Title: Birthday Traditions 8

Author: Kate McCaye

Rating: T

Setting: Season 8, before Reckoning and Threads (although there might be a bit of Post-Threads at the very end.)

Summary: Cassie decides to use Daniel and Sam's party to knock some sense into Jack, Sam, and maybe even Pete.

Ch 1: Conspiring

General Jack O'Neill looked up as a familiar knock on the open door drew his attention away from the file he was reading. "Come on in, Daniel," he called.

Daniel entered, with Teal'c behind him. It was unusual, these days, for the two of them to come see him without Carter, so he closed the folder he was reading and crossed his hands on his desk as the two of them sat down, looking like they had something specific on their minds.

"What's up, guys?" Jack asked.

"We, um, wanted to talk to you," Daniel started.

"I gathered that, Danny. What is it you want to talk about?"

"Um, well. You know what next week is, right?"

Jack sighed. He should have known this was coming. "Yes, Daniel. Next week is your birthday. Yours and Carter's, who I cannot help but notice is not here, unless she's built her own personal cloaking device and failed to mention it to me."

"Right," Daniel said, shifting in his seat and looking at Teal'c.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at Daniel, turned his attention to Jack, and said, "What are you planning for this year's festivities, O'Neill?"

"Well... Daniel, I don't want to disappoint you, but you're a big boy so I'm sure you'll understand. It's just a little too crazy around here right now for me to be planning a big party, and for all of us to be out of touch with the base for that long."

"Jack..." Daniel started.

Jack raised a hand to stave off the objections. "I'm sorry, Daniel, but there's just too much to do here. And Carter's busier than ever now anyway, I doubt we'd be able to drag her away either. But I would still love to take you boys out for drinks next week to celebrate your birthday, Danny."

"What about Sam?" Daniel demanded.

"She's invited, of course, and if she can come we'll celebrate hers too. But she's the only person on this base busier than me at the moment Daniel. It's not practical expecting both of us to commit to being at a party all night, plus all the planning on my part before hand."

"Last year we were about to be invaded by Anubis and his super soldiers, who at that point were still undefeatable as Sam hadn't finished the weapon yet, and you still managed to convince Hammond to let us all go to Disney World," Daniel reminded him.

"And aren't you glad we have those wonderful memories now that we're all buried under this mountain?"

"Yes, of course, but... what I'm saying is, if you could make time then, why not now?"

"Things are different now, Daniel."

"You mean things are different with Sam now," Daniel said bluntly.

Jack looked at him steadily. "Daniel. Drop it, please. You might not like what's happened with Carter's personal life, but it's her personal life. Not yours, or yours," he looked pointedly at Teal'c, who was remaining silent but still managing to reinforce everything Daniel was saying. "And certainly not mine," he finished. "And you might not like the way I choose to deal with things, but that's not exactly a newsflash, now is it? So, I'll ask you one more time. Please, drop it."

Daniel opened his mouth again but it was Teal'c who spoke first. "Very well, O'Neill. We will let you get back to work. Come, Daniel Jackson." He put a 'supportive' hand on Daniel's shoulder, but judging by the way Daniel was trying to hide a wince of pain, it was really more of a warning than anything else.

Daniel and Teal'c left. Jack watched them go, gave a little cough, and forced himself to get back to work.

In the hallway, Daniel shrugged out of Teal'c's grasp immediately and demanded, "What did you do that for?"

"I believe the Tau'ri expression is, 'We were speaking to a wall of bricks.'"

"Talking to a brick wall, yeah, but so what else is new. That's Jack..."

"Precisely Daniel Jackson. Which is why I believe we would accomplish our goal much faster if we enlisted someone else's assistance."

"Sam's not going to ask him to..."

"I am not speaking of Colonel Carter, Daniel Jackson, although I am speaking of another young, attractive, intelligent woman. One who can convince O'Neill to do anything, and does not take no for an answer."

