War isn't about Forgiveness
He was cursed. He was cursed and alone once again in this damn house at number 4 Privet Drive, Surrey. He was alone in the smallest bedroom owned by people who hated him and who he hated. He was stuck here once again, forced to survive this hell hole once again because Dumbledore insisted that "it is for your safety Mr. Potter."
Dumbledore had told him that many times and something about wards connected to his aunt, his cousin, and himself through his mother. He was forced to live here because those people were his 'family' or more specifically because of blood magic.
As if, those people are my family they … they… they've messed with me for years and now I stuck here again. I hate them! If only Sirius had … oh Merlin Sirius I'm so so so sorry … you were the best family I've ever had even it was for only a night Harry thought.
He flipped over on his bed glad the house was empty for the day as he screamed into his pillow as anger, grief, and stress overwhelmed him from thinking of the rat, Sirius, and Lupin. All morons in their own right from the decisions they made right along with himself.
"We should have killed him like they said" he said out loud to no one
A second passed before Harry reconsidered his dark thoughts Then again maybe we should've stunned him and floated him back to Hogwarts, though Professor Lup-, Remus as he instated, still forgot to take his potion.
Him being a werewolf explains why he didn't take me in, but Merlin the man is all book smarts and no common sense forgetting his potion, showing our worst fears to each other in front of the whole school, "not ever popping into my life for a visit, not looking into Sirius!" Harry roared that last bit out loud and the room shook a bit and the air popped.
He stood and began to pace the room in anger cursing under his breathe thinking of the man. Eventually he yelled again and took his pillow and tossed it across the room as hard as he could it struck the wall uselessly and Harry simply stared at it fuming for a moment before his gaze was drawn to the single photo on the desk to the left.
It was a photo of Harry's parents at their wedding with Sirius and Remus to James' side, and several women Harry didn't recognize to Lily's side. Harry smiled despite himself it was a gift from Remus at the end of the year a photo of their wedding the only none magical photo Remus had of them that Harry could leave out.
Although Harry could tell it had been noticeably cropped on one side, a hand at the edge of frame proved it. It seemed Remus had at least the common sense to remove Pettigrew before gifting it to Harry because he would've done it if Remus hadn't.
The man might lack common sense but he wasn't totally without it. Harry thought with a snort
He flopped back onto his lumpy mattress "Ugh why didn't we kill the rat!" he grumbled into his pillow.
Why didn't I let them do it?! Something to do with wanting Sirius to get off I guess. Would the body itself have served as enough proof? he wondered
"They did think he was dead from a blasting curse but even with his body it wouldn't have been evidence. Not that Sirius should've needed evidence to prove his innocence since he wasn't given a damn trail. Blooding wizarding government is worse than the muggles can't even bother giving a show trail for 'war criminals'.
After a moment of thoughtless brooding Harry flopped onto his back and stared up at the lit ceiling. He considered turning off the light to sleep but he didn't dare, afraid of what sleep would bring him.
Instead his thoughts turned again this time to himself he wondered if there was anything he could've should've done differently. He wondered not just what he could've fixed that night but also his whole life from big too small. Was there anyway he could've won the quidditch game for Gryffindor before the dementors knocked him out? Was Hermione being petrified because of him and what of his friend's sister Ginny was she targeted because Malfoy knew it would hurt him? Could he have kept his friends safer if he had gone alone to protect the stone? Is there any way he could've kept Dudley and his gang from bullying anyone and everyone that tried to be his friend?
Especially his short term Brandon who Piers had pushed off a jungle gym while no teacher was looking breaking his leg so badly his father moved him to another school when no one was punished. Harry never did figure out what happened to Brandon did his leg heal or was he crippled forever and if so that was also his fault?
Harry didn't know he just knew his whole life was a mess even at the start when Voldemort killed his parents and tried to kill him. Was Voldemort specifically after Harry? It certainly felt that way to him. Did that mean that his parents were killed because of him?
He had never considered this before for a moment Harry felt he couldn't breathe and then all at once he was breathing too fast he couldn't get the thought out of his head. He kept wondering if it was his fault over and over not knowing how long he stayed like that before finally he started gasping for air forcing him to acknowledge his own panic he sought something to slow his breathing not finding anything suitable nearby his panic only grew his vision grew dark and he lost his balance and fell backwards, fortunately onto his small bed. His last thought before darkness engulfed him was "Maybe I'm not cursed, maybe I am the bloody curse!".
He was in the woods again with howling in the distance his breathe visible and his body ached. He knew exactly where at the edge of the Forbidden Forest and the Great Lake and he knew what was coming. The first few times he had this dream he had attempted to fight it but by now he knew it was no use.
He let his body go through the motions of running toward the figure laying at the water's edge he could hear his best friend running behind him trying to keep up. She wasn't nearly as fast as him both because she was a girl and more importantly she hadn't had to run to keep from being beaten up everyday as a kid, instead kids just ignored her.
It didn't matter now though they had already reached the shore and there they found the collapsed form of a badly injured gaunt man with long black hair breathing heavily from his back staring up at the sky.
