Well, this is my first foray into the Twilight Saga fanfic, and as my favourite Twilight character is Carlisle Cullen, he will be the centre of this story.

I wouldn't say that I am a Twihard fan, I liked the books, and the films, though Edward and Bella annoyed me endlessly in the films, with their moaning teenage angst! I think perhaps I'm too old to appreciate what teens go through when they fall in love!

Also, for those of you who are reading my other stories, you will be pleased to know that I have almost finished the final chapter of Curfew! I will endeavour to post it at some point this weekend.

As usual, the normal disclaimer applies; I do not own Twilight, its characters, themes or concept, and am making no money from this story.

As an aside, I would like to thank CarlislaCooper for her insights, and general debauched ramblings! Her delightful Bellisle stories helped to inspire me to write one of my own!

Dark Moon

Chapter 1

Black Clouds

"Don't leave me!" Bella cried, trying to get up, though her drugged limbs and bandaged leg heeded her efforts.

"I'm sorry, I can't stay here. I'm too dangerous for you. You almost died tonight, because of me," Edward said, backing away towards the door.

"Please! Edward, we can fix this! You can change me!" she begged.

"No. I won't doom you to this life. You deserve a proper life," he said as he opened the door.

"No! I want your life!"

"I'm sorry. I can't," he whispered, his eyes glassy with tears he could never shed as he left her alone in the sterile room.

He raced through the hospital, and tried to ignore the screams and cries of Bella as he jumped in his car and sped home. Guilt ate away at him as he drove; despair settling over him like a black cloud. Bella could have died. She would have died, if he and the others hadn't found her and James. All that blood… So tempting, and yet… so frightening. Carlisle had said to let her change, but Edward had been horrified at the thought. Sucking the venom out had been the only option, but it hadn't been easy. The urge to drink her dry had almost overwhelmed him, even when Carlisle had begged him to find the will to stop, that Bella was bleeding to death, he had barely found the presence of mind to pull away.

She had fallen unconscious, as he'd carried her out, still bleeding badly, and in danger of losing her life despite his and Carlisle's efforts.

He couldn't live with himself knowing that his very existence would one day cost her her life. Either dead or undead. He refused to let either happen to her, and he knew that if he stayed, the Volturi would eventually demand her death, or instruct him to change her.

He couldn't be the reason. He wouldn't.

"Is he there?" Bella asked, desperation evident in her trembling voice as she gripped the phone.

"He's out hunting," Alice replied quietly, cradling her phone to her delicate ear.

"Why won't he see me?" Bella cried.

"I don't know… I'll keep trying, Bella, I promise!" Alice tried to reassure, looking over her shoulder at Edward, who stood with his head down.

"Alice…"

"I have to go. The rest of us are going hunting. I'll call you later," Alice said, flipping the phone shut, before Bella could ask more.

Edward slowly lifted his head and wearily looked at his sister. His shame rolled off his taut body in waves, permeating the house.

"Edward, you have to talk to her!" Alice exclaimed, stepping over to him.

"No," he said, turning away.

"Alice is right, Edward. You can't keep avoiding Bella," Carlisle said, stepping into the room.

"It's safer this way," Edward countered.

"No, Edward. It's cowardly," Alice said, glowering at him.

Edward looked at her, his eyes withdrawn. He felt defeated, guilty. Why did Bella have to be so lovely, so tempting to him? Why hadn't he simply stayed away, as the small rational part of his mind had told him to.

He decided something in that moment so quickly; Alice barely had time to see it.

"We need to leave," he said, startling Alice and Carlisle with his determined stance.

"What?" she said, incredulously.

"We have to move on. We planned to in a few years anyway. What difference does it make now?" he replied, his voice desperate for reassurance.

"Edward, we can't simply leave now. We haven't planned our move," Carlisle said.

"It's too dangerous for us to stay! Bella almost died! Because of me!" Edward cried, swiping an arm across the nearest table, sending all the ornaments and pictures crashing to the floor.

"Edward…" Alice started, but was stopped by Carlisle's cool, calm hand on her shoulder.

