Blue Moon
Chapter 1: Snow in the Sky
I raised my eyes to the cold sky above and as I had expected, the clouds were grey and puffy. I adjusted the scarf that was hanging limply around my neck so that it gave my exposed skin better coverage.
Despite that, however, I shivered.
If I told you that the weather tonight was anything but completely dreadful, I would be lying. Not only was it cold out, but judging from the muted atmosphere and the complete absence of any sunlight over Japan, it looked like it was about to snow as well.
I supposed it was an inevitability that we would see snowfall in this season. After all, the probability of precipitation in cold weather was exponentially higher, or so I'd heard. Humans could control many things, but nature was one thing that couldn't always be accounted for.
Still, as I pedaled through the streets on my bicycle, I couldn't help but be in a slightly bitter mood anyways.
I let out a puff of cold breath.
These conditions really aren't ideal for a nice bike ride… I'm like totally freezing my butt off here… And on that note, what the heck am I doing out here at a time like this again?
Oh, that was right.
This was all that Yukinoshita's fault.
'Don't forget to pick up those supplies that I messaged you about, Hikigaya-kun. If you show up empty handed tomorrow, I will make sure that the door remains locked and that you are denied summary entrance. I'll even install a window on the door so that you will have a front row seat to watch Yuigahama-san and I enjoy the party by ourselves.'
It wasn't hard to guess who had spoken those jeeringly haughty words. I fought to roll my eyes as I remembered how the remainder of that conversation had played out. I didn't remember the exact words that were used or anything, but suffice to say, in the end Yukinoshita had managed to edge me out and I ended up bending to her whim.
That was pretty much what led to me being in the situation that I was currently in: biking through the streets of Chiba at an ungodly hour in ungodly weather.
But even so, I felt that I didn't have the right to complain. It wasn't like Yukinoshita was asking me to do some terribly difficult thing or anything. With all things considered, I supposed picking up some drinks at the local drugstore was really the least I could do in a situation like this.
After all, if I recalled correctly, Yukinoshita had said that she was planning on baking her own homemade treats for our little gathering. If that didn't just scream admirable commitment, then I don't know what did. Being willing to put in that much work on account of feeding Yuigahama and myself was something that I definitely admired.
And I wasn't just saying that because I loved free food either. It really did speak to her character that she would do something like that.
So. If she was willing to go through that sort of effort, I figured that it was pretty much my obligation to do something as easy as purchasing a few drinks at a store. She actually didn't even need to ask me to do it. I felt that I probably would have done something like that regardless.
Ahh, what's happening here…
Am I perhaps turning into a functional member of society who actually takes other people's feelings into account or something?
Next thing you know, I'm going to start seeing little purple aliens popping up around every corner and I'll hum 'pururin, pururin' in my sleep… It's all a conspiracy, gufufu.
I knocked myself on the back of my head to bring myself back to reality. Ugh, my mind really had a tendency to go off the tracks in the worst way possible when I was physically uncomfortable.
With those worthless thoughts out of the way, I refocused my mind and concentrated on my pedaling.
Before long, I found myself slowing down and pulling my bicycle up to the entrance of one of the smaller convenience stores in the downtown district.
I made quick work of locking up my bike, and after a few moments, I was walking through the door, hands tucked deep into my pockets.
The little bell, the one above the door that would signal the entrance of a customer, rang, and I was greeted by a kindly looking, older gentleman who was standing behind the counter.
"Good evening!"
He said so with an energy that seemed way beyond his years.
"O-Oh. Yeah, you too."
Having been caught slightly by surprise, I managed to utter out a weak and quiet greeting as I turned my eyes away. I-It wasn't because I felt awkward or anything… I just didn't want to ruin his good mood with my rotten eyes, that was all.
With a grin, he turned back to his newspaper and left me to shop in peace.
Despite myself, I let out a small sigh.
I'm glad he didn't try to rope me into a conversation about the weather or something equally as trivial… Sometimes shop owners would do that just because you were the only one in the store and it'd make you feel horribly out of place or uncomfortable.
I came here to shop, not talk! I came here to peruse, not introduce! …
It wasn't that I particularly minded chatting with strangers… but it was just way too early for that. Yeah, that was it. I felt that the saying: "don't even dare talk to me until I get coffee in my system!" was in full effect here.
Of course, I didn't really drink coffee so that type of thing didn't exactly apply to me. But then again, I suppose MAX coffee was technically coffee despite all the sugar and cream and everything added to it, but… Ah, well whatever.
I was just glad that he knew to leave me alone.
After the conclusion of that pitifully short conversation, I walked into the chilled drink aisle and began to examine the selection.
As I stared at that stocked refrigerator, I felt slightly overwhelmed.
Truth be told, it wasn't like I really knew what the others liked or anything. Sure, Yukinoshita obviously liked her tea and I knew that Yuigahama was partial to anything sugary, but as for the specifics, I had to say that I was at a loss.
What did girls drink anyway…
After a minute or two of intense inward concentration, I shrugged and decided to just grab a liter bottle of aloe drink and a large container of some sort of vitamin-infused water.
At least this way, there would be options to choose from. If someone didn't like the mildly sweet taste of the aloe drink, they could opt to drink the vitamin water instead. And for a person who didn't like the plain taste of water-type drinks, they could go for the aloe. It was a win-win, Hachiman style!
By the way, water-type drinks huh… what the heck, that sounds a little bit too close to Pokémon for my liking. If all of a sudden I start saying, "MAX Coffee, use ice (coffee) beam!" then know that I've officially lost it.
Grabbing the drinks from the shelf, I made my way over to the front counter to pay. After placing them on the glass surface, I was unexpectedly met with a smile from the person across me.
"Hello there. Did you find everything to be alright?" the man asked, a small grin on his prickly chin.
I blinked, my hand pausing on my wallet as I registered that greeting.
"Uh, fine."
I responded with a simple response while rubbing at the back of my neck. Even after all this time, it looked like my social mastery tree was still missing a point or two…
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but are you buying all of this for yourself?"
The man leaned over somewhat, his beige jacket making a crinkling noise as it brushed against the counter. His smile, and overall demeanor, seemed wry somehow.
