There was a knock on the door. Sasuke lay buried under his blankets despite having been awake for the last hour. He didn't give an answer; instead, the door opened, and his older brother peeked inside the darkened room.
"You need to take your meds," Itachi said. "Do you want me to leave the coffee on?"
"I'm fine."
"How's your hand today?"
He drew in a breath before tightly shutting his eyes. "I said I'm fine."
Itachi sighed from the doorway. "I know you're angry and having trouble sleeping, but please just take your meds. They'll help. I'll be home after work."
The door shut softly.
Sasuke squeezed one of the pillows to his chest, burying his face in it. Tears of frustration pricked his eyes, and his left hand started to shake underneath the blanket. If only he could sleep. Without sleep, the tremors and his temper worsened. He knew he should get out of bed, throw open the blinds and stop feeling sorry for himself.
But what was the point when he no longer had any motivation?
"So have they figured out what's causing it?" Shikamaru asked, right hand supporting his head as if without it he'd be napping on the table.
"Didn't you see a neurologist or somethin'?" Kiba added.
Sasuke's head started to hurt. He regretted meeting them at the coffee shop on their campus.
"The results from the PET scan weren't conclusive. I have an MRI scheduled for next week."
"Ah." Shikamaru nodded uselessly. He and Kiba exchanged sympathetic looks that didn't go unnoticed by him.
"I'm not dying," he mumbled. "You don't have to act weird around me."
"We're not actin' weird," Kiba argued. "We're concerned."
"Is it possible the tremors are…," Shikamaru tilted his head, some slight trepidation evident in his voice, "...Psychological?"
Sasuke snuck his hand under the table to trap it between his thighs. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It makes sense to consider all of the possibilities." Shikamaru covered his mouth as he yawned. "Don't take it personally. Wouldn't it be a relief to know what's wrong?"
"That's why I'm going to the hospital every other day," Sasuke answered coldly. "Taking all these damn tests. What are you suggesting?" He pulled his hand out and set it on the table. "That all this is in my head?"
"I don't know why you're getting defensive." Shikamaru set his hand on top of Sasuke's.
His first instinct was to pull it away, but then Kiba set his hand on top of Shikamaru's. The shaking in his hand momentarily stopped.
"Yah." Kiba squeezed their hands. "Who's gonna provide the snarky commentary in Professor Hatake's class if y'don't start feelin' better?"
Sasuke forced his body to relax by taking in a deep, calming breath.
"You two seemed to do just fine before I had to skip," he grumbled. "Anyway. I think I'd feel a lot better if I could get some sleep."
"You're still not sleeping?" Shikamaru asked, wiggling his hand out from underneath Kiba's, the slightest hint of pink dusting his cheeks.
Sasuke shook his head. "Not even the pills are helping."
"Hmm. When I can't sleep, I watch ASMR. Have you ever tried that?" Kiba folded his arms behind his head and leaned back against the booth's seat. "There's all kinds of shit out there. You can listen to people eat food or watch them carve soap. There's roleplay."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You said that out loud as if you're seriously suggesting this to me."
"When you say it like that, yeah, uh, it sounds dumb, but it's really relaxing! I can send you some of my favorite videos. There's one guy I really like. He used to do these funny videos, and then one day he switched to doing ASMR. He has, like, a half a million followers."
"People will really watch anything these days, huh?" Shikamaru sighed. "Wish I could be internet famous instead of wasting the last three years of my life going to college."
"Why can't you do both?" Kiba nudged him with an elbow.
"Not sure my dad would approve." Shikamaru frowned, checking his watch. "Speaking of. He wants to get dinner with me tonight, so I should get going. Sasuke, do you want a ride home?"
"No," he said slowly, shaking his head. "I'll take the bus."
"Kiba?"
"Nah, man. I'm goin' to Hinata's place after this, so I'm good."
"Oh, really?" Sasuke teased.
Shikamaru smirked. "Things getting serious with you two?"
Kiba shrugged. "Hinata's cool. For now, I just like spendin' time with her."
Sasuke and Shikamaru shared a look.
"Don't do that, whatever that just was." Kiba got up, stuffing his books into his backpack.
