*SPOILER WARNING*

This story WILL spoil plot elements from Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon!

*SPOILER WARNING*

*DARK CONTENT WARNING*

This story WILL contain unpleasant topics about depression and suicide/attempted suicide.

Steer clear if you aren't prepared to handle that!

*DARK CONTENT WARNING*

Nuzleaf's Choice

Chapter 1 - Captured

"Ugh…"

Light brown eyelids fluttered open. The black eyes beneath them squinted and blinked as they adjusted to the only light source in the room.

It was far too dark for him to notice any practical detail other than the single flickering lightbulb hanging by a string above him, the rusted cover over it casting a single cone of light on himself while the rest of the room remained dark. What he could make out were four stone walls and a wooden door directly in front of him. His back was pressed against the back of the chair so he couldn't feel the floor with his feet, but from what he could see it looked like concrete. The room looked like some sort of basement or cellar, and judging by the dust he could make out on the floor this particular room hadn't been used in a long time.

Where was he? How'd he get here?

Nuzleaf groaned again as he tried to rub his throbbing head but was met instead with resistance. He tried again. Resistance. He looked down and was mortified to find he'd been completely tied to a wooden chair in a cocoon of red rope.

'What in tarnation!? Why am I tied up? Who tied me up? Is this some sorta kidnappin'?'

He nearly toppled the chair as he jumped from the sound of a nearby snort. His eyes darted over and landed on a Torchic. Its feet were tucked up underneath it as it slept on the floor about five feet from him.

A bolt of fear shot through him as he stared wide-eyed at them. Being bound and alone in a room was unpleasant itself, but to be so vulnerable with someone in the room with him...

Any veteran dungeon explorer would've scoffed at the idea of being afraid of a measly Torchic, but Nuzleaf had been through enough to know how annoying one little pest can be if they rushed off to alert reinforcements.

Plus, there was something about them that told him they weren't an ordinary Torchic. There was a certain...power that radiated from them. Did it come from the strange dark teal and lime green scarf they were wearing? Or was it the Pokemon themselves?

As he stared at them, he frowned and hummed in thought. Something about them felt familiar, but he couldn't recall what. Did he have amnesia? Was it this kid who attacked him? Maybe they were part of some criminal organization holding him for ransom.

'Naw, no way. What kind of criminals would bring a kid into their ranks?'

Before he could stop himself, he entertained the idea that perhaps this was some group's revenge for his past with Dark Matt-

No. He quietly scolded himself.

Now wasn't the time for that.

He needed to identify if this Torchic was friend or foe.

The more he stared at them, the more it irritated him that he couldn't remember who they were. Jeez, what was the kid's name? It felt like it was on the tip of his tongue…

Without even doing anything, the kid was making him irate. He knew it wasn't their fault he couldn't remember (unless it was, he had no evidence that suggested otherwise), but he felt angry all the same. Why couldn't he remember their consarned name!?

'Ugh, this kid never ceases to cause trouble. Hasn't even woken up yet and already Lyra is being super annoying.'

He blinked a few times.

'Lyra…of course! How could I have forgotten Carracosta's kid!? Arceus, I'm the stupidest Pokémon alive!'

"Lyra!"

The Torchic jolted and cried out in surprise as she awoke. With a shake of her feathers and a yawn, her feet pushed out from under her so she was in a standing position.

Nuzleaf mentally cringed. It would've been strategically advantageous to let her sleep longer while he took the time to collect and analyze his thoughts, but the sudden recollection of who she was got the better of him and he'd blurted it out without thinking.

"Morning, Mr. Nuzleaf."

"Morning?" He gaped at her incredulously. How could she be so calm about this situation!? "This ain't some casual neighborly banter we're havin' here. Look at me! I'm tied up! What's goin' on? If you're captured too, why ain't you tied up?"

Lyra looked at him strangely. "What do you remember?"

Nuzleaf huffed in irritation. What did that matter, couldn't the kid see he was tied to a freaking chair? Instead of asking stupid questions, she should be untying him so they could get out of there before the kidnappers…well, to her credit, he didn't know for sure if this was a kidnapping or…what it was, really. For all he knew, he could've been possessed and tried attacking others and they did this to keep everyone safe.

Maybe Dark Matter…no. He pushed the thought away with a firm shake of his head.

Now wasn't the time for that.

It was clear Lyra wasn't going to untie him, so his only option for now was to humor the child.

What did he remember though? He frowned in thought as he tried to think of everything recent.

"Well…you n' Irau came to visit Serene Village for a couple of days, so everyone threw a party to celebrate you guys stoppin' Dark Matter. Yer ol' man decided to attend so he could see ya again, and I offered to finish tendin' his crops for him. I remember he left while the sun was still up, and by the time I finished the sun had set."

