Published: 03/05/21

WARNING! Light explicit content ahead!

Memento Mori Chapter: Noelle

Lament of Lost Souls

Noelle was standing on the bridge of her personal airship, the Burning Rose. It was a large warship, fitted with cannons that used pre-loaded magical canisters to fire beams of concentrated energy blasts at enemy targets. It was also armed with numerous rockets, each one ready to fire at moment's notice. On the balloon was the Mondstadt flag, and on the side of the hull was painted the Constellation of Noelle right alongside the ship's name.

It was a gift from the Grandmaster, as Varka wanted to show Mondstadt's strength to her allies. Her mission, do her best as a diplomatic envoy for the knights at Natlan. An entire company of knights- a hundred and twenty strong -and their commander, Lady Noelle. And yes, she was finally knighted in the aftermath of that slaughter pit, that would be now known as the Battle of Windrise.

She still remembered it clearly, as the bloodstains on her tattered maid uniform and shattered armor pieces were a heavy reminder of how far she had come in her service to Mondstadt, and how deep she had fallen in the gaping hole that is her broken soul. Noelle shuddered, remembering the flying corpses that showered the battlefield- courtesy of her newfound strength. And she couldn't help it.

Noelle was still a maid then, helping many knights in and out of their armor, and all the while making close friends with the many maids that braved the perils of the battlefield. She remembered nursing back to health a young knight with the aid of Josephine. A kind soul to this horrible world, and much gentler than Noelle would ever be. Even when an enemy threatened to take her life, Josephine did no better than accept her fate with a sad smile- a smile that usually brings Noelle joy -that hampered her own. Noelle never smiled as bright ever again.

But that incident didn't falter her stout courage, as Noelle continued helping the other maids. There was another one, Noelle recalled with perfection- to her utter dismay -another maid that has this aura of positivity. What made it better as the maid was a fiance to a knight fighting on the battlefield. Both she and Stella preyed to Barbatos for his safe return. Her friend's air of positivity and joy was infectious- and Noelle couldn't help but let her spirit be smitten at that joyous atmosphere.

That is when his fiance and lover returned. Nothing was left, except his disfigured head. Noelle's bright outlook on life shattered when he saw the fear and horror plastered in his face. What were his final thoughts at the end of his life, she wondered? His comrades shared her sentiment, as they recalled when they witnessed their friend blew up into a million pieces before them. Stella's joyous atmosphere disappeared. One sleepless night later she learned that poor Stella took her own life.

~Trigger Warning~

-Rape Scene Ahead-

Recovering from this tragedy, Noelle noticed a female knight having troubles of her own. She was still sulking when Aryene approached her, asking for assistance. Noelle was hesitant at first but decided to distract herself from her dark thoughts by helping a brave knight. Aryene noticed her defeated look and gave a courageous smile, one befitting a knight like her. "The will to fight is only lost at the moment we give up and stop fighting. As long as we resist, our defeat is never certain."

Noelle's spirit to fight was uplifted at that moment, but after a serious clash where Mondstadt's knights lost the skirmish, many prisoners were captured. Including Aryene. Noelle tried to rush forward to help, but many knights held her back- fearing to lose more in the process. The overwhelming forces of the Unknown Goddess jeered and laughed at their safe side of the frontline- and she saw it clear as day.

As Aryene screamed and yield obscenities as her armor and dress were torn apart by hungry and desperate men. Her screams of defiance turned into horror and dread as dozens of stressed soldiers relieved themselves on her naked form. A lucky few get to taste what a female knight has beneath their breeches. Noelle furiously closed her eyes to hinder those terrible cries, to her luck- and horror-Aryene's screams of help were muted when one of the men decided to subdue her cries by shoving his manhood in her mouth in a desperate attempt to alleviate his stress along with his delighted comrades.

-Scene End-

Noelle lost her smile, then her joy in life, and now her strength to fight? Not even two days have passed, and Noelle felt the utter weight of guilt and sadness. This battle took everything from her- and she swore to take them back. But she didn't.