"Ah, no. It's for a… meeting that I'm attending later today. I'm supposed to bring the drinks."
I responded with a straightforward answer. The word that had initially popped up in my mind was party, but I thought that answering it in a way like that was just a little too cheesy.
That was what both Yuigahama and Yukinoshita had called it when it had been brought up the other day, but even so, it wasn't like I was under a contract to do the same or anything.
"Ah, okay. I was about to say that drinking that much on your own would probably be pretty bad for you," the man said. "You may be young, but being young and healthy are two completely different things. Heck, when I was your age…"
Inwardly, I started beating my head against the wall. Ahhhhhh… So much for knowing not to bother me huh…
I guess this guy's one of those types that become big ol' chatterboxes once you get them started. I'd fallen for this exact trap too many times before, mainly because my dad was the exact same way.
It wasn't like I was all that annoyed at the man for wanting to talk or anything, but I did have somewhere to be.
I considered just interrupting him by handing him my money and hoping he would get the hint, but that seemed unnecessarily rude, and besides it wasn't like I had the nerve to do something like that anyways. I was considering my options when suddenly, my eye caught on something.
"Um, excuse me? What's that?"
The man, Hiro, I saw now that I'd had a chance to look at his nametag, paused mid-sentence and looked behind him to where I was pointing.
"Oh, these? These are genuine Destiny medallions. Believe it or not, I'm actually an authorized seller," he said as he opened up the display case. "Which one was the one that caught your eye?"
I pointed to the one that had, and he grabbed it before handing it to me.
"Let me tell you, it was quite the battle getting the Destiny Company to authorize me, you know how those suits are. But even so, I still think it was worth it. I wouldn't say they're big sellers or anything, but they really add a sense of class to the store you know?"
I looked down at the golden trinket and couldn't help a little smile from crossing my face.
"Er, how much for this one?" I asked him, holding it up in my free hand.
"Un, that one?" He said with a rap of a finger on his chin. "It's usually 3000, but I'll give you a special deal today! 2500 for it! No tax!"
2500 yen huh… Uwah. That wasn't a small amount at all, what the heck.
And this guy… he seemed honest enough, but how did I know he didn't just say that the price was normally 3000 when it really wasn't? For all I know, the normal price might just be 500 yen and he marked it up on the spot under the guise of giving me a deal…
I looked down at the trinket in my hand once again.
That most likely wasn't true though. I could tell by the craftsmanship alone that the item was of a particularly high quality. It definitely wasn't some cheap knockoff like something you'd find at a truck vendor parked on a cross-street at Kaihin Makuhari.
"Right. I'll take it."
I eventually said so, as I reached into my wallet and pulled out every last bill in there. However, as I did, I couldn't help but cringe slightly.
I'm so sorry wallet-chan. I'll try to feed you some other time, okay? I won't let you starve in this cold winter…
After prying the money from my hands and inputting the appropriate commands into the register, the man laughed.
"You made a good choice. That's my personal favorite," he said good naturedly, whilst scratching at a hair on his chin. "I hope you're planning on giving that to someone special. It would be a waste if you didn't."
I paused briefly and looked at his absent smile. "Uh. Yeah," I answered simply.
"Good. Will that be all for you today then?"
I nodded and he handed me the bag with my purchases in it.
It appeared that the engraved medallion even came with its own little carrying box.
"Thank you for doing business!" the man said and stooped down slightly for a bow.
My initial reaction was to scratch my neck in surprise.
Ah… Wasn't it usually the other way around? I'm pretty sure you have it backwards there, sir. The younger person is supposed to be the one bowing.
Because of this, I felt slightly embarrassed so I gave him an awkward wave and made my way out of the shop as quickly as possible.
When I did, I paused in front of the store's entrance. I pulled the little box containing the trinket from the bag and looked at it once again.
It really was nice…
I wasn't usually one to give in and spend impulsively, but I couldn't say that I regretted my purchase by any means. I stared at it for another lingering moment before snapping the box shut.
Anyways, around this time of year, doing something like this was all in the name of the holiday spirit, I suppose.
Mounting my bicycle, I set off towards my destination, feeling slightly less cold despite the still freezing weather.
x x x
I knocked on the door once. Then twice. Then three times. However, even after several tries, there seemed to be no immediate answer.
Narrowing my eyes slightly, I put my ear to the door, only to be met with the muffled sounds of talking and some laughing on the other side.
Come on now... Don't ignore me, it's too cruel… If I can hear you, you can most certainly hear me…
Or was that wrong? Maybe it was because I could hear them that they couldn't hear me. Their happy voices were probably overpowering the sounds of my feeble knocks or something along those lines.
Better try harder then.
I raised my knuckles to knock again when suddenly, the door opened and revealed what lay beyond it.
"Oh, so it was you."
Yukinoshita Yukino was the one to say that, and with a sly smile on her face at that. She was wearing a loose-fitting light grey sweater and a pair of dark leggings that hugged her slender legs. A pair of obnoxiously adorable kitten slippers was adorning her otherwise bare feet.
"So you heard the knocks the first time and you decided to just ignore it for a while then… Those are some nice manners you have there."
I said so with what was probably a frown on my face.
But like seriously though, it was cold out here, ya know? Even in this apartment hallway with fancy heating and temperature control, it was still rather chilly.
Yukinoshita slightly tilted her head in response.
"Well, you were the only guest I had invited that hadn't shown up yet. I assumed it was you who was knocking, so I decided that there was no particular rush for me to answer. After all, I've read that certain strains of bacteria are particularly resilient to the cold. I figured you could wait."
"Still treating me like a germ, huh..." I said with a dull expression on my face.
It was really starting to seem like Yukinoshita would never outgrow this one particular joke. I mean, was it just me or did Yukinon like toootally need some new zingers?
She merely offered an overly sweet smile in response to my statement, and I rolled my eyes before speaking.
"Once again, your manners are pretty terrible. I'm pretty sure this isn't how you're supposed to speak to a guest."
After all, she was the one who had initially invited me to her apartment. Keeping me standing in the hallway and insulting me while I held a heavy bag filled with drinks was kind of rude, no? I guess that was just par for the course when this particular girl was involved though.