The two stared at each other in dead silence. A wave of different emotions flooded the dark/grass type as he slumped in the chair he was tied to.

Relief was probably the most prominent of the emotions. Lyra's presence meant he most likely hadn't been kidnapped, and that whatever this was it likely wasn't as dangerous as he'd thought.

Lyra was one half of the famous, heroic duo known as the Evergreens. This little Torchic had shown tremendous bravery and skill when Dark Matter, a dark entity that possessed or turned nearly every Pokemon to stone, almost made their planet collide with the sun.

That horrid event would've destroyed everything and everyone. If not for Lyra and Irau...

Nuzleaf shuddered.

He'd been among the Pokemon who were possessed by Dark Matter, but he personally felt like he was more responsible for what happened beyond his own possession.

Then, there was Irau.

Irau.

He frowned as he looked at the ground.

That poor...poor Chikorita.

Irau wasn't a typical Pokemon. She was originally a human who fought alongisde the Pokemon Mew to put a stop to Dark Matter's schemes. To thwart the Evergreens, Irau was turned into a Chikorita and her memories were wiped by the Beheeyem, another group of Pokemon possessed by Dark Matter. Mew had fought Dark Matter in the past and sent its soul to this generation to be reborn as a Torchic, and the two were separated.

From what he understood, Irau had also fought Dark Matter in the past, but Mew wiped her memory to prevent past mistakes from being repeated in their time. Apparently, it was afraid Irau would somehow remember her previous life? He wasn't too sure about that bit of information. It was too confusing for him to wrap his head around.

For a while, Nuzleaf had posed as a father figure to lure Irau up Revelation Mountain and have her break the barrier protecting the Luminous Water - the only substance capable of returning a Pokemon from being turned to stone. The barrier could only be destroyed by a human, and...

Well, he'd done it.

Despite Irau and Lyra reuniting (kind of, neither of them remembered each other) in Serene Village, he thwarted them. Concocted and carried out a plan so nefarious that it would permanently remove Irau and Lyra from their world and Dark Matter would be free to do as it pleased.

The Evergreens had been turned to stone, and he thought he had won.

He mentally chuckled. How foolish they were to think Irau's soul would stay in the Voidlands and wander aimlessly like the rest of the Pokemon they'd cursed.

The child was quiet and demure, but there was nobody more determined.

His betrayal and her own petrified state weren't nearly enough to deter her from accomplishing her own goals. She and Lyra somehow undid their curses, stomped him, Yveltal, and the Beheeyem into the ground, and did away with Dark Matter.

They were heroes.

Maybe that's why he was tied up. Maybe Lyra and Irau had decided the world would be safer if he weren't in it.

He wouldn't blame them.

'Ugh, consarn it, man! Banish those blasted thoughts fer now, and focus on what she'd asked ya.'

Lyra waited patiently for him to continue. He simply shook his head.

"Sorry. Other than...y'know, everythin' from Dark Matter days, don't remember nothin' else."

Truthfully, he remembered Carracosta being irritated that he didn't plan to join them after his work was done, but that wasn't something Lyra needed to know. If he told her, he feared she'd ask why he didn't want to attend, and that would lead to a subject he desperately didn't want to talk about. It was neither appropriate nor relevant to their current situation.

Lyra sighed as she stared at the ground. Her right foot slid across the ground and despite the terrible lighting he could tell that she was drawing designs in the dust with her tiny talons.

Nuzleaf rose an eyebrow at her. She didn't look like a Pokemon who'd achieved temporary full evolution and fought alongside a Meganium as a Blaziken against Dark Matter, but...a child who was struggling to talk to an adult.

This kid...

He allowed her a moment of silence before clearing his throat, effectively regaining her attention. "So, reckon you fill the blanks in for me? Or do you not remember either?"

She shook her head immediately. "No, I remember. Just not sure if I should tell you…"

"What…?"

"It might be for the best if you don't know."

"Oh, come on," he groaned with a roll of his eyes. "What harm could it possibly bring?"

"Well…" The child frowned as she looked off to the side and shifted uncomfortably. "It's just…"

He sighed quietly as her sentence drifted into uncomfortable silence. She looked around rapidly as she struggled to find words, and he tapped his foot against the leg of the chair as he waited semi-impatiently. Couldn't she at least untie him while they struggled to socialize? Unless she couldn't for some reason.

"Reckon you could untie me while we're chattin'?"

She shook her head again while keeping her eyes glued to the ground. "Can't."

"Why not?"