Instead of taking everything back, she lost more of herself in the process of slaughtering every foe she had met on the battlefield on the final day of the assault. Noelle did not remember how or why she arrived on the frontline, favonius greatsword in hand. No one seemed to notice it- or was lost themselves to do so as the battle ahead was the only thing in their minds.

Fresh on the enemy's mind was the satisfying victory from their last skirmish, that and the joy of pleasure from yesterday's stress-relieving activity, and so arrogance was their stance. Good for Noelle, as the battle started everything was blank. The echoes of screeching flesh and horrid cries of mercy still haunted her. Not because of how horrific the deed she had just committed, but on how she enjoyed every bit of it. The contentment and peace of mind it brought her scared Noelle.

The battle was won, and the war just began.

The Burning Rose had been flying for the last four days, traveling back to Mondstadt. It was only four months ago when she set off to her mission, and two months later Aether arrived, Kaeya and Amber in tow. The brief respite with Amber brought such good feelings back. Months spent trying to convince the Lady of Fire herself, but to no avail. Noelle was ready to give up and help Aether travel to Fontaine to see what the Hydro Archons feels in her stance in this war.

She doubts it, but before they left, Aether had one final talk with the Pyro Archon. He came back with a haunted look on his face. What did the Archon confide in him that would scare the Traveler like that? Noelle would never know, as a fellow knight from Mondstadt arrived with ill news. Mondstadt has fallen.

It anguished her heart, knowing that the sacrifices to liberate and free the city was in vain, as weeks after the Battle for Windrise was over, reinforcements arrived in masse. The city did not last an entire night, as the former Harbinger- Pedrelino the Pillar of Deceit -defeated the Grandmaster within in the Knight's final stand at the Headquarters. Many of the order's most senior members were presumed dead, but Noelle wouldn't believe it without seeing it for herself.

Klee was missing, presumed deceased. Noelle withholds a shiver at the thought of the poor child. What horrors she must've seen, or worse- experienced those horrors?

Albedo was confirmed dead, as he was the officer at the front of the gate when the siege began. Reports indicate that he resisted as much as he could, but the thunder of earth and dust stopped roaring. A sign that proved that the alchemist was defeated.

Sucrose was missing as well, presumed dead along with Klee. No word had gotten out. But Noelle will hold unto hope- whatever remains of it, anyway.

And so, she rushed forth back to Mondstadt, ignoring the pleading looks from Amber and Aether. Kaeya did not stop her but gave her a grave warning. Pedrelino was said to have been the Tsaritsa's most senior and powerful servant, and his Harbinger title was the "Jester." Both she and Kaeya knew that the pillar was anything but a fool, so Noelle must expect heavy resistance. And dirty tricks.

This would be Noelle's first stop, and hopefully, after this was over, her only stop. Her plan was simple, display how powerful her skills were, incapacitate her foes, as killing them was a last resort. Yes, she knew that these were their enemies. Enemies who took delight in killing her fellow countrymen, violating, and murdering them without remorse, but, in her mind, they were soldiers, much like the many loyal Knights surrounding her.

She was scared to be a monster once more.

They were only fighting for what they thought was right, and many of them were somebody's mother, father, little brother, big brother, little sister, big sister, aunt, or uncle. The thought of taking someone's family away from them, and that it was done by her own hand, Noelle wasn't sure if she was strong enough to carry any more of that weight on her shoulders.

She already has done enough. The Battle of Windrise proved how easy it was to take a life. Noelle refused to do so again, especially when she is conscious of her actions this time.

But she needed to be strong. Noelle must fight, as she couldn't protect anyone any longer. Not anymore. Especially not in this blasted war!

"I have to, I must be strong enough. If Jean could do what needed to be done in that Hellscape that was the Liberation of Sneznhaya, then how can I do any less?" she thought. A frown marring her delicate face. Her olive-green eyes blankly stared a thousand yards, lost in the void of her own thoughts.

It was then that Noelle heard the footsteps of an approaching person. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that it was Godwin, garbed in his battle armor and sporting his dual swords.

He was part of Varka's personal squad but was assigned to accompany her during her mission by the Grandmaster. Even as a senior knight and at a much higher ranking, Godwin takes her orders quite seriously. He earned her respect long before the war. A dedicated knight till the end.