"Oh, is that so? Well, since you're not technically standing in my apartment right now, I don't think it is proper to refer to you as a guest. As such, I think the way that I'm speaking to you right now is perfectly appropriate."
Still… Leave it to Yukinoshita to say something that harsh. I opened my mouth to throw out some other response, but was halted by a new voice.
"Is that Hikki?"
As we were speaking, a voice called out from somewhere beyond.
No, not the grave.
It sounded like it was coming from the kitchen or perhaps the living room inside the apartment.
"Yes Yuigahama-san, it appears that Hikigaya-kun has finally decided to show up."
Yukinoshita said this, her face turned slightly over her shoulder, when she heard that question.
"Hey, it's not like I tried to show up late. You try biking through traffic in this weather… It's totally ridiculous," I said.
Traffic was normally pretty bad in getting to Matsuhiro, (where Yukinoshita's apartment was located) but factor in the type of weather we were having today, and it became an even bigger mess. I felt lucky that I was able to make it here at all.
Yukinoshita let out a small sigh before answering.
"Don't you ever tire of making so many excuses?"
She shook her head playfully, and though her words might have sounded sarcastic and offensive to a third party, I recognized that those too were playful.
I was about to vehemently say, "It's not an excuse! It's the truth!" but I stopped when Yukinoshita stepped aside and fixed me with an expectant gaze, one that said something like 'are you going to come in already or should I slam this door in your face?'
I decided to step into her apartment before she really did change her mind.
As I walked past her, I immediately felt a gust of warm air envelop me.
What is this… this… overwhelmingly pleasant sensation? I thought this as I reveled in the toasty atmosphere.
Ah, this must be what it's like to live in the lap of luxury, huh?
Our home only had a kotatsu and no heater, so I wasn't used to feeling so warm without having to lie down first.
I felt my muscles automatically loosen up and my body start to relax as I stood there, fixed to the spot by my sudden comfortableness.
"Is there a problem Hikigaya-kun?"
I snapped out of my relaxed state upon hearing Yukinoshita's icy voice.
"Huh? No."
She shot me a funny look, but then turned her attention away from me somewhat abruptly after a second.
"Let's head into the kitchen, then. Yuigahama-san is waiting for us."
I nodded, and we both walked further into the apartment. Like Yukinoshita had said, Yuigahama-san was waiting for us in the kitchen.
"Yahallo Hikki!"
"Sup."
I gave Yuigahama a short greeting as I set down the drinks I had bought on the kitchen counter.
"What's that Hikki? What'd you bring?"
Yuigahama asked me that question in her easily excitable way. After having set the items down, I responded.
"Just some drinks. I didn't know what you guys liked, so I just bought some aloe drink and vitamin water. I hope that's alright."
"Mmm, yeah! I love aloe juice!" Yuigahama happily replied.
So my plan worked out after all. At least I got that part right.
"Yes, that's fine Hikigaya-kun."
Yukinoshita expressed a similar sense of satisfaction with my work, and I nodded. It was uncommon that she would express approval for anything related to me, so it felt oddly refreshing. However, it was short lived, as what she said next seemed to cancel out that rare scrap of praise.
"Actually, I'm impressed that you managed not to mess up your assigned task too badly. And here I was expecting you to ill advisedly bring over a case of MAX coffee or something like that."
Yukinoshita said something that was highly typical of her. But it wasn't like she was wrong.
"Nah, if I were to spend money on a value-pack, I wouldn't share it."
I waved her off as I responded. MAX coffee wasn't cheap, ya know. And if I bought it for these two, they probably wouldn't end up enjoying it anyways, so it'd be a waste in the end. No, that black gold was better saved for my own personal use.
"What a completely expected response…" Yukinoshita muttered with a small smile on her face.
"That's a totally gross way of putting it, but I'm still glad you didn't bring coffee…" Yuigahama ended up saying.
After the moment had passed, Yukinoshita set about preparing a pot of tea while Yuigahama and I went into the living room to wait for her.
"So… are you excited for Christmas, Hikki? Got any big plans?"
Yuigahama asked this after we both sat down on opposite ends of the plush leather couch.
"Mmm, not really. I'll probably stay in. Read manga or something."
I answered her without taking all that much time to think about it. Although we did all end up meeting last year to go shopping and to exchange gifts, that was something that was out of the norm. A typical Christmas for me usually played out something more like the scenario I had just described.
"Eh? That sounds totally boring!"
Hey woman… You can badmouth me but leave my literary tastes out of it…
But really… What would I do instead though? Wander around the streets, prancing and dancing, yelling 'holiday spirit everyone~!' to everyone I see? Pfft. Fat chance.
I ended up shrugging at her statement. After a moment passed, Yuigahama, expectedly, was the one to resume the conversation with a small laugh.
"Eheh. I really wish we could go out again like we did last year but my parents are taking me on a vacation this year, so it can't be helped I guess…"
Oh. I remember that she had mentioned something like this before, but the details were murky to me.
"Oh, right. Where are you going again?"
"O-Oh? Oh! China!" Yuigahama hesitated for a second before answering. "Yeah, we're gonna go see the great wall, and the unbidden palace, and oh! Probably some pandas too!"
"Unbidden huh… Totally wrong. It's called the forbidden palace," I corrected her.
Unbidden palace? That just sounds like some sort of seedy love hotel or something…
"Ughh, I hate it when you do that Hikki," she said with a half-lidded glare. "If you're able to correct me, then that means you understood what I meant. That should be good enough, shouldn't it?!" Yuigahama asked, indignation burning in her eyes.
Classic airhead logic. Sure, I understood what she meant, but if I didn't correct her, she would go around propagating her wrong ideas and would just end up embarrassing herself further. At least if I corrected her now, the only one that would be able to witness her embarrassment would be me.
Couldn't she see that I was doing her a favor here?
"What were you saying about pandas Yuigahama-san?"
Yukinoshita's voice seemed to appear out of nowhere as she entered the living room with a tray of tea related items in her hands. I stood up to take it from her, but she shooed me away with an open palm like I was some sort of bothersome insect.
Shrugging, I took my seat on the couch once again as Yuigahama began to speak.