Shikamaru put his hands up in a placating manner. "We didn't say anything."
"Shut up!" Kiba's cheeks turned an unhealthy shade of red. "I'm outta here. See you, losers!"
They watched Kiba go. Shikamaru stood and jingled the keys in his pocket.
"Have you... taken any pictures lately?" He asked Sasuke, sounding tentative.
"No. Kinda hard to do with this stupid hand."
Shikamaru nodded. "Okay, well. Keep us posted. We'll come drag you out if you don't start going outside more."
"Itachi tattled on me, didn't he?" Sasuke ran his fingers through his hair, ruffling the fine hairs at the back of his neck. "He's so—"
"—He's worried." Shikamaru scratched at the side of his nose. "We all are, but it's going to be fine."
"Yeah. Now I have Kiba's videos to look forward to. Can't wait to fall asleep watching someone carve up a perfectly good bar of Ivory soap."
"I wonder if it's the same as watching paint dry?"
Sasuke snorted. "Gosh, I hope so. I said I wanted to sleep, not die of boredom."
Shikamaru shrugged. "You never know. It can't hurt to try, right?"
"I guess."
Shikamaru tugged his backpack over his shoulder. He gave Sasuke one last look and an awkward wave before heading toward the exit. Sasuke, who'd given up caffeine, stared at his cup of water. There wasn't a lot of comfort to be found in his life right now, but at least he could admit to himself that he had some good friends. Idiotic friends, but good friends nonetheless.
A few days later, Sasuke was up late—around 3:30 in the morning—unable to sleep, and hand shaking like crazy. It was becoming a frustrating nightly pattern. For the last several months, Sasuke couldn't get more than four hours a night of sleep. He'd stopped having an appetite, too. Often, he didn't even want to get out of bed unless Itachi nagged him to death.
Kiba had sent him a link to one of those ASMR videos recently. But Sasuke, thinking it a stupid idea, hadn't bothered to check it out. However, with dark thoughts creeping around his brain tonight, he was starting to feel anxious and desperate. He picked up his phone and decided to do some research about ASMR. First, he looked up what ASMR was even supposed to be about, and then he went to YouTube to scroll through some of the video thumbnails. Doing so didn't do much to alleviate his doubts. He clicked on a couple with the least offensive or disturbing preview images. As Kiba had mentioned, there were a variety of concepts. Considering Sasuke hated the sound of people swallowing or chewing any type of food, all of the food ones were out. The roleplay idea was far too creepy, so no thanks. He did watch a few where the person—most of these people were girls—tapped on various objects. They whispered, too, and that was kind of nice. He clicked on some with men and found those to be somehow more appealing, though he couldn't say why. For the most part, their faces were hidden, so he resigned himself to closing his eyes and listening. Unfortunately, nothing was clicking with him, and he was just about to give up when he remembered he hadn't tried Kiba's suggestion.
If he clicked on this and it was some goofy ass white guy dressed in cosplay while whisper-singing anime theme songs, Kiba was going to be a dead man. Sasuke had to scroll pretty far back through his phone messages to find the link since Kiba had the tendency to send the stupidest fucking memes and gifs to him every five minutes. When he eventually found it, he clicked and it opened to a video titled:
SageMode
ASMR massage | light touch, natural oils, sage (soft spoken)
It began with a woman sitting in a chair, eyes closed, barefaced. She had long, dark hair; thicker eyebrows and pretty skin. There was abundant sunlight and the filming appeared to be taking place on someone's screened-in porch. Sasuke, who'd stuck in his AirPods, turned up the phone's volume. He could hear a low voice off to the side, and the woman smiled at whatever was said. A few seconds later, a man appeared behind her—bright blonde hair, big blue eyes, golden skin, and a strong jawline. Some of his fringe was long enough that it scattered across his eyes when he tossed his head to the side. The man moved them out of the way, tucking his soft looking hair behind an ear. This guy—who didn't look a whole lot older than Sasuke—wore a black, v-neck t-shirt that revealed his toned arms and an array of tattoos. Objectively, he was a good looking man, but Sasuke's first thought was: "Wow, what an excellent scam for getting hot women to do a video with you." Before this SageMode person even addressed the camera, he greeted the woman with a light squeeze to both of her shoulders. She had on a gray-colored tank top with thin straps. Already doubtful, Sasuke was inclined to turn it off since he didn't want to see some surfer boy pawing at a random girl—
But, then the blond man started to speak in a very deep, quiet tone that was instantly calming. The woman receiving the gentle massage closed her eyes as this person pulled her long hair into a ponytail, winding his fingers though it carefully. There was no music, simply the sounds that came when the woman's hair was brushed. It was actually very quiet for a long while. At the current angle, Sasuke could only make out the man's broad torso (and narrow waist and hips) while he stood behind the seated model. It was hard to say why it was all so relaxing, but he continued watching. When the man finished brushing the model's hair, he proceeded to wave his hands near her head, in front of her, and above her head. It was nearly four minutes into the forty-minute video before he spoke again:
Hi, guys.