Till the very end, indeed. As word reached his ears that his beloved Glory was killed in the ensuing hour of the breach. Well- after being dragged away by Predrelino's troops at an alleyway, and never being seen again. It was a grim factor that Noelle wanted to refuse, but her new pragmatic side convinced her otherwise. No one wanted to talk about it, especially around Godwin.

Noelle admired his grit and determination, but the long ride back to Mondstadt seemed to change Godwin bit-by-bit. He still talked to her on occasion, but only when there was something of importance to discuss. He had lost his sense of liveliness as well, it seems. But still, he keeps that drive to protect as always.

She hopes.

"Captain Noelle, we'll be arriving at the battle line in just a few minutes."

Apparently, Kaeya finds it of importance to promote her to an appropriate rank for her return to Mondstadt. Truthfully, he was now the highest of the ranking officers to whatever was left of the knights. Apart from Lisa, of course, but she was acting independently. And the knights needed a new leader. Kaeya was promptly promoted to Acting-Grandmaster by popular vote, and there was no other senior knight to oppose him. Godwin was promoted as well, but a sense of sadness washed over his face when it happened. It must've been the absence of Glory in his moment of triumph.

"Thank you, and Captain, for now, let's dispense with the formalities and titles. I could really use a friend right now," said Noelle with a sheepish grin.

Godwin gave a strained smiled back at his superior, "Sure, Noelle... How are you holding up?"

"To be honest Godwin, not so good… I've never thought that I had to go to another battlefield. Sure, my friends and I have faced a lot of monsters, evil spirits, and demented villains that wanted to rule Teyvat, destroy it, or whatever, and used my magic on all of them, either to help my friends or to keep that enemy from hurting others. But now though…"

"Now you're going to use it against an enemy that's not exactly any of those things, just a bunch of soldiers following the orders of a whacked-out Goddess, right?"

Noelle nodded. "I guess you've been through this too?"

"First time was a while back when I graduated and became a grunt in the Knights, fought against the Hilichurls during that time that Abyss Mage went mad and tried to invade Springvale. I…I cut down a lot of those soldiers; sometimes I still can't stop seeing their terrified faces when I killed them. They were just desperate and needed food, and I killed them."

Godwin's cyan eyes gaze into her own, "I know you don't want to do this Captain, you should've just had me do it."

Noelle smiled sadly, "Thank you, Godwin. But this isn't something that we should put on you, any of you. You're our brother in arms, and as vision wielders, we protect you from harm, not put you in it."

Godwin lowered his head, frowning. "I wish I understood that…"

"It may not be too late. Who knows? With your bravery and strength, the gods might award you a Vision soon?"

"I…" Godwin sighed, "…Maybe. But right now, we should plan our move ahead. For the future I mean. Glory and I planned and talked a lot, before the expedition that is. I only- I only wish that she was still around to help me find a path ahead. I'm a captain now, but so what? It really wouldn't matter without-"

A look of guilt fell upon Noelle's face. "I'd be lying if I wasn't. But I too am lost on what to do, as I had never thought far into my dreams of becoming a knight. It was a childish dream, I suppose. Yearning for that honor and glory seems so empty now. Without our people to protect, what is the future in the Knights of Favonius? Maybe once the war is over…?"

What would Noelle really do? Mondstadt was gone, and her people scattered ironically like the wind. But... she did enjoy helping other people with their small problems. Baking and cooking seem like her ideal life? Maybe? Truth is, Noelle was blinded by her own efforts of being a knight than thinking about what happens after that? If the war did not happen, maybe she would have just done the same thing, helping other people but this time with the title of a knight.

Was she really that desperate for an empty title? Words don't describe her deed, actions do. And she has been doing it for a long time, putting other peoples' needs before her own. Was there any difference?

Godwin nodded his head, "Yeah…maybe then. So let's make sure to end it here."

"Right," Noelle steeled her eyes, as it was time.

