Those Who Are Lost
Chapter 1
Himawari
The Girl Who Lost Herself
Well here it is guys, my last story in my series. I will not be creating any new stories until I have finished some of my current ones which should be updated a little more frequently as I have finished the draft theory for the plotlines for all of them.
Anyway I know that A/N's can be annoying and tedious so I won't keep you from the story any longer.
I present to you the premiere chapter of Those Who Are Lost.
Disclaimer: I do not in any way claim ownership of Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. These are both the rightful property of Masashi Kishimoto, the true Kami of Shinobi.
"HIMAWARI! RUN! RUN AS FAST YOU CAN! DO IT NOW!"
She awoke screaming her lungs out. Her body and her mind burned with such intense agony that she couldn't see or hear anything but pain.
She swore someone was touching her, doing their best to calm her with soothing words but it was all lost in the fire that ravaged her body.
It was too much, the pain was too much and she couldn't stop screaming, why couldn't she stop screaming?
She felt a small pinch in her arm and then the fire stopped and so did everything else.
"HIMAWARI!"
"It's too late. She belongs to us now."
She had one last thought before she sank back into oblivion, away from the pain.
Himawari, is that… who I am?
She woke up and the pain blossomed all over her body once more. This time however, the fire had been replaced with a deep aching sensation that elicited a groan of anguish rather than a scream of pain.
This sensation was new… different in the agony that it induced and she found that she was able to focus her thoughts a little more clearly. But that in of itself had produced an altogether new problem.
There was nothing to focus. There was just a great void in her mind, a sort of blackness where she instinctively knew there should be… something.
In fact there seemed to be only one thing floating around inside of her head.
Himawari.
What a strange sounding word but it seemed so familiar, so controlling. Was that her?
Was she Himawari?
She tried shaking her head to rid herself of these loud ponderings but found that this caused sharp pains in her neck and yet again the agony reaped another groan of discomfort from her lungs.
Why did it hurt so much? And why couldn't she see anything?
It's so dark.
Desperately she tried opening her eyes but the lids remained stubbornly shut, feeling as though there was a great weight resting upon them.
Again she tried, like a parched man reaching for water; she fought against her heavy eyelids, thirsty for the light.
"I see you're conscious again. You are indeed the most stubborn patient I've ever had, girl." The voice came from somewhere to her left and she tried desperately to keep from panicking at this new development.
She wasn't alone in this darkness and for some reason that made it even more terrifying and she didn't know why.
"Stop trying to open your eyes, you're not ready for that yet." The voice continued, male and rough, like sandpaper in its quality. She could feel someone move beside her, heavy footsteps thudding across a wooden floor and then the large hand resting on her forehead, no doubt checking her temperature.
She didn't like this but it seemed all she could do to display her discomfort was to let out a small whimper.
"It's alright girl. I'm a doctor, my name is Kouda and you've been in my care for the past 3 weeks."
She tried opening her mouth to speak but all that came out was a dry crack, no doubt a result of her injuries and not using her throat for anything other than screaming for the entire time she had been conscious here in this place.
Wherever here is.
"Easy there girl! It's been a while since you used your lungs, here drink this." She soon felt cold glass pressed against her lips.
She felt the sensation of cold liquid seeping through to clash against her teeth and she immediately tried to gulp it down as quickly as she could. This 'Kouda' didn't seem to think that this was such a good idea and gently but firmly pulled the glass away.
"Not so quickly. Small sips understand? Now let's try this again." His voice was gruff but with a more subtle, gentler undertone to it.
Again she felt the glass and the liquid against her cracked lips. Resisting the urge to swallow everything all at once, she followed Kouda's advice and drank the water in small but frequent sips, desperate to soothe the raw feeling in her throat. After a minute or so the glass left her lips and she felt better for it.
"Wh-" She tried to say only to let out a dry cough halfway through.
"Where are you? You're in my clinic… which also serves as my home. More specifically you're a few miles away from Kudamono no Machi on the border between the Land of Lightning and the Lands Unknown." The answer was given pre-emptively but efficiently as well, Kouda rattling off the information like he was answering an exam question.
"No." She told him, frustrated that she could say so little still. Kouda for his part fell silent which she took to mean that he was waiting for her to speak, to ask what she really wanted to ask.
"Who… am… I?" She asked, trying with all of her willpower not to cry in front of this man.
Kouda remained silent save for a small sigh and the retreating of footsteps. For a moment she was afraid that he had left and with him, the answer to her question. She couldn't stop a sob of relief from escaping her when he told her quietly.
"I don't know girl… I don't know... the sedative should kick in soon, get some sleep." And with that the footsteps receded further along with the sound of a door being gently closed.
