Six weeks after Promised Day…
Ed couldn't help his amused grin as he listened to Alphonse chattering away excitedly as he wheeled his brother to the room his doctors had set up to start Alphonse's rehabilitation to get him up and walking once more. Ed had been nervous when Doctor Overland had first revealed that he thought Al was healthy enough to move on from the exercises he'd been doing on his bed to build his muscles back up. His worry must've shown more obviously than he'd thought it had because the doctor had gone on to explain that ordinarily it would've been a few more weeks, if not a couple of months before they tried to start the next stage of rehabilitation for someone who had been in Al's condition but the aide of Mei's alkahestry had sped the process up so much that Overland was confident that Al's body could handle the stress. He had then emphasized that it would still be a long process for Al and that the Elric's shouldn't take this to mean that Alphonse would be ready to be released from the hospital any time soon. Al and Chester's pouts had caused Ed to laugh at them both, easing his worry a bit more.
"What do you think the doctor will have me doing, Brother?" Al's question brought Ed back to the present and he hummed as he, Al, Chester, and Ayala made their way down one of the hallway's.
"Well, once Granny had cleared me to walk after getting my automail limbs put on, she had me walking from one side of the bed to the other a few times a day for a few weeks," Ed reminded him. "I reckon the doc will have you doing something pretty similar," he told him.
Al sighed lightly but nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right," he said, sounding a little morose.
"You've been told by every medical professional who's seen you that this was going to be a long process. You knew it was possible that you wouldn't have even been at this stage until ten or more weeks after you'd been admitted," Ed reminded him.
"Yeah, I know, Brother," Al grumbled as they passed one of the nurses making her rounds and nodded to her politely. "I just hate being stuck in that bed. I'm so bored of doing the same thing over and over again and having to rely on someone wheeling me around or using Chester's sight just to get a change of scenery," he complained.
"I am fully aware of the irony of me saying this but you need to listen to your doctors, Alphonse," Ed told him, getting raised brows from both Animals. Scowling at them and getting chuckles for his troubles, Ed turned back to Al. "You needed to build up your muscles since they'd atrophied so much while in Truth's dimension because if you'd tried walking straight away, you would've severely hurt yourself and pushed your recovery back weeks at the very least," he informed his brother.
"I know, I know," Al said, sighing once more.
"I can't believe you are the one telling Al to listen to the doctors' advice. It feels wrong to hear those words coming out of your mouth," Ayala teased as she trotted next to Chester.
"Rude as fuck," Ed told her, flipping the golden wolf off as he turned Al's wheelchair so they could enter the room they'd been told to go to.
"Be nice to Ayala. She's only saying the truth," Al smirked, looking over his shoulder so he could catch his brother's eyes.
"I hope you know that I'm keeping count of every time you sass me so that when you're stronger I can pay you back for them," Ed told him, grinning when he saw the brief flash of fear in Al's eyes.
"Bring it on," Al said, a mischievous but serious glint in his eye now.
"Please don't start your shit before we've even met the rehabilitation doctor," Ayala asked, voice long-suffering as they headed further into the room that was empty of people and Animals other than themselves.
"I feel like it's always better if someone understands what we're like from the get-go so they can prepare themselves for it rather than being shocked at a later date," Ed told her, getting an eyeroll in response.
"That's actually a very good idea," Chester said as he laid down on the cool floor next to Al's wheelchair.
"You could sound less surprised," Ed scowled at the leopard, causing Al to laugh at them both.
Ed used the opportunity of the doctor not being in the room and Al's attention being on Chester rather than his brother to take in Al's condition now. Even though he could barely stand without support, Alphonse looked a far cry healthier now than he did six weeks ago. When Ed had first laid eyes on Al after Truth knocked him unconscious in order to take Chester's energy and give it back to Alphonse since he had his flesh body back, Alphonse had been little more than a skeleton covered in skin. His face had been gaunt and sunken in while his limbs were so thin that Ed had initially had a moment of fear that he'd break his little brother's fingers if he gripped them too tightly. Now though, Alphonse had definition back in his face and he'd put on almost half the weight he needed to in order to look healthy. Rather than resembling a skeleton with skin, he now looked like he just needed a good feed or three to get him back to an ideal weight.
Of course, the hospital couldn't take all the credit for Al's quick recovery. For the first month after Promised Day, Mei had stayed in Central and visited Al every day to help him recover with alkahestry. Of course, she couldn't stay in Amestris for forever and ended up having to go back to Xing after four weeks but she had promised that she would hurry back to Amestris if Alphonse's condition worsened and they needed her help. Jerso and Zampano had both taken up Grumman's offer to go to Xing and act as temporary diplomats on behalf of Amestris and they'd promised to help Mei get back to Amestris safely if they called for her. Hearing Mei wouldn't be crossing the Great Eastern Desert with just Xiao-Mei as her only companion had had Alphonse relaxing in an obvious manner while Ed had simply breathed a sigh of relief before he gave the Xingese princess his word that if Al's condition deteriorated, he'd send for her.
The sound of the door they'd entered through opening and closing once more got the four of them looking over at it and watching as the person who'd entered headed straight for them. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you arrived. I was reading over your medical reports and finalising the rehabilitation plan for you," the woman said as she approached. "My name is Doctor Kaylee Thomas and I'm the occupational therapist assigned to your recovery," she introduced herself.
"Hi, I'm Alphonse Elric and this is my Animal, Chester," Al said immediately, giving Doctor Thomas a smile as he gestured to his leopard, "and my brother, Edward, and his Animal, Ayala," he said, finishing the introduction.
"It's a pleasure to meet all of you," Doctor Thomas said with a kind smile. Ed took in her appearance as she continued speaking. She was maybe around Mustang's age with black hair pulled back into a ponytail and blue eyes that sparkled kindly. Ed couldn't see an Animal with her and that had him wondering whether Animals were even allowed in this room and if they weren't, why no one had told them so they didn't bring Ayala or Chester with them. "Now, I know that Doctor Overland has told you that this stage of rehabilitation is so we can get you back on your feet so you don't have to rely on that wheelchair but I need you to understand that this won't happen overnight," Doctor Thomas said, stressing her words slightly. "Our aim is to have you walking under your own steam within a month of starting this stage but please understand that I would count it as a very successful session if you're able to walk five steps at a time with the aide of the walking bars," she explained.
"Doctor Overland warned me that it wouldn't be a quick process," Al told her and she gave him an understanding smile.
"I'm aware but I always like to start my first meeting with my patients reminding them that this won't be quick and it won't be easy," she told him gently. "I expect you to get frustrated and angry numerous times during our sessions together and I want you to understand that that is a normal part of the process. I will be with you every step of the way during this and I will be entirely honest with you throughout everything. I'm not the kind of person to sugar-coat my words with my patients because I believe that does more harm than good in most cases and I am telling you that this process will be harsh, it will be gruelling, it will be exhausting, and it will make you feel frustrated and angry with yourself, me, and everyone else around you and all of that is completely normal," Doctor Thomas said firmly.
Ed found himself admiring the woman much more than he had been a minute ago and he felt his admiration reflected in both Animals. "I appreciate that, Doctor Thomas," Al said honestly.
"Oh, I like this doctor. I think she'll be wonderful for Al," Chester said, eyes on the raven-haired woman in front of them.
"Same here," Ed agreed, using their bond to do so before he asked the only question not related to Al's recovery he wanted to ask. "Are Animals allowed to be in here?" he asked the doctor bluntly.
She looked mildly surprised he did before she nodded. "Of course," Thomas told him. "We encourage the Animal being with the patient so that they can support their human with the rehabilitation process," she said. "Why do you ask?"
"Yours isn't here," Ed said simply and a flash of understanding passed across her face.
"Oh, my Animal spends some of my shifts in the area where the doctors and nurses Animals stay since he's friendly with a lot of them," Doctor Thomas told him. "He'll join me sometimes but for today, he's decided he's going to be there," she explained.
