Someone once asked me what love was. I was fourteen. Then, I thought I knew the answer. I had said, "Oh, Sakura! Love is the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when a boy you notice more and more walks by. It's butterflies. And all of a sudden, you feel hot and cold all at once, unable to move or speak."
"Oh," she replied. "Well, I think I love Sasuke." I had smiled then. Sasuke hadn't left, yet, and all the girls in Konoha had adored him. Except me. He was just a sad boy, who pretended not to care about anyone or anything. But I saw through that, and knew... he did care. He cared a great deal. Almost too much, and that scared him. "That's how you feel about Naruto, right?"
I froze, mid-chew. 'Was that why she suddenly found time to have tea together? To weed out my true feelings?'
Finally, I sighed. "Something like that, yes." I flushed, and hid my face behind a long sip of tea.
"Well, Hina?" I blushed at the familiarity. "Do you love Naruto?" She scooted closer to me in the grass. I shrugged and averted my gaze to the trees skirting the Hyuuga Compound.
After a moment, I spoke, "I honestly don't know. I fancy him, that much is true, but he cares for you Saku. Compared to you, I truly am a plain girl. As long as he acknowledges my presence from time to time, I can content myself with friendship."
Sakura laughed loudly. TOO loud, really. "Hina, Naruto doesn't love me. He only thinks he does. He's just confused, you'll see."
And yet, here I sit, four years later, watching them pledge their lives to one another.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous... well, a little... I just wish there were someone for me.
/sigh/
/smile/
It took Sakura long enough to see that Naruto was a good guy. And a great actor. He and I had spoken about our dreams and respective realities. He inspired a change in me, when he had learned of my desire to be accepted as an able shinobi. And from him, I learned his truth.
Rather than live up to everyone's expectations of him, he had marched to the beat of his own drum, all through Academy. When finals came, he was truly amazing.
All the time we thought he was fooling around, he was absorbing lessons like a sponge.
After Sasuke had left for... well, after he had left, we'll say, Saku had fallen apart. Naruto had been her only reason to smile anymore, even at the expense of himself. He inspired her to become MedNin.
One thing led to another, and soon, Saku visited me at my apartments on the Compound.
"Hina, I need to talk to you," she had started, "About Naruto." I had anticipated this from the day her training with Lady Hokage had begun.
"Saku, if you love him, truly, then you have my blessing." I grasped her hands, my eyes meeting hers. My own shyness had long passed, from age and my personal conversations with the knuckleheaded shinobi. "I gave up on him long ago."
Her eyes were absolutely brimming with tears. "Hina..." she hugged me, then, hard, afraid to lose the sister she never had. My own hug as forceful, wanting to support the sister I always wanted.
To be fair, I do love my sister, Hanabi. Unfortunately, my father, the bastard he was, had instilled a venemous rivalry and competition between us. Now, having moved out of the Compound recently, Hanabi and I laugh about it at our weekly tea, but then...
I smiled at Sakura. "Just make me your Maid of Honor."
She did.
The ceremony was four days ago, and yet, the village is still abuzz with excitement. I swear, it is to the point that I will surely go insane.
Currently, I'm walking. I love these walks around Konoha. There's nothing like a leisurely stroll around your home to relax your body, and soothe your soul.
The wedding had been lovely, I dare say. Lady Hokage was present to preside over it, and Master Jeraiya was there to be Naruto's surrogate father. Sakura's own father having been long since missing, Kikashi presented her to Naruto.
I won't get into the details of what everyone wore, and how Sakura's cheeks held up the color appropriate for her name. I will say this, everyone in Konoha was there to see their favorite idiot marry the girl of his dreams.
There was one person though.
Unexpected. Uninvited. Unseen, except for me. He thought he could slip in and out without having been noticed. How foolish of him to try to fool the eyes that have made my clan famous.
That's not to say that anyone would have truly minded, but being that he only just recently graced our village again with his presence, it was not wholly appropriate. Still, I suppose he had to cater to his own curiosity. This girl, this beautiful, lively, wonderful girl, was giving her heart to his best friend. And in return, Naruto was pledging to always support her, and protect her.
"I do."
And with that, as silently as he had slipped into the rows of seats among the flowers, Sasuke was gone.
Oh, wow. Somehow I've diverted off of my usual path. Well, it's still a relaxing walk. The weather here has gone from chilly to scorching, as is standard with the start of Konoha's summer season.
