Good Evening Everyone!
Deja vu, huh?
You know, after I wrote Miracles and Mistletoes, I considered hanging up my hat regarding long, epic stories to focus more on writing short stories. However, during the course of writing MandM, as well during the following lull, many ideas began to surface in my head regarding this fanon. Specifically, I realized that there were many unanswered questions/opportunities for more development left unexplored by the first two stories. Naturally, I couldn't let these sit in limbo, so here we are!
Unfortunately, I seemed to rush into writing the original story, and in doing so, I wound up with a product that just didnt feel quite right. The original intent was to use this story to further explore the Kankers past, but for whatever reason, I foolishly decided to incorporate several plot points and subplots in an attempt make this "big". I felt as though it was disjointed, and the subplots involving the Eds and the remainder of the kids would have detracted from the main plot...and so it did.
That being said, I have decided to rewrite the story to accomadate the original intent. The basic premise remains the same, but there have been a few changes to bring this into alignment with how I viewed the story upon inception. Please note, this is a Kankers story and was always intended to be, so the Eds will take a back seat on this one and allo their girls to shine.
You will find the first few chapters unchanged, with changes beginning to happen around Chapter six. I will be reuploading a few chapters possibly on a daily basis, depending on how much I alter, and we should be back to where we were in the next week or so, at which point we will continue.
This is for the best and will allow me to bring out the full potential of the story with minimal distractions. Without further ado, let us finally start this journey, the journey of the story as I truely envisioned it. The conclusion of the Kilted Trilogy:
SPOILER ALERT: This story is takes place after Bad Girls with Big Hearts and Miracles and Mistletoes. This story is meant to be read with knowledge acquired from those stories, and as such contains spoilers from them.
Ed Edd n' Eddy in
Unfinished Business
Chapter 1
As the Suns rays began to impose on the intricate facade of Peach Creek Town Hall, the large, ornate analog clock adorning the spire had shifted its copper coated hands to the 7:00 am. position. This action prompted the beautiful sound of the clock towers bells to ring out, producing seven staggered tones of a metallic texture that could be heard throughout the community.
Six months have passed since the faithful events that surrounded the previous Christmas season; the new year had come and gone, and the children returned to school for six more months of learning. After battling an unusually harsh winter, and enjoying the mild spring breeze, the month of June had finally arrived. The long days characteristic of summer had returned to Peach Creek, ushering in 80 degree temperatures, occasional summer rains, and beautiful breezy days. The green foliage typically adorning the trees of the town and Cobblers Woods had returned, as did the diverse sound of the songbirds perched within their branches.
However, the appearance of summer foliage, as well as the glistening shimmer of morning dew drops on the grass, were viewed as more than simple natural phenomena by children and teenagers of Peach Creek. To them, it signaled the countdown to the end of the school year, and the inevitable start of the greatest time of the year, and the closest thing to heaven on earth for an adolescent; summer vacation.
After several long weeks of waiting, the day has finally arrived. It was June 21st, the last day of classes at Peach Creek High School; in less than six hours, students would vacate the building for two whole months, bidding farewell to their friends as they went their separate ways. Those who had completed their senior year were set to report to the football field, where they would one by one make their way up to the stage to receive their hard earned diplomas, and say their last goodbyes to their friends as they headed off to college, a respectable trade school, or the military.
Despite all of the excitement and anticipation surrounding the upcoming school day, the interior of the building was completely silent, due to the fact that students were not expected to report for classes for another hour. The building was not without inhabitants though, for four particular students had decided to get started on an "extracurricular project" they had been planning for the last week.
The rambunctious and somewhat mischievous Eddy, and his two best friends Ed and Double Dee had taken up post in the schools audio-visual studio; a relatively large room populated with computers, microphones, and film projectors use by the members of the AV club to practice their film and sound editing skills. Several carts lined the side of the room, upon each was mounted a reasonably sized, older model cathode ray television set; a visual apparatus commonly found in schools.
Most notably, a small makeshift stage of sorts had been set up on the far side of the room. The boys had arrived at the school around a half hour ago, and had spent their time hanging a large tarp on the wall. The tarp portrayed a stock still of the north shore of Hawai'i, providing a scenic background of sorts. In front of the tarp, the boys had placed three microphone stands in a semi circle across the stage, with an additional one mounted at the front and center position. Two tall stands had been placed on both sides of the stage, serving as mounts for a pair of high intensity lights, both focusing their beams on the centrally positioned microphone.