"What type of Animal is he?" Al asked curiously.
Doctor Thomas smiled at him. "Jake's a carpet python," she told him and Ed felt a flash of surprise pass through him.
The first thought upon hearing that Doctor Thomas' Animal was a snake he had was that the doctor reminded him nothing of General Armstrong – with the obvious exception being the fact that both were women – before he berated himself for it. He didn't know how many times he needed to be shocked that someone had an Animal similar to another person he knew without having any obviously similar characteristics to stop being surprised for it. Feeling both Ayala's and Chester's amused judgement, he flipped them both off and tuned back into the conversation Al and Doctor Thomas were having.
"Today we'll be starting you off on the walking bars," Doctor Thomas was saying, gesturing to the parallel bars that stood at waist height and were roughly fifteen or so steps long. "Now, Doctor Overland and Doctor Grainger have detailed in your medical reports the exercises you've been doing while bed-bound in order to build up your muscles," she said. "I'm happy with the progress you've made with them but I need to know how you think you're going," she told him, eyes watching him earnestly.
Al seemed to contemplate her question before he answered. "Well, I have been getting really sick of being confined to my bed," he told her. "The exercises were really hard and exhausting to start with but now I'm finding them boring so I don't think they're vigorous enough for me anymore," he said and she gave an unsurprised nod. "I haven't tried walking unaided yet but Doctor Overland did encourage me to start trying to stand. I haven't been able to stay on my feet for more than fifteen seconds without becoming too sore and tired," Al relayed. "Other than that, I don't know what else I can tell you," he admitted.
"He could tell her about the numerous times he almost gave the three of us heart attacks because he pushed himself too hard, too soon," Chester grumbled.
The flash of guilt in Al's eyes was enough to tell Ed that Chester had been speaking to his brother as well as himself and Ayala. Making sure Ed could see him do so, Ed nodded in agreement to the leopard's words. Though Al had been good about following the doctors' orders to the letter for the first few days, he had been showing the legendary Elric impatience and stubbornness that both boys had in spades and tried to push himself more than he was capable of in a bid to quicken his recovery process. Ed had sworn at him when he'd almost passed out from exhaustion after pushing him so hard and made Chester promise him to tell him when Al was going to do his exercises so Ed could be there to keep an eye on him. Al hadn't liked the fact that his brother and Animal had ganged up on him but both Chester and Ed had firmly told him to deal with it because it was happening. Half of Ed's nerves about Al starting the next stage of physiotherapy was because he was terrified his younger brother would try pushing himself too hard again and suffer worse than exhaustion.
Doctor Thomas nodded at his words, apparently not noticing the flash of guilt in her patient's eyes caused by Chester's comment. "That's all I needed to know really," she told him. "I've devised a training regime for you to use on the days where we don't have appointments together. For the most part, they are exercises you can do whilst lying in bed or sitting but they'll be more taxing than what you're currently doing, which will obviously help you with building up your condition once again," she explained. "The exercises will also help you with the physical therapy you undertake during your sessions with me so if you don't do them, I'll know and you'll prolong your recovery," she warned him.
Al nodded in understanding while Chester gave the doctor a look that silently promised he would be on Al's case if he tried slacking off. "How often will we have sessions together?" he asked.
Doctor Thomas blew out a harsh sigh. "Ideally, with you in the condition you are, I'd be working with you every day for a couple of hours," she told him, giving him an apologetic look. "However, Promised Day caused thousands of injuries in Central alone and my department has been stretched far thinner than we have been since the Ishvalen Civil War trying to help those who need physical therapy," she explained. "Right now, all I can commit to is three times a week with you. Once my case load has lightened, I should be able to increase those sessions if we need to. That," she said before Al could speak, "is the main reason why the second training regime I give you will be so important," she said.
"I understand," Al promised her and the doctor gave him a smile before she turned to Ed.
"Will you be joining him for his sessions? I'd like to know whether I can include you in any exercises that need a second person to assist me in supporting him," Doctor Thomas asked.
"I should be unless my arsehole of a boss tries to send me on missions outside of Central," Ed told her, immediately earning a sigh from Al and a confused look from the doctor.
"Stop calling General Mustang an arsehole and you know he promised you that he wouldn't be sending you away from Central until I'm released from hospital unless it was a life-or-death mission and literally no one else but you could go," Al scolded him. "Nala even promised she'd take a chunk out of him if he tried," he reminded Ed.
"You're military?" the doctor asked before Ed could say anything, a surprised look on her face that shocked the brothers.
"Yeah?" Ed said, looking a little unsure of what to do. It had been years since he'd come across someone who didn't know his name and what his job was. The news that he'd been part of the team crucial to putting a stop to Promised Day had been headlines in every newspaper and the topic of every radio news story for literally weeks after Father had been defeated. "I'm a State Alchemist," he told her before she could ask.
Recognition flashed in her eyes as she connected his job title with his name. "You're Edward Elric!" she said, face flushing with embarrassment at the fact that she hadn't realised that. "I'm so sorry, I never made the connection when I heard your name," she told him. "It's been so hectic around here that the only way I hear about anything happening in Central or Amestris is through gossip in the hospital and I barely listen to it as it is," she explained.
"Don't worry about it," Ed told her, flapping his right hand dismissively. "I'm not hung up on my title or rank," he said. "Seriously," he said when she didn't look overly convinced that he didn't care, "I give zero shits about my rank in the military or really anything to do with my job outside of missions," he swore to her.
Doctor Thomas relaxed with his promise. "I am sorry though. Usually I'm much better at making these sorts of connections," she said, a slightly self-deprecating smile on her face. "Who's Nala, though?" she asked curiously.
"My commanding officer's Animal," Ed told her.
Doctor Thomas' brows raised slightly in disbelief. "And she threatened her human if he tried to give you a mission outside of Central?" she asked, eyes flicking between the two brothers as Ayala and Chester watched the scene with amusement.
Ed couldn't blame her for her disbelief. Most Animals wouldn't threaten their humans with bodily harm in any situation and it was even more unheard of for the Animal of a soldier's commanding officer to threaten their human on behalf of that soldier, mainly because commanding officers or their Animals weren't supposed to be close enough to their subordinates or their subordinates' Animals for their Animal to be that protective. "Yeah," he said simply, feeling Nala's own amusement through their bond as he relayed what was happening to the lioness.
Doctor Thomas looked like she wanted to ask for the reason why Nala had threatened Mustang on Ed's behalf before she decided to drop the topic so they could use the time she had booked with Al for the actual reason for the session rather than to satisfy her curiousity. "Alright," she said, visibly pushing away her curiousity as she nodded to Ed. "Please let me know as soon as you're able if you can't make it to one of Alphonse's sessions," she requested. "I have him booked in to see me every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday," she said before Ed could ask.
"Will do," Ed promised. "If I forget to do so, Chester will have Al tell you," he added, giving the leopard a look that had him rolling his eyes but nodding.
"Wonderful," Doctor Thomas said, clapping her hands lightly. "Now then, let's get started with what we're going to do today," she said, eyes shining with positivity as she gestured for Al and Ed to follow her. "We'll start with finding out your current limits, as discussed previously, before we move on to the walking bars, okay?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at Al, who was now being pushed by Ed once more.
"Sounds good to me, Doctor Thomas," Al said, eyes glittering with a determination that had Chester both proud of his human and a little worried that he might do something stupid. The leopard didn't say anything but made a note to tell Ed about his worries as soon as he could so the older Elric could help him make sure his human didn't hurt himself by doing something idiotic during his rehabilitation sessions.
Ed's head cocked slightly towards the end of Al's fourth physical therapy session with Doctor Thomas. As promised, she'd seen his brother on the Friday, Monday, and Wednesday following her first session with him for three hours each time. Though Al had been warned about how hard and slow his recovery would be, Ed could tell that his brother was starting to get annoyed that after an entire week of dutifully following every instruction to the letter, he'd only progressed from being able to take three steps while leaning heavily on the walking bars to taking four before he got too tired and had to rest while he caught his breath. Doctor Thomas had been wonderfully patient with him, quickly and subtly distracting Al whenever she saw his frustration starting to build and Ed had been in awe of her ability to do so without Al realising it was intentional.