In today's video, I'm joined by my new friend, Liliha.
And I'm very excited to have this opportunity to work with her today after being connected through a mutual friend.
Liliha is creative and very passionate about the environment.
He spoke about the model for another minute while alternately massaging her shoulders very lightly. Every time he spoke, it was with a gentle, soothing tone. When it was ten minutes in, and he'd gone back to massaging the woman's scalp—Sasuke found that his eyes kept trying to close. They felt so heavy. The man spoke again, mentioning something about essential oils he would be using today, but all of the names were lost on Sasuke. He couldn't put his finger on it. There was something sincere about this person. Something in his voice, or the respectful manner with which he dealt with his model. Sasuke had never experienced a massage outside of when he'd played athletic sports in high school and received a massage for strained muscles. No one had given him their full attention and care like that or put aside a chunk of time to relieve his stress. Some of it seemed a little too out there for him—even yoga made him raise an eyebrow—but he couldn't deny that it was lulling him to sleep, finally.
Twenty-three minutes into the video, Sasuke was fast asleep.
He had nothing if not his pride, so Sasuke didn't admit to his friends that he'd been using sagemode aka Naruto's videos to fall asleep every night for this past week. After getting nearly seven hours of sleep for the first time in months, of course Sasuke tried it again. He started from the very first video. It wasn't nearly as polished as the one Kiba had sent. Naruto spoke more in the beginning, but over time, he made the model the focus of the "massage" videos. Some of his other videos were more like vlogs, where he spoke about his personal life. In fact, one video was about how Naruto used to make funny videos for Vine back in the day. He didn't go into details about the switch other than to introduce his old followers to his new channel. Apparently, he'd deleted the old account, so Sasuke couldn't stalk it. He finally found some compilations posted by random people. The videos were everything from stupid pranks on his friends to lip syncing to video game walk-throughs. It was sort of hard to rationalize Naruto with this new age, sage-like guy. Then again, at the time he must've been about 16, and now he was in his early 20s.
Sasuke, maybe out of boredom, found himself very curious about Naruto. A couple of times he'd considered stalking Naruto's social media (which was listed on every video, so it wasn't really stalking), but he felt embarrassed to take it that far after binge-watching his videos. He'd discovered that sometimes Naruto had male models, and some of them were subscribers. Sasuke couldn't fathom messaging a stranger online to ask if they could be recorded getting a 40-minute massage where the screen featured their entire face. All of the models were relatively attractive, though. Whether male or female. Naruto was always professional and respectful.
While he did speak about his personal life, it was mostly about his part-time job (a bartender) or other video projects he was working on (but never posted). When he used various oils or energy techniques, he took the time to explain them. Sasuke didn't necessarily believe in all that stuff, but he appreciated that Naruto took the time to share. It sounded like he was really into that holistic crap, but not anything too crazy. Another interesting fact to note was that they both lived in Southern California. Okay, yeah. Sasuke was reaching obsessive levels of interest, but to be perfectly honest, it was nice to spend his day watching videos as opposed to becoming depressed about the state of his health. In two days, he'd have an MRI. The good news was that his hand didn't shake nearly as much. He was eating at least twice a day. Kiba and Shikamaru were busy with exams, so Sasuke didn't venture out to campus. If he went out at all, it was to take a walk around the park (he was used to working out in a gym three times a week, but had pretty much lost all interest). Or, he might go to the store to look at the newest video games. Sometimes he thought about taking his camera out, but the moment he unzipped the bag he kept it in, his hand would shake. Pretty difficult to take good photos when that happened.