"Edward, we can't leave now. We have a few more years left. You know that the longer we can remain in a place, the better it is for us. Besides, the Quileutes won't be happy with us just up and leaving. They know that we always plan to remain here for a decade at least, to hold claim to our portion of the territory."

Edward looked away, the stress of his anguish visible in his taut stance.

"If Bella truly is in danger because of our existence, we can protect her better whilst still living here in Forks. We may have taken care of James, but, there is every chance that Victoria may come back," Carlisle added, stepping towards his distraught son.

"It's too difficult… I can't do it…" Edward whispered hoarsely, before flashing up to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Carlisle didn't need Alice's visions to know what his son would do.

"He's leaving, isn't he?"

"Once he'd made his decision, I saw him leaving. I knew we wouldn't go, but I still saw him leave. He blames himself. I don't think we can talk him out of it," Alice said, her eyes full of sorrow for the whole messy situation.

"Perhaps time will help ease his guilt. All we can do is be here for him, and for Bella. This will not be easy on her," Carlisle said, pulling Alice to him.

Edward stayed true to his decision, and left that night, leaving no instructions for his family, and no note for Bella. Rosalie vented her anger at Edward's retreating form, calling him a coward. Her sentiments were shared by most of the others, but no one felt they could voice their opinions so coldly.

The remaining Cullens kept track of his movements until he had left Forks altogether. Alice retreated to her room and spent hours picking out the right kind of outfit for her visit to Bella. She wanted to convey the right amount of sympathy, without seeming condescending or patronising. Jasper tried to use his calming influence to help her, but she flapped and fretted into the early hours of the morning.

Just as she was second-guessing the outfit she had chosen, her phone rang and Bella's name flashed insistently on the display.

"Hi," Alice whispered.

"Is Edward there? He's not answering his phone," Bella immediately questioned, her voice raw and peppered with tiredness.

"Bella, I'm coming over. I need to talk to you properly," Alice replied, putting a little more force behind her voice.

"But, where's Edward?"

"Bella, please. I'll be there soon," Alice said, cutting her off before shutting her phone.

Alice drove over to the Swan residence as fast as she dared. Jasper had begged her to come, but she had insisted on going alone. Her own guilt at not seeing what Bella had planned in Phoenix, waged war with her rationality. If only she had seen a flash before Bella could escape her and Jasper, Bella would never have been put in danger in the first place. Edward would still be with her.

Normally, she would be polite and knock on the front door, but she felt too anxious to see Bella, and simply leapt up through the open bedroom window, startling Bella.

"Alice!" Bella screamed, almost toppling from her bed.

"Shh! I told you I would come," Alice said, quickly sitting down on the bed.

"Where's Edward? Why won't he call me? Has he said anything?" Bella rushed, her eyes imploring in their desperation.

"Bella, please listen. Edward… has gone away… for a while at least."

"What? Why? Did I do something? Why didn't he see me first?" Bella begged, tears forming in the corners of her chocolate eyes.

"No, Bella, you didn't do anything. We did. It's our fault! We put you in danger! We should have protected you better! I should have seen what James had planned! I should have seen you leave!" Alice all but cried, grasping Bella's hands.

"But, it's my fault! For being so stupidly human! I put your family in danger! What if he'd have killed you? He was so strong!" Bella whined, her voice thick with anguish and shaky tears.

"Bella, don't blame yourself! It'll all be okay, I promise. Edward will come back when he's ready. He's not decided to stay away forever. I would have seen him decide. We're all staying. We won't leave you," Alice soothed, pulling Bella into a firm embrace, stroking her hair as she cried, soaking Alice's shoulder.

Alice felt the venom well up in her eyes, and it pained her to think she could never shed them for Bella. It made her feel more guilty for not protecting Bella as well as she felt she should have, but she silently vowed to protect Bella with her life from now on.

A/N: I noticed that not many authors had delved into the possibilities of Edward leaving her at the end of the first book, as many seem to focus on the incident in New Moon, or after the battle in Eclipse. I thought it might be interesting to see how the characters might have evolved, if the story had played out differently from near the beginning...

Please R&R and let me know what you thought!