A/N: EDIT: Ouch, that hurts. Real classy with all of those flames and death threats, trolls. At this point its just mean T_T
DOUBLE UPDATE DAY!
Because frankly, I don't think the latest chapter of "Taking Flight" which I'm about to update, is going to get a lot feedback. Makes me sad, that does T_T
As ever, Embers Rule. This will be deleted quickly if folks don't like it. So speak up! Makes yourselves heard!
Should this be a story?
So let's set the scene. Remember when Qrow was searching for Huntsmen in Mistral in Volume Five? There you go.
Since All Things Must Die is nearing its conclusion, it felt...fitting to write an offshoot of it. One in which Naruto didn't hide himself away in the wilderness to rid himself of Kaguya's influence, but rather, tried his hand at a more...unorthodox career.
Get ready to laugh.
As ever, I own no references, themes or memes.
"A story of victory for one person is a story of defeat for someone else.
So why worry about it? Way I see it, we're all going to die of something sooner or later.
Might as well enjoy the time left to us, no? When mine comes, I'll go with a smile on my face and a drink in my hand. So bottoms up!"
~a wise man.
Bottoms Up
An unlucky bird stumbled into a bar.
If there was ever a worse pun, Qrow hadn't heard it.
Rain pattered across a tin roof overhead, producing an awful racked as he pushed the door aside.
Place was a dump no two ways about it; all creme walls and worn brown floors, a dirty green chalkboard for writing menu items, with a tiny kitchen nestled behind a cracked wooden counter. Ladles clanked softly against a strainer hung on a ruined wall, just the kind you'd use to make pasta. A small stove simmered silently beneath it, cooking a pot of...something. He sniffed once and wrinkled his nose. Didn't much smell appetizing. Really, calling it a dump was generous. This place was more a dive than anything else.
Last place you'd expect to find a hero.
A balding man awaited him behind the counter, idly fiddling with a knife and a piece of wood. He didn't look up as he crept closer; nope, grimy bastard wholly focused on his task. A worn blade scratched endlessly against the carving to draw artistry forth from the wood, producing an endless skritch-skritch-skritch sound that threatened to drive the huntsman bad. Not like had any customers to complain. There was only one patron slouched down in the corner. Poor bastard was out cold, one arm loosely cradling two flagons of ale to his chest.
"Regular, or the special?" the barkeep asked.
"I'm actually lookin' for someone." Qrow slid a worn photograph across the countertop. "Goes by the name Shiro these days. You ever heard of 'em? Heard he's a regular around here."
The barkeep didn't look up. He kept scratching at the wood. "Who's askin'?"
"Hey, I'm not some cop, if that's what you mean." his pride bridled a bit at the man's sullen snort. "I need him for a gig. We go way back."
"Way back, huh?" his gaze finally rose, beady eyes intent upon him. "So he's a friend of ours?"
"Yeah, I'd say so." Qrow scratched his chin and hid his wince. "He's a pretty alright guy. Bit of a drinker these days; still he's good in a fight. You seen him?"
...didn't think he had friends." that worn gaze flicked up and down over him. "Doesn't seem the sort."
"Well he knows me, pal."
A beat of silence pushed its way between them and the huntsman immediately cursed himself for the slip. Friends? Not anymore. Not after Summer's death. But if there was one person in Mistral who could help, one sorry soul capable of sorting out this mess; one man who could wrest the Spring Maiden from Raven's tribe...it was this guy. Bastard couldn't die.
"Nope." at length, the barkeep smacked his lips. "Sorry, ain't seen him in a week-
"Stop bullying the birdie, Samson." A rough voice drawled from the corner. "He's askin' for me."
Red eyes snapped to the man in shadows. "Eh?"
Because that drunken bastard wasn't sleeping; not anymore. He looked wide awake, though his hunched posture suggested he'd seen better days. Bleary blue eyes beamed back at him, framed by whiskered cheeks and a shaggy mop of blond hair so pale it had nearly gone white. A tipsy smile greeted him; even as he looked on, the stranger raised his flagon and waved it like a war banner.
"Qrow Branwen!" The man held his cup high in salute, uncaring as it sloshed to and fro. "As I live and breathe. You look like shit."
...yeah, that was him. Cheeky little prick still had a mouth on him.
"Shiro? Really, Naruto?" he snorted as he slid into the chair opposite him. "You couldn't think of a better alias?"
The man grinned and ran a hand through his hair. "Matches the hair, doesn't it?"
...it really does.