There's no way he'd be able to pass the semester at this point, so he knew he'd have to go in and speak with his counselor about withdrawing temporarily from university. That, of course, put him into a slump for a few days.
The results for the MRI would take a week or two, which left him moping around the house, snapping at Itachi if his older brother so much as breathed in his direction. He hadn't watched Naruto's videos for a few days, and he hadn't been returning his friends' texts. Since he was back to being unable to sleep, he spent his nights playing video games on his computer. The only socialization he got for the next week were the people he talked to on his mic.
A week later, his doctor called, telling him the results of the MRI were ready and that he should come in tomorrow around 3 p.m. He didn't know whether to be worried or not that the doctor wanted him to come in immediately. Itachi had to work, and—with these meds—it was sometimes difficult for Sasuke to concentrate while driving. He had the choice of taking an Uber or giving in and asking Shikamaru. At Itachi's insistence, he chose the latter.
In the car the next day, they were mostly silent, at least until they were about five miles away from his doctor's office.
"So, we haven't heard from you in a while," Shikamaru said as they stopped at a light on Rosecrans, just shy of the 405 exit.
"I haven't been feeling well," Sasuke muttered while staring out the window. It was an unusually dismal day in LA. A few sprinkles kept hitting the windshield.
"You look thinner."
"Yeah, that happens when you're sick."
"Sasuke," his friend called. "I'm not purposely trying to pry. We're worried about you."
Sasuke sighed. "And I don't have any answers for you, okay? That's why I'm going to the damn doctor, so if you could just wait until after I talk to him to play 20 Questions, that'd be great."
"Fine," Shikamaru said, but without any anger.
Ten minutes later, they pulled into the doctor's office. Shikamaru refused to do anything but wait in the lobby. Sasuke didn't ask him to come with into the exam room. Though, he should have because once the doctor began explaining the results, Sasuke zoned out around the time that the older man said there seemed to be nothing unusual about his brain activity. Whatever was causing the tremors—it wasn't neurological.
"What's the next step then?" He asked. "I can barely hold a glass of water without spilling it everywhere. I'm not imagining these things."
"Well," said the man, as he tucked a pen into the front pocket of his white coat, "I'd suggest we start seeking alternatives. Like, I can refer you to a psychologist—"
"It's not all in my head," Sasuke said defensively.
"Well, according to this MRI, you're right. But, if it's not physical, we need to explore other possibilities, Sasuke. You're not sleeping, not eating, and you're having acute physical reactions to certain stressors. There's nothing to be ashamed about in considering seeing a therapist."
Sasuke felt like he was going to throw up. "I don't believe in that shit."
"Well, whether you believe or not, it's a suggestion, Mr. Uchiha. We can run more tests, but in my medical opinion, I think it would be a good idea to consider a referral."
"Fine."
"Alright." The doctor set his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, squeezing it and—oddly—it brought those dumb videos to mind. He flinched at the contact. The man removed his hand, sensing Sasuke's discomfort. "I'll have the nurse bring in a list of referrals, but you're free to do your own research and can make an appointment with whomever you see fit. We're also going to add some meds that should lessen the tremors."
"I thought that's what the current ones do."
"Those were more to help you sleep, but since the shaking is persisting, we'll see how these work."
"Great."
Feeling helpless, he pulled on his light jacket as he waited for the nurse. It took another 15 minutes before she came in and explained about the referrals and gave him the information about his new prescription. By the time he got back to the lobby, he was ready to throw a chair through a window. Shikamaru stood up, walking to him silently, hands in the pocket of his cargo pants.
"Well, what did he say?" Shikamaru asked.
Sasuke stared at him blankly for a full 10 seconds before answering, "Same as you suggested. Apparently it's all in my head."