Daniel thought quickly for a few seconds and finally got it. "Teal'c, you're a genius! And you're absolutely right. Come on. Let's go call Cassie."

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"Hey, Cass, your cell phone was ringing," Cassie's roommate called as Cassie entered their dorm room after her last class of the day.

"Hey, Aileen. Thanks." Cassie dumped her stuff in her chair and flopped down on her bed, grabbing her cell phone to see who had called. She quickly returned the call and waited impatiently for Daniel to answer.

"Daniel Jackson."

"Daniel, hey, it's Cassie, you just called?"

"Yeah, hi Cassie. How's everything?"

"Great. So what's up?"

"Right to the point, huh. Okay, well, you know next week is our birthday."

"Yup."

"Well... Jack's being... Jack. He's making up excuses about having too much to do at the SGC to organize a party and all that, but really we think..."

"It's because Sam's marrying the doorknob, right?" Cassie interrupted.

"Right," Daniel said, laughing. "So, anyway, we tried to talk to him about it but of course he wouldn't even listen. So we figured it was time to call the expert."

"Don't worry about it, Daniel, I'll take care of everything," Cassie promised.

"Are you sure? I know you're busy with school..."

"This is just as important to me as it is to you guys. This could get ugly though, I'm warning you. If I do this we're going to be giving them both huge wake-up calls too glaringly obvious for them to ignore, okay?"

"Sounds good to me," Daniel said quickly. "Do whatever you have to do."

"Okay. Let me do a little planning before I call Jack. I'll talk to you later. Say hi to T for me."

"Will do. Bye, Cass. Thank you."

Cassie hung up her cell phone and turned to her roommate, who was watching her curiously. "What the hell are you planning?" she asked.

"Aileen, you're going to have the room to yourself next weekend. I'm going home."

"To do what?" Aileen asked with a smile, knowing it had to be something good.

"Let's just say I'll be playing 'Parent Trap.'"

"Ooh, sounds like fun. Hayley Mills or Lindsey Lohan?"

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Come on, do you even have to ask? Hayley Mills, no contest. And you're going to help me with a few preliminary details..."

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Jack squinted at his computer screen and tried to focus. He was fairly certain that in the months since he'd taken over command of the SGC, he had read so many files and spent so long staring at a computer screen that he was going to need reading glasses when his next physical came round.

The phone rang, providing a much-welcome distraction. "O'Neill," he answered.

"Hi, Jack," a familiar, cheerful voice said over the phone.

"Cassie! Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Just peachy."

"You're working late."

"Always. What's up?"

"Well, Aileen, Ashley, and I were shopping today and I saw something awesome to get Sam for her birthday, and that reminded me that I have no idea what the plans are this year. Next weekend, right? I kind of need to know so I can get all my schoolwork out of the way during the week."

"Kid, I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner," Jack said, grimacing. "We're not going to be able to have a party this year. But I'm sure Carter would love to see you anyway..."

"What do you mean, no party?"

"We're just really busy right now, there's just not enough time..."

"I can help you get everything organized, so you don't have to do it all by yourself."

"Nah, I know how busy you are, Cass, it's not a big..."

"Yes it is, Jack!" Cassie put on her best whiny voice and took a deep breath, winking at Aileen, who was watching the entire performance. "It is a big deal, Jack, it's huge. This is like our only real family tradition. Even when Daniel was gone you didn't let it end, now you're going to let a bunch of lousy paperwork ruin everything? I've been looking forward to this for a long time, coming home to see everybody... I know I haven't been home much, because it's just so much easier not to think about Mom when I'm here, in a completely separate environment, but I'm finally okay with the idea of coming home just to you guys and I was really looking forward to seeing all of you..." That part at least didn't have to be faked.

Jack sighed heavily. "Cassie, I love it that you want to come home, but you can just come, you don't need an excuse..."