She frowned again as she searched around for the right answer. When she saw he was getting impatient, she settled on, "Just can't. Pops says I can't."

"You saved the world, kid," he retorted with a snort. "Yer pops can't tell you to do nothin'."

"Let me rephrase. Pops suggested that we keep you tied up until we're sure it's safe to untie you."

"…Safe to untie me? What'd I do?"

Awkward silence again, though this time Lyra muttered an irritated, "Crying out loud, why'd he have to wake up during my shift?"

As Nuzleaf continued to stare at her expectantly, Lyra's eyes remained glued to the ground.

'They tied me up because they felt it'd be safer?' He thought to himself with a frown.

The months following Dark Matter's defeat had been...strange. As the world struggled to recover from almost being destroyed, he'd been struggling to find his place in it. He'd settled on staying in Serene Village because he doubted other places would welcome him. The villagers weren't exactly...quick to warm up to him, but they didn't reject him either. They mostly stayed out of his way, with a few exceptions, and he was more than content to stay out of theirs.

However, the entire time he'd been living there he'd never been accused of being dangerous. A few Pokemon may have actively avoided him, but nobody had outright confronted him or admitted that they felt threatened by him...not to his face.

He bared his teeth as he glared at the floor.

'Fine. Reckon if folks don't feel safe havin' me in the village, I'll just leave. This little debacle seems a might...unnecessary. Coulda just told me and I woulda left without a fuss.'

Still, part of him felt angry. If anyone had a problem with him, they could have at least talked to him before deciding to go this route. He wasn't an unpredictable monster (anymore, he added bitterly) so it wasn't like he was unapproachable.

He looked at Lyra and...it dawned on him.

This wasn't a case of folks feeling like they had to kick him out. Not over Dark Matter's actions.

If it were, Lyra would've merely told him so. And she said it'd been Carracosta who'd suggested tying him up.

Of the village Pokemon, Carracosta had been the one to eagerly accept his return right off the bat. The large water turtle Pokemon was overjoyed to have him return as a legitimate, genuine neighbor. He'd vouched for Nuzleaf's reform after volunteering to watch his behavior for a month, and had insisted on taking any responsibility if he'd acted out of line.

If folks felt like he was dangerous, Carracosta would always be nearby to put their minds at ease.

But then...what was it?

Why was he bound? What did he do?

At this point, being bound to the chair was really getting on his nerves. It wasn't comfortable, and it felt unfair for them to imprison him like this without so much as an explanation. If Lyra couldn't free him for whatever stupid reason, he'd simply do it himself!

Nuzleaf struggled to use one of his moves on his restraints. "Consarn it! If ya ain't gonna release me, I'll release myself!"

"Stop that! Don't make me get Pops, he'll make you sit through one of his lectures!"

His movements ceased immediately as he glared at the Torchic. Carracosta was notorious for his brutal and lengthy lectures. Whatever he did, Nuzleaf knew he'd never hear the end of how stupid it was.

"You wouldn't dare…!"

"Try me."

He growled in irritation as he ceased struggling and slumped in his restraints. To say the situation wasn't ideal was an understatement. Even when he'd done stupid things as a child, he'd never been imprisoned for them. He'd never been restrained. He felt vulnerable and trapped and…and…

Hopeless.

'Is this how Irau and Lyra felt on Revelation Mountain when I betrayed-'

He let out a quiet growl and would've bashed his head against the back of his chair had Lyra not been staring so intensely at him. He hated himself for constantly thinking back on those awful things he did.

Now wasn't the time for that.

He had to figure out what happened, and Lyra wasn't helping things. At least if Carracosta was lecturing him he'd find out what happened rather than sitting here in awkward silence.

"If ya ain't gonna tell me, go get someone who will."

"Nobody else is available, I'm afraid."

"Great, so I'm stuck with some kid who's too afraid to tell me what terrible thing I did to deserve being tied to a chair."

"I'm not afraid to tell you, I just…don't know how."

He rolled his eyes as he stared at the floor. Irritated though he was, he knew it was unfair to lose his temper at Lyra. She was only trying to help and taking his anger out on her was neither helpful nor necessary. Perhaps he should just accept that he'd done something horrible that warranted wiping his memory and leave it at that rather than pressing the issue. It was clearly making the kid uncomfortable. Maybe that should've been for the best.

And he wasn't stuck with just "some kid" as he'd called her – he was stuck with Irau's best friend, and most trusted companion. One half of the Evergreens – the duo that singlehandedly saved the world!

Honestly, there were worse candidates to have been stuck with.

"How's Irau?"

