilities as a Cetra. His Jenova cells seemed to heighten the effect, however, and it had only drawn the two of them closer... nearly inseparable. Sometimes when their minds touched she got lost in him and the line between them seemed to blur. She was no longer alone with no one to understand her, and he depended on her to keep him grounded as his fragile mind continued to heal. He still suffered from terrible flashbacks and nightmares, struggling so desperately against his past as he fought to be a positive part of the future. She knew he was not yet strong enough to stand on his own, and a part of her had begun to realize that he might never be. Gods, she had seen first hand what happened to Vincent after he lost Lucrecia… That she might soon inflict the same pain and suffering on the man she loved tore at her soul.

She hadn't been able to bring herself to tell him about the message… the warnings… though she knew he was aware that something was bothering her. This was not the first time she'd been distant, though she'd never actually turned him away before. She felt horrible and hated herself for it, but her heart told her that she was only protecting him. Preparing him. He needed to become less dependant and be able to take care of himself. He had to be ready to go on without her… to survive when she was gone.

Aeris angrily wiped the tears from her eyes and wished she had never had the disturbing vision. She wished she was a normal woman without intrusive voices in her head, one who could simply love her husband and their friends and family without the weight of the Planet on her small shoulders. She'd thought that the worst was behind them. Everything had been going so well for all of them, and there had been peace ever since they'd settled in Junon Harbor the year before. But she had been a fool to think it could last, and suddenly even the stars looked foreboding.

((Author's Notes: Welcome to the newest story in my Irony of Fate Alternate Universe series! I'm really excited about this one and honored that you have decided to check it out. Hopefully you enjoyed it so far and will choose to 'Follow' along. For those of you who are not familiar with me and my AU, all of this started back in 1998 with my original story, Irony of Fate. There is a lot of history here that led us to where the characters are now, but I believe I write in such a way that you'll be able to follow this story without reading all of the previous ones. I am also working on a website which will feature a summary section that explains all of the continuity and background for my AU.

- This story directly follows Transformations, and picks up about three months after its conclusion. The message from the Planet Aeris is reflecting on comes from Chapter Twenty Six of that story if you would like to see the entire scene. For those of you wondering what became of Vincent and Lucrecia after the epilogue, worry not. Obviously I am not going to forget about them (I think it's obvious I have a Vincent obsession, no?). This fic will feature a lot more of the rest of our beloved cast, but he is still the main focus and will play a huge role. So just trust me. ;) It is looking as if this is going to be a VERY long story, so buckle up and get ready! I will aim for updates every one to two weeks, but please keep in mind that I suffer from chronic health issues and sometimes get a bit delayed. I will always do my best, however, because this story is already very important to me… as are all of you.

- Preview: Look for Chapter One within the next few days! I have it pretty much finished and ready to go. It features everyone's favorite Wutaiian ninja and a handful of former Turks. I am very much looking forward to working on this project and hearing from all of you, so please take a moment to share your thoughts on this prologue and let me know what you think! Reviews mean so much to me, and I love to hear from my readers. It helps let me know if I'm doing well or not, and also keeps me motivated to keep going. I really do I have the best and most loyal followers on the site, and I would also love to see you all on my Facebook page (the link is in my profile). Til next time! ~ JenesisX ))