"It's not an excuse, Jack, and it's not just about Sam and Daniel's birthday... it's never been just about that, and you know it. Please, Jack? I swear I'll do everything if you want, you won't have to do anything but show up, okay?"

Jack took a deep breath, knowing he was going to regret doing this. But how could he refuse the pleading tone of her voice? "All right, Cass. You don't have to do everything, but I will take you up on the offer of help."

"You mean it? Oh, that's wonderful, Jack, thank you so much, you won't regret it. It'll be so much fun and I'll help with whatever you want, and it'll be great! You sounded so tired when I first called, Jack, I really think you need this party just as much as Sam and Daniel..."

"Cassie, slow down a second, okay? Look, if we're going to do this, we're going to have to do it right," Jack said seriously.

"Of course, we'll have to decide if we're going to have a theme or..."

"Not just that. I'm talking about Pete. Cass... we have to invite him. And make sure Carter knows he's actually welcome."

Cassie grinned, remembering her recent Christmas behavior. She had stubbornly refused to stay at Sam's as long as Pete was there, and had actually gone to great lengths to avoid meeting him at all. She couldn't believe Sam had agreed to marry that guy... of course, she had heard from Daniel how it had taken her a long time to say 'yes,' and how she still didn't seem very excited about it, but still... Cassie had never had any desire to be in the same room with Pete. Unfortunately, the avoidance strategy clearly wasn't working.

Cassie was determined now to meet the problem head on. It was actually crucial to her plan that Pete come to the party. Force Jack and Pete together and show Sam once and for all what was blatantly obvious to everyone else (and what, Cassie was positive, Sam already knew and was choosing to ignore), that Pete Shanahan just couldn't hold a candle to Jack O'Neill.

But Jack wasn't to know any of that. At least not yet. And if she agreed right away, he would be onto her in a second. She had to act like she normally would. "Jaaaaaaaaack," she whined dramatically. "Why do we have to invite Pete, why can't it just be the family?"

"Pete is going to be part of your family, Cassie. I'm really sorry you don't want him around, but he's part of Carter's life and so are you. You can't avoid him forever."

"Fine!" she said loudly. "Invite Pete, see if I care! But I'm staying at your house again, there's no way I'm going to sleep at Sam's if he's going to be there!"

"That sounds like a reasonable compromise," Jack said. "I'll get your room ready."

"Don't worry about me. I'll call you later when I start gathering ideas, okay? Jack? This is going to be fun, I promise." Cassie winced as she said it. Most likely, parts of this party were definitely going to be the exact opposite of fun. But it was for a good cause.

"I'm sure it will," Jack said somewhat dryly. "Bye, Cassie."

"Bye, Jack. See you soon!"

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Cassie hung up the phone and grinned triumphantly at Aileen. "Piece of cake. Speaking of which, let's get to planning some of those details."

"Fill me in on this whole big history first though, so I can actually help. I know Sam's your godmother and Jack's your godfather, so... you're trying to get them back together?"

"Sort of... it's complicated," Cassie said. "See, technically they were never really even together, but to the rest of us, they were sort of... always a couple. Just a couple that couldn't actually be together. But the idea of either of them with someone else... it was just ridiculous, you know? I think my mom knew that even when we first met them... after we moved here and all. She made them both my godparents, like she knew that they'd always be together in one way or another, even though Jack and Sam hadn't even known each other for very long at that point. It's just one of those obvious things, you know? The kind that was always way more obvious to everyone around them than it to Jack and Sam themselves."

"Wow, that's so sweet."

"Yeah. So anyway, they were never technically together because they work for the Air Force, and they're in the same chain of command, so there's all these stupid rules and regulations about that. They would get arrested and thrown out of the military if they had any sort of non-platonic relationship."

"That sucks."

"Big time," Cassie agreed. "So anyway, they all work at this base, where my mom worked too, you know, and their other best friends are these guys, Daniel and Teal'c."

"You've talked about them before. Teal'c's from Africa?"