"Sirius!" his body exclaimed on its own as he kneeled down at the man's side Hermione doing the same on the other attempting to cast the only healing charm she knew as many times as she could. It did little but small scrapes and cuts closed and the pain lessened.
"Harry" the man said looking at him sadly "You … you shouldn't be here neither of you should. I fought off the wolf injured him I think" he paused catching his breath clearly in pain and wincing as another cut closed "but you should get back to the castle there is no telling if or when it will come back."
"I can't leave you here Sirius I … I need you … you're the only family I have left please Sirius hang in there. Hermione help m-…" that was as far as he got before he felt the air go from chilly to freezing on a June night and he couldn't help but feel there was no hope in saving Sirius in fact as he looked up he was fairly sure they were all doomed.
Hermione who had looked up from her work at the sound of her name turned her head to follow gaze over the lake. Both stared in silent horror for a moment as dozens no at least a hundred dementors making their way toward them over the water. Harry could see it freeze as they passed over and with every second they drew closer and closer making Harry feel fear grip him thought they weren't near enough to really affect him with their aura all the way across the lake but the mere sight made him more light headed. He heard a distant sound several times before he was physically pulled to his feet.
"-ry! Harry! Harry! Snap out it we need to go" Hermione shouted now right in his face
It took him a second to come to his senses and his first instinct was to simply listen to Hermione and run because the dementors would be here in less than a minute. Then he remembered the man dying at his side the one who knew his parents, had tried to get revenge for them, and who had saved he and his friends not half and hour ago."We can't not without Sirius!" he shouted back glancing down at his now apparently unconscious godfather.
For less a second he saw his friend hesitate fear clearly in her brown eyes meeting his own determined green. Eventually after what felt like a life time but was only a moment she nodded and turned and spoke clearly "Wingardium leviosa."
The two took off around the lake shore toward the castle as quickly as they could but Hermione who had already tired quickly before while running now tired even faster while running and casting it didn't take Harry long to notice and he added his own levitation spell to hers. The reduced load caused her breathing to even out for a minute but Harry felt Sirus growing heavier and heavier against his magic as they ran until he was sure that he now carrying him alone and it was now him struggling to keep going but he could tell she was in no condition to cast again. Still for a brief moment he thought they might make it to the castle. It was growing in size with every step and he thought he could carry Sirius forever if their lives depended on it.
Unfortunately it wasn't to be he could feel that thought fading as the world grew colder and desolate as the demons gained ground. He turned his head and looked back upon the lake with horror to find they were nearly upon him and in that moment of weakness he considered leaving Sirius and running to hide in the woods with Hermione hoping neither wolf nor demon found them till morning.
The horrible thought passed and he attempted to surge forward determined to reach the castle Hermione copying him. It didn't matter though the dementors didn't seem to tire while Hermione and he did. It wasn't long before he heard Hermione trip or perhaps just collapse behind him he turned and found the dementors only a couple dozen meters from them and realized they couldn't escape.
It was in that moment Harry had to make a decision that likely didn't have a winning scenario did he stay to protect his friend or did keep running with his godfather in hopes that they might escape. For Harry there was barely even a thought given, he couldn't abandon his friend who had chased him here to help. So acting on instinct he released the levitation spell on Sirius without so much of a though causing the man to sink to the ground.
He then moved toward Hermione to help her to her feet with one hand while the other hand cast and he shouted "Expecto Patronum!" A silvery white shield of energy burst from his wand protecting both himself and Hermione just in time as several dementors slammed face first into the barrier only to bounce off and scream in agony their skin seeming to burn on impact.
The shield wasn't Harry's best attempt at the charm but it was on the upper end and he found that it did the job but was tiring him quickly still he knew he could keep it going so long as he continued to focus on it and protecting Hermione and and "Sirius!" he shouted. In his panic to protect his friend he had left his godfather on the ground outside of the range of the charm already several dementors were already taking passes at him sucking happiness and magic from the man. He grabbed Hermione's hand and with his shield he charged the beast causing them to scatter but immediately he could somehow feel another coming from behind he whipped around with his shield and continued to rebuff any that drew close. He knew he couldn't keep this up forever they needed to move.
"Hermione lift Sirius" he shouted as he spun toward his friend but even from the glance he got he tell fear gripped her.
"Hermione we need to move or we're going to die!" he screamed
This shook his friend out of her stupor she moved quickly and with ease of practice levitated Sirius. "I've … I've got him" she stuttered out still clearly scared
At once they began to move but it was barely a walk with Harry moving constantly to defend them and Hermione having to stay close. Still they kept going moving for minutes getting closer and closer to the castle and specifically the boat house which lie at the base of the path toward Hogwarts. Harry didn't have a lot of time to think while all this occurred he was too focused on keeping them alive his only other thoughts were that he hoped someone would see them and that perhaps Snape and Ron had alerted Dumbledore by now that something was wrong.