Needless to say, his anxiety had kicked into overdrive. If all of this had just been caused by something physical, it would've made sense to him, but the insinuation that his issues were psychological were just—unacceptable. It's not that he didn't believe in mental illness, he simply didn't think it applied to him. He was a normal amount of sad given his life and circumstances, he bottled in his emotions a normal amount, he was capable of social interactions. But all of that unknown compounded his worries, and while he knew meds did bring some relief, it wasn't a cure. After he told Itachi about the MRI results and showed him the referrals, they had a rather serious discussion. At first, Sasuke refused, but his brother had ways of making anyone agree to his requests. Which is why Sasuke was currently waiting for his first therapy appointment with Dr. Umino. Sasuke had made it clear he wanted to see an actual doctor and not someone with a master's degree in social services or divorce therapy.
While waiting, a YouTube notification scrolled across the top of his phone. Naruto had uploaded a new video. Sasuke hadn't watched one for several days, though he probably should. He'd made the mistake of letting it slip to Shikamaru that he'd watched (and enjoyed) some. Therefore, it wasn't long before Kiba sent a text gloating about his successful recommendation. If he got through this session without wanting to poke his eyes out, he might reward himself later with watching the new video. Naruto hadn't been updating as often as he used to apparently, so he was interested to hear if he would mention what he'd been up to lately (not that Sasuke cared). It was just that any distraction was welcome, and Naruto had helped him through a few late nights, so there were some feelings of gratefulness buried under all of his bitterness toward life.
"Sasuke?"
Sasuke snapped his head up at the soft-spoken man standing in the doorway. He had longer brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, wore trendy-looking silver-framed glasses, and had the kind of smile that told Sasuke this man would do his best to make him cry and confess all of his deep dark secrets and traumas today. There was an impulse, one he was fighting very hard right now, to run right out the door. Yes, Sasuke could admit he was emotionally constipated even on his best days, so the thought of having an emotional talk with a stranger—
Dr. Umino's smile faltered. "Are you ready for your appointment?"
Embarrassed, Sasuke nodded and got to his feet, following the older man's instructions to proceed toward the end of the hallway.
He sat on the green couch, staring at the Kleenex box and it's daisy pattern like it had just spoiled the season finale of a favorite tv show.
"And so the doctor told you that he thought the tremors might be psychological?"
"Well, he implied it," Sasuke answered, gaze roving over to the man sitting across the room from him, a clipboard full of papers sat on his lap. "It was kind of like the instant he didn't see results on the film that he was happy to ship me off to the next person."
"So, you were disappointed that the results were negative?"
He frowned. "I mean, it's not as if I want a neurological disorder. I'm just saying that would make sense to me. There are specific causes, specific cures, specific symptoms."
"I see," said the doctor as he scribbled in his notes. "How about the relationships in your life right now? Do you feel as though you have people to talk to about what you've been going through?"
Sasuke felt his hand start to shake, so he covered it with his other hand. He knew the doctor had seen it, but the man didn't mention it.
"I have my brother and I have some friends. We talk a normal amount."
"What do you consider a normal amount?" Dr. Umino asked politely, his small smile irking Sasuke for whatever reason, like he was two moves away from declaring checkmate. He wasn't sure why it suddenly reminded him of one of his college professors.
"You know, normal."
"You've said the word 'normal' on several occasions. Is being normal important to you? What do you think it means to be normal?"
"What, do you want a textbook definition?" He snapped.
"Only if you think it's accurate. I'm not presuming anything. I'm genuinely interested."
Sasuke sighed, rubbing at his face as he looked away, eyes focused on the old school screensaver dancing around on the doctor's desktop computer. "Not standing out."
"I see. And so you think with these recent symptoms or circumstances, you feel you're standing out too much?"
His first instinct was to snap again, but then he stopped to actually process those words and allow his inner self to acknowledge it as truth that he would then deny or whether it was simply inaccurate.
"I don't have feelings about standing out either way. There are pros and cons to standing out, but I suppose I don't want to stand out for the wrong reasons."
"What do you mean by 'wrong reasons'?"
Sasuke had to press harder on his left hand. He could feel the sweat breaking out on his cheeks and forehead. There was a tightening in his chest, too.
He swallowed audibly. "Being… weak, I guess. Seeming… out of control?"