"What is it, Brother?" Al asked, breathing heavily from his exertion when he noticed his brother's movement, pausing in the step he'd been about to take.
"Hughes is outside," Ed revealed as Ayala got to her feet from where she'd been laying next to him as they both watched Al's progress. "I'll go see what he wants," he told him before looking at Doctor Thomas. "Sorry for the disruption. I should be back in a couple of minutes," he told her.
"There's no reason for the apology," Doctor Thomas said immediately. "I won't need your assistance until perhaps the next session," she told him.
"Is everything okay?" Al asked, still looking worried and Ed shot him a reassuring smile.
"I have no reason to think otherwise," Ed told him, knowing Al would understand that what he meant was that Leo hadn't said there wasn't a problem when he told Ed that his human was wanting to speak with him. Al seemed to understand as he relaxed and Ed found himself feeling the familiar disbelief he felt when his brother did something, like make an expression, that he hadn't been able to do during the five years he had been bound to a suit of armour. Shaking his mind clear of those thoughts, Ed headed for the door with Ayala, throwing a, "I'll be back in a few minutes" over his shoulder as he did so.
Hughes didn't look surprised when the door opened and Ed and Ayala made their way out of the room, closing the door behind them. "How's everything going?" the colonel asked as Leo greeted both the blonde and wolf.
"Good," Ed told him. "Al's making great progress, according to his doctor, though he seems to think he should be getting better quicker than he is," he said. The familiar worry he'd been feeling since Al had started his physical therapy flared inside his gut but he pushed it aside, firmly telling himself that Chester and Doctor Thomas were in there with Al and keeping an eye on him so he wouldn't do anything stupid.
"Must be an Elric trait to think that normal healing speeds for humans don't apply to them," Hughes teased, earning a chuckle from Ayala and an eyeroll from Ed.
"You're hilarious," Ed said flatly even though he was grinning. "What's up anyways?" he asked curiously. Though it wasn't uncommon for Hughes to slack off from work and come visit the boys, usually Leo would give Ed a heads up if he was going to so Ed could berate him for being lazy and leaving everything to his team.
"Nothing," Hughes said. "I'm on my lunch break and after spending the past three days neck deep in cases concerning the loitering and petty crimes that spiked during the immediate aftermath of Promised Day due to criminals taking advantage of the confusion and chaos, I needed to get out of the base and remembered Al had one of his physical therapy appointments today," he explained.
"He's telling the truth," Leo immediately said, earning a betrayed look from his human that didn't phase him in the slightest.
"Yeah, that does sound awful," Ed said, grimacing in sympathy for the newly made colonel. Paperwork sucked and he was always grateful that all he needed to do was write an after-mission report to hand in. He had no idea what it felt like to be investigating crimes like petty theft, minor assaults, trespassing, vandalisms, and other such misdemeanours but he knew for certain that he wouldn't last more than a day going through back-to-back reports before he destroyed the reports in front of him. He had to commend Hughes for lasting as long as he did.
"I can assure you it most certainly is," Hughes chuckled. "How are you going, anyways? I feel like we haven't seen you for weeks!" he exclaimed dramatically and getting another eyeroll from Ed as a result.
"You saw me two days ago. Quit being so dramatic," Ed chided him, eyes glinting in amusement as Hughes pouted. "And I've been fine. I've been helping Al with his physical therapy and making sure he isn't growing too bored of being stuck in a bed or a wheelchair," he told Hughes, who nodded in sympathy.
"I can't blame him for starting to get sick of being bound to his bed or wheelchair," Hughes said and Ed hummed in agreement. It was a very rare time when Ed made it more than a day being stuck in a bed. He certainly wouldn't have lasted nearly two months like Al had.
"I would've made you," Ayala informed him, causing him to chuckle.
"Yeah, I know you would've tried your best," Ed told her, eyes sparkling in a way that Hughes had rarely seen during the five years he'd known Ed, unless the blonde had been with Elysia and didn't realise they had an audience.
"I would've succeeded," Ayala sniffed haughtily.
Ed ruffled her ears. "Sure you would've," he said, getting a glare for his casual remark. "How's everything in your office anyway? I haven't heard much about how the recovery's going with the military," Ed said. Whenever Mustang or any of the team visited Al while Ed was there, they rarely spoke about the military as a whole. Not that Ed could truly blame them. The last thing he would've wanted to talk about once he'd finished work after being tied to a desk or running around on errands for Mustang would be the military and in all honesty, he hadn't been overly curious about what was going on.
"Fuhrer Grumman held the last press conference regarding the events of Promised Day and his plans for the military and for helping Central recover two weeks ago," Hughes told him. "Right now, since Grumman had initially focused on getting Central Command fixed so that it can get back up and running smoothly – which didn't take long to do since he'd hired alchemists to aide with the rebuilding," he said but Ed was fully aware of that. Koda had been the one to tell him that Izumi had been asked to help with the rebuilding efforts and she had agreed. She, Sig, and their Animals had come back to Central only a few days after they'd left for Dublith to help. "Now that it's up and running, all efforts are now focused on first civilian homes and businesses before it'll be turned to anything military related," Hughes continued on. "Roy's been tasked to lead an investigation into the military officers who've already been arrested for supporting Promised Day, as well as the investigation into the remaining soldiers. Everyone bar the soldiers who were instrumental in the plans for Promised Day and those who joined after it will be investigated to ensure they had no prior knowledge of the plans and didn't aide the homunculi with the plans," he told him.
"Mustang's gonna love all of the paperwork that's going to bring," Ed said with a grin even as he felt a little hurt at the fact that Mustang hadn't told him about this himself. Though he wouldn't leave Central, Ed would've gladly offered his help in going through the military with a fine-tooth comb to weed out any traitors still in the ranks.
Hughes noticed the small flash of hurt but decided not to comment on it. There was some weird tension between his best friend and Edward and, for once, he'd decided it'd be best to leave it to the two of them to sort it out without his interference. "Oh, I imagine he'll be admitted to the hospital with a bullet wound courtesy of Captain Hawkeye when she gets sick of his whining," Hughes said casually, a large grin on his face that grew with Ed's laughter.
"I'll ask the hospital to room him on the other end of the building so Al and I don't have to listen to his whining if he is," Ed said, grinning. "His healing might be delayed if we have to put up with it as well," he added.
"I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case," Hughes said, letting out a bark of laughter.
"Perhaps the two of you shouldn't be so mean to Mustang," Leo suggested, lazily opening an eye from where he lay on the floor. "I can't imagine the rant he'd give upon learning about this discussion would be any more pleasant than his whining if he was hospitalised because of Riza," he added, a small grin of his own on his face as both Hughes and Ed snorted.
"Leo has a point," Hughes said, nudging the fox lightly and earning a growl for his troubles.
"He usually does," Ed said with a wise nod, getting a warm nudge from Leo through their bond.
"Very true," Hughes said, tone the same kind of proud it was whenever he spoke about Elysia's achievements and Ed could feel Leo's blush through their bond before the fox managed to dampen it. "Oh, before I forget," Hughes said, snapping his fingers as he apparently remembered something, "Gracia and Elysia have both said that you need to come over for dinner tonight or else you'll be in trouble with the both of them when they visit Al tomorrow," Hughes informed the blonde.
"I suppose I can go to dinner," Ed said, tone one of someone who was agreeing to something they weren't thrilled about, though the glint in his eyes told Hughes he was only playing.
"My girls will be thrilled when I tell them! Now you definitely have to come to dinner," Hughes told him, voice filled with victory. Ed rolled his eyes, lips stretching into a grin. "Will you stay the night at ours?" Hughes asked.