It seems I've walked right to the river. I'll rest here, and perhaps snack a bit until my energy comes back to me.
Living alone this past year has been wonderful. I've come to realize I don't need approval to exist in this world. I can make myself happy. But still, there's this ache. I can't explain it. I feel the need to have someone to share my simplicity with. I truly am a simple girl, however you might roll your eyes.
You probably think, 'Sure, Hinata. You're the former heiress of the Hyuuga clan, used to having money. You're as low maintainance as a newborn pup.' You don't know me, however. I feel I should explain a bit to you before you continue that vein of thought.
While it may seem I've had every opportunity to expand my horizons, broaden my shinobi career, excell at what I do best, and become a good leader for my clan, you're mistaken. My father, having recently passed, imparted a few words on me before he departed.
"Hinata," he said, eyes smiling, but face as impassive as ever, "Not one day has gone by that I haven't been disappointed with you as a child. Your inability to learn the simplest justu, your unwillingness to be the heir, your overwhelming shyness. But each and every day you display those traits unbecoming of a Hyuuga, is each and every day I am looking at the reincarnation of your mother, and I will truly treasure having you in my life. I am sorry, but you will soon find, I only tried my hardest for you and Hanabi."
His soul left him shortly after, leaving me alone with my questions unanswered and tears unshed. I did love my father, but he really was a bastard. I came to understand as I left the Compound after his procession, that he only wanted to present a capable heir to the council, and in that, there is a great deal of pressure.
As much as I hated him for how he treated me, I loved him for teaching me that life was hard, and you had to either be hard back or yield and wither under the immense pressure of it.
I remember approaching the council the day after his procession. I remember the shock on their faces as I explained the situation, Hanabi being a better fit to heir, and my own needs to be myself. I had asked for their consent to leave the Hyuuga Compound and be self-sufficient, while still maintaining the Hyuuga surname.
After negotiations, they agreed. I was to be considered a branch member, sans foremark. I was free, but when called to service the clan, I was required without hesitation.
I could live with that.
Hmm, where did I put my thermos? Ah, yes. As for my hunger? Well, it still hasn't subsided. In fact, Saku and Naruto's wedding has only made it more pronounced. I have tried dating. Kiba and I dated for a short time, but he was too... emotional. That's not to say I don't feel, but he had a habit of coming over at odd hours. When I would express my dislike of that particular act, he would wander off, hurt and rejected. He really was alot like Akimaru.
We soon broke it off to consider different possibilities. Me, my studies. Him... a VetNin. How perfect.
I would continue this story, but I do feel a presence behind me. The chakra is quite... indicative.
"Hello, Sasuke." I hear his breath catch. Not expecting me to notice him three yards to my right? Please. "Sit, won't you?"
He wanders over, careful not to disturb the serenity of this place. I take off my shoes, and allow my feet to skirt the surface of the river. Glancing over, I see him staring up at the sky. The sun is close to setting now. Orange and pink light up the horizon, and I can see the onslaught of darkness waiting to descend.
"Why did you come back, Sasuke?"
Closed off as ever, his head drops. He shakes his head and looks at me. 'Silly boy, still trying to hide your emotions.' I can see many things passing through his eyes, but one thing does surprise me. I see... longing.
He doesn't answer.
"You loved her."
He snorts, then nods slowly. "I was childish. I thought that... I thought that when I left, she would wait for me. That I could accomplish my goals, come back, and find her here, same as before."
I turn slightly, to face him. "You know, Uchiha, for a prodigy, you're pretty damned stupid." His head snaps to attention, and he gives me a look of chagrin and anger.
"Hyuuga, if I wanted to be berated, I would not have approached you." He starts to push off his hands to stand, but something makes me grab the one closest me. He eyes my hand, gently grasping his wrist.
"I do apologize. Please. Sit." I don't know what it is, but something in his soul breaks and he collapses, shoes breaking the surface of the water. When he DOES look at me, I am surprised to find pain. So much pain.
"I thought everything would be different. I thought I could beat my brother. I thought Sakura would be here waiting. I.. was wrong." His voice holds a sour note, and he rakes his hand through his now longer hair.
My arm snakes around his shoulders, a vain attempt at comfort. His head drops to my chest and we sit like this until well after the sunset. Silent. Happy to find someone who understands.
