Navy Blue
Anastasia and Christian meet each other when they're 18 with different dreams. Hers is to be a singer and his is to be the corporate mogul we know and love. What happens when an evil and manipulative Elena gets in their way and deludes them that it'll never work out?
Christian's POV
I'm sitting in the back of the SUV whilst Taylor is driving up front. We're on the way back to Escala after a long workday and the silence is filled by a popular nighttime radio that's on. The station plays newly released songs so people get to hear it if they've missed out during the day. It's the channel Taylor always puts on during our drive home and I've never commented on it. It's also the channel that she listened to every night, whilst doing crosswords at the dinner table.
"I'm Ana." She says, breathy and nervous. Her blue sweater brought out the colour of her electric eyes. Her to-go cup go coffee crashed between both hands as a way to keep warm.
"I'm Christian." I smile.
She flips her hair to one side and the smell of her shampoo along with her natural scent envelops me. She grasps my hand, her grip delicate but firm.
"Nice to meet you, Christian." My name on her lips sounded like heaven.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ana."
I drop my blackberry and rub my eyes to ease the strain they've been under. My brain is starting to jumble all the words together and I look out the window to give myself a break. The Seattle nightlife is coming to life even though it's only six pm in the evening but it's a Friday so I guess it's warranted.
The car stops at a red light and my eyes fall on a couple walking with their arms wrapped around each other. They're laughing about something and the girl leans in even closer and he wraps his arms tighter around her.
The familiar sight makes my heart ache and I look away. I suddenly remember the feel of her and how she moulded and fit perfectly at my side. I remember how we used to walk like that down the road when I was an unknown and there wasn't any need for security. I remember when it was just me and her.
"Christian!" She giggles and it makes my heart sore.
We're walking towards my apartment, wrapped around each other like vines. She's slightly tipsy and giggly and the scent of her mixed with alcohol makes my mouth water.
"You smell delicious, Ana." I breathe in her ear.
She closes her eyes and nuzzles her head against my neck in an effort to be closer to me. Her breathing getting heavier and her eyes turn a fraction darker and it makes me excited. It makes me think of her alabaster skin spread out and waiting against my navy blue sheets.
"You really shouldn't say things like that to me in public." She raises her eyes brows.
"We're going to be home in a couple of minutes anyway." I grin.
"Home," she hums. "Everywhere feels like home with you."
I smile at her and feel my grow twice the size and beat twice as fast as I kiss her lips sweetly. She tastes like cherry vodka and Ana.
"I feel the same way, baby."
I was in the middle of starting up my company when she came into my life, and I was consumed by her. It was as if I was living in perpetual darkness and she was the sun.
The car starts moving again and it wakes me from my recollections.
"Good evening, folks." The radio presenters voice fills the silent car. "We've got a real treat for you. She's a Seattle based singer who's recent single has taken over the charts by storm. She's got an album ready to release on the 18th of June and from what I've heard, it'll reach platinum in no time."
"I'll give you guys a listen and trust me, this song will make you want to beg your ex back for just one more night. She's got a magic voice like that." He laughs. "Here you go, guys. Anastasia Steele with her new single, Navy Blue."
My heart stops in my chest and I look up to the radio so fast my neck cracks. The beginnings of a guitar fill the car and I almost yell at Taylor to turn the volume up to full max.
And then her voice comes through.
Conversations in the silence
Words are violent
And the feeling's dying slow
We don't even try to hide it
It's like we like it
I guess the pain is comfortable
We got delusions of a grand oblivion
We're only happy when we're higher than the sun
Conversations in the silence
Words are violent
And the call is fading slow
Don't say the words we know are true
Just one more night's not much to lose
Pretend that I'm not wrong for you
Just one more night in navy blue, blue, blue
Just one more night in navy blue, blue, blue, blue
Just one more night in navy blue
I feel my breath being knocked out of my chest. The song is about me. She's wrote a song about me, three years after we last saw each other. I can do nothing but listen as her voice floats through the car. I feel Taylor's gaze on me in the rear view mirror but I'm concentrating so hard on the radio like she might crawl through it any minute.
She's wrote a song about us and the navy blue sheets that were a staple in my old apartment ever since that first night. As if we're back there, I hear her laugh crystal clear in my head.
"Navy blue?" She giggles. "How'd you know that was my favourite colour?"