She could feel herself slipping back into oblivion and this time she welcomed it.
I think he drugged the water.
Six months.
It had been six months since she had woken up in complete agony under Kouda's roof and she had learned a lot since then.
She knew that she had been brought to Kouda's clinic on the back of a merchant's cart. That the merchants had thought her dead and knew that Kouda as the town doctor might know her identity so that he may inform the family.
She knew that she nearly gave Kouda a heart attack when he discovered that she was still alive. As well as the fact that she was so severely wounded that the fact that she survived long enough to be healed was by all rights a miracle or two at least.
And lastly she knew her name.
Himawari was the name screamed in her nightmares and that's who she decided she was going to be. It was better than being called 'girl' by Kouda at any rate.
Since her awakening her condition had improved remarkably but she was still a ways off from being considered healthy. Himawari remembered the first time she opened her eyes only to discover that she was missing the one on the right. Kouda told her that he had tried to save the eye but it had been dangling out of her skull for too long and had become infected.
Most of her body had been bandaged and her arms and legs at the time had remained in casts, the result of her bones being broken in multiple places. Kouda informed her that the merchants had found her floating in the river and that if he (Kouda) had to take a guess, he would venture that she had floated downstream after having taken a tumble off of one of the Land of Lightning's infamous gargantuan waterfalls.
And if the numerous lacerations and other wounds covering her body were any indication, then she was also a victim of an attack prior to her little trip over the falls.
Other than that the only other consequence of her circumstances was perhaps the most aggravating to her. She couldn't remember anything about herself beyond her name.
Kouda explained to her that with the kind of trauma she had endured, both physically and surely mentally, this wasn't a surprise.
Today was a beautiful day, she could tell. She woke up to the sound of birds singing in the trees and the sight of a single golden beam of sunlight peeking out from between the small gap in the curtains by her window.
Slowly she sat up in bed, taking care not to move too quickly or make any sharp, sudden movements for fear of injuring herself before she had completed her course of physiotherapy under Kouda's guidance.
Swinging out of bed steadily she got to her feet, placing a hand on the bed's headboard in order to assist and steady her as she did this.
"Breakfast is ready girl!" She heard Kouda call from downstairs, his deep voice booming easily throughout the small two-floor house that served a doubly as his clinic.
"I'll be down in a sec!" she called back. She let a small smile grow on her face as she looked at her legs, peeking out from under her nightshirt, something Kouda had provided for her when he realised how long it would take for her to recover.
"Here." He told her gruffly, all but shoving a pile of clothes into her arms where she lay in the bed.
"You got these for me?" She asked him, her eye widened in shock.
"No… They belonged to my daughter, she's gone now and you seem to be her size."
Her legs, like the rest of her body, were covered in scars; long cuts running down the length of both limbs with a myriad of smaller scars crisscrossing all over the rest of the skin which Kouda guessed were most likely from tripping onto Makabishi spikes or something else similar in design to the caltrops. Up until a month ago, she had been unable to walk without constant assistance.
Shaking herself out of her stupor she moved to the bathroom in order to freshen herself up. Himawari took a quick shower, revelling in the feel of the hot water as it flowed over her body, soothing the aches in her muscles and bones.
Afterwards she found herself in front of the mirror.
The first time Himawari had seen her reflection in the mirror she had fainted from the shock. She looked like she had been through hell and, to be fair, in the beginning she had felt like it too.
Her hair had grown considerably since then. From what she had been told it was originally short, not even reaching her shoulders. Now though, waves of indigo flowed down to just past her shoulder blades with a single lock falling in front of her empty socket.
At least it didn't get in the way as she couldn't see it.
"It's getting cold girl!"
Himawari jumped not expecting to hear Kouda's voice on the other side of the bathroom door.
"I-I said I was coming!" She squeaked back only to hear a small chuckle and the retreating of footsteps. Reaching into one of the sink's drawers she procured an eyepatch and proceeded to affix it to her head.
Smiling to herself in the mirror she gave her reflection a wink before making her way downstairs for breakfast.
Two months later
"You can't keep staying here."
Himawari looked up from her work, tending to the herb garden. Since she had completed her physio a month ago, she had taken to helping Kouda with his work and the upkeep of his estate, he was well past his prime and struggled to do it himself anymore. It was all she could do to begin to repay him for saving her life and providing her with a home.
"Why can't I?"
Kouda, from his comfortable position on the porch's rocking chair, let out a small puff of smoke from his pipe, watching as it lazily rose into the air before dissipating into nothingness.
