Kuwabara's such a big guy, he's bound to have the biggest fucking hands ever! So Sexy~
Yusuke Urameshi had a very low attention span when it came to most things, school of course being on the top of the list. Ranked somewhere between that and shopping was talking. And not just any talking; girl talking. The sole exception to this was when he was talking about how hot the last chick he'd fought was to Kuwabara or Kurama (Hiei never cared enough to even restrain himself from fleeting away).
Normally, once something was given an attention rating it was never changed. Keiko's physical assaults managed to crank up the amount of attention he paid to his girlfriend, namely her. After having tagged along with Yusuke and his friends so many times, Keiko'd demanded he do the same. Now Yusuke was slumped over a table in the lunchroom at school, dutifully sitting next to his girl while she chattered away with her two friends.
It was with passion in his nonbeating heart that Yusuke wanted to shout to Koenma above that he was so Fucking bored.
He was irritated as hell as well from all the skeptical weary full out stares being sent his way from most of his classmates. Yusuke picked his head up enough outta his arm cocoon to shoot a sweeping glare around the room. Just as he was settling back into place to catch up on some sleep, he picked up the name of his best friend being giggled between the three girls. He opted to eavesdrop on the conversation rather than actually be civil and join in, so he laid his head back into his arm cave and tuned in.
"Of course, Kuwabara's nice. He actually treats a woman with respect, unlike some people," Keiko said, casting a scolding look at her boyfriend. Yusuke bristled at the comment before remembering all the times he 'd pulled up her skirt for a quick looksie. In fact, he still did that and his hand twitched with the need to flip the material up in front of everyone. But then he'd have to beat the shit outta everyone that'd got an eyeful.
"Oh, God that's hot. I like a man that's got a lick of sense in him," Yusuke heard one of her friends, Mura, say. He snorted at anyone thinking Kuwabara was attractive. At least not physically. Made sense the girls had to gush about things like his personality.
"He's got a good face, too! Not like most boys around here with the baby, pretty-boy look. Makes him seem more of a man," the other girl, Shiro, babbled. This had Yusuke confused. He though girls liked the whole younger look. He felt a bit of a panic setting in as he wondered if Keiko liked a more rugged looking guy. There really was much he could do to get his mug as ugly as Kuwabara's!
Yusuke felt Keiko leaning into her friends and strained to hear the next words coming from her mouth.
"And his hands," Keiko whispered in awe. The Fuck? Yusuke thought. What the Hell did someone's hands have to do with being hot? Yusuke glared at his own clenched fists, already making a list of contrasts between them and Kuwabara's.
"His Hands!" Shiro shouted, catching the attention of the people sitting the next table over.
"They look huge!" Mura added in.
"OhmyGod, they are! He was helping me up this one time and I swear both my palms fit into one of his!" Keiko squealed. Yusuke paused in his list making to think over Keiko's statement. He'd never noticed Kuwabara's hands were that big and he had about the same sized hand as Keiko did. Made him wonder how Keiko could pay any heed to something like that when he hung out with the tall ginger more than she did. "And they were positively dripping in calluses!"
Yusuke heard the other two girls shifting around in their chairs as they gave identical dreamy sighs. It was the same kinda sigh he dragged outta Keiko at night. He was having trouble trying to comprehend how someone like Kuwabara could bring about the kinda arousal the girls were having just at the gossip.
"I bet," Mura began with longing, "that he could crush me with his hands if he wanted."
"I bet," Shiro copied, "he could crush me with something else if he wanted. Cause I'd totally let him!"
Disgust poured onto Yusuke's face at the mention of Kuwabara having sex with anyone. The idea ate away at his mind much like what he imagined battery acid would. Yusuke's repulsion went unnoticed by the girls as the prattled on about Kuwabara.
"Since we're all thinking about the subject, I have to ask you Keiko," Shiro said with a devilish grin. "Is he a natural orange?"
Yusuke's head popped up at the question. What he saw was a little knowing smile on Keiko's face as she answered back in a low tone, "He most definitely is."
The girls let out startled squeaks as Yusuke roughly shoved the table away from him as he stood up and stormed away. Through a haze of red he caught sight of Kuwabara on the far side of the cafeteria. Wasting no time on swerving around the tables, Yusuke hopped on top and jumped from surface to surface faster than what most of the other kids could track. With a roar Yusuke's balled fist crashed into Kuwabara's temple as he flying tackled the man and brought him down on the ground. Using his knees to pin Kuwabara's shoulders to the floor, Yusuke rammed punch after punch into the man's nose until he heard a resounding crack.
"That's for showing Keiko your dick, you asshole!" Yusuke yelled into Kuwabara's blood soaked face. Kuwabara gave him a bewildered look before twisting both of them around and pulling Yusuke into a Full Nelson. Yusuke thrashed about wildly, trying to reach around to hit at Kuwabara all over again.
"Urameshi! You don't go 'round talking about a woman in public like that!" Kuwabara shouted at Yusuke over his animal like howls. "An' me 'n' Keiko never did nothin'!" he yelled still louder, hoping everyone would hear and not condemn Keiko not Yusuke's loud mouth accusations.
Kuwabara leaned in and hissed in Yusuke's ear, "You tryin' to make Keiko into a whore? 'Cause that's what you doing."
Yusuke stilled at the comment and ventured a look around. In the back he could see Keiko glowing red, on the verge of tears. He couldn't tell if she was shaking from humiliation or the desire to smack him into last week. Keiko was a good student, but gossip and rumors that were already spreading were going to push her into skipping like him. He was not going to let that happen.
From what little he bothered to understand about the social dynamics of school shit, Yusuke knew something even bigger than this little escapade had to happen in order for Keiko to be spared the ridicule. The sooner it happened, the better.
Bound with determination, Yusuke gently shrugged his shoulder and Kuwabara slowly released his hold on him. Spinning around to face him, Yusuke didn't pause before tackling Kuwabara to the ground again. This time in a lip lock. Kuwabara stared at him with bulging eyes. Yusuke used Kuwabara's stunned immobility to grab to handfuls of his light blue uniform and sneaking his tongue in for a lap or two.
Just as quickly as he'd started the make out session, Yusuke ended it and climb back to his feet. With his feet planted firmly on either side of Kuwabara's chest, Yusuke glared down at him.
"An' if I eva hear you're off dicking around with that Keikimo ass wipe again, Imma be twice as hard on you bitch!" raged Yusuke before making a haste exit. This was exactly why he rarely showed up for school. He was also dead set on never hanging out with Keiko if she was around those two girls.
Not even an hour passed before the whole school was abuzz with the news of the Kuwabara/Urameshi/Keikimo love triangle. Rumor had it Urameshi'd beaten Kuwabara into submission not to far back and used him as a bitch boy now. The female part of the school was quick to come up with the reason why loyal and honorable Kuwabara would go with Keikimo (everyone pretty much ignored/forgot about this started with Keiko) the ruthless gang leader from the next district over. It was believed that Keikimo'd tried to move onto Urameshi's turf while he was mysteriously gone a while and Kuwabara had stepped up to 'coax' the gangbanger away. Urameshi was of course furious when he found out his property, Kuwabara, had allowed another to touch him (what had originally started out being said was that Kuwabara had giving a harmless strip tease but then escalated into being brutally sodomized by Keikimo's entire gang).
When Kuwabara went to ask Urameshi what the hell was wrong with his head, Yusuke'd only snapped back, "You're hands are too Fucking big!" and reached out to pants Kuwabara, discovering he truly was naturally orange haired. Kuwabara rushed to pull his pants and boxers back up as he watched Yusuke walk away muttering 'Mother Fucker!' under his breath.