Ed shrugged a shoulder. "I'll see how long dinner lasts for and whether Al wants me to bring some back for him," Ed told him. Hughes counted the fact that it wasn't an outright 'no' as a win.
"Alright," the older man agreed easily. He knew Ed would do whatever he wanted and he didn't want to pressure the blonde into staying the night if he wanted to stay at the hospital with Al. Besides, Hughes would never begrudge Alphonse some of Gracia's homemade cooking, not now that he was finally able to eat solids for the first time since he was 10. "I'll tell Gracia that you'll let her or Lilith know whether you'll stay once you've spoken to Al," he said and Ed gave a nod of agreement. "I should head back to work. I do still need to get something for lunch and my team are never happy with me if I eat at my desk," he said, sounding as though he didn't know the reason why when Ed, Ayala, and Leo all knew he was fully aware of the reason.
"Yeah, because they don't want to have to clean your paperwork of sauce or crumbs before they send them where they need to go," Ed said flatly.
"They should stop getting upset over such little things!" Hughes exclaimed, throwing his arms up dramatically to further show his feelings over the matter.
"You should stop making your team's lives harder by just not eating at your desk," Leo said dryly, getting an offended look from Hughes while Ed nodded in agreement with the fox.
"I'm feeling a little attacked here," Hughes pouted. "Ayala agrees with me that my team is overreacting," he said confidently.
"Ayala agrees with no such thing," the wolf said and Ed was happy to repeat her words, knowing this conversation was all in good fun, as proven by the sparkle of amusement in Hughes' eyes despite the grossly exaggerated look of shock and betrayal on his face.
Before Hughes could say anything in response, Ayala's and Leo's ears perked up as a muffled noise sounded inside the room Alphonse, Chester, and Doctor Thomas were still in. Before Ed could do anything more than frown and start to wonder what had happened, Chester was in his mind. "Get back in here now!" the leopard ordered, his voice trembling as he obviously held back his worry.
Ed didn't hesitate. He shoved the door open and ran across the room to where he could see Alphonse on the ground, pained expression on his face and a concerned Doctor Thomas crouching next to him, gentle hands pressing against his rib cage while Chester hovered nearby, tail jerkily moving with his concern. "What happened?" Ed demanded, ignoring the sound of Hughes, Leo, and Ayala following him.
"He pushed himself too far and fell," Doctor Thomas said, a reprimanding tone in her voice as she looked at Alphonse. "It feels like he managed to crack a rib," she told the both of them before closing her mouth when she noticed Hughes in the room.
Ed noticed the look and a flash of irritation crossed his face. "He's a family friend," Ed told her, a touch more harshly than was truly warranted but no one reprimanded him in light of the situation. "What the hell were you trying to do?" he asked his brother.
"I thought I was strong enough to take the extra step," Al muttered, cheeks aflame with his embarrassment.
"I tried to warn him to stop. I know his leopard did as well but he ignored the both of us and I couldn't stop him physically in time," Doctor Thomas explained as Hughes brought Al's wheelchair closer while she and Ed carefully helped Alphonse get to his feet. "Your bones are stronger than they were seven weeks ago but the malnutrition you suffered severely weakened them and seven weeks is not long enough for them to be at the strength they would be for a typical fifteen-year-old," Doctor Thomas explained, scolding Al as she and Ed helped him into the chair. "I warned you that this process would be long and slow," she chided.
Alphonse had the decency to look ashamed of his actions. "I'm sorry," he said quietly and Ed watched as the doctor's face softened.
"I know you are," Thomas told him with a sigh. "I'm going to have to adjust your training regimes so you don't damage your rib further. You won't be doing anything for the next two days so your rib has the chance to start healing and there will be no arguments from you," she said firmly, eyes blazing when Al went to argue.
The look in his eyes didn't stop the youngest Elric from trying to argue, however. "I'll be fine!" he told her, eyes wide with panic. "It doesn't even hurt that much!" he protested.
"Liar," Chester snarled, both through the bond at Al and out loud so the doctor could hear him.
Doctor Thomas raised a brow pointedly at Al, who was now flushed red and having been caught out in the lie so quickly. "Two days of complete rest. You don't so much as reach for your cutlery or else I'll extend the bedrest, got it?" she asked and Al gave a sulky nod. "After two days, I'll assess your pain levels and make adjustments to your training regimes so you can resume them without further injuring yourself," she told him, her voice stern but not mean. "Please let this be the only time you need to accidentally hurt yourself in order to learn that this process can't be rushed," she asked, a touch of pleading in her voice that Hughes raised a brow at. He didn't realise how invested Doctor Thomas got in making sure her patients' recoveries went as smoothly as possible.
"I won't do it again," Al promised, voice still sullen but full of enough honesty that Doctor Thomas relaxed at it.
"Good," she said primly as she straightened from her crouch. "I'll contact Doctor Overland to let him know about the injury so he can assess how bad it is and give you painkillers. I'll be by to visit your hospital room in two days. Until then, don't do anything silly," she said before she nodded to Ed and Hughes, letting all of them know that they could leave the room now.
"Thanks, Doctor Thomas," Al said, not quite meeting her eye as he cradled his injured rib to try and minimise the movement of the wheelchair being pushed jostling it.
Ed didn't say a word as he wheeled Al out of the physiotherapy room, followed closely by Chester and Ayala while Hughes and Leo trailed behind them. Ed could feel Chester's irritation with his human and even though he knew it stemmed from the leopard's worry, he found himself very glad that he wasn't on the receiving end of it, for once. However, that feeling was quickly overtaken by a gut-wrenching wave of guilt at Chester's words. "I knew you and your brother were similar but I didn't think there would ever be a day where you emulated Edward when it came to hospitals and following your doctor's advice," Chester lectured, twitching tail the only outward sign of the anger he felt towards the whole situation.
"I just thought that since Brother managed to get through his physical therapy for his automail in a third of the time it normally takes, I could do so as well with my physical therapy," Al said, voice soft enough that Ed and Hughes almost had to strain to hear it.
Hughes saw a flash of something cross Ed's face at those words, as well as the barely noticeable hitch in his steps, and though he didn't know what Ed had felt specifically, he knew that Al's words had really affected the blonde so he was quick to speak up, hoping to stop the guilt he knew the blonde would definitely be feeling before it could worsen. "I think that your injury has proven that comparing Ed's recovery with yours isn't the best thing to do, Alphonse," Hughes commented. "You're not recovering from having automail installed so it seems a bit pointless to me for you to be comparing yourself with Ed in this situation," he said honestly.
Al winced at Hughes' words but had to nod at the truth he knew the older man was saying. In hindsight, using the timeline Ed had established for his own recovery for two automail limbs, back when he was 12 and trying to match his recovery from malnutrition, severe dehydration, severe muscles atrophy, and all the added health problems that came because of them with it was an extraordinarily stupid thing to do. "I know it was dumb," Al admitted, glancing up at Edward and finding himself looking at a pair of golden eyes that were carefully guarding what Ed was feeling. "We went through two completely different things at two completely different times and I should've never expected my recovery to be anywhere near similar to yours, Ed. I'm really sorry," he told his brother.
Ed shook his head immediately as they continued on their way to the room Al called his for the time being. "There's no reason for you to apologise to me," Ed said, doing his best to keep the self-blaming thoughts in his mind from being noticed by the others.
"You told me several times while I was working on my exercises from before I started seeing Doctor Thomas to stop pushing myself harder than I could handle or I'd end up hurting myself and I didn't listen to you," Al said, voice stubborn as he refused to allow his brother to escape the apology he was owed. "If I had just listened to what you and everyone else was saying instead of letting my own stupid, unrealistic expectations dictate what I did, I wouldn't have hurt myself and I wouldn't have prolonged my recovery," Al told him.