"Well, Hikki was asking me about what I was going to do in China, so I told him I'm gonna see pandas! Oh, and the unforbidden palace or something, too."
I officially give up. This girl is beyond saving…
"I see." Yukinoshita paused slightly before nodding in understanding. "…If you end up taking pictures, would you mind sharing them with me?"
"Of course Yukinon! I'll take plenty just cus' you asked!"
"Thank you."
Yukinoshita then took a sip of her tea and closed her eyes as if she were completely and totally satisfied.
Oi… exploiting Yuigahama to satisfy your panda obsession… That's gotta be some kind of new low right there, even for a panda-lover like yourself…
"So, shall we decide on what to watch then?"
Yukinoshita asked this after she took another sip of her tea. In response to the question, Yuigahama gave an excited cheer.
"Yeah! What kind of movie should we watch I wonder?!"
I merely shrugged.
"I have taken the liberty of compiling a list of possible films that we might all enjoy, and have added them to my JetFlix queue. All we have to do now is browse the selection and then choose one we can all agree on."
"Okay! Sounds good."
Yukinoshita grabbed the remote off the coffee table and inputted the appropriate commands.
The app for JetFlix popped up almost immediately and showed us all of the films that were assembled in her queue.
Hmm, Yukinoshita was surprisingly tech-savvy it seemed. She was able to pop up the menu with only a couple of clicks…
However, my admiration for her was dashed instantly when I saw the list of movies that she had deemed as "something we all might enjoy."
"Pan-san, Pan-san 2: Revenge of the Hidden Forest, Pan-san 3: Electric Igloo, the animated series of Pan-san, the new animated series of Pan-san and Pan-san: The Remastered Edition?"
I asked all of this incredulously while pointing a disbelieving stare in Yukinoshita's direction.
"Hmm? Is there something wrong with the movies I've chosen? The Pan-san films are made for all ages, so there's something for everyone. Even a rotten apple like you should be able to derive some enjoyment out of them."
Yukinoshita turned to me and answered with a rather heated answer.
Getting a little defensive there now, are we?
Although her tone was stern and her blue eyes were fixed on me somewhat piercingly, I couldn't help but find the whole thing somewhat amusing.
"Nah, it's not like there's anything wrong with it. I guess I was just surprised that JetFlix has all of the films already."
I brushed her off easily with a disarming comment. It's not like I particularly minded her strange obsession or anything, anyways.
She seemed to take surprise at my statement because she deflated somewhat, her tense shoulders relaxing.
"Oh… I see. Yes, JetFlix has worked out a deal with the Destiny Company to acquire new releases within six months of the theatrical release." Yukinoshita turned slightly away when she answered, seeming to shrink on herself a little bit. "Y-You see… It's a relationship of mutual benefit because not only does it increase exposure to the Destiny brand by allowing a greater audience to see the films but it's also highly profitable for the JetFlix company because of the spike in viewership. Essentially, this type of thing is often referred to as a-"
"Waaah Yukinon, no more technical talk! Let's just choose which one we wanna see already!"
Yuigahama interrupted Yukinoshita's tirade with an exasperated exclamation.
I silently thanked Yuigahama for doing that, because if she hadn't, I probably would've myself.
I sort of found it endearing when Yukinoshita got into that type of embarrassed mood, but… well I would've… Eventually…
"A-Ah… Sorry Yuigahama-san, I suppose I did get a little carried away there…"
Yukinoshita spoke with a slight sense of guilt and rubbed her shoulder awkwardly with one hand.
"Ah, I'm not upset or anything! I just wanna watch soon, y'know? It's just that I gotta get home sort of early, so we can't afford to waste any time!"
"Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. My apologies."
"Nah, it's alright, it's alright! As long as I get home somewhat early, it should be okay. My mom and I probably won't head to the mall until around 10 tomorrow morning, so if I get home a little late, that should be fine too…"
Ah, okay then. That explained things.
I wasn't really sure what they were talking about at first since it seemed that they were incorporating information that they'd exchanged during a previous conversation into this one, but now I understood.
It looked like Yuigahama was planning on going shopping with her mom the next day, and as a result, wanted to get home early so that she could get enough sleep and would be well rested.
I too kind of wanted to head home, but it wasn't because I had anything to do the next morning… Or the next day, really. Or the rest of the month. It was just that I always naturally gravitated towards the comfort of my own home.
It's not like I'm not having fun with you guys or anything, but I really just want to go home… Oh yeah, and I never want to work, either.
As I was thinking these random, rotten thoughts, Yukinoshita eventually spoke decisively.
"I see. Alright then, so let's decide. Do you have any particular preference Yuigahama-san?"
"Nope! Whatever's fine with me!" Yuigahama answered cheerfully.
Ahh, she just totally stole my answer right there. I was about to reply in the same way when Yukinoshita turned to me and asked me a question in an unusually small voice.
"Ah… do you have any preference then? …Hikigaya-kun?"
Her odd tone for some reason caused my voice to catch in my throat slightly. Like a disease, her hesitance seemed to be oddly infectious.
"Ah, no. Not really. I'm okay with whatever too."
I turned my eyes to the screen as I answered her.
"Oh. I see."
In my peripheral vision, I saw her turn away.
"If that's the case, I would like it if we could all watch Pan-san 3: Electric Igloo together. I actually haven't seen that one yet."
"Whaaa? You haven't seen it yet Yukinon? It's already been on JetFlix for a week now! That's so surprising."
Yuigahama expressed her shock with a loud voice and a wave of her arms. Although I wasn't nearly as showy with my own surprise, that didn't mean that what Yukinoshita said didn't catch me off guard as well.
"What, did you not know that JetFlix had already uploaded it or something?" I asked.
Upon hearing me, Yukinoshita twisted slightly away in embarrassment.
"W-Well, it's not that I didn't know that it was there…"
Although the room was slightly chilly despite the heating, I could tell that there was another reason for her cheeks turning pink.
"It's just that… I knew that our gathering was this weekend and I was saving it… So that we could all watch… together."
. . .
Ah…
I found myself slightly surprised by Yukinoshita's statement.