Dr. Umino nodded. "Yes, of course. It can be very scary when we feel as though we're not in control of aspects of our life. That can include anything, whether it's not being the driver of a vehicle, to not being in control of our own bodies or health, or the people in our lives."
Sasuke met the other man's eyes, knowing what he was trying to get at.
"This isn't about my parents," he said after a few moments of silence.
"I didn't say it was."
He rolled his eyes. "Is it easy to just go for the obvious? Is it always going to go back to how I feel about my parents?"
"Not necessarily," Dr. Umino replied, "But, in general, a lot of the behavioral manifestations—and physical—manifestations can be the result of repressed emotions. Not in all cases, but in a large majority, those behaviors are the result of trauma or childhood events."
"That would make sense if I hadn't already dealt with it. This isn't my first time in therapy."
"I know."
Sasuke's teeth were digging deeply into his bottom lip. "I'm fine."
"I think it's fair to say that there's something going on, Sasuke. You could also consider getting a second opinion from another medical doctor, as well."
"Come on. You don't think it's physical, do you." His voice was accusatory, low.
"The brain is a very physical part of the body, Sasuke. What I think is that, right now, it would be helpful simply to talk every week for a while. We don't even have to discuss the symptoms in particular. We can just talk."
"Ah, of course." He nodded numbly, feeling bitter.
"What about your new medication? Is it offering any relief? Helping you sleep?"
"So far the only thing that helps me sleep are these dumb videos on YouTube," he muttered before he could stop himself.
"Videos?" Dr. Umino seemed intrigued. "Like self talk videos?"
"ASMR," he said, cheeks starting to feel hot. "My friend Kiba suggested it."
"Yes, ASMR. I've watched a few. Some of them are very good."
"Yeah, and some are really embarrassing."
"As long as one person is receiving some relief from one of those videos, don't you think it's worth the person posting?"
"I guess." He shrugged.
"What do you like about these particular videos if you don't mind me asking?"
"Hm. I like that it's a man doing it since most of the videos are women." As he said that, he didn't realize Naruto's gender was something that attracted him to the videos. He also wasn't sure why that admittance made him feel so strange. "He gives people shoulder massages, massages their hair or whatever. Men and women. He talks softly, seems really gentle. Seems like," Sasuke rubbed the pads of his forefinger and thumb together, "...A good person."
"What makes you say that?"
Sasuke scrunched the corner of his mouth to the side in thought, "He's really gentle with his models. He has this… energy about him… not that he's perfect and always perky, but just that… yeah, he's a genuine person."
"And watching him before sleep helps you to relax?"
"Yes. It's not like I want to watch someone who murders cats in their spare time do these videos."
The doctor actually chuckled. "Of course not. We definitely feel more relaxed around people we deem as safe or trustworthy."
"I wouldn't go too deep into it, Doc. I don't really know the guy other than what I've seen of the videos, and anyone can be different online than they are in real life."
"If you thought this person was being insincere, would you still watch his videos?"
"...No. No. Of course not… who would… it's just relaxing. It worked once, so I've gone back to it. It's pretty simple."
"It's nice to know that there are kind, genuine people out there, isn't it?" Dr. Umino asked, but it felt as though it was rhetorical, and Sasuke wasn't an idiot, he knew what he would say next. "When we feel that we lack control over our lives, when we feel like bad things are done to us or we have no control over the universe, certainly we search for stabilizing factors or… hope."
"Like I said," he mumbled, squeezing his own fingers. "It's just a video. I'm also fine with Vine compilations and the occasional video of baby animals."
"Yes, that's safe content, too. And these are all very healthy coping mechanisms."
"I've already coped," he was quick to reply.
"Do you think that's true? Do you think you're completely healed from that breach of trust—"
Sasuke put a hand up. "Enough. We're not going there. I said I'd dealt with that, I don't have more to say about it. Whatever's going on with my dumb hand is something else."
Dr. Umino's face never lost that professional smile. "Of course. And we may figure it out the more we meet and talk with one another over the next several weeks. Just like with your body, it may take several tests before you're able to discover the prognosis. That works the same with psychology. I may be able to direct us one way because of some of the symptoms, but that doesn't mean it's always easy to connect the dots based on that alone."