Ed forced the roil of self-loathing and guilt he felt as he heard Chester's words echo in his mind, growing louder and more persistent as they continued walking, adding to the panicky feeling that was starting to make his nerves and muscles tremble. He knew exactly what this was and he was trying to force the looming panic attack away so that he wouldn't breakdown in front of Al or Hughes. He could feel Ayala's warm presence pressing into his mind and that reminded him very quickly of the fact that he was bonded to other Animals. Without saying anything, he promptly cut off the bonds with everyone except for the three Animals with him and even then, only Ayala's bond with him was left untouched while he dampened the other two so they wouldn't feel what he was going through.
"Well now you know to listen to us," Ed managed to say, proud of the fact that his voice sounded relatively normal as he entered Al's room and wheeled him up beside the bed, making sure his brother was on the side of the bed that would be less painful to climb into. He helped Al into the bed, making sure he wasn't going to be in any more pain than he already was before he took a couple of steps back. He could feel his left hand trembling as the panic attack that was building didn't start dissipating as he'd hoped it would but merely grew closer. He knew he only had a couple of minutes at most to find a quiet spot to work through this so he wouldn't embarrass himself with this show of weakness. "I'm gonna see if I can find Doctor Overland or Doctor Grainger," Ed said as Chester jumped up beside Al. He and Ayala were out of the room before Al, Hughes, or the two other Animals could say anything.
Ayala had wanted to skin the leopard the moment he'd made the comment about Al emulating her human when she felt just how much that offhanded statement had affected Ed. She was almost positive that Hughes had noticed something – the man wasn't in Investigations for no reason – and that that was the reason why he'd spoken up before Ed could but she focused more of her attention on trying to keep Ed calm and to get him to stop spiralling into the pool of self-blaming and guilt she knew he was heading for. Since she couldn't let the comment stand without defending her boy, Ayala had spared a bit of energy to pushing her intense displeasure with the leopard onto Chester before promptly cutting him off so she wouldn't feel his confusion as she tried to pull Ed out of the dark headspace he was heading for.
Ayala didn't even notice they were in Al's hospital room or that Al and Chester were back on his bed until Edward was all but fleeing out of the room as he tried desperately to find somewhere that he wouldn't likely be found until the panic attack had passed. She knew Ed considered them a sign of weakness and though she had tried throughout the years, she hadn't been able to convince him otherwise just yet. He'd never told Al that he suffered from them – forbidding Ayala and Chester from doing so themselves – since he didn't want his little brother to see him like that and think he wouldn't be strong enough to keep his promise. Since she'd been forbidden from telling Al, Ayala knew full well that Ed would never let her ask Nala to tell Mustang so the older alchemist could aide Ed but the wolf felt her desire to do so grow with every panic attack her boy suffered through with only her and maybe Chester helping him as best they could.
Ed turned sharply to his right and barged into an empty closet that was likely used to store excess medical supplies, Ayala close on his heels. Of course, with the hospital being filled to the point where they were having to send people home who ordinarily would've been admitted for a night, this supply closet was currently empty of any medical supplies and – to Ayala's despair – would mean that no one would stumble across them and be able to help Ed through this more than she could. She watched, heart clenching tightly with sadness, as Ed leaned his back against the wall and starting heaving for the breath he hadn't been able to catch for a while. For a few moments, he tried doing so while leaning over at the waist but that soon proved to be ineffective and Ayala whined with concern as he slid down the wall and hugged his knees to his chest, still desperately trying to draw in a full breath.
The gold wolf had no clue what to do. In the past when Ed had suffered a panic attack, Ayala – and Chester, if he were there with him – could only offer their warmth and soothing words since neither knew anything else to help Ed. The fact that Alphonse would've notice he was missing if he had been gone too long had also helped shorten the panic attacks and had aided Ed in recovering quicker than he normally would have. Ayala had longed to ask one of the team's Spirit Animals for tips on how to help her human through a panic attack but she knew that they would be able to figure out her claimed hypothetical situation was all too real and was about Ed, leading to them telling their humans in a bid to give a human they liked and respected as much as they did the best chance of getting help and that would drive a wedge between Ed and Ayala that the wolf didn't want. Though it pained her to see her boy going through this, Ayala couldn't do anything more than force her head under his left arm and lean most of her body weight against his side so she could ground him.
"Everything's okay, Ed," Ayala said, keeping her voice calm and soft. Ed's breathing was still harsh and she could feel something damp hitting the top of her head and she knew her boy was crying. "Al's actions weren't your fault. He didn't get hurt because of you. He got hurt because he made a poor decision because he decided to compare two completely different situations. That isn't on you, my boy," she told him, twisting her head so she could lick some of the salty tears away. The continued, muffled sobs from Ed told her that she hadn't managed to break through his self-deprecating thoughts yet but that didn't truly surprise her. It was never easy bringing Ed out of one of his panic attacks.
Not giving up, Ayala kept up the soothing words and shifted her body every now and then so that Ed remembered she was there. For another minute or two, it continued like this, with Ayala trying to help Ed calm down while wishing she could just get the attention of someone walking past the closed door. The only thing that stopped her from doing so was not knowing who those people were. While the chances of them being hospital staff were good, the chances of them being a complete stranger who wouldn't be bound by patient confidentiality and might go telling everyone that they saw the Fullmetal Alchemist having a panic attack was far too great for her to risk it. Licking Ed's cheek again, Ayala went to repeat her mantra only to stop when the noise of footsteps outside the door ceased before the person had passed the room by. Ears perking forward, Ayala's eyes focused on the door even as she kept speaking to Ed, trying to get through to him.
Just as she decided that it was someone stopping for a break or to speak with someone else, the door opened cautiously and Ayala pinned her ears back as she lifted her lips in a silent snarl. Depending on who this was, a warning growl might be all that would be needed but she was fully prepared to launch herself at the intruder and tear out their throat if need be. However, once she recognised the person and Animal who entered the room, she settled down immediately. Hughes and Leo gave her a worried look as Hughes shut the door as quietly as he could manage but Ayala ignored them, focusing her full attention back on Ed, who hadn't reacted to their entrance in the slightest.
"Maes wants to know if Ed's alright," Leo told Ayala as the pair stood awkwardly in front of the door. It was obvious the pair wanted to help but didn't know if their help or comfort would be accepted.
Ayala considered her answer carefully. If this had been Nala and Mustang, she would've outright told them to leave and that Ed was fine, despite wanting them to help. Ed's reaction to Mustang and Nala witnessing him having a panic attack wouldn't have been worth the help, in Ayala's opinion. If Mustang were to find out about Ed's panic attacks, she would rather it be because Ed told him about them and was seeking advice on how to mitigate them. However, this was Hughes and Leo. Though Ed valued and respected the bespectacled man, he didn't see him the same way he saw Mustang. Hughes was a friend – someone Ed saw as an uncle or big brother to him and Al – and Ayala knew that the embarrassment he would feel at Hughes finding him and helping him through a panic attack would be far less than how he would feel if almost anyone else he knew found him.
"Not really," Ayala decided to answer. A moment later, a concerned frown crossed Hughes' features and she knew her answer had been passed on. "Chester's comment about Al being too much like Ed and Al telling us that he was trying to push himself further than he should because of how well it worked for Ed when he was getting his automail caused Ed to have a panic attack," she explained before they could ask. If anyone could help Ed without Ed being too mad, it would be Hughes.
Maes face crumpled slightly as he took a couple of quiet steps closer to Ed, only to stop when Ayala lifted her top lip up in a warning snarl. Even Leo seemed surprised by her actions and that surprise was reflected in his tone. "What's the matter?"
"Ed doesn't do well with people touching him while he's like this. He's also not going to react well when he realises you saw him break down," Ayala explained. Despite knowing Hughes was likely the person who Ed would react the most positively to in the situation where a human he knew discovered he suffered panic attacks, Ayala also knew his reaction was likely going to be pretty bad and she didn't want him to think she'd tattled to Leo or willingly let Hughes help him when she knew Ed wouldn't let Hughes in this part of his life. "You two need to leave before he realises you're even here," she told Leo, looking pointedly between Hughes, the fox, and the door.
