Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Studio Gainax animation, not me. Should they, or anyone affiliated with them, request it, I will remove all traces of this story from the web. Thank you.

Something Unexpected

By Random1377

"I'm home," Misato Katsuragi called out, slipping her shoes off with a tired sigh.

It had been a long day, and all the Major wanted to do was have a little something to eat, slip into bed, and pass out. NERV had been a madhouse… the Commander had been acting more and more mysterious… and she had broken her favorite pair of heels slipping on the short set of stairs leading up to the apartment building she lived in.

In short, Misato was tired.

"Welcome home," came the voice of Asuka Langley Souryu, sounding as if it was coming from the kitchen.

Wearily, the purple-haired woman shrugged off her coat, heading that way. "Have you guys eaten yet?" she inquired, rubbing her forehead. "I'm starve…" she trailed off as she entered the kitchen.

"There's a plate for you on the stove," Asuka replied quietly, not looking up from the paper she was writing. "We ate already."

Misato simply nodded.

Shinji Ikari, Misato's other charge, looked up briefly from the textbook he was studying, then back down, offering no explanation for what his guardian was seeing.

Asuka was sitting on Shinji's lap.

Maybe I'm seeing things… Misato thought, examining the scene with more care.

Shinji sat in his usual chair, a book on thermodynamics open on the table in front of him and a notebook lying next to it. Asuka was situated sideways on the brown-haired boy's lap, her legs dangling to the left of him and her left arm draped (comfortably) over his shoulders. A second notebook was lying open by Shinji's and the redhead was scribbling notes in German on the current page, pausing occasionally to write the Kanji equivalent on the opposite page.

Misato pursed her lips, waiting for someone to tell her what was going on. When neither Child spoke, her expression darkened. "So," she mumbled, "what are you guys up to?"

If they won't mention it, she thought darkly, I won't either. Two can play that game!

"Working on an essay," Asuka answered, setting her pencil down for a moment to rub her eyes. "It's kinda tough…"

Misato's mouth dropped open as the younger woman shifted her weight slightly, repositioning herself on Shinji's lap before picking her pencil up once more. Are they messing with me?? she thought suspiciously, What the HELL?

"Was work ok?"

Misato's mouth snapped closed at Asuka's quiet solicitation. "It wasn't too bad," she said stiffly, walking over to the stove and retrieving her plate. Taking her seat, she considered a new angle of attack. "What did you guys do tonight? Besides studying I mean."

"Nothing," Asuka replied immediately, examining the tip of her pencil before continuing her essay.

Misato scowled. Nothing? she thought angrily. You're practically having sex on that chair – and NOTHING'S going on??

Clearing her throat, she cut into her potatoes. "Learn anything in sex-ed today?" she quipped.

Surely, she thought, teasing would get a rise. If she implied that the two Children were intimate, one of them (probably Shinji) would become embarrassed and tell her what the hell was going on.

"Yeah," Asuka answered, not looking up, "we learned that sperm can survive outside the body for 24 hours."

Misato dropped her fork.

This is a put-on, she thought, glancing from one down-turned face to the other. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but they're putting me on!

Shinji turned the page in his textbook.

"There's some juice in the fridge," Asuka murmured, stretching on Shinji's lap, her right arm extending behind her as her left tightened around the boy for support. "Shinji thought you would like something besides coffee for a change."

"Is it lemon?" Misato asked sarcastically.

"No lemon," Asuka answered levelly.

Pushing her chair back from the table with an annoyed grunt, Misato went to the fridge. Ok, she thought, grabbing the pitcher, they're not doing it. Or if they are, they're so damn smooth that they don't even blush when they get asked pointblank if they are… and Shinji, sad to say, ISN'T that smooth…

Retrieving a glass from the cupboard, she retook her seat. "Any plans for the evening, then?" she asked, pouring the juice (which she noticed absently was pineapple) and assessing the two.

Shinji was glancing from his textbook to his notebook with a slight frown, as if he was trying to see where he had made a mistake, and Asuka… Asuka was leaning back against Shinji, her pencil laying flat on the table and the fingers of her right hand drumming idly on her notebook.

"No."

The two women's eyes met.

"I see…" Misato whispered, trying to read the younger woman's cool blue eyes.

In staring at the girl, Misato noticed that Asuka's left breast was brushing Shinji's chest with every breath she took… but the boy seemed either unaware, or uncaring, as he studied on. Something was so very wrong in the apartment – but she could not see exactly what. There was certainly nothing WRONG with Asuka sitting on Shinji's lap – they WERE fourteen, after all – but it just seemed so unlike her… so unlike them both. And the lack of strong emotion from either of them was unnerving her.

Especially Shinji.

"Shinji," Misato said suddenly, "you haven't even said hi to me. Are you ok?"

"He's got a sore throat," Asuka said smoothly.

"He can't tell me that?" Misato asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes.

Shinji raised his head, smiling weakly. 'Hurts to talk,' he mouthed, looking back to his homework.

Misato pursed her lips again, her eyes locking with Asuka's as she looked up from Shinji's bowed head. What is it? she thought, anger at the thought of being deceived becoming confusion. What am I missing between you two?

Asuka's eyes offered no answers as she gazed back at the older woman, but Misato thought she saw some emotion stirring in their azure depths.

She just could not say what.

"I saw Kaji today," Misato murmured, "he said to tell you hi."