Unfortunately he was tiring fast he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep the spell going as they neared the boat house his body and his magic screamed for him to stop only sheer force of will kept him going. Hermione must have noticed the strain it was putting on him she knew they would never make it up the hill to the castle where Dumbledore and the major wards began and on some level so did he even if it wasn't exactly a conscious thought.
So it came as no surprise when she shouted "The boat house Harry, we can try to hide in the boat house it's just up ahead! Come on we can make it!"
With a renewed sense of hope they pressed forward but Harry felt his vision getting blurrier and blurrier as they walked till he was sure he must have passed out while walking and casting. Then disaster struck he felt something ram into his side knocking him over and ending the spell. He heard Hermione scream his name but he couldn't see straight and world spun for a moment when it came into focus he saw her rushing to help him with Sirius being dragged along behind her. Just as she him reached the demons arrived and their feast began Harry could feel his happiness and magic being ripped away. He could hear Hermione scream and collapse beside him and saw Sirius fall with a thump several feet away.
He wasn't sure exactly how long the dementors played with them like a child played with their food but he could remember it all. The longer it went on the more tired he felt while also feeling sharp stabs of pain every time one drew close enough to take a bite of their auras. The whole world seemed to turn gray as he watched them drain them all.
Eventually though the demons decided to fulfill their orders and one perhaps a leader or just one chosen at random approached Sirius slowly and hovered above him and despite all the horror Harry had seen that night nothing was more revolting than watching the creature remove its hood to reveal a face that seemed horrible and ever shifting it was otherworldly both like shadows of demons, the faces of those crying out in fear, as well as those of horrible evil people but with no eyes. Harry could swear Vernon's face was a part of the monstrosity for a moment. The only thing constant and seemingly solid was its gray black mouth that smirked before revealing razor sharp teeth that approached Sirius's own mouth.
Harry tried to move but another dementor made a pass as he did causing sharp pain to keep him in place. All he could do was watch as the dementor placed its kiss on his Godfather before pulling away for a literal second it stayed there hovering above the man before a small light emerged from Sirius' mouth the dementor stared almost transfixed by the light for a moment then two before a serpent like tongue licked the beasts lips and in one quick motion it lunged forward and ate the soul.
The world froze for Harry then this man who was his father's friend, Harry's godfather, a man he barely knew but knew was innocent and knew he was his last real chance at a normal life, of having a family, having a…a…a Dad! He was gone! He wanted it so bad he wanted someone to love and to love him so bad and he was gone taken by this demon. As the next dementor began to swoop toward he and Hermione he felt righteous anger toward them and love for his Godfather and what might have been as he shouted once again "Expecto Patronum!" and all at once the world was full of light.
As his vision adjusted he watched as the dementor crashed into the seemingly golden light screaming in pain before it dissolved as it reached toward Harry. The light continued to rise though taking shape into clearly a large four legged beast formed and charged the swarm harming or destroying any demon it touched. It was only as Harry figured out what form the animal had taken that he came out of his shock from his ability to cast the spell perfectly, its strange color, and most importantly the apparent destruction of the unkillable demon. As Harry looked on he realized the beast was familiar that he had been seeing it all year it was a large dog, a largely shaggy dog, a Grimm despite the coloring!
Harry looked toward Sirius' body in response to this realization and noticed the dementor that had eaten Sirius' soul still hovered there seemingly unaware of the plight of its kin licking its lips one last time and with a smile placing its hood on its head once more. Harry was revolted by the creature and wanted it dead more than anything else. Harry heard the golden Grimm howl, it literally howled, how Harry didn't know but one second it was high above scattering the other dementors the next it was dive bombing the killer seemingly in response to Harry's desire.
The monster turned at the sound of the howl and tried to escape as it realized it was the target of the angry Grimm but it was not nearly quick enough and within seconds of turning to flee the Grimm flew through its back. The dementor like the others that had taken direct blows screeched in pain before it seemed to dissolve into ashes. Harry only smiled at the destruction of beast and he felt something change in his magic then the golden Grimm changed to the normal white and silver of the spell. Harry looked up and saw the rest of the dementors were all fleeing in different directions. Harry let out a sigh as the Grimm approached him and a passed out Hermione he patted the Grimm's head feeling something akin to a ghost but much warmer and more comforting before releasing the spell and watching the creature fade.
As calm returned to the night his adrenaline wore down and he felt himself begin to fade before he remembered they weren't out of the woods yet. Literally with a werewolf on the loose not to mention the other dangers of the forest even if they were on the edge. He rolled onto his knee and shook Hermione. "Come on wake up, wake up" he yelled. The girl stirred but wouldn't wake he tried again still nothing, he tired again and well the third try was the charm and the girl woke and groggily said "Harry?"
"Come one get up we have to go Hermione!" Harry said
The girl looked confused but let Harry pull her to her feet. Together they made their way toward the boat house passing Sirius' body Harry couldn't even look at it. They stumbled into the building a minute later pulling each other the whole way and as soon as they did Harry knew he was done his vision grew black his legs gave out he heard something but all he knew was darkness.