Hughes didn't need Leo to translate the last part of her message, if the look in his eyes was anything to go by. "He needs help, Ayala," Hughes told her, speaking softly. Ed didn't even react to the man's voice and Ayala knew she wasn't the only one to notice that. "If you can honestly promise me that you will be okay to help him through this on your own and that you wouldn't be grateful for our help, Leo and I will leave," Hughes swore. Leo didn't look happy about his human's words but he did give Ayala a nod, an indication that he would do as Hughes had promised he would.
Again, Ayala felt a massive amount of confliction roll around in her mind. It took her far longer than she would've liked before she came to a decision but in the end, she looked Hughes in the eye and nodded. "Help him," was all she beseeched them as she leant up against the silently crying Ed who was still gasping in ragged breaths as he tried to draw in a full breath.
The instant Leo had given Hughes Ayala's answer, the colonel was moving forward the few steps he needed to before he crouched in front of Ed and gently grasped his left forearm. The moment his fingers closed around Ed's wrist, Ed's automail hand shot out and clamped around Maes' but the man didn't flinch. Ayala didn't try and move her way out from underneath Ed's flesh arm, half because she knew she was still offering some kind of comfort by being there and half because she was worried Ed would react badly if she did and then they would have to deal with his guilt over her getting hurt accidentally. Ed had lifted his head up when he'd grabbed Hughes' wrist but his red-rimmed eyes were glazed over, a clear indication that he wasn't mentally with them in this moment.
Hughes didn't try and escape Ed's grip even though Ayala could see Leo holding his matching front paw in a way that told her he was feeling sympathy pain from his human. All Hughes did was speak in the same soft tone he'd used when he'd spoken to Ayala before. "Ed? It's me, Maes," he told the blonde. "You're in Central hospital, in an empty storage room only a few dozen metres away from Alphonse's room. You're here with me, Leo, and Ayala," he said, keeping his voice soothing. Ed wasn't crying any longer but he also didn't seem to realise what was happening around him, too trapped in his own mind to do so. "Ayala is leaning against your left side while I'm touching your left arm. Leo is just off to your right." Ed didn't seem to be reacting to Hughes' words from what Ayala could physically see but from what she could feel from her boy, Hughes seemed to be doing something. "You're perfectly safe here. There's no one around who will hurt you or judge you for what's happening. This is completely normal for someone to go through," Hughes continued before he locked eyes with Ayala.
"Ayala is going to duck out from under your left arm now because I'm really worried about your breathing. I want to help with that but Ayala will be in my way a little bit." The grip on Hughes' wrist tightened a little more as Ed's breathing worsened. Ayala shot Hughes a piercing glare but the man didn't pay any attention to her. "She's not going to go far. She's only going to move out from under your arm. She can stay against your side but I need to be able to touch your chest and she's in the way of me doing that," Hughes explained, both to Ed and Ayala. Ed seemed to relax slightly at that and Ayala thought his eyes seemed a little clearer than they had earlier.
Slightly ashamed of her earlier glare, Ayala wriggled out from under Ed's arm but not before she licked him on the cheek once more. As Hughes said she could, Ayala immediately pressed against her boy's side, covering him completely from shoulder to hip. Hughes nodded in thanks before he shifted slightly so he would be more on Ed's left than in front of him. "I'm going to use my left hand to touch your chest and I'm going to use my right hand to move your left hand so it's touching my chest," Hughes explained calmly. "However, to do that, I need you to let go of my right wrist with your automail. Can you do that for me, Ed?" he asked patiently. It took several moments for Ed to slowly release the wrist he had a hold of but Hughes didn't move or ask again in that time. "Thank you," Hughes said, shaking the wrist a little before he did exactly what he told Ed he was going to do.
Once he had his hand on Ed's chest and the blonde's hand on his own, Hughes spoke again. "Now, all I want you to focus on right now is the feel of my chest rising and falling and what I'm saying," Hughes told him. Ayala was watching the older man, half with suspicion and half to learn from him so she could hopefully apply this in the future, assuming it was successful. "Just listen to what I'm saying," he repeated, making it obvious to Ayala that that was what he wanted Ed to primarily focus on out of his two requests. "I want you to close your mouth and inhale through your nose for four seconds and then you're going to hold your breath for seven seconds before you exhale through your mouth for eight seconds, like this," he instructed before he went through the technique. Ed didn't copy Hughes but the man didn't seem to mind. "Breathe in through your nose for four seconds," he repeated himself, speaking slowly but clearly and to Ayala's surprise, Ed did just as he was asked. Hughes' eyes flashed with delight but he didn't say anything about it. "Now hold your breath for seven seconds," he instructed once more but Ed only managed to do so for three seconds before his breath burst out of him and his ragged breathing returned.
Ayala watched in amazement as Hughes walked Ed through the breathing technique four more times before Ed managed to follow the instructions perfectly. He never once seemed annoyed or impatient with Ed and his voice never wavered from the calm, soft tone he'd been using the whole time. With each attempt at the breathing exercise, Ed's own breathing had become less ragged and Ayala was delighted to feel the mass of self-hate, self-disgust, guilt, and shame swirling in Ed's mind fading with each calmly given instruction by Hughes. Leo was still sitting off to Ed's right as his human continued helping Ayala's, his eyes filled with worry for Ed but complete trust in Hughes.
Ayala almost whined in relief when she felt Ed's panic attack disappear completely. "Hughes? Leo?" Ed asked as blinked in confusion a couple of times before his eyes darkened in realisation and embarrassment and Ayala knew the fallout she'd been expecting was about to happen.
Just as Ed opened his mouth to say something, anger flashing across his features in a desperate attempt to hide his embarrassment, Hughes cut him. "Don't you dare try and play this off or ask me to forget finding you like this," Hughes said, voice now with a cutting edge rather than the soft tone it had been during the last ten minutes. Ed jerked back in surprise and even Leo was giving Hughes a shocked look. "You have no idea how painful it was for me to come into this room after being worried about why you were taking so long to find Doctor Overland and realising you were having a panic attack," Hughes told him and Ed's face flushed in shame and guilt. Just as Ayala lifted her lips into a snarl, Hughes continued. "To find out that not only have you been going through panic attacks but realising that you've been keeping them to yourself instead of reaching out for help cut me pretty deeply. Especially since I've suffered and continue to suffer from them myself," Hughes revealed.
Ayala was pretty certain her jaw dropped alongside Ed's at that revelation and Hughes chuckled quietly. "But you –" Ed cut himself off, unable to figure out what he was trying to say. "I never realised," he finally said, voice near a whisper.
Hughes shrugged a shoulder. "I don't exactly advertise them," he told Ed, a small smirk in place that fell quickly, "but I probably have one every few months these days. After the Ishvalen Civil War and again after Elysia was born, I suffered from them anywhere from once a day to a few times a week," he divulged, almost uncaringly but both Ed and Ayala saw the distant look in his eye and the slight tremor in his hands. Leo leant against Hughes' leg and the man petted him.
Ed looked almost afraid to ask something and Ayala could feel his hesitance before the blonde decided to just ask. "How did you make them less frequent?" he asked cautiously.
"They got better with time but also because I opened up to those around me and trusted them to help me through them without any judgement," Hughes told him and Ayala saw Ed's face fall. Hughes also noticed the look and his expression softened. "How often do you go through them?" he asked gently.
Ed shrugged a shoulder, looking over to his left at the gold of Ayala's hair though not really seeing it. Ayala could feel the familiar exhaustion that always set in when Ed had a panic attack. "Dunno," Ed told Hughes. "Maybe every few weeks or so," he said.
"Who helps you through them?" Hughes asked, deciding not to press Ed to see if he was telling the truth.
"Ayala mostly," Ed told him. "Chester as well, if he happens to be near me when one hits," he added and Hughes' face fell.
"You don't talk to anyone about them? Not even Al?" Hughes asked and Ed's eyes shot back up to meet his, a fresh panic in them.
