At the parsonage at Hunsford, Mr Darcy expressed his hope that he would now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand.
Elizabeth attempted to keep a straight face. She truly did. But the ridiculousness of the whole performance became too much for her.
'Mr Darcy,' she gasped, before breaking into uproarious laughter. A most improper belly-laugh of epic proportions, which had her doubling over and tears streaming down her face.
The gentleman looked in turn offended and concerned, when the laughter continued. 'Miss Bennet, are you unwell?
Elizabeth waved an ineffectual hand, but exerted herself to control her laughter before she was reduced to hiccups. 'Mr Darcy, I never knew you had a sense of humour. Who, pray tell put you up to this charade? Was it Mrs Collins? I know that she was worried about my depressed state of mind earlier today.'
'This is no joke, Madam.'
At his offended response, another giggle escaped Elizabeth's lips. 'Well played, Mr Darcy. But I know it is a grand jest. Although you aught to be careful. Most women would be taking you at your word, and you would have no alternative but to be shackled for life.'
She suppressed another giggle and wiped the tears off her face. 'I suppose that Charlotte told you it was safe to make such an offer, since she is fully aware that you are the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry. But you were still taking a risk. I commend you for your fortitude in trying to cheer me up.'
'You think my offer of marriage was a jest?'
'Of course it was. I know that I am not handsome enough to tempt you to even dance with; you told me so yourself before we were even introduced. You would never marry such an unattractive woman as myself. My mother has told me often enough that no gentleman would be interested in my meagre attributes.'
Darcy was shocked to be reminded of his insult at the assembly. At the time he felt perfectly justified to squash any expectations those backward fortune-hunters might have. Now he realised that to a young woman, whose mother had told her she would never tempt a man to offer for her, his insult must have been doubly hurtful. Before he could formulate an apology, Elizabeth continued.
'And after we were introduced, you took every opportunity to criticise me and inform me that my accomplishments are lacking, while you have your pick of all the accomplished ladies of the ton. At least you did so, when you actually deigned to speak to me, since most of the time you merely glowered at me and remained mute.'
Even though he had become infatuated with her, he had not wished to raise Elizabeth's expectations. He must have been completely convincing, since the lady apparently had not realised that he could not keep his eyes off her.
'Although I think it rich how you denounce my family, when your aunt's manners are even worse than my mother's. At least my mother acts out of concern for her daughters, to see them taken care of in the event of my father's passing, while Lady Catherine acts purely out of greed.
Darcy had always found his aunt irritating, but he had never considered her manners from an outside perspective. He was now ashamed to think that he had derided Mrs Bennet for her attempts to secure her daughters' future, while he considered his aunt to be merely eccentric.
'Further, since you separated Mr Bingley from my beloved sister, rendering her heartbroken, because according to you, my family was not good enough even for a man whose father was in trade. Although I now believe that you did my sister a favour, since I would not want her shackled to a boy who would blindly follow the wishes of his sisters and friends.'
Had he truly been mistaken about Miss Bennet? Or had he deliberately misinterpreted her reticence, so similar to his own, because he did not wish to risk being in Miss Elizabeth's company, because of his fear that he would be unable to resist her charms?
'Then of course, there is also the matter of Mr Wickham. From the one vague comment you made at the Netherfield ball, it is obvious that you knew about that man's dissolute tendencies. But you never troubled to warn the populace of Meryton of his character. What is it to you that he nearly ruined several merchants, and completely ruined several of their daughters? After all, they are all beneath your notice.'
For a moment he thought that at last here was one issue which he could refute, since he remembered that at the ball Elizabeth had upbraided him about his treatment of the scoundrel. But now it appeared that the town had found out about Wickham's character… the hard way. And he could have prevented this.
Elizabeth was too absorbed in her speech to notice the changing expressions on Mr Darcy's countenance, as she delivered her final blow. 'Charlotte knows full well that I, like Jane, would only ever marry for the deepest love. So, you see, Mr Darcy, I am certain that you could not have been serious in your proposal. Especially since you spoke of anxiety, when in truth you did not feel such an emotion at all. You were quite certain that I would never take this jest seriously.'
Darcy realised that even this statement was correct. He had been certain of his welcome and her acceptance, since he had never considered that any woman could refuse him.
He now had a choice to make.
He could preserve his pride, and agree with Elizabeth that his proposal was a jest. Or he could humble himself, and try to make her understand that he had been serious. Misguided perhaps, but serious in his affection for her.
He looked into those fine eyes, sparkling with good humour, and prepared to speak.
~~~J~~~
Jest (working title) by Sydney Salier, Copyright © 2021