I start to rise, and he pulls me down. "Sasuke..." I whisper. He shakes his head, and holds me now, knowing the intimacy of our encounter has my head and heart in pieces. Running his fingers through my shoulder length hair, he shushes me, and comforts me.
After a time, he grasps my shoulders and we part. "Hinata, why are you alone?"
'I am not ready for this.' The question has me off guard. How can I answer?
I cannot.
I stand, ready to make my way to my small apartment. My place of peace.
Quickly, he rises, and spins me around to face him. Tears are flowing freely from my eyes now, and he sees that he has shattered my fragile facade of happiness.
Slowly, he raises my head so my opal eyes meet his onyx. He has an expression of pure... adoration? I roughly break from his two finger grasp on my chin.
I do what any other normal person would do in this scenario. This is me, Hyuuga Hinata, running away. And subsequently tripping on a root. And running with a limp. Yeah, did I mention I'm graceful?
So now, I'm at the door of my apartment, I'm out of breath, and I've just realized I forgot my satchel and thermos.
"Screw it," I say in a rare instance of unladylike behavior. Currently, I'm throwing, LITERALLY throwing, my shoes on the floor, and stomping to the bathroom.
Why did he get to me like that? What happened to make me cry? I'm running through my own twisted feelings in my head, trying to sort out some reasoning for my actions. Do I...?
I come to find, I have some strange attraction to the last known Uchiha. When he held me... I felt comfort, the hole inside having been filled to the brim with a strong.. something. I draw myself a bath in hopes that I'm just coming down with something. Perhaps the warmth and steam will clear the cobwebs.
Turning the knob off, I walk to my room to gather my robe and pajamas.
"Why did you run?" My knees are determined to give as his voice finds its way to my core. I had been so caught up in my own thoughts, I never even knew he was there. I admonish myself for my lax security.
My gaze shoots to him. 'How did he kn-'
"Your address is embroidered in your satchel." He smirks before dropping it unceremoniously on the wood flooring. In two long strides, he is in front of me.
His hand reaches out, and I flinch away from his ghost touch. He sighs, and shakes his head.
"You're afraid of me. I'm not stupid."
I say the first thing I can think of to rid myself of this welcome intrusion. "I can see that, with how well you handled Sakura." His eyes flash toward me in anger, and he grabs my wrist, pulling me to him.
We are face to face, and his eyes play over me, doing what? Memorizing me? Doubtful. I break the hold and turn to begin my clothing search, eager to start my bath. As I'm doing so, I begin to say anything to get rid of him.
"You know, Sasuke, I was just in the middle of something and while I appreciate the fact that you're kind enough to bring my things, I really think that you ought to be going as it's indecent for a man to be in a woman's apartment, and furthermore MY APARTMENT, so if you'll excuse me, I really must continue what I'm doing, I'm sure you can find the door, have a good night, perhaps we'll have lunch sometimes, but tonight, you see, I'm rather busy." Making my way to the door, I turn to find him directly behind me, close. Very close. As I realize his proximity, he chuckles and steps even closer, backing me into the doorjamb.
I have started to come unglued.
"I... will... scream." I say, raising my hand to swipe futilely at his handsome features. He gently catches my hand and moves it behind my back, bringing us nose to nose.
"No... you... won't," He says, smirking, his gaze steady with mine. My heart starts to beat quickly, and I'm certain he can hear it. He dips his face closer, feigning an attempt at a kiss, trying to guage what my reaction will be.
My breath catches, and my lips quiver, hopeful they will make contact. In the shadows of my darkened apartment, I make out the way his mouth twitches and his eyes meet mine momentarily, asking permission.
I make a small noise, a frightened rabbit, caught in a wolf's stare. His eyes widen and he unclasps my hand, releasing it from behind my back.
"I... apologize, Miss Hyuuga," he steps back, and begins to turn. One small step toward my couch. "Please, continue with what you were doing, I will wait out here. We can talk when you're done." What I was doing? Oh! Oh my!
I gather my clothes, and my dignity, and slowly walk toward my small bathroom.
I stop. Without turning, I say, "Because no one took the time to see me for who I am."
"What?" he asks, slightly turning his head in my direction from his seat on the couch. I smirk.
"You asked why I was alone. No one has taken the time to see me for anything but the shy Hyuuga who stutters and blushes. I have always been more."