We broke our kiss just long enough for her to survey my room. The air is getting heavier by the minute. She's running her hands over my navy blue sheets and the sight gets me hard in no time.
"I didn't," I shrug. "It's mine too."
She spins round and wraps her slender arms around my neck. "Really?" She asks.
I nod and kiss her again, slowly. She moans her appreciation in my mouth. She presses up against me and lift her legs up so they wrap around my waist. I walk us to the bed and lay her down. In a flash, her shirt is on the floor and is showing off her navy blue bra. I sit up just to stare at her. Her hair is fanned out and her alabaster skin is a stark contrast against the dark azure of the cotton sheets. Her crystal blue eyes hooded with need and she reaches out to pull me back to her.
She'll be here every night, I decide.
I see your face in my reflection, craving attention
Is it me or my ego?
You don't want to ask the question, keep me guessing
Think we both can't be alone
We got delusions of a grand oblivion
We're only happy when we're higher than the sun
See your face in my reflection, craving attention
And the call is dying slow
"Hey." Her arms come up behind me and rub my chest soothingly, in the way only she can.
"Hey." I smile at her.
She looks at me and doesn't say anything for a beat too long.
"What?"
"Nothing." She smiles. "I just like looking at you."
I chuckle at her and steer the topic onto another direction.
"Have you written anything yet?" I nod to her notebooks lying dormant on the bedside table.
She shakes her head, "Not today. I was looking at the financials for this deal and they're looking good."
"She's not only distracting you, but she's distracting herself. Tell me, when's the last time that measly girl has written a song?"
The wave of guilt that washes over me is strong. "Ana, you need to write. You can't just focus on me and my needs all the time."
"I know, don't worry." She grins cheekily. "Besides, you give me plenty of inspiration."
I take her into my arms and kiss her face repeatedly while she laughs. Her giggles drown out the bad thoughts planted by the malicious words of an old woman and I get to keep the love of my life in my arms for another day.
Don't say the words we know are true
Just one more lie, it's not much to lose
Pretend that I'm not wrong for you
Just one more night in navy blue, blue, blue
Just one more night in navy blue, blue, blue, blue
Just one more night in navy blue
One more night in navy blue
I don't notice the car come into a stop and Taylor has to wake me up from my trance.
"Sir?"
I shake my head and tell him to go ahead. He, being the good bodyguard he is, steps out but waits for me outside of the vehicle. I'm in shock. My Ana was just on the radio and the overwhelming pride I feel for her bubbles out of my chest in laughs. I'm ecstatic and exuberant in my joy for her but it doesn't last for long. I should've been with her, holding her whilst the radio plays the fruits of her labour. I would've laughed at the little celebratory dances she does and spin her around the great room at Escala.
I feel like I've let Taylor wait for me long enough and head up to the elevator. We stand in silence but I can see him glancing at me from time to time. He nods to me and goes to retire to the staff quarters where I know his wife Gail, the housekeeper, is waiting for him.
The penthouse is silent and I hate it. I pull up Spotify my phone and search my love's name, and she pops up instantly. I click on the only release she has and see that her followers are already growing. Navy Blue rings out through the speakers of my phone and bounce off the vast room. I grab a bottle of Bollinger and two glasses but I only fill mine.
I'm celebrating, but I'm celebrating alone.
I feel dejected at the thoughts of the life we could've had. I let my ego get in the way of the best thing that's ever happened to me. In letting her go, I got everything I wanted but she was what I needed. The taste of accomplishment I feel at making my second billion yesterday pales in comparison of the joy I felt when I was by her side, eating takeaway pizza and drinking out of plastic cups.
I walk to my bedroom and head straight to the closet. I clutch the box hidden in one of the top shelves in my wardrobe and I pull it out. I told Gail to never, ever touch what's inside and if there ever was a fire in Escala, this should be the only thing saved. Everything else can burn, but not this.
Like caressing a newborn, I take out the pictures which show my time with Ana. Everything is here from us having ice cream at the park, to us in the bar with her friends. I look through them all, intensifying my heartache but I don't care. I pick up the last photo we have together. It's of both of us in my apartment taken by one of our mutual friends. I'm staring in the camera, a distant look on my face but she's there, looking at my face, her eyes showing the adoration and love she has for me. Her small hands grasp the sleeve of my shirt like how she always did, as if I'd disappear any minute.