A few moments passed, at which point the door acting as access and egress to the equipment closet adjacent to the stage opened. In a flash, an amateur dolly mounted television camera emerged, being pushed from behind by Eddy. The stout Ed boy emitted a quick "woohoo" as he briskly pushed the camera across the floor, bringing it to a stop directly in front of the stage. Interestingly, he was not wearing his typical summer attire; rather he had donned a dark blue shirt adorned with white flowers, a typical example of a Hawaiian shirt. In addition, he had placed a straw hat, (appearing to have been weaved of imitation palm leaves), on his head, further emphasizing his tropical look.
The boy took a glance into the view finder, spending a few moments adjusting the focus, at which point he pulled away while displaying a sly grin.
"Perfect," said Eddy as he rubbed his hands together, "Look alive boys, we're just about ready for show time!"
Eddy turned around towards the center of the room with an over confident grin. Standing a few feet away from him was his nerdy friend Double Dee. He too was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, although his was red in color. In addition, he had donned two large lei's around his neck, one white and one green. Since the events of the previous winter, Double Dee had traded his black ski hat for a hairpiece, meant to replicate his exact hairstyle and color prior to his accident; a beautiful Christmas gift from his girlfriend Marie. His hair could be best described as a "curtained style", parted on the side and poker straight in texture, hanging loosely down to a length slightly past his ears. This new development has earned him a new playful nickname from his best friends; he was now colloquially known as "Mop Top", rather than "Sockhead"
Interestingly, Double Dee had acquired yet another accessory for this occasion. The black haired boy has brought with him his pedal steel guitar, and had just completed the process of tuning it. Despite his confidence with his instrument of choice, the nerdy boy appeared quite nervous, in complete contrast to his confident best friend.
"I'm not sure if this is a good idea Eddy," said Double Dee as he adjusted his lei's for straightness, sweating bullets as he did so, "Perhaps we should reconsider our options."
"What, and leave our friend Rolfie boy hangin'?" asked Eddy, "We've come too far to chicken out now! And besides there's no way this plan could fail. Lee says Lindsay's dad picked this song up from the time he spent in Hawaii, and played it all the time when she was little. She's loved it ever since, and one of her dreams is to visit the north shore. That and the fact that it's a love song makes it a perfect match."
"I suppose," said Double Dee, "Not to sound ignorant or offensive, but I find it hard to believe that, given Rolfs odd vocal timbre and his less than stellar command of the English language, he would be able to master the lyrical articulation of this piece in such a short amount of time. I am also quite surprised that Principal Blomgren would allow us permission to use the PA system and the Widdle Channel for this endeavor. He is usually quite strict regarding his morning announcement routine."
"Oh I'm way ahead of ya Double Dee," said Eddy, "One, Rolf ain't gonna be the one singing. I got a nice little regarding of a cover I ripped off the internet rigged up to the sound system, and got Rolf to practice lip synching to it. With a little bit of Eddy magic, we'll have our friend carrying a tune in no time!"
Eddy snickered as Double Dee gazed upon his friend with a blank stare. After a few seconds, Eddy decided to continue with his explaination.
"And as for the issue with our time slot on that stupid 'Widdle' school network channel," said Eddy as he performed a hitchhikers thumb upward, "I've got Ed taking care of that."
"What?" asked Double Dee as he turned upward.
In the speak of a devil like manner, one of the white tiles seated in the ceiling grid opened downward as if it were a hatch. From the opening, the lovable oaf Ed emerged, hanging downward from the L channel using his knees as if he were a child on the jungle gym. His face was adorned with his typical dopey smile, however his eyes were currently covered by a pair of safety goggles. In addition, the large boy brandished a pair of pliers in his left hand as he waved towards his nerdy friend.
"Hiya Double Dee," said Ed, "I'm an electrician."
Double Dee simply stared upward towards his friend, as Eddy decided to engage Ed in conversation.
"How's it going up there Ed?" asked Eddy.
"Almost ready Eddy!" yelled Ed in an enthusiastic manner.
"Perfect," said Eddy, "Get back to work and finish up, we're on in five!"
"Wilco Roger Eddy!" said Ed, at which point he disappeared back into the ceiling plenum.
Double Dee remained silent for a few seconds, at which point he turned back toward Eddy.
"Eddy," said Double Dee, "What is Ed doing up in the ceiling plenum?"
"Just tapping the school communication tables," said Eddy in a casual tone.