"Very profound." Sasuke managed a smirk to show he wasn't being a complete dick.
The doctor chuckled. "It may sound contrite, but sometimes people don't regard mental health as being on the same plane as physical health. However, it's one in the same, though admittedly, it can be harder to treat."
"Why do you say that? Isn't there a pill for everything?" He asked sarcastically.
Dr. Umino sighed. "Next week let's talk about your use of sarcasm as a defense mechanism." He chuckled again while sliding his fingers down his lavender-colored tie.
"We may need more than one session if we're going to dive into my use of sarcasm," Sasuke replied.
"While I think pills can definitely be of help, I think an effective treatment consists of dealing with the root of the issue. Pills... pills are more like temporary band-aids. They can help us cope and function, but they aren't going to erase a trauma from our brain, are they?"
"I think the right drugs might be able to do that if you take enough of them."
"Well, let's please not do that. There are reasons that those with mental health issues develop substance abuse problems. And, as we know, covering up the pain, escaping it doesn't solve anything, does it?"
"No, and I don't generally like to run away from my problems anyway," he said stiffly.
"Sometimes isolating one's self isn't always bad. If you need time to recharge."
"That's advice I don't mind following," he muttered, getting to his feet.
"I'll see you next week, Sasuke." The older man opened the office door and escorted him as far as the doorway into the lobby.
Sasuke exited, hands in his pockets as he did his best to avoid the gazes of all the other waiting patients. Getting into his car, he checked his phone and saw that the groupchat with Kiba and Shikamaru was overwhelmed with notifications. He scrolled through. They wanted to hang out at Shikamaru's for a movie night. Therapy sessions always left him drained, so he wasn't exactly sure he could handle any further socialization. Yet, just as he was typing out an excuse for why he couldn't go, his phone rang—Kiba.
He sighed, knowing that if he didn't pick up now, Kiba would hound him for the rest of the night.
"Yes?" He nearly growled, buckling his seatbelt and resting his head against the window. The temperature gauge in the car read 72 degrees.
"Why didn't you respond to the groupchat?"
"I had therapy today, Kiba. I mentioned it a few days ago."
"Ah, right, right. Shikamaru said that might be the deal. So, did you see we're meetin' at Shikamaru's for movie night?"
"I, literally, just saw it, but—"
"—You're not gonna cancel again, are ya? Bro, like, we know you're not busy, and I will come pick you up on the way. It's been forever since—
"—I'm tired, Kiba."
"Please? Don't make me beg. Don't make me use puppy dog eyes."
"I don't know why you think that would work on me."
"Okay, then come 'cause you owe me."
"Excuse me? For what?"
"For introducing you to Naruto." Kiba laughed at him like an old cartoon villain. "Maybe we can binge watch some of his old stuff. Did you ever see any of that?"
"I… might've watched a compilation." Sasuke didn't feel the need to reveal how many times he'd watched it, nor how he'd tried to stalk Naruto's social media in the hopes of determining what triggered him to change from juvenile prank videos to spiritual, holistic whatever.
"He's helpin' you fall asleep, though, right?"
He tapped the wheel. "I guess. It's not like I watch them every night." Resigned to his fate, Sasuke breathed out, fogging the window glass. "Fine. If I stay home, Itachi will nag me to death, so I might as well."
"Yeah, that's the spirit. I think? Uh. I'll come by around seven then. Is that cool?"
"That's fine. Gives me time to get home and take a shower." Sasuke was ready to hang up, but there was a purposeful pause on the other end of the phone.
"...So, uh. Today's session. Went okay?"
"We don't have to talk about this."
"I mean, we can talk about it later, but I just. Y'know. Care. And. Stuff."
Sasuke's eyes rolled so far back into his skull, he dislodged his contacts. "Kiba."
"What?" His friend asked defensively. "Like. Is it helpin' at least? Is he cool?"
"He's… not bad. He's young. Seems relatively intelligent. I'm going home now."
"Fine. Just sayin' that I'm here for you. Like, and so is Shikamaru. And—"
"Okay, I'm going to put us both out of our misery and go now. I'll see you at seven."
Kiba laughed. "Alright. See ya later, Uchiha."