"You did it, baby." I whisper, wishing with every fibre in my body that it was to her face instead of an old photograph.
I remember what I was thinking in this photograph. My head was filled with Elena's manipulative words, aiming for me to break up the one true love I've ever had.
She succeeded.
I walk through the door, and I'm seething, listening to Elena's words as to how Ana was a distraction to me and in turn, I was ruining her career by being her distraction too.
"She's a distraction, Christian. If you really want to succeed, you'll get rid of her. More importantly, if you want her to succeed, you need to take yourself out of her life."
Ana's lying on my bed, writing in her notebook. She hears me and her face instantly lights up in the smile I love so much.
"Hey, baby." She grins. "You'll never guess what happened today."
"We need to talk." I say to her.
"Oh, okay." She shifts on the bed so she could face me better. "What about, hot stuff?"
"You're not good for me, Ana." I say to her.
The smile slips off of her face and it breaks my heart. She sits up and clutches the navy blue sheets of my bed. She's wearing my t-shirt with nothing but panties. Her hair is wavy and sexy and frames her face just right whilst the moonlight highlights her features. She's breathtaking. And I regret everything I've said so far.
But I need to do this. For us.
"What do you mean?" She stutters.
I don't know what I mean, sweetheart. I'm sorry.
"The company is starting to take shape now, and I can't afford all of these distractions." I explain.
She scoffs at me. "So I'm just a distraction now?"
Never.
"It's not that, Ana." I deny. "I mean, you've talked about becoming a singer ever since we've met but you haven't even written anything since we've gotten together."
"That's not true," she denies vehemently.
"It is true, Ana." I'm shouting now and the words that come out of my mouth are someone else's. "I mean, come on! I'm on the way to making my first million, I can't be seen with a struggling artist. It's just wrong."
I see the tears pooling in her crystal blue eyes but she vehemently wipes them away with the back of her hand. When she looks at me, she's angry.
"So now I'm wrong for you." She states and starts to get up to put her pants on. "You know, I thought we'd always support each other no matter what and now you're on your way to being the successful businessman you've always wanted to be and I'm just a struggling artist in your eyes?"
She stalks towards me and I can't speak. Her scent intoxicates me like it always has and I gulp down words of retribution. I push down the feelings of wanting to take my words back and take her into my arms so we can sleep and kiss and do whatever we do best.
"I've stood by you. I've helped you, and now that I'm supposedly beneath you, I'm to be thrown away like trash? I love you, Christian. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
I say nothing.
"Answer me, Christian." She reaches out to touch my chest. The only person that I've allowed to do it but I step away from her touch because I know even a graze of her fingertips will make my resolve crumble at her feet.
"Is that really how you see me?" She cries.
"I'm sorry, Ana." I apologise.
She stands there for a few more minutes, taking deep breaths. She takes one last one before her feet move again. In what seems like a second, she grabs her bag and her notebook full of songs and compositions and she's out the door.
Out of my life.
I shake the memory from my head. Of course I was distracted, everybody who's ever been in love is distracted but I was so happy. When the money started coming in from one deal after another, it couldn't even compare to the pure joy I felt when I was in my one bedroom apartment celebrating, what would now be considered measly accomplishments, by her side.
Ana always had insecurities that filled her mind up with thoughts that stifled her ambition. She was always scared that she wasn't good enough, or that she wasn't going to amount to much, if she ever did put out her music. That night, I hit her where it hurt the most. To say that she was a struggling artist was a low blow, even for me. I was a struggling businessman at that point in time and she knew it too. Nevertheless, she helped until my hundreds became thousands and then she was gone before my first million.
So why did I listen?
I sigh as I put the photographs back into a neat pile. Ana's song still paying from my phone but I can't bring myself to turn it off. My eyes land on the dark fabric lain at the bottom of the box. I grab it and stand up to shake it out. It's a bit dusty from disuse but it's the one. I go to my bed and I don't even bother to change the sheets because I upgraded from my queen sized bed when I was 18. Instead, I lay it over my current sheets so it looks like a dark blue canvas with a white frame.
I lie down and close my eyes and it's like she's here, caressing my face like she always did. I can almost hear her soft breaths and she curls up tight against me. I can see her eyes in my memories filled with love and light, I couldn't even fathom of touching until I met her. And for one more night, she's here to keep me company in my memories, so strong that I can feel her.
Just one more night in navy blue.