"Tapping the school communication cables!?" yelled Double Dee in a frantic manner.
"Don't worry," said Eddy, "Ed knows what he's doing, he's been working around television sets all of his life. Of course Mr. Blomgren wasn't going to let us telecast in place of his stupid boring morning announcements, so I decided we are going to make a surprise guest appearance. About thirty seconds into the morning announcements, Ed's going to intercept the telecast, and we'll be on in every classroom as well as the entire PA system."
Eddy giggled as Double Dee adopted an expression of anger.
"Alright, that does it," said Double Dee, "I'm out. Playing the pedal steel guitar...fine. Staging a school wide telecast as a means for Rolf to attempt to impress Lindsay...fine. But tapping into the schools communication system is where I draw the line. To think you would even consider violating the sanctity of our beloved Widdle channel, the medium from which we receive all of the important announcements concerning the state of our beloved educational institute. I simply can and will not stand for this."
"Fine, have it your way," said Double Dee, "Try to act like a goodie two shoes all you want, but I know you aren't always the good boy you try to be. Shall we bring up the incident with the janitors closet?"
"Eddy, you wouldn't dare?" asked Double Dee as he placed his hands on his head.
"Maybe I will, maybe I won't," said Eddy, "Either way, it was pretty funny. You got caught with your pants down...literally!"
Eddy began laughing heavily as Double Dee's face began to turn a bright shade of red. As Eddy continued to giggle, Double Dee decided to supply a retort.
"Well Eddy, for your information, I am more than capable of having fun every once in a while," said Double Dee.
"Well then put up or shut up," said Eddy as he pointed towards the stage, "Either way it's the last day of school, what could he possibly do to punish us? Either way, we ain't gonna get caught, there's no way he'll be able to trace the circuit back to here.""
"Fine," said Double Dee as he began wheeling the pedal steel guitar towards the area of the "stage", "But do NOT come crying to me when it is time to face the inevitable consequences."
Eddy watched as his friend wheeled his instrument away with a grin.
"I'm just too good at greasing the skids," said Eddy in a quiet manner.
The small Ed boy was barely able to complete his sentence, for he was suddenly grabbed in a tight squeeze from behind. At the same time, a familiar high pitched foreign accented voice filled the air.
"ED BOY!" yelled the voice of Rolf as he grabbed Eddy's shoulders from behind, "Quickly, has Rolf properly donned these garments of this 'king' you speak of?"
"Well Rolfie boy," said Eddy, struggling to get his words out due to pressure induced by Rolf's squeeze, "If ya let me go, maybe I'll be able to tell ya!"
At the completion of Eddy's statement, Rolf released the stout Ed boy, allowing him to catch his breath. Once he regained his composure, Eddy slowly turned towards his tall friend
Rolf had spent the last twenty minutes in the school boys room, donning a suit provided to him by Eddy. The suit was almost purely white and ornate in appearance, meant to represent those stereotypically worn by Elvis Presley. In addition to his ornate suit, the foreign boy had donned a pair of large sunglasses, and had styled his blue hair into a style reminiscent of a pompadour.
Eddy remained silent for a few moments, quite taken aback by his appearance. Rolf took notice of Eddy's confusion, at which point he adopted a nervous expression.
"Rolf has failed to adapt, yes?" asked Rolf with a melancholy expression.
"No way Rolfy boy," said Eddy, "Ya look good! You're going to knock them dead out there!"
"What is this about knocking those dead," said Rolf, "Rolfs intent is to gain the attention of his Sweet Babushka, and let her know how much Rolf yearns for her affections. Rolf does not understand these garments, but trusts your judgement enough to take part in these shenanigans."
"No sweat Rolf," said Eddy, "I gotchya covered. If ya want to impress the ladies, there ain't nothing like singing them a sweet love song. And as for the duds, I got ya hooked up to look like the late great Elvis Presley. Back in the day, all the babes wanted a piece of the King, and after today, Lindsay will be begging for a piece of the Rolfmeister."
"Rolf still fails to understand," said Rolf, "How is Rolf King if he does not wear a crown?"
Eddy giggled as he placed his arm around Rolfs shoulder and began leading him towards the stage.
"You'll always be King to me Rolfie boy," said Eddy in a playful manner, "Just remember the plan and act just like the guy in all the videos we watched last week."
At that point, Eddy delivered a slight shove to his friend, forcing him out into the path of the main video camera.
"Now get out there and knock em dead," said Eddy, "It's showtime!"