Quick disclaimer before we start. Please be advised, this chapter contains the ingestion of bodily fluids that should, under no circumstances, be ingested. I mean, it's technically fine going down the first time, but the second? No thank you. In any event, I sincerely apologize ahead of time, and you may wish to skip this one to preserve your sanity. Lord knows I lost mine a long time ago. Also, does it really count if it's Quirk-related and probably not technically the bodily fluid in question? Eh, better safe than sorry.

I don't even know why I made this.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a therapy appointment to set up. Toodles!

SKITTLES

The moment Izuku shot the mecha-hydra, the force from his plasma projectile slammed him through a brick wall. The side of his face slammed on stone, wrenching his head aside. Undeterred by the damage he had taken, Izuku shoved his way out of the rubble.

Iida rushed over to where Izuku had landed. To his relief, his future classmate stood and stretched his arms.

"Most excellently done, fellow student! Your plan was flawlessly executed, and I am honored to have been a part of it!"

Ochako and the others arrived next. She pointed in horror at Izuku and said, "Your head's backwards!"

Izuku looked down and saw his own backside. "Ah. One moment please, I shall recalibrate my neck's rotation.

Seizing his head with both hands, Izuku wrenched his own head aside with a sickening snap. Turning back around, Izuku rolled his neck and said, "Recalibration complete. Thank you for providing feedback on my hardware issue."

Iida gasped and said, "My word! You should have left such a grievous injury to a professional medical expert!"

The others covered their mouths, turning green. Ochako ran aside and vomited rainbows on the ground.

Kaminari, wobbling on his feet and giving everyone a vacant expression, meandered up and said, "Hey guys, where'd that giant lizard go? I wanted to touch it."

He noticed the rainbow puddle on the ground. "Ooh, what's this stuff?"

Before anyone could stop him, Kaminari dipped his fingers in the puddle and licked it. "Mmm… tastes like skittles!"

Iida's mouth flapped open and shut, as if he were giving a stern lecture, but not a whisper of air left his throat. Izuku stared nonchalantly, blissfully unaware of the horror unfolding before him. The others buried their faces, too embarrassed to give Kaminari a much-needed reality check.

Ochako stared back and forth between Kaminari and the vomit he had just tasted. Her cheeks bulged, then she vomited another torrent of rainbows at Kaminari's feet.

Kaminari looked at the vomit, then his fingers, then Ochako, then back at the vomit. As fried as his brain was, it eventually gathered the disparate facts, compiled them in a semi-coherent report, and announced them before an assembly of the few functional neurons he still had rattling around his skull.

Kaminari licked his fingers again, still struggling to come to terms with the reality unfolding around him. Sato sprinted away, struggling to keep down his own breakfast. Iida's face turned blue as his lungs stopped functioning. Ochako gave Kaminari a bewildered stare before vomiting a second batch.

This time, Kaminari's eyes widened with shock. He wiped his fingers on his shirt, backed away from the puddle, and tried to scrub his tongue with his hands.

Watching the chaos unfold, Izuku asked, "Should I sample some of the strange liquid as well?"

Iida's eyes rolled into his sockets, and he collapsed. Ochako gave one last dry heave before joining him.

Staring at his own hands in horror, Kaminari said, "I'm never using my Quirk again."

499