While Yukinoshita had certainly been a lot more open in recent times, this type of honest affection still seemed to come out of left field. For some reason, I felt my heart beat slightly faster.
"Aww Yukinon!" Yuigahama launched at Yukinoshita and engulfed her in a gigantic hug. They both ended up in a big pile on the loveseat while I watched them from the three-seater couch that I was currently on. "You waited all week just so you could see it with us?! That's so nice!"
While Yukinoshita might have normally peeled off Yuigahama with a sheepish grin and a friendly yet sarcastic statement, this time, she just hugged Yuigahama back with a small smile.
"Yes… Well, I figured that it would be more memorable for me if I had company to enjoy it with." Yukinoshita's face was beet-red at this point, and she spoke in an uncharacteristically soft voice. After a moment, she peeled away from Yuigahama before asking something.
"So there are no objections then?"
"Nuh uh!"
"Nope."
I responded in a sort of quiet voice. If I had held any reluctance to watch the movie before, I didn't now.
"I see. Okay. I'll start the movie then."
Yukinoshita turned the lights in the room off, and then with a few clicks of her fingers on the buttons of the remote, the movie began to play and we all began to relax.
But as the intro started and the screen dissolved in a flicker of bright colors against the darkness of that apartment living room, I couldn't help but notice that my eyes weren't drawn to the screen. Instead, they were focused on someone else.
x x x
"Wah! That was actually such a good movie!"
Yuigahama made this declaration loudly and happily once the credits of the film came on screen.
"Yes, that was probably my favorite Pan-san movie so far and I don't say that lightly either," Yukinoshita said as she relaxed against the back of the couch, a small smile spreading across her face.
"I bet you said the exact same thing about the others when they first came out too…" I spoke.
Yukinoshita turned to look at me, and because the room was still dark save for the dim light of the television screen, it was hard for me to read her expression.
"It's not my fault that each subsequent movie is better than the last. I'm just being honest about my praise for the Destiny Company's efforts. They're truly masters of the craft."
"Right… The craft of animating cartoon pandas really is a dying art…" I added offhandedly.
There was a pause in the room; a brief moment of silence before, "Does that mean that you didn't enjoy the movie?"
"What? Nah. I actually really liked it."
I gave an honest and natural answer.
Really though, the movie was actually pretty darn entertaining.
If you really boiled it down, you would see that there were essentially two types of kid's movies.
In the first category, there were the ones that were theoretically aimed at children, but after all was said and done, ended up telling an engaging and captivating story that presented the viewer with relatable and universal themes.
Those were the types of films that lasted the test of time and were beloved by everyone—both young and old.
…And then there were those that were mindless cash grabs that were more concerned with selling toys during the holiday season than making any attempt to say something meaningful.
I concluded that Pan-san 3: Electric Igloo was definitely of the former category, and at that, it was done incredibly well from top to bottom. I couldn't help but enjoy myself as I was watching that shifty-eyed but kind-natured panda bounce across the screen.
"Oh… Really?" Yukinoshita asked with a slight hint of surprise in her voice.
"What, you think I'd lie about something like this?" I raised an eyebrow.
"No. I believe you."
"Ah."
I ended up answering in this way after Yukinoshita gave such an assured and confident response. Again, there was a brief silence before the sound of a loud voice cut through the air.
"If even Hikki liked it, then that's proof that it was a great movie!" Yuigahama said.
"Hey now… I like plenty of movies. They're just ones you guys haven't seen before," I defended myself.
"Uh huh…" Yuigahama nodded disbelievingly for a second before suddenly remembering something. "Oh! What time is it?"
Yukinoshita started slightly at Yuigahama's sudden outburst, but after understanding the situation, checked her phone and responded.
"It is 9:40 PM, Yuigahama-san."
Yuigahama simply closed her eyes and then gave a short nod.
"Ah, okay… It's getting late. I think I should probably head home now, then."
"Yes. I suppose it wouldn't do to keep your mother waiting. You should also be well-rested for your shopping trip tomorrow."
"Yup," Yuigahama said this as she stood up and began to stretch. A yawn came out of her mouth that sounded something like "Owahhhh~" and once she was done, she turned back to Yukinoshita and gave her a large hug.
"Thanks for everything Yukinon! The party today sure was fun, huh?"
"Yes. It was no problem at all Yuigahama-san." Yukinoshita hugged the other girl back lightly, and then spoke again. "Ah, but did you really have that much fun though? All we did was watch a movie."
Yuigahama rested her face gently against Yukinoshita's shoulder and hummed happily before saying, "Of course I did. Any time I get to spend with my friends is the best time I can imagine."
Yukinoshita's cheeks reddened slightly and she mumbled something that sounded like, "I see."
I felt my own cheeks heat up as well and I turned from that display.
"Thanks for coming too, Hikki. Without you, the party wouldn't have been the same."
Yuigahama must have finished her hug with Yukinoshita because she eventually turned to me and addressed me with that embarrassing statement.
I turned to her somewhat unsurely and couldn't help but awkwardly rub the back of my neck in response.
"Ah… Yeah."
Yuigahama simply gave a large smile and then turned back to Yukinoshita. "Alright Yukinon, I'm gonna get going now. I just hope it doesn't like snow or something on my way back."
"Do you want me to walk you home?" I instinctively offered.
Yuigahama shook her head. "Thanks Hikki, but I'll be ok. The station's not too far from here."
That was true. I nodded. "Alright. Later then."
"Okay. Bye bye!"
Yukinoshita walked Yuigahama to the door and after exchanging their own set of goodbyes, the door was closed and the only ones left in that apartment were me and the owner herself.
Yukinoshita.
In a wave of absolute and soul-shattering embarrassment, I suddenly realized the awkwardness of the situation and the utter magnitude of my oversight.
"A-Ah…" I fumbled out immediately, my voice cracking and shaking.
Normally I would've left instantly upon hearing Yuigahama's declaration of heading home, but for some reason I forgot that I was supposed to do that and ended up missing my timing window… It must've been the warm and comfortable heating of the apartment that caused me to lose my bearings there…
Now, I was left alone here in Yukinoshita's apartment without any sort of buffer. I immediately felt a wave of guilt.