"Yeah, that's why he's got an unusual name. I always kind of thought of them like uncles. Anyway, after they all got transferred to that base and met and became friends and all, they found out that Daniel and Sam have the same birthday. Just a weird coincidence. But Jack was always joking that Daniel and Sam were the 'science twins' long before they knew they really do have the same birthday, so it sort of became this thing. He threw them a birthday party one year, like they were little kids. He's like the toughest, bravest man I know, but he still can be really thoughtful and sweet too, he just doesn't like anyone to give him any credit for it, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"So, anyway, it became this thing, every year we have a birthday party for them. And there's usually a theme and all... then, okay, the... third year, yeah, third year, because I was thirteen, we were at this place we always used to go called O'Malleys, like a bar and grill with pool tables and everything. And I went to the bathroom and caught Jack and Sam in there kissing."

"In the women's room?"

"Yup. And not just a friendly peck, full-on kissing kissing. Anyway, Sam told me that it was actually their own private tradition... apparently the first year, they kissed at the end of the party and decided that if it was strictly a birthday thing, it would be okay once a year, every year. Sort of a compromise, I guess, so that they didn't have to worry about military regulations but didn't have to pretend there was absolutely nothing between them."

"Cassie... this is like a movie or something!"

"I know. Believe me, when I found out, I blackmailed them both for years. I made Jack teach me how to drive his truck when I was about fourteen, I made Sam take me to get my belly-button pierced... I was terrible."

"Well, how could you pass up a chance like that?"

"Exactly! So anyway, last year was a huge celebration. Sam and Daniel took a vacation to Disney World, and the rest of us joined them at the weekend. It was so great. It was right before my mom died, and I always... I've always been really thankful that Jack gave us all that trip together."

"Wow. So, you're the only one who knows that they kiss every year?"

"Not anymore. At first I was, but then I found out that Teal'c already knew too. And Daniel found out last year, and he told my mom when he realized she was the last one who didn't know. So now, Sam knows that everyone knows, but Jack doesn't know that Daniel knows. Or that my mom knew."

"This is so complicated!"

"It gets worse. Sam is engaged. To this absolute... dork. I don't know, I guess there's probably nothing really wrong with him, he's just such a... a goober. And of course, his main problem is that he's not Jack."

"So why is she..."

"I have no idea. Nobody knows. I know last year, there was a big thing about them kissing, because she had just started to date Pete. I don't know all the details, just that she swore to him it wasn't serious with Pete and they kissed anyway. But since then... well, I really have no idea. I mean, everything was so crazy, with my mom dying right when I was about to graduate... everything else just got pushed to the side for a long time."

"Well, of course, I mean, it's your mom."

"But lately, I don't know. I've been thinking. I really think that if my mom were alive, Sam wouldn't be marrying Pete. She works on a military base, without Mom there, and with me here, she has no girlfriends to talk to. And I know that my mom would have made her realize a long time ago that Pete is just a waste of time. So, I kind of feel like it's my job now."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to help Jack throw a great birthday party. I'm going to update Sam and Daniel's photo albums for them and leave them out where Pete can see them. There are some pictures in there of Jack and Sam that it's impossible to look at and not see how crazy about each other they are. For their gifts from me, I'm going to make them new photo albums just about our vacation to Disney World. My mom and I hit this scrapbooking store at Downtown Disney, and it was going to be our project. I haven't been able to do it by myself, but if you'll help me with it I'm ready now."

"Of course I'll help you, Cass."

"Thanks. I'm going to set the scene perfectly, so that even someone as numbskulled as Pete Shanahan will be able to see that he's trying to walk into the middle of a family. We're not related by blood but we're all a lot closer than most real families. And he's going to see that he's never going to fit in, that it's not just Sam's professional life that will never be accessible to him; her personal life won't either."

"Sounds good."

"Daniel and Teal'c will help me, although Teal'c will do it very subtly... but I think they've both had about as much of this Pete