Lyra didn't answer. Her eyes were still glued to the ground, perhaps in contemplation. Her silence unnerved him - Irau was the quiet one. Lyra was notorious for being mouthy.

"Lyra."

No answer.

"Lyra don't ignore me. I asked you how Irau is."

The small Pokémon stomped her foot on the ground in irritation, much to his surprise. When's the last time he'd seen her angry?

"In shambles, Nuzleaf! Irau is in shambles because the Pokémon who she loves like a father…"

She huffed as she started pacing, letting her sentence drift off and her eyes fall back to the floor.

'Arceus…whatever I did, it sure has Lyra in a tizzy. And for it to have put Irau "in shambles" it must've been pretty awful.'

Nuzleaf chewed his bottom lip. He knew that might be underselling the situation a bit. Lyra wasn't really the type to get angry. If anything, the child was more likely to make others angry because of the shenanigans she got into. She was the "act first, think later" type of Pokémon, and for her to be taking this much time thinking about her responses before spouting them seemed a little…unnatural.

He frowned as he thought back to when he first brought Irau to Serene Village. Discovering Lyra had ended up there as well made him apprehensive, but he didn't have a choice. Serene Village was the closest habitable area to Revelation Mountain, and getting Irau up there was essential.

When the human-turned-Chikorita first started hanging around Lyra, he'd been apprehensive. Not only was he afraid they might trigger each others' memories and remember who their enemies were, but he knew Lyra's antics would draw unwanted attention their way even if things went smoothly. Irau might've even landed in situations that put a dent in his plans…

Luckily, it never really came to that. The only situation he'd been worried about was when she left with Lyra to join the Expedition Society, but even that proved more helpful than he'd anticipated. With her out of the house, he was free to let his guard down and operate more freely rather than checking in with her every night. And when the time was right…

Had he known things would turn out this way, his possessed self might've intervened and stopped the Chikorita child from hanging around Lyra. Part of him wondered how different things might be now if he had.

How much more ruined things might be-

'CONSARN IT, NUZLEAF!'

Lyra stopped moving. She stared at the ground for a bit before spinning to face him, her normally mischievous expression replaced with a grim dark one.

"Nuzleaf, you…you tried to kill yourself."

He stared at her in complete silence, dumbfounded. He couldn't believe what he'd heard.

'No way. There's no way she's tellin' the truth.'

But like high tide carrying away a seashell, the memory crashed down into him and carried him into his sea of emotions.

He remembered every thought and sensation he'd experienced - Carracosta leaving for the party, thinking about Irau and Lyra as he pulled weeds, thinking about his fights with them as he harvested the Oran Berries, remembering the dark thoughts Dark Matter made him experience as he watered the Pecha Berries, feeling a strong wave of depression wash over him as he tilled the last field and prepped the seeds for planting, and then looking over at the garden hose Carracosta used when his Moves were running low, and said neighbor's stump at the top of his house, and then…

"Uhhhghh…" He felt like slamming his head onto a desk or a wall. His stomach felt like it dropped to his feet as dread made sweat creep down the side of his head. He'd have a lot of talking to do before he'd be released. He wasn't sure if Lyra was the right person to be talking to about these sorts of subjects, but she was his only option.

However, Lyra began shooting questions at him before he could even get a word out. What was he thinking? Why did he attempt that? Was he that unhappy? Didn't he know how that would affect Irau? What if one of the village kids had come along and seen him? Why Carracosta's house? Did he even realize how lucky he was to still be alive?

Part of him felt relieved - this was the Lyra he was familiar with. Hyperactive, obnoxious, loud.

Chatty.

He suppressed the urge to groan again as he waited patiently for her to finish. He had a long whatever time of the day it was ahead of him.

A/N: Well, anyone still waiting on that On the Run sequel? Yeah, that's on hiatus because the computer I had those files on freaking crashed and lost everything.

Now, before you all utter a collective groan, allow me to lead the charge of disappointment because that's over two months of work thrown out the window. I tried scavenging what I could through OneDrive, but...yeah. Nada.

Frustrated and creatively drained, I decided to take a break from typing stories for a bit (maybe I'll go back to that project sometime, right now I just need to be away from it) for a few months before I decided to make this story.

For clarity, I'm leaving it up to the reader's interpretation if anything in this story happens following the events of Lingering Guilt, I didn't really intend to have the two stories work in tandem but if you want to think they're connected I won't stop you. I kinda intended Lingering Guilt to be its own stand alone sort of thing.

Now, since this story DOES contain the topic of suicide, I feel like it'd be a disservice not to include this.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

If you're reading this, are struggling with depression and are considering suicide, please please get help.

Things will get better.