If there was one topic that always drew Asuka's attention, it was news of Ryouji Kaji, Misato's old lover. The redhead had mentioned several times that she could go for a guy like Kaji, and obviously had a sizable crush on the man. Talk of his day-to-day activities always roused her interest.

Today was no exception.

"Really?" Asuka asked, smiling happily. "Tell him I said hi back."

Misato's confusion only grew at the response. She's… beaming… she thought, shaking her head slightly as Asuka leaned over her paper once more, but she's still hanging on Shinji like a dirty shirt!

She noticed suddenly that Shinji's left hand was resting against Asuka's hip, not holding exactly, but – in Misato's eyes – in a rather intimate fashion. His middle and ring finger seemed to be nestled neatly into the crease on the girl's shorts, exactly at the point her hipbone met her femur.

A sudden, clear image filled her mind. She could see Asuka, moments before she came through the door, kissing Shinji as if her life depended on it, her tongue demandingly exploring the inside of the boy's mouth with wild abandon as she urged his hand up under her plain yellow tee shirt.

Then they hear the door, she reasoned, her eyes fixed on Shinji's hand. They pull apart… she fixes her hair really quick, tells him to keep his mouth shut… and they pretend to do homework. She frowned as her mind continued to spin the scenario. They have the homework already set out – just in case I get home before…

She broke the chain of thought. Why bother such an elaborate setup? Why not just have Asuka hop off his lap and sit down – or leave the room? It didn't make sense.

"Man I'm tired," Asuka yawned, setting her pencil down and…

She's NOT going to! Misato's mind exploded.

But she was. Asuka set her pencil down between two pages of her notebook, closing it to ensure that it didn't roll – and laid her head against Shinji's shoulder, closing her eyes.

And she's… she's touching him!!

Asuka's left hand was idly running over Shinji's opposite shoulder, giving the appearance of a gentle, loving caress.

But she can't stand him! Misato's thoughts railed. She doesn't HATE him – but damnit, she said she'd never date a 'little boy,' and now look at her! And she calls ME shameless?!?

She watched with unhidden shock as Shinji shifted in his seat, moving Asuka's weight slightly to make her more comfortable. Asuka pressed herself a bit closer to Shinji, resting her free hand in her lap and sighing softly.

And Misato could bear no more.

"I'm going to my room…" she announced brusquely. "Goodnight."

She really, truly wanted to know what was going on… but she refused to simply ask. It was as if by asking them, she would be giving them what they wanted – and she was NOT going to lose to them. This must be some sort of twisted game, or prank, her tired mind insisted, and she would be damned if she was going to give them the satisfaction of seeing her made a fool of!

I'll just catch them in the act, she thought reasonably, I'll wait about fifteen minutes… slip back in… and whatever they're up to, I'll see it with my own eyes!

Taking her plate into her room and shoveling her (surprisingly good) dinner down, she waited.

They've got to be at least kissing! she thought confidently. I won't have secrets in my house…

Twenty minutes later… Misato's door slid silently open.

Quiet as a mouse, the Director of NERV Operations and Tactics stole down the darkened hallway, making not a sound. She was breathing as shallowly as she could, willing her feet to avoid the squeaky board in the hall. Closer she crept, her body tense, her veins filled with adrenaline.

If they ARE making out, she thought darkly, I won't ground them – but they WILL explain themselves. They think they can just do what they want, keep it from me, and have no consequences?? I think NOT!

Reaching the door to the kitchen, she held her breath.

Now we'll see…

Misato peeked around the corner, her pulse suddenly racing, and saw… the same two Children, in the same position, doing exactly what they had been doing when she left. Shinji was still copying notes… Asuka was still sitting on his lap… and, as far as she could see, nothing at ALL had changed.

Actually… one thing had changed.

Misato let out the breath she had been holding in a soft sigh. But… why? she thought desperately.

Asuka was no longer writing her paper. Instead, she was sleeping peacefully on Shinji's lap, her head resting against his shoulder and her arm still around him. She wasn't exceedingly close to the boy, otherwise – her lips weren't pressed to his neck, her other hand wasn't in his hair, and she wasn't smiling like the cat who ate the canary.

Overall, the scene struck Misato as sad, though she could not say why.

"Shinji?"

Shinji looked up from his notebook as Misato came back into the kitchen. 'Yeah?' he mouthed, swallowing with a slight grimace.

Why? Misato's mind screamed. Please tell me why you're so close! Are you playing a joke on me? Did Asuka get shot, and you're holding the wound closed until the really, really slow paramedics get here? Did Asuka promise to teach you German if you pretended to be close to her to make me crazy? Do you have some rare, exotic disease that requires that a girl sit on your lap or you'll die? She felt her eyes growing slightly damp. Did you fall in love when I wasn't looking?

Ultimately… all she could whisper was, "Goodnight…"

For the briefest instant… the same emotion she had seen in Asuka's eyes flashed through Shinji's. And again… Misato could not read it.

"Goodnight, Misato…" Shinji rasped, his voice sounding harsh and scratchy.

Misato smiled softly as the boy coughed quietly, obviously trying not to wake the girl sleeping on his lap.

"Night…"

The End

Author's notes: just wanted to experiment a little, and I really liked the image of Asuka all comfy and cozy on Shinji's lap. *shrug* I wrote it entirely on Thanksgiving day, and it was not pre-read – yeah, it was rushed, I wanted to get it out in one day, damnit :P

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com