Ahh, this is no good…
If I was causing Yukinoshita discomfort or unease by being here, then I felt like I was ready to die right then and there.
"What's the matter Hikigaya-kun?"
Yukinoshita looked at me with a curious expression upon noticing my slightly nervous disposition.
Surprisingly however, she didn't seem to be uncomfortable—at least not overwhelmingly so. That was a good sign.
"Ah, I guess I should get going too then, huh…"
I muttered this as I stood from the couch and grabbed my coat.
"Hm? Do you have something to do tomorrow morning as well?"
Yukinoshita asked me this with what seemed like genuine curiosity, and as a result, I paused where I was standing.
"Ah… no, not really…"
"Oh. I figured as much. You having plans on a Saturday morning would be quite the Christmas miracle indeed."
Wasn't that sort of a mean thing to say right there Yukinon?! Ah well, regardless, what she said was probably completely accurate, but it wasn't like I was going to give her the satisfaction of dissing me so easily like that!
Feeling reinvigorated by her verbal attack, I bandied back a retort.
"Hey now, I've got plenty of things to do tomorrow. First, I'll sleep, then I'll sleep, then I might have some dinner before sleeping again. Now that you mention it, I actually have a really long day ahead of me."
Yukinoshita chuckled lightly.
"I should've known better than to expect anything more from the master of idleness himself," she said with a small smile on her lips.
A short but not uncomfortable pause passed between us. However, it was once again Yukinoshita who broke that quiet and asked me a question.
"So, do you need to help Komachi-san with her homework or something?"
"Huh? Komachi's homework… No, she doesn't need help…"
I responded with something like confusion on my face. I didn't quite understand what she was getting at by asking me something like that so out of the blue.
"So why the rush then?" she asked.
I brought my eyes up to her blue ones, and was surprised by what I saw there. She seemed to be genuinely confused about why I wanted to leave when it appeared that I had nowhere pressing to be the next day.
I wasn't exactly sure how best to handle the situation, so I ended up doing what I did best. Spitting out the first thing that came to my mind and hoping that it was the right thing to say.
"Ah… Well…" I said, beginning to rub the back of my neck out of habit. "With Yuigahama gone, you know… I just don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything…"
Crap! Crap! That was definitely not the right thing… I ended up instinctively averting my eyes to the floor out of embarrassment, but after a second of silence, I eventually brought my eyes back up to see her reaction.
She blinked, surprised.
"Oh."
Way to go Hachiman… As if it wasn't bad enough before…
With a heavy breath, I tightened my grip on my coat and finally spoke.
"Alright. I'll get going then. See you later."
I began to move towards the door, but was interrupted by a quiet, smooth voice.
"…I'm not uncomfortable, Hikigaya-kun."
I paused mid-step. Then I turned around to her slightly, and couldn't help but feel my cheeks heat up slightly.
"O-Oh."
Quite plain and simply, I was taken completely off guard by those words. After spending these past few years around one another, I knew that Yukinoshita didn't think that I was some terrible person or anything, but to have her say words like that so plainly was something strange.
"…I-If you'd like, you could stay a while longer."
She raised her arm slightly, and then almost immediately lowered it in what was an incredibly awkward gesture.
Not quite knowing how to respond, I settled for a slight nod.
"Er… Sure."
Awkwardly, I retook my seat on the couch.
"…Would you like some more tea?"
Hearing that question, I mumbled a quiet affirmative. She nodded and after collecting the tray and teapot, she left to the kitchen, leaving me to sit alone on her couch.
I let out a small sigh of relief.
I had accepted her offer to stay more out of surprise and instinct than anything, but now that I was here, questions and doubts were beginning to assault my mind—the biggest being: what exactly were we going to do now?
The situation didn't exactly feel overly awkward or anything, but without a clearly outlined, specific reason for my being here, I felt out of place. I guess this was what normal people did when they hung out, but because I had few social experiences in situations like this, I felt completely unprepared and as a result, incredibly nervous.
"Would you like any milk with your tea?"
Yukinoshita's smooth voice called out to me suddenly and brought me out of my thoughts.
"Nah. I'll take it plain please," I immediately answered.
"Really? I've always thought that you were a fan of sweet things," she said with a quiet laugh.
After setting the tray of tea on the table, she began to pour the steaming red tea into two tiny, porcelain teacups.
"Yeah, I guess that's true…" I conceded.
Expectedly, it was an acute observation on Yukinoshita's part. Consciously or not, it did seem that I enjoyed sweet things. Chocolate, MAX coffee, cakes, MAX coffee… they were all delicious because of their sweetness. But for whatever reason, I just felt that adding anything sweet to a freshly brewed batch of tea acted as a sort of disservice to it. It somehow ruined the taste.
"I don't know. Maybe it's the nostalgia speaking, but I think tea tastes best plain," I eventually said.
Yukinoshita seemed to pause for a second before she finished pouring the hot liquid into the porcelain cups. She then lifted one of the cups to me and I accepted it with a quiet thanks.
"Nostalgia huh? I'm surprised that such a concept even has a place in your mental vocabulary," she said after taking a sip.
"Well, of course it does. Our environments do end up playing the biggest role in shaping us after all. If all that time spent drinking bitter black tea with you and Yuigahama didn't end up having an effect on me, that would be highly surprising, wouldn't it?"
Yukinoshita didn't answer for a second but eventually chuckled quietly.
"What?" I ended up asking. I wasn't sure what it was that she found particularly amusing about what I'd said.
Regardless, it seemed that Yukinoshita was in a good mood today, what with all her quiet laughter. Even after all this time, Yukinoshita wasn't one to burst out laughing uncontrollably or anything, nor could she be called the life of the party in most situations, but it seemed like she was a lot more open lately. She seemed to softly chuckle more often, at least as far as I could tell from when I was around her.
"Ah, it's nothing. Once again, that answer just seems so typical of you," she said as she finally regained her composure.
"Oh," I said as I sipped at my cup.
Unsurprisingly, the liquid was too hot for me to drink comfortably and ended up causing me to recoil as it singed the inner part of my mouth. "Ow. Damn cat's tongue."