It didn't take long for the Burning Rose to reach Mondstadt. The airship may have been large, but did not lack speed. Mondstadt was the crown jewel of the north, as the City of Freedom was a beacon of hope across Teyvat. But now the city had fallen. Gone were the proud flags of the Knights of Favonius and Mondstadt, now replaced with the black flags and golden crest of the Unknown God.

"Set the airship just outside the city; do not engage unless either Captain Godwin or I give the order. We're here to drive off the enemy, not to endanger the survivors we came to save."

"YES, CAPTAIN!"

I'm never going to get used to that, Noelle couldn't help but suddenly flinch at their response.

Noelle made her way to her personal quarters and prepared for battle. She sighed; she really didn't like this next part. Inside this room were two maids, both bowed before her. With a wave of her hand, Noelle bid them to rise. She then stood at the designated spot and allowed the two maids to start. The two maids brought forth her armor from a trunk that had her constellation emblazoned onto it.

Noelle stood still for this next part, she would've rather done it herself as being an experienced maid, but this was part of what she needed to do, it put her in the mindset of the kind of Knight she needed to be right now. Not just a company commander of a ragtag group of knights, she needed to be a beacon of hope, a light in the darkness, the savior that her fellow country prayed for. When the two maids opened the chest, Noelle almost let out a gasp. She had never seen her knightly armor till now, it was made after her knighthood in secret. Of course, Varka never intended for Noelle to enter the battlefield again, but thought it best to have such armor just in case.

The armor itself was a gilded-white color, polished and gleaming in the light, and trimmed with gold lining only adding to its brilliance. The chest plate bore her constellation, along with the bracers and greaves. With a nod to the soldiers, they began to dress their Captain for battle

The first maid, blond hair in color, carefully slipped Noelle's sleek arms into the bracers, latching them on and making sure that it wasn't too tight but not too loose either. The second maid, blue hair in color, did the same with her greaves on her legs. Noelle shivered from the touch of the cool metal against her pale skin, running up her legs. She missed those black tights, and the maid outfit too. But it felt inappropriate as she was a real knight. Noelle's not a maid anymore.

The two maids then brought forth her chest plate, being very mindful of her bountiful breasts as they adjusted it. The coolness washed over Noelle's body now. Finally, the blond maid placed Noelle's priestess hat onto her head etched with the Favonius emblem, while the blue maid fixed her hair. The two maids stepped back and brought forth a mirror so that she may look upon herself. Noelle was speechless.

Gone was the studious maid and polite young woman. What stood before her was a warrior, a goddess of war. The armor sheened with the slightest movement, her Geo vision seemed to resonate with her armor, giving off an iridescent golden glow. Noelle never knew she could look like this. It was a stark contrast to her image of herself, both as a maid and a gentle person. The thing about it now, was that she possessed the power to match this new image. It was strange; the armor itself was made of special metals that were extremely durable and resistant, but at the same time light as a feather.

So why does it feel so heavy…?

"Lady Noelle, are you alright?" asked the blond maid.

"Did we tie it too tight?" asked the blue maid.

Noelle shook her head and gave the two maids a small smile. "No, you two did great. I just…This is the first time I've worn my new armor, and it's really strange to see myself like this."

"Forgive me, Lady Noelle, may I speak freely?" asked the blond maid.

"Of course."

"You look quite beautiful, like a goddess from ancient times."

"Or a hero from a fairytale," added the blue maid, her eyes young and bright. A sight that made Noelle envious.

"Thank you both. You may return to your duties."

"Yes ma'am!"

Noelle made her way to the Bombay doors. Waiting for her at the platform was Godwin, along with a contingent of Knights, thirteen in all. The knights and Captain Godwin quickly stood at attention, saluting their commanding officer. Godwin took a moment to look over his Captain, noticing just how much the air around her changed. Maybe it was the armor that made her look different, or maybe it was her unlocked Vision power bleeding out from her body, whatever it was, it was clear that his Captain Noelle was ready for battle.

"At ease," she ordered. The clunkiness of her new armor was also something to get used to.

"Captain, we're ready for deployment," said Godwin. His blades were unsheathed and resting on his hands. It seems that he was itching for a fight. Noelle can understand the hard look on the man's face.