When he'd first met the blond he had been just that. Blond. Time -and something altogether worse- had turned those spiky locks white as ash. Not quite Schnee white, but an altogether sharper shade. It wasn't from age; after all, they both knew the reason. Just as he knew the reason the young man before him was soused. After all, what better way to keep a demon contained than to make sure she was drunk off her ass? Seemed like an effective remedy. Some men drank to forget the past. Some men drank to drown their sorrows. And some men drank to keep the world from ending. Naruto was of the latter.
...did Leonardo send you?"
"Nah." he waved him down. "Came here by myself."
"Hmm. Leo." Naruto glowered into his alre. "Fuck 'im. Still don't trust the bastich."
Qrow wrinkled his nose, noticing just how foggy those blue eyes truly were. "Just how drunk are you?"
"Veeeeeeeery drunk, Qrow." Naruto looked up and steadied himself with one arm, swaying in his seat like a sailor at last call."Comes with the territory." a light leer touched those whiskered cheeks. "Or would you rather I let HER out to play." A wink followed. "She's a bit silly when she's drunk, you know. You'd like her."
Kaguya? Not a chance! Bitch was worse than Salem!
"No, no, that's fine." he spoke quickly before the blond could make good on his threat. "Look, I need you for a gig." Silence was all he received and so he took it for acceptance. Or maybe he mistook it. Naruto was hard to read these days. "Its big." leaning across the table, he lowered his voice. "I heard you were in Mistral these days, and...well," the word threatened to choke him, but he willed himself on. "We need your help."
"That so?" His host hiccuped and took another drink. "Must be a reeeaaal rough job if you came all the way out here."
...kinda had to, considering what happened with Beacon."
Naruto took another drink, this one deeper than the last. "What about Beacon?"
Now it was Qrow's turn to flinch. "You don't know?"
The blond cocked his head. "Know what?"
...you, ah, might want another drink."
Naruto raised an arm and the barkeep came by with two flagons, one for each of them. Both were long dry by the time Qrow surmised his terrible tale. It was not a pleasant story. By the end of it, Naruto's face had gone the same shade as his hair.
"Shit." he turned and spat. "Shit, shit shit. Beacon fell? I didn't know." glassy eyes regarded the mug in his hand. A peal of bitter laugher tumbled out of him. "I've been on a bender for years, and I didn't even think to look...
Great. He had his sympathy. Now was the time to push. "Oz wanted to ask you-
"Already up and about, is he now?" his laughter became a snarl. "And what does mister high and mighty want with me?" the flagon creaked under his suddenly pale fingers. "Last I saw him I told him to take that stick and shove it up his ass-
Desperate to prevent a rant, Qrow said the first thing that came to his mind. "Its about Spring."
Naruto perked up, eyes alight. "You know where the Spring Maiden is?
Shit on a stick. He hadn't meant to let that bit slip. Oz would have his hide for spilling the beans like that. Meh. What was the old saying again? In for a penny, in for a pound? Wasn't much point in lyin' to him now. Cheeky bastard would know it if he tried too, broken bastard that he was. Negative-Emotion-Sensing was absolute bullshit.
"Yeah, about that...
Naruto's head slammed into table. When he finally spoke, his words were muffled against the wood. "Raven has her, doesn't she?"
...possibly." he hedged the word with great reluctance. "Wait, you didn't think to ask the last time you...?"
His head snapped up. "I didn't want to go anywhere near her after our last spat."
Qrow's tongue turned to lead in his mouth. "Don't tell me you two actually-
"No." Naruto turned up his nose. "I still have standards."
"Ohthankthebrothers...
"You do realize," his old friend continued slowly, "Once I get involved in this again, I won't be able to stop." he straightened a bit in his seat, looking less a drunk and more the man he'd once been. "I already swore this life off once for Summer's sake." a spark snarled through his eyes, ancient and unknowable. "If I step back in, I'm not going to stop until I finish what she started. No holds barred." he leaned forward, causing the table to creak under the weight of his grip. "Do you understand?"
Qrow frowned. "Sure, I get it-
The mug shattered in Naruto's hand, cutting him short.
"I don't think you do." The whiskered warrior cocked his head to one side, rather reminding Qrow of a starving fox regarding a wary bird. "If your sister decides to be a bitch about things -again!- I'm going to kick her ass to kingdom come." he snapped his fingers like a pair of matchsticks. "If that Spring Maiden of hers puts up a fight?" his hand crashed down on the table. "I'll beat her into the ground." Now that hand clenched into a claw, tearing deep divots into the worn wooden frame. "If we run into these "agents" you're so concerned about, I'll kill them."