"Well for starters, I'm too old to be raising a child." To this, Himawari tried unsuccessfully to cover up her soft snort with an impromptu cough. Kouda opened one eye to look at her suspiciously.
"What else?" She asked him in order to cover up her mistake, trying to focus on pulling out dead roots to make room for new ones to grow.
"You may have family out there, looking for you." At this she froze before wringing her hands together agitatedly.
"You're my family." She tried weakly only for Kouda to choke briefly on his pipe before belching out the smoke along with a deep laugh.
"You're a sweet one Himawari! But we both know that's not true. One day, your memories will return and you'll learn who you truly are. Finding your family now can only hasten that day." He told her gently before leaning back in his chair.
Himawari said nothing but stood to her feet, wiping down her hands.
"I know it seems rushed and unfair but I have my reasons for doing this so quickly now that your therapy is complete."
"And what would those be?" She growled, shooting him a glare filled with as much heat as her nine years old eye could muster.
"I know the kind of wounds you suffered all too well I'm afraid. I don't think it was bandits who did this to you." He snapped, clearly ruffled by her accusatorial tone.
"What?"
Kouda let out an annoyed huff and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand.
"It doesn't matter girl, just the ramblings of an old man. Go wash up so we can prepare dinner." He told her, countering her questioning glance with a stern one of his own.
Dinner had never been a quiet affair between the two of them, much to Kouda's chagrin. It seemed that memory loss as extensive as Himawari's came with an overabundance of questions about, well just about everything… or perhaps the questions were just a result of the child's natural curiosity coming into play.
Either way Kouda was sure of one thing: He was definitely getting too old for this.
Dinner, however, had never been as quiet as it had between the two of them that night. They had kept the meal plain and simple; bread and miso soup.
"I don't want to go. This place, you, it's all I know." Himawari whispered, her tone belying the terror he knew she must be feeling. Kouda put down his spoon with a sigh, leaning back in his chair and looking upon her with aged, tired eyes.
"I know girl, I know." He told her with gently.
Turning his gaze to the moon, shining through the porch door's glass panes he turned pensive. The full moon always brought back painful memories with it.
"I was never a good husband… and an even worse father." He began tiredly, hoping that she was paying attention.
"I was a drunk you know… perhaps it was because of the stress of the job? Or perhaps I just loved the bottle more deeply than I did my family." His tone turned bitter as he returned his attention to the girl. He could see the curious look in her eye and knew he should elaborate.
"I didn't always live here. Originally, I served as surgeon for Iwagakure's armed shinobi forces, requisitioned by the Tsuchikage himself from the Daimyo's personal staff for the Great War." Himawari remained silent, her focus solely on him and the food long forgotten.
"The drink… it consumed me, made me angry and I… hurt my wife. My daughter, she was your age, despite everything I did, never gave up on me and was always trying to get me back on my feet." Here he cracked a broken smile in her direction but she gave no indication as to what she thought.
"At least until the day that she did give up on me. I came home early in the morning, having spent the evening at the local bar to find my home empty, all of their possessions gone and a note on my dresser."
"I-" Kouda tried to continue but found that he couldn't. When he felt her hand cover his own he knew he didn't have to. He had spent years looking for them without any success before giving up. He left Iwa shortly after that to settle down in his clinic out here on the borderlands.
"I understand." She told him, moving over to him, embracing him in a hug, trying desperately to keep her silent tears to herself.
"Do you? I lost my family too and I would give anything in this world for the chance to see them again, to make things right but I can't, they're gone now." He asked her softly. When she remained silent he pressed onwards.
"You should at least try Himawari, if not for your sake then for mine? Perhaps if we can find your family then I can find at least some semblance of closure for my failings." It was a lame excuse but it was all he could think to say.
As far as personal tragedies go, his was inconsequential compared to others he was sure. It didn't mean it left him anything other than broken once it had passed.
"Okay." This time, she couldn't have kept her crying in with all the willpower in the world.
A week later they began putting posters up.
Posters of a one-eyed girl with indigo hair and whisker like markings on her cheeks.
Not the most exciting writing I know but I needed to get the ball rolling.
I was afraid of Mary Sue writing this but I kind of needed extensive descriptions of Himawari's character to explain the extent of some of her injuries. I have not seen her in the anime, only in the manga and I think that until a Boruto series comes out in full swing I have a lot of leeway with this character and her personality. It's also why I gave her amnesia and made her older too.
Not sure who will want to know but the inspiration of this fic came from Johnny Cash's song: Hurt, Trailer 1 of Logan and the anime movie; Sword of the Stranger (dubbed).
PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU LIKE IT! REVIEWS MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE! (I know I'm greedy!)
See you guys next time!