"Excuse me, Captain." One of the knights, a brown-haired man stepped forward.

"Yes, Arthur?"

"I was wondering. Would it not be wiser to bring the rest of the troops on board? If we are to retake Mondstadt, I would think a larger force would be more effective."

"Normally you are right Arthur," said Godwin, "But this isn't a normal occasion."

"So the rumors are true then, you are going to attack those bastards yourself, aren't you Captain?"

Noelle nodded. "I will unleash my power upon the Unknown God's soldiers. You fourteen are to stay behind me while I engage in the coming battle. I want to free the city. My hope is that the soldiers will leave the territory once they realize just how far we are willing to go to protect our people. Hopefully, we can win this with as little bloodshed as possible."

The other knights glanced to each other and then back to Arthur, nodding as if agreeing with Noelle's plan. "Very well, we await your orders."

{Alert: We have movement from Mondstadt, armed soldiers and reinforcement forces are amassing outside the city and are preparing to attack.}

Godwin made his way to one of the callboxes and pushed the button below the speaker. "Make sure the Burning Rose is ready to counterattack. They may not have anti-air cannons, but we can't take the risk of the soldiers already having a contingency plan to knock out this airship."

"Let's go," commanded Noelle her voice was hard as stone, leaving no trace of emotion.

The doors opened and a gust of wind blew through the room. The wind felt off somehow, like more dead and void of life. Once the platform hit the ground Noelle marched forward without an ounce of regret. Godwin moved forward well and followed close behind his Captain. The two knights halted a few yards away from the Burning Rose, along with the rest of her escort.

Noelle saw the horde of soldiers heading towards them, she then took in a calming breath and exhaled it. With a fierce and determined look, Noelle called upon her magic, her Geo Vision glowed ominously, and her eyes shined with a terrifying glare.

Grabbing her claymore, Fracta Cordis, an upgraded version of Whiteblind, and slowly infused it with Geo.

The force and power of her Vision made the horde stop in their tracks, buffeting them with the sheer power of the Geo element. Taking this to her advantage, Noelle steadied her blade vertically and released massive amounts of Geo like a beacon. The weight of the blade increased tenfold, but it did not share the same weight as all the responsibilities she carries. The unfortunate folks still trapped in the city, her foes rampaging across her country, and the burden of command easily outweighed the heavy feeling of the blade's handle.

Even as the world around her dissolved into chaos, Noelle's face was set in a mask of perfect serenity.

This was the moment. Too often, she was weak. She had failed so many times and lost so much. The helpless had looked to her for protection, and she had let them all down. In the end, all she had ever achieved was to live to see all she had been apart of fall apart around her, and all who devoted their lives to protect die unfulfilled. She was no hero, no true Knight… just a weak little girl who had never achieved anything, never saved anyone.

The weakness of Noelle melted away, and her eyes opened and gazed upon the horde. There was no pity in them. With a dancer's grace, one foot slipped lightly back to firm her stance. Her arms, already raised, drew back. The light of the sword built to a peak, becoming impossible to look upon, even for her. She stepped forward, and in a surge of power, swung down the sword

With a swift slash downward, Noelle unleashed a shockwave across the battlefield towards her foes. The ground trembled in anticipation, before exploding forth and bring the wrath of earth and heaven towards her foes.

Ranks upon ranks of a thousand soldiers shattered, and bodies left flailing at the sky before their unconscious bodies landed on the ground with a lack of grace. Smoke covered the battlefield. Weapons impaled and broken across the dust.

Noelle, Godwin, and the thirteen knights all waited for a response from the occupying force. The young knight hoped that that was enough to scare them into retreating. Maybe not the territory, but at least the city, she could work on the rest after that. After a minute passed there was a whistling sound that echoed in the air, a dozen or more whistling sounds as a matter of fact.

The fifteen knights looked up into the air as the sun was blotted out with a flood of arrows. Noelle sighed sadly, she had hoped that they would retreat, but now she was left with no choice. With a flash of her vision, they were surrounded by a barrier of magical energy. Much larger and more like a hexagonal dome of Geo energy. The myriad of arrows rained down on the shield, snapping like twigs the moment they made impact. Some of the knights flinched, seeing and hearing so many arrows coming down on them, and yet none of them hit. It took all of thirty seconds before the arrow storm was concluded.