He rises and turns. "I saw it. I saw it when you comforted a man you barely knew. I saw it when you ran away. I saw it when you denied yourself pleasure, simply because. And I see it now, when you're terrified to be alone in your apartment with me. I can't understand why." Confusion littered his face, and he drew his hand through his hair again.
"Because you see me," I say quietly. I turn and make my way to the bathroom, stepping into my robe to get a fresh towel and toiletries left forgotten on my nightstand. Strangely, there is no sense of embarrassment as I walk to my bedroom, Sasuke's eyes following my every movement.
I hear rustling, and look out the door into the living area. I no longer see him on the couch.
Curious, I begin to walk out of my room, when he steps in front of me. "You... should go back to your bath. That robe..." I look down and blanch. I had forgotten this robe was sheer and short. I had forgotten he was just a man. I have denied myself that I am a woman. The way he looks at me lights me on fire. I feel my stomach flutter.
My mind goes back to the conversation so long ago with Sakura. Butterflies, fevers...
I take the initiative, spinning Sasuke around, against the doorjamb himself. I press my face close. I eye his lips. I feign once. Twice. He quivers, barely able to contain himself. I press my body into his, to lean up and whisper in his ear, "You're not going to scream, are you?"
He moves his head back as far as he can, to look me in the eye. Big mistake. I capture his lips, and there we stand, grasping onto eachother for dear life.
I have become whole, I realize in the back of my mind. Sasuke stops for a moment, looking at me, smiling, before picking me up and carrying me over the threshold to my bedroom. Somehow I know, it's the same for him.
We are whole, together. And nothing can take that away.
AN: Sorry to whomever really wanted this to be a lemon or lime, but really, it's just a slightly racy, kinda sweet fic that popped into my head, and man do I adore it so.
This is the section of the story where I want to explain a few things. I realize there is a bit of OOCness on Sasuke's part, but it's my story. I feel good about this oneshot, and I want you, the reader, to know what I, the author, was or wasn't thinking.
I would also like to address the reviewers who were so kind in the first two days this was up.
So, first things first. Reviewers:
Kawaiiitahina123: Simple, I like that.
xx-dongseng-xx: Actually, it's funny that you think that, because, think about it. You spill your heart to the man of your dreams, you pine away year after year for him, and the only person who shows you any sort of attention is is best friend. Nah, she wouldn't wait. But I am very happy you like this. I am probably going to make this a oneshot series.
kibagaaralover18: YOU'RE really sweet. lol.
Prodigy Keyblade Wielder: I've really had this rolling around in my head for a bit, and needed to find someone other than Naruto or Gaara for little HinaHina to be with. Suddenly, I'm doing laundry, and BOOM! Sasuke Uchiha. I'm glad you like it.
WinterKaguya: understand Sasuke's part how? When Hinata accidently let loose an eep of sorts, Sasuke realized that she was very innocent, and compared to his deeds, she had truly done nothing. He felt that it would be better to talk like rational humans on her couch, rather than take her right there, as much as he(and secretly she) wanted to. Really, he was trying to be a stand up guy.
Again, thanks so much. I will take the time to check out all of your respective works. I only hope to add encouraging words like you've done for me. 3
So yes, the OOC Sasuke. My feelings on this are simply... well... He went after his brother, thereby going after the Akatsuki. In order to become powerful enough, he joined with Orochimaru, which, lemme just tell you, was no picnic. So most of us can speculate what happened after Sasuke became powerful enough. He got tired of being a pet project to Orochimaru, carrying out twisted deeds under the guise of learning from him. Truly, Sasuke saw him for what he was. A coward who relied on everyone else to do his work so he could keep his well-manicured hands clean.
So now, Sasuke had killed Orochimaru, and there's a strange sense of pride that goes along with doing that, as well as the reminder that he did Konoha a favor. A BIG ONE. Now... the Akatsuki. So, after Sasuke meets up with Itachi, fights him, nearly dies but kills him (I'm saying he nearly dies, because for real, for real? you would too.), and then does the obligatory "neener neener neener, i kicked your butt" dance, what else does he have left to do?
he goes back to Konoha and comes to find that Sakura didn't wait for him(good girl).
So yeah.
Oh, if you have any ideal pairings for a oneshot series of these, let me know. I accept PM's and you can IM me at forsakenkalika on AIM.
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