Despite his best efforts to maintain his composure, the unlucky huntsman found himself aghast.
"Y'know, I'd forgotten how intense you got when someone pissed you off.
Blue eyes flashed white. "You have no idea. We doing this, or not?"
'Really coulda used your help with this guy, Summer...
By rights, he should refuse him and take his words back. Naruto had always been a loose cannon at the best of times. But now...?
It was like unleashing one demon to kill another. Cinder Fall was a bad bitch, make no mistake. Raven wasn't much better. But that thing Naruto was drowning deep inside himself, that abomination he kept locked way in the depths of his soul...well, Qrow feared no man nor beast, but that thing? That scared him. More than Cinder, more than Raven, hells, more than Salem herself. Sometimes you needed a monster to fight monsters. Men dreaded them. Ran from them. If had a lick of sense, he'd be doing the same right now.
And yet...
"Just," he swallowed one to master himself, "Just don't lose your head out there, alright?"
Naruto thumped his mug on the table. "There are things worse than death, Qrow."
There really were.
"Alright." He offered him a hand. "Glad to have ya."
Blue eyes flicked down to his hand. Naruto didn't move. For a moment he wondered if the blond was having him on, but no, his gaze was all too sharp despite his drunken state.
...also, I want one of the questions."
"You know about the Lamp, too? Qrow perked up. "Why?"
"My business." a hand sliced through the air to silence him. "Not yours. What'll it be?"
He grimaced all the same. "Is it about...?"
"No." Naruto smiled, and this time it felt genuine. "Kaguya and I have come to an...agreement for now. I keep her drunk off her arse, let her smite whoever pisses her off, and in return she doesn't destroy your world. Oops." he frowned suddenly, a light burning in his eyes. "Speakin' of which!" he snatched a stray bottle from the passing barkeep, tipped back to his lips and polished it off. "Much better!" a rough hand slammed it down as he guffawed. "Was starting to get sober for a second there."
Qrow sighed.
"Fine." Qrow offered his hand one last time. "Just...try not to scare the kids too much.
"Meh." Naruto hiccuped and waved a palm, already tipsy from his hasty drink. "I make no promises."
Qrow forbore the urge to roll his eyes. A bird with bad luck enlisting the aid of a cursed fox. Sounded like something straight out of a storybook. Still, he didn't have much choice in the matter. If he wanted this to work -and make no mistake, they needed this to work- he'd have to play ball. Like it or not, they were stuck with each other for the time being. And so he reached the rest of the way across to grasp his hand. Clawed fingers bit into his painfully, and he fought down a grimace
It was a dark day indeed when a drunk went and hired yet another drunk to beat up their deadbeat sister...
Bah. He'd done stranger things. On a whim, Qrow snatched the bottle and knocked it back.
Bottoms Up.
A/N: Once more, Embers Rule. If folks don't like it, poof! To the bin it goes. Might even delete it entirely.
Pairing is going to be an...unorthodox one. I'm aiming for a surprise here. Care to guess it? I aim to make it something...new.
So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Review...Would You Kindly?
And enjoy these previews!
Remember, Cinder and co. confronted Raven first in canon. But I wonder...
...what would happen if they all blundered into her at the same time?
Lets get crazy~!
SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!
READ IF YOU DARE!
(Previews!)
"Soo...we're going after Raven?"
Qrow sighed. "Something like that, kiddo. Don't tell Leo. Best he doesn't know."
"Wowwww...someone who drinks more than Uncle Qrow. I'm actually impressed."
Naruto sketched a slurring, stumbling bow. "Thank ya!"
"That wasn't a compliment!"
"I have a Maiden!"
"Oh, that's cute." Qrow stepped aside. "We have this guy. Say hello, whiskers."
Naruto smiled. "Hello~!"
Raven choked. "Why is that thing here in my camp?!"
"Thing, am I?" a blond brow quirked. "Raven, I'm hurt. I thought we were friends...
"With you, maybe! Not that monster inside of you!" She drew her blade in a flourish of red steel. "Get out!
"I've stared death in the face over and over again!" she stalked down the steps, her face hidden behind her mask, but anger in her voice all the same. "And every time I've spat in that face and survived because I'm strong enough to do what others won't! And I will NOT stand by while you-
An uppercut cracked into Raven's chin, launching her back into the tent.
Vernal whistled. "Hot damn."
She wanted that.
Cinder frowned. "I'm sorry...are we interrupting?"
R&R~!
~Nz.