The horde of surviving soldiers charged straight for them, brandishing their spears, swords, and fist as they prepared to take down their opponents. Noelle's blade rose into the air once more as it built up energy. She then whipped Fracta Cordis and created a wave of Geo energy that sped right to the horde. The soldiers stopped in their tracks as they tried to retreat or get out of the way, but it was too late.

The wave struck them like a steel wall, knocking those flying out of the sky, and others on the ground to their backs. A force of five-hundred, all taken down with one move, this was the power of a fully realized Vision wielder. Noelle softly landed the blade's tip back onto the ground and nodded for them to proceed further. Godwin looked back at one of the soldiers and noticed that he was still breathing.

A pity he couldn't finish them off.

He took one good look at Noelle's exposed back, and it was too easy to poke a knife through it. She wouldn't even see it coming, but Godwin would bid his time. Maybe when they finally arrive at the city, surrounded by numerous foes will he finally act.

He could still hear Predelino's proposal, as their last stop at the Gorge, the Jester approached him with an offer could have not the heart to deny. No matter how much he denied the man, and even withholding the temptation to shove his blade to that bastard's throat, the thought of Glory still alive made his training instinct disappear.

Predelino offered to give him back his beloved Glory, well- as mostly intact as he could, and was willing to let them leave the city together and unharmed. The price to pay was Noelle's head.

Swallowing his unease, Godwin reluctantly followed Noelle and the rest of the knights towards the bridge. He knew the moment he passed along the walls Godwin would have to make a choice; Glory's freedom for the price of Mondstadt's people's suffering. Glory wouldn't accept that, even when crippled she still cares for other's well-being.

And so, he must lie to save whom he loves. Godwin would tell the tale that he accompanied Noelle to free the city's trapped residents and failed miserably before Noelle "ordered" him to save Glory and leave. He could only hope Glory would understand.

The Jester laughed when he saw Godwin actually considering his offer, and chuckled at the pathetic prospect of undying love. The monster wouldn't understand, and Godwin's answer would be decided when they finally arrive at the city.

He could only pray for Barbatos' forgiveness, and he may never be forgiven, but for the sake of Glory, he would be willing to let the whole world burn. Damn his knight title. It meant nothing to him.

Not without her.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Here's the list of characters featuring in the Memento Mori chapters:

-Beidou

-Diona

-Barbara

-Mona

-Keqing

-Tartagalia

-Sucrose

-Xiangling

-Qiqi

-Zhongli

-Ganyu

-Hu Tao

-And many future characters!

Memento Mori chapters are quite different from intermission chapters(Aether's dream chapters) as these are characters that Aether did not know what happened with; or what cruel fate awaited them in their final moments. At least he had an idea of Lisa's and Ningguang's end(even from Signora) since he heard that Sumeru fell. He accepted that their deaths were a guarantee. And that haunted him.

There are just so many characters lost or missing during the war, and he was already heavily occupied.

For example, Noelle; Aether admitted that she went missing when she returned to Mondstadt and heard nothing from her. It shows that Aether did not witness or heard from all the character's final moments with his own eyes. And so, I decided to dedicate multiple chapters of characters in their own little stories. Plus, it adds to the world-building. As many things are still apparently vague with Aether's own experience.

It is a short chapter, I know, but I'm still experimenting with some concepts. I'm willing to hear out your thoughts!

Also, would Godwin really give everything up for Glory's sake, or will he succumb to his drive for his empty duty? I'll leave the implications to your own imaginations.

Real explicit contents, indeed.

There are no heroes in this story(except for Aether, but he's still quite occupied, as the siege of Fontaine still has yet to happen that time) and I really liked to explore a character's inner desires.

I don't really know much about Predelino, but I have the feeling that he is like a trickster who gets in people's heads so easily. Like the Joker.

P.S. Fracta Cordis means Broken/Shattered Heart in Latin. It speaks on how much torn Noelle is in that war.