Yukinoshita let out another soft chuckle, and this time I decided to comment on it.
"Laughing at my pain huh… You could at least try and pretend to have sympathy or something…"
When her chuckle had subsided somewhat, she removed her hand from her mouth, revealing a comfortable smile.
"No, it's not that I find your pain amusing, Hikigaya-kun. Well, not all that much anyway."
"You just contradicted yourself right there…" I said in amazement.
Still, I looked at her with a curious expression on my face. Because she had spoken in a somewhat vague way, I wasn't able to grasp her meaning immediately. She must have sensed my curiosity because she elaborated shortly after.
"I just find it strange somehow," she eventually said.
For my part, I was still totally in the dark.
"What's strange?"
Icy blue orbs met mine as she turned to look at me at me. An instinct to turn away overtook me, but I quickly fought to bring it under control.
"That despite how little we communicate, how much it seems that we understand about each other."
I looked at her confusedly and my breath caught.
"Ah…"
I couldn't help but let out a breath as I struggled to gather my thoughts upon hearing her words.
Those words sounded familiar somehow, as if they had been spoken before some time in the past. But, as was the case with back then, now too did they seem slightly illogical.
I had said it once before and I still held the belief steadfastly that words were an imperfect form of communication. Although the alternative of not communicating didn't present a significantly better solution, words more often than not didn't solve anything.
Even if a million words were exchanged, if the person you were attempting to communicate with didn't want you to understand her, then you wouldn't.
But maybe… that wasn't the case here. As counter-intuitive as it seemed, what Yukinoshita had said just now felt correct somehow... I couldn't exactly place my feelings about the situation, but what she said wasn't false.
And besides, we all knew that Yukinoshita didn't lie.
When I turned my face back to hers, she seemed to be comfortably sipping at her tea, her eyes still loosely focused on me.
By the looks of it, it seemed that she was waiting for a response and wouldn't say anything further unless I answered her first.
So I took a deep breath.
"…Well, the Japanese language isn't perfect you know. Maybe it's better like this."
I quickly sipped at my tea after I finished speaking so that the burning liquid would stop me from saying anything else totally embarrassing. Even I wasn't sure what I meant by what I said, but Yukinoshita didn't seem to press me on it. Perhaps she had grown bored of the subject… or perhaps she'd somehow understood what I'd meant with those words.
"I think it is."
The smile on her lips grew larger behind her teacup.
I gave a slight nod, and a comfortable silence fell over the apartment as we sipped at our warm drinks.
"So…" I eventually said. "What exactly should we do?"
She put her finger to her chin for a second and tapped it in thought before answering.
"Well, watching another film is probably out of the question since it's getting late," she said. "I suppose we could just talk for a little bit."
I coughed. Talk for a little bit eh…
"Two loners forcing themselves to talk to each other huh? That can only end well…" I spoke wryly.
"Hmph, don't make it sound like socializing is some sort of exceptionally difficult task for me. Besides, I don't take kindly to that term."
I raised an eyebrow at her haughty declaration.
"What, loner? It's not like it's a bad thing," I said.
"Still, I just… don't like it," she said with a slight pout that I couldn't help but find oddly… endearing. "Regardless, I can't help but feel that you're slightly wrong on both counts…"
"Wrong? How so?" I asked.
"Well… What you said about us being loners…" She began to fidget with the edge of her sleeve, and her eyes that were matching mine earlier, turned away slightly. "That might've been true in the past... but things have changed, haven't they?"
Unlike her normal speaking voice, her voice now was soft and quiet, lacking any sign of sharp edge or forceful intonation. Although it sounded somewhat timid, it also sounded… at peace. It was how I imagined that she naturally sounded once all the artifices and pretexts were cast away.
"It's wrong of me to speak for you… but as for me, I feel… that I'm not… like I'm no longer…" She took a deep breath before finishing saying what she truly felt. "That I'm no longer... alone."
She gave me a small but in my eyes, radiant smile as she said that, and my heart stopped beating entirely.
…Or at least it felt that way.
"A-Ah…"
Again, it seemed that my ability to speak completely disappeared after being fixed under those striking eyes.
"I realize that it might be out of line for me to ask this, but…" she spoke softly. "Have they changed for you as well? …Hikigaya-kun?"
Although her question was vague, I felt that I understood her meaning perfectly.
Instinctively, I wanted to spit out some rotten comment or blatant denial, but I immediately stopped myself from doing so. If I did that, I would just be running away and I'd told myself once that doing so never solved anything.
The reflex that I'd built up for myself after years of rejection and denial threatened to rear its ugly head like it had so often in the past, but this time, I chose not to let it.
That genuine thing that I'd wanted… if I were to lie to Yukinoshita in a situation like this, that would essentially be the equivalent of forsaking everything the three of us had gone through together. No, I had to be honest.
I swallowed down the swirl of emotions that had lodged in my throat before speaking.
"Yeah," I started. "Yeah, of course they've changed. I mean… I guess if we were to judge things by the technical definition, it'd be fair to say that I'm not really a loner anymore, huh…?"
I said this somewhat sadly.
It was paradoxical in a way, but I felt a slight tinge of melancholy as I said those words aloud and admitted it to myself.
Despite what I'd often told others, but also myself, I'd become a loner not out of desire, but out of necessity. I was rejected and wasn't given a place to belong among everyone else. But now, when things had changed and I was no longer alone, I felt odd admitting to it. It was funny how the human mind worked sometimes.
But even so, as I forsook that title that I'd so proudly worn once, I couldn't help but a feel of distinct sensation that could only be described as 'bitter-sweet'.
"I suppose that would be technically incorrect, yes," she smiled.
That smile seemed to put whatever worries I'd had at rest, because I instantly felt a weight lift from my chest. "Yeah."
Remarkably, the slightly heavy atmosphere that seemed to hang in the air a few minutes prior dissipated and left us with a calm, toasty feeling instead.
Feeling much more at peace now, I relaxed into the plushness of Yukinoshita's couch.
I was sipping at my warm tea when I noticed something outside the window.
"…Huh? Is it snowing?"
Yukinoshita perked up at this and turned her attention towards the window. After blinking a few times, she responded.