"No! Al doesn't know about them! You can't tell him!" Ed told him, voice pleading as his eyes blazed with enough worry and panic in them that Hughes couldn't bring himself to try and convince Ed right now that telling his little brother might be beneficial for him
"I won't tell him, Ed," Hughes promised immediately and Ayala watched as Ed relaxed back against the wall, "but you should. If not Al, then you should tell someone else," Hughes said, unable to stop himself from doing so. "You can always come to me if you want someone to talk to about your panic attacks but you really should have two or three people who can help you, just in case someone can't," Hughes told him.
Ed shook his head. "No, no one can know about them," he told Hughes. "It's bad enough that you know I have them," he muttered and Ayala felt herself flinch slightly at the blame she felt placed on her by Ed, though that sting was soothed a moment later at the flare of regret and warm assurance that he hadn't meant that thought.
"Ed –" Hughes started to say, his voice saddened but understanding but Ed cut him off with a violent shake of his head.
"No!" Ed shouted, causing Hughes and Leo to flinch back a little in surprise. Ed flushed at his reaction but he just shook his head again. "No one can know I have these. It's pathetic and stupid that I can't pull myself together when I have them and it's pitiful that I even have them in the first place," Ed spat, his self-loathing so strong that Ayala whined and pressed into him.
"That is not true, Ed," the wolf told him but Ed ignored her.
"Edward, that is the biggest load of shit I've heard from you and I've been privy to some of the excuses you've given Roy and your doctors about late mission reports and causes for your injuries," Hughes told him bluntly. Ed's eyes widened at the conviction in Hughes' tone but Ayala was pleased to hear it. It was pretty rare for Hughes to have a serious conversation like this with Ed and she was relieved that he was going to now. Ed usually listened to everything Hughes said at times like this and took his words to heart. "Having panic attack is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you've been through something traumatic and that you need help in dealing with it and that," he said, eyes flashing when Ed went to argue, "is also not something you should ever be ashamed about," Hughes told him, his words becoming gentler while his tone stayed the same. "You and Al have gone through so many traumatic experiences since you were four, Edward, that I would truly be more surprised to learn your mental health was perfect," Hughes said bluntly.
"I didn't go –" Ed started protesting but Hughes cut him off with a disbelieving look.
"Your father abandoning you and your family when you were four was traumatic and do not try to tell me otherwise," Hughes said. "If it wasn't, you wouldn't have been as furious with him as you were for all those years and you wouldn't have reacted so badly to him every time you were near him," Hughes pointed out. Ed's eyes flickered with grief at the mention of his father – his death affecting him even though that numerous times throughout the years, Ed had said he'd hoped Hohenheim was dead – and with shame at how right Hughes' words were. "Going through what you did when you were 11 was so traumatic that even if that were the only thing to have happened to you, I would expect you to suffer from panic attacks," Hughes told him. "Not to mention everything that has happened while you were part of the military," he added, a familiar look of fury crossing his face as he thought about how young Ed had been when he'd enlisted and how Wrath had allowed a 12-year-old to do so just so he could keep two important sacrifices under his watchful eye.
"But you've been through way worse things than I have and you just said that your panic attacks are under control," Ed said, a touch bitterly. "I'm a genius. I should be able to realise when one's about to happen and know how to stop it by myself," he muttered angrily.
"I also said that my panic attacks were almost constant after the Ishvalen Civil War," Hughes pointed out. "However, just like I told Alphonse when he admitted that he was rushing his rehabilitation because you were successfully able to do so with your own, our two situations are different," Hughes told him gently. "I was triggered often because I had just come back from the frontlines of a war that ended with practically genocidal actions on Amestris' part and I didn't know how to adjust back to civilian life," Hughes told him. "Your triggers are completely different to mine because your trauma is different to mine. Even if we both went through the exact same thing at the exact same time, I wouldn't expect you to react to your triggers the way I act to mine," Hughes said. "We're two very different people with two very different backgrounds of trauma and how we're going to react and work through them is going to be different," Hughes explained. "And the whole thing about you being a genius and how you should know when you're about to suffer a panic attack and that you should be able to stop it by yourself? That's also a load of bullshit," Hughes told him. "It doesn't matter how smart you are. No one can control what kind of things they react to, how they react to them, and whether they can recognise the signs. Not completely," Hughes stated.
Ed squirmed where he sat slightly, feeling a little uncomfortable and ashamed of himself as Hughes continued speaking and Ayala was a little relieved at that since it meant her human was listening to the older man and that he was realising that Hughes was telling the truth. But Hughes wasn't finished yet. "The only reasons my panic attacks became less frequent is because I found a great support network and I got better at identifying my triggers and minimising my chances of being around them. In the cases where I had no choice, I had plans in place to prepare myself for that situation so I could react in the calmest manner possible," Hughes told Ed. "I had a good handle on my panic attacks caused by the war up until Elysia was born then they became frequent again because I was terrified of what could happen to my precious baby girl and what her future could look like but I had learned from those first few months after the war and I utilised my support network and I saw a discreet therapist and within a couple of months after her birth, I was more or less as mentally healthy as I was in the year before Elysia was born," Hughes revealed.
Ayala could feel Ed's surprise at the revelation that Hughes had sought out therapy ever in his life. Though not as frowned upon or socially judged as it had been a few dozen years ago when psychologists, therapists, and those who sought mental help went through their studies or sought out support, there were still people – usually the elderly who grew up in that era – who looked down upon those who worked in the mental health industry and those who needed support from them. In Ed's mind, he saw seeking out the support of a therapist as a weakness because of the stance of never accepting help from anyone he'd formed when his mother had passed and had turned into his motto the moment he joined the military. It had been something Ayala had desperately and regularly tried to get him to change his viewpoint on but to no avail as of yet. However, Ayala allowed herself to feel a spark of hope that maybe Hughes might give Ed the push he needed in order to change his perspective of therapy and what would happen if he sought it out.
Hughes had certainly noticed Ed's shock but had said nothing, patiently waiting for Ed to ask the question Ayala knew Hughes was waiting to be asked. "You saw a therapist?" Hughes's eyes flashed with victory as the quiet question escaped Ed's mouth.
Hughes nodded. "Doctor Hill," he told him cheerily. "Brilliant man. He certainly helped me through some rough times. He's retired now but whenever I feel like I'm struggling, I can call up the doctor who trained under him and book an appointment. Doctor Maddick has never turned me away," Hughes divulged.
Ayala could feel Ed thinking about Hughes' words and she felt her hope rise when she sensed him entertaining the idea that maybe therapy wouldn't be so bad before that hope was squashed when Ed fiercely buried that thought. "So you think I need some shrink's help?" Ed asked, his voice bitter and sharp.
"It doesn't really matter what I think," Hughes said, thoroughly unphased by Ed's tone. "I certainly believe therapy could be beneficial for you and Alphonse both but that's solely based on the traumas the two of you have gone through. You're the only person who can decide whether they want any sort of support and you're the only one who can reach out to someone who can offer you that support. I'm not going to try and force or manipulate you into therapy. That decision is on you alone," he said patiently. Ed looked mildly shocked that Hughes wasn't going to push the issue and Ayala didn't need to be Leo to know Hughes was a little hurt by that. "What I do think you need and what I'm tempted to push you into doing is talking to someone about this," Hughes admitted.
Ayala saw Ed's expression turn stubborn, just as she knew it would when Hughes made that suggestion. "I can't tell anyone," Ed told Hughes, shaking his head firmly. "No one can know," he repeated himself. "I'll be fine on my own. I always have been. I can keep dealing with them without forcing someone else to have to. It's bad enough you know about this and that Ayala and Chester have to try and help me," he said, flinching when Ayala loosed a growl usually reserved for criminals who have ticked her off.
