I was in the mood for some spoken poetry and Angst :) And then voila! This was born! :D I have one last exam before our vacation so I'll be able to focus on my other stories soon enough. So I hope you can be patient!
Like I said, this is a poem in Tsuna's POV. It gets a little corny but I hope you enjoy~
I don't want to be a mafia boss
I don't want to experience the loss
Of my innocence because I know that's what it'll cost
I don't want fame, wealth and power
I wouldn't even hesitate to refuse such an offer
If it means I have to live knowing it could be my final hour
Or possibly the last moment I can spend
With my loving family and friends
Before I or one either one of them dies.
It's a job filled with danger and lies
My nightmares will be haunted by their cries
And not just the cries of the people I care about
but also the people I had to take out
Because even if they did live a sinful life
They will still leave behind a loving wife
Who has no idea of all her husband's sins
And that it was for the best that he didn't win
In that shoot out where he has been
spending his final hours engaging in human trafficking.
She wouldn't know better.
She wouldn't know that he lied to her.
So I'd have to listen as she mourns for her lover
Alongside their son, or maybe even a daughter
Who, in the future, will seek revenge for their father.
I don't want that, no matter what you give me in exchange.
I know that a lot of people would find it strange.
But no agreement here can be arranged.
I don't want to be a Mafia Boss! That will never change.
I don't want to live a life of crime and scandal
Because I know it'll be too much for me to handle
I don't want to trudge the thin line between good and evil
I'd rather live a life that's completely normal
I don't want to keep on seeing my friends covered in blood and bruises
I don't want to meet people who inflict pain while looking amused
I don't want to fight wars with no hope of finding truce
I don't want to have to kill someone no matter what excuse
I don't want to constantly be covered in someone's blood, no matter whose.
I don't want to keep on fighting battles I can't afford to lose.
Family or Famiglia? I don't want to have to choose
Just like my father did, although I wish he chose us.
But he didn't, and so he lost my trust.
I don't want to leave my mother just like he had done.
I don't want the same loneliness to be experienced by my son.
I want to be able to spend time with him and just have some fun.
I don't want to be torn between two obligations
But knowing I'll be stuck nonetheless in a life of damnation.
I don't want to be a Mafia Boss.
I don't want to go through man-made calamities
Kill thousands of people, lose my humanity
Become a hypocrite, question my sanity
Constantly being reminded of my friends' mortality
Try to be good while losing my morality
Without noticing, changing my personality
Because of surrounding myself with violence and brutality
Pretending to be happy but in actuality
This bloody nightmare has become my reality.
I don't want to be forced to assign missions to my friend
Knowing that it could be the reason I'll never see them again.
All that it'll take is an order
A single display of power
And they'll all be willing to take their lives
And offer it up as a sacrifice
In a display of trust and loyalty
Why do I even deserve to be treated like royalty?
Because of the blood that I unwillingly have, running through my veins?
That I now have the power to do as I please and cause people pain?
You give me power but expect me to ignore the blood stains.
Vongola isn't a throne, for me they're nothing but chains.
Chains that lock me up, forcing me to do what I don't want to do
They don't lie but neither do they tell what's true
And what's true is something I already knew
I don't want to be a Mafia Boss
Because I know what it means to become one, don't you understand?
I'm not privileged or lucky, I'm just a sacrificial lamb.
Because all the other heirs died, now I'm all that remains
To inherit the "throne" and bear all its chains
In order to carry on the Vongola's legacy
They're willing to sacrifice the life of a civilian, me.
Can't you see?
If the other heirs hadn't died, it wouldn't have mattered if I had
But they did, should I be glad?
If you think so, then you're wrong.
Yes, because of that I've become strong.
But at what price?
It was at the cost of my life.
What's the point of fame when it means having to deal with constant attempts of assassination?
What's the point of wealth when it was gained from illegal transactions?
What's the point of friends when you'll be forced to watch them die one-by-one?
If I defeat an enemy but my comrades had also fallen, had I really won?
I don't want to be a Mafia Boss
.
.
.
But I don't have a choice, do I?
I won't be able to escape it no matter how hard I try.
The chains have wrapped themselves around me, it's already too late
The more I struggle, the more it suffocates
Vongola didn't set me free, it just changed my cage.
A lot has changed, but not the distress
At first I was trapped in the ever spiraling blackhole of loneliness
Now I'm trapped in obligation
Living in fear, struggling to meet their expectation
I don't want to be a Mafia Boss!
I cry out, a loud, desperate plea
But why does no one seem to hear me?
Hope has long been lost, and yet I continue to struggle
Maybe there is no escaping this evil
I just wanted to be loved, and yet the world is so cruel
I see my future, filled with blood, misery and tears. My future that's inevitable.
Corny? Cliche? Should I stop wandering on the poetry territory? Should I turn this into a story instead? Let me know~
I hope you liked it ~ !
~ RnR ~ !
~ RnR ~ !