"Oh. It looks like it is." She continued to look out the window with a slightly nervous expression on her face. "I hope Yuigahama-san made it home safely."
"Well, it's been a while since she's left so I think she should be alright," I offered. "Besides, the snow usually doesn't pick up for a while when it first begins. If it just started, the volume and rate shouldn't be all that high."
I answered her using what little scientific knowledge I possessed. Huh… I think I'd heard that on a game show that my dad was watching one time… Or perhaps it was from an episode of Laullen Explollen I saw with Komachi when she was younger… Whatever the case, it sounded smart enough so it was what I went with.
Yukinoshita, however, seemed to disagree because she sent me a dour look.
"That's like asserting that you're more likely to land heads if you flip tails three times first…" she said incredulously. "Without knowing the cloud density and a host of other variables, trying to predict the severity of the precipitation is a fool's errand… Which I suppose explains it all, really."
"Ah… It was just a guess. Geez," I grumbled.
Yukinoshita smiled wanly. "A poor guess."
"Buzz off," I said sourly. I made a show of rolling my eyes, but it wasn't out of genuine irritation. While I might've been offended in the past by her comments, now I saw them as a form of… maybe not affection per se, but something like it.
Realizing that she didn't offer anything in response, I decided to ask her something.
"So do you have plans for Christmas?"
"H-Huh?" She lowered the teacup that was en route to her mouth and gave a surprisingly nervous sounding response.
Coughing once, she set her cup down and gave a more substantial answer. "W-Well… I have an idea of what I want to do… but nothing's really set in stone so far, no."
"Ah, I see. The same goes for me," I nodded.
I completely understood what she meant. When break comes around, you usually have a general outline of what you hope to accomplish, but you don't actually take the time or effort to think about it too excruciatingly beforehand lest you face disappointment when vacation ends and you realize you haven't done a single thing.
The phrase 'whatever happens, happens' was applicable here. The present is called the present because it's a gift!
…Or something corny like that. Hey, at least it was almost Christmas, so it had a little bit of relevance here.
"…So you don't have any plans either?" Yukinoshita sent a glance in my direction as she asked me this.
"Well, nothing that I've explicitly planned out. I might end up seeing a movie if something good comes out though."
"Oh. I understand," she nodded at my statement with a strangely shy look in her eye.
I decided not to comment on it, and instead discretely checked the time on Yukinoshita's wall clock. Seeing that my hunch had been correct and quite a bit of time had passed, I decided that now would probably be the best time to announce my departure.
"It's getting late. I should probably get going now. I don't want to be alone on the train or I might end up becoming the first victim of the holiday season."
She let out a laugh before covering her mouth with her hand.
"With rotten eyes like those? I think you'll scare off any predator before he even comes within a hundred foot radius of you…"
I wanted to say something equally as sarcastic back to her, but her high spirits changed my mind, and I scratched the back of my neck instead.
"Right… Well, actually I guess that's good news. At least my eyes are good for something then."
She paused, a curious look passing over her face, before saying, "Hm, now that's an oddly optimistic thing for you to say."
I shrugged. "Well, I mean things have changed, right?"
Her slight surprise melted into another small smile as she heard what I'd said.
"Yes," she nodded.
Hearing that quiet acknowledgement, I stood up to put on my coat.
"Uh, thanks for everything tonight," I said as I began to make my crawl towards the door. "…I had a good time."
Yukinoshita stood up herself and began walking awkwardly alongside me as we made our eventual paths to the entrance of her apartment. "Of course… It wasn't a problem at all. I had fun as well," she smiled.
When we reached the little nook next to the door, I bent over to slip on my outdoor shoes. After finishing, I stood up to my full height and began to initiate the embarrassing 'goodbye phase' that inevitably accompanied a social meeting.
"Alright… I'll see you later."
"Yes. Monday, correct?"
"Yep. See you then."
I gave her a slight wave as I said this, and seemingly caught off guard, she awkwardly reciprocated the gesture.
We stood there for a second and although I got the strange impression that she either wanted to say or do something else before letting me out, it passed when she finally brushed past me and pulled the door open softly.
I gave her a final nod and walked into the hallway.
Immediately, the heat that I had grown accustomed to in Yukinoshita's apartment vanished and was instead replaced with a slight chilliness.
I made my way further into the hall and was about to press the button for the elevator when a quiet voice called out to me.
"…Hikigaya-kun?"
I paused where I was standing, and turned around slightly to face her.
"Yeah?"
"Be careful out there. It seems to be snowing pretty hard…"
I couldn't fight off the half smile that threatened to cross my lips.
"It's not like I'm not used to the snow by now," I answered.
She whispered something that I couldn't quite hear before giving a small smile, a nod, and then closing the door silently.
Taking that as my cue to leave, I eventually took the elevator car down to the lobby and then exited the lavish apartment building.
After stepping onto the sidewalk, I let out a puff of air through my mouth, feeling oddly at peace.
Despite the beautiful, snowy flakes that fell all around me, the coldness that I had felt earlier was gone.
Hello everyone! With it being the holiday season and all, I just couldn't resist putting down some of my more dramatic stories and working on a fluffy fic like this one.
After reading the new BD bonus novels that were recently translated over on the OREGAIRUSNAFU subreddit, I found myself reinvigorated and itching to write some oregairu fanfic. Reading those really made me miss Watari's distinctive style though, so I decided to exercise a little bit and test myself to see if I could still emulate him somewhat... I don't know if I succeeded but I sure had a blast doing it.
So... I know a lot of people are waiting for the next chapter of Maturity, and I thank you for being patient, but I couldn't stop writing once I'd started this. It was a blast to work on and I hope that the people who are eagerly waiting for updates on my other stories find some enjoyment in this as well. Hopefully it'll tide you over until the next round.
Anyways, there will be more Christmas/holiday elements incorporated into the next few chapters, so look forward to that. I have a pretty good idea of where I want this story to go and as such, it'll be pretty self-contained and shouldn't go on for too long. Also, yay! Yukino/Hachiman fics. As many as there are of those in the fandom, there truly can never be enough.
Either way, I hope you enjoyed reading and do leave a review to tell me what you think. Happy Holidays.