"You are in no way forcing me to help you through these attacks. You can't help the fact you have them anymore than I can help the fact my eyes are gold," Ayala told her boy, keeping her voice firm and tone authoritative so that he had to listen to her. "Chester has never made me so much as think he doesn't want to help you in anyway he can when he's been present for a panic attack so don't you dare say otherwise," she snarled. "You know my opinions already regarding you seeking support from people who are much more capable than I or Chester are at giving you the help you need and I really think you should take on what Hughes is saying and reconsider it again," she told him, her voice softening towards the end. "I love you, Ed. You are my soul and it kills me every time you go through a panic attack and I can't do anything more than try and comfort you. Maybe it wouldn't be the end of the world if you went to someone and spoke with them. Even if it's Hughes or Havoc or someone else from the team that you speak with. You know none of them would betray your trust if you asked them not to," she said, pressing her muzzle lightly against Ed's cheek.
Hughes had been patiently waiting for Ayala to finish her lecture of Ed before he spoke up, taking his cue when Ayala nudged Ed's cheek. "I don't know what Ayala said so there's a good chance I'm going to repeat something but it is what it is," Hughes said, bringing Ed and Ayala's attention back to himself. "If you went to someone wanting to talk to them about this and they told you that you were burdening them, you need to cut them out of your life ASAP," Hughes told him, first and foremost. "Those are not the kind of people you need in your life and I can guarantee that the only person whose Animal you've bonded with who might be like that is General Armstrong," Hughes said confidently. "You could pick any Animal you've bonded with and go to their human and I would be confident in betting my savings account that they would be willing to help you however they can," he told Ed. "I'm sure you won't be surprised when I tell you that I would be more than willing to be that person who you speak to whenever you're having a bad day and don't feel like you can cope by yourself or with only Ayala's support but I would be there for you if you needed me," Hughes said, eyes bright as they pleaded with Ed to at least about his offer.
"Yeah, I'm not surprised," Ed said, snorting through his nose lightly. Ayala could feel the last few tendrils of the panic attack that usually lingered after one finally let go of her human. Hughes chuckled at Ed's response but seemed to realise Ed wasn't done speaking as he didn't say anything just yet. It took a couple of moments for Ayala to feel Ed finish doing some reflection of the conversation that had happened and his own self-reflection but he got there. "I don't want you to think that I'm ignoring what you told me," Ed said, sounding a touch awkward as he spoke, "but I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone – including Alphonse – what happened and just…" he trailed off for a moment as he tried to think of a way to put his request. "Just, please, let me think about talking to you or someone else," he asked, golden eyes looking up from the ground to meet Hughes' brown ones.
Hughes nodded immediately. "Of course," he agreed straight away. "I'll leave it to you to tell whoever you want to about what's going on with you and I'll leave it to you to reach out to me or whoever you decide to get support from when you want it," he told Ed before his eyes flashed seriously. "So long as you swear to me that you will seriously think on it," Hughes said.
Ed nodded slowly but firmly. "I will," he swore and Ayala would bet anything she could that she wasn't the only Animal or person in the room to let out a silent sigh of relief when Ed made that promise. She knew he would keep it and she really hoped this meant that he would do so before another panic attack was triggered.
"Marvellous," Hughes said, beaming brightly as he grabbed Ed by his flesh and hauled them both up into a standing position, causing Ayala to yelp in shock as she found herself leaning against nothing and nearly falling sideways before she could stop herself. "Oops, sorry Ayala," Hughes apologised sincerely but Ayala made sure to pin him with a glare as she shook herself off. Ed seemed to be too stunned to tease Ayala for what happened and the wolf was glad about that. She didn't want to teach him a lesson about teasing her so soon after a panic attack. Hughes hauled Ed in by his shoulders and wrapped him in the usual one-armed hug he gave the blonde whenever the two saw each other. No one commented on the fact that Ed used the opportunity to clean his face as best he could. "Now, since you don't want Alphonse worrying about you and trying to figure out why it took you so long to find his doctor, we should probably go do that and I'll tell him that I found a nurse who hasn't yet seen my latest photos of my adorable daughter and stunning wife and that you were trying valiantly to save her," Hughes offered as he walked Ed towards the door, arm still firmly wrapped around Ed's shoulder.
"Thanks, Hughes," Ed said quietly. "And thanks for coming to find me and for helping me out. I'm sure Ayala really appreciates the help as well," Ed told him and Ayala nodded next to her human vigorously. As much as it shamed her to admit that there was something she wasn't good at helping her human with, Ayala was more than willing to put that shame aside to thank the person who was able to assist Ed where she couldn't and she told Ed as much, who told Hughes.
"There's no need to thank me," Hughes told him, bringing the four of them to a stop just before the door. They could all hear the sounds of numerous people walking past the room but no one paid any further attention to it. "I meant what I said. I will always be there for you – for any of you Elrics, for that matter – if you need me," Hughes said, voice serious. "Just come and find me or reach out to Leo and I will drop what I'm doing to be there for you, even if it's over the phone when you're out of Central," Hughes told them.
Ed nodded in agreement. "I will and I'll find some way to tell Alphonse and Chester that without telling Al about what happened to cause you to make that offer," Ed promised.
"Leave it to me," Hughes said, squeezing Ed briefly. "I'm sure I'll be able to bring it up in conversation at some stage during Al's recovery," he added when Ed looked conflicted.
The blonde relented and gave another nod. "Sure," he agreed and Hughes rewarded him with another tight hug.
"Excellent. Now, let's go and find your brother's doctor," Hughes said, voice the same energetically cheerful tone it usually was and Ed grinned, even as he sighed while he was dragged out of the room, firmly ignoring the curious looks he, Hughes, Leo, and Ayala were getting for being in an empty supply closet in the first place.
"You know," Ayala said, bringing Ed's attention away from Hughes' rambling, "you're going to have to come up with an explanation for why you blocked all your other bonds," she reminded him and Ed winced. He hadn't spared a thought to what he would tell Nala and the others once he stopped blocking them.
"I'll figure something out," Ed eventually said, keeping his conversation with his Animal through the bond so he didn't disturb Hughes' talking. He could feel Leo's eyes on him and knew the fox had some inclination about what Ayala and he had just spoken about but the fox didn't ask him outright so he didn't volunteer the information. "I should probably thank you as well, shouldn't I?" Ed asked and got a curious look from his wolf in response. "You helped me a lot before Hughes found us and I know that you were torn between respecting my wishes about no one outside of you and Chester knowing about my panic attacks and having Hughes help me and I am grateful you decided to ignore me this time," Ed admitted. "So, thanks."
Ayala felt a wave of pride wash over her as she listened to her human thank her, showing just how much he had grown from that stubborn 12-year-old who refused to admit he was wrong or to listen when someone offered advice when he didn't ask for it to the 17-year-old walking beside her now. "You're welcome, Ed," she said, rubbing up against his right side as they walked. "Now, let's go and find Doctor Overland so he can lecture Al about being reckless rather than you, for once," she said eagerly, causing Ed to chuckle as he ruffled her ears. Though she knew her human was a long way from being in a good place mentally, Ayala allowed the content feeling in her to consume her as Hughes continued leading them down the hallway, never once letting go of Ed as he ensured the teenager knew he was always there for him.
A/N - Surprise! This is a gifted fic to an amazing person who I met on Ao3 who adored my Spirit Animals AU for FMA. We became firm friends and when I asked her what she wanted for Christmas, this is what she wanted. This - as all my stories are - will be crossposted over to Ao3 primarily so she can read it since that's the main platform she uses but I wanted to post this here since I normally post something for Christmas. I do apologise that it's not the next chapter of my "Asking For Help Ain't A Bad Thing" story but since the next chapter is due in like two days and this one is a Christmas present, this will be what's posted.
I just want to make it clear that this ISN'T the start of the 'what if?' or drabble collection I've promised for this AU. This is a stand-alone story connected to my AU but isn't a 'what if?' scenario and it's not a missing or extended scene like the drabble collection will be.
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and if you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you have an awesome day and that everyone stays safe!
So, RealityXIllusion, I really hope you love your Christmas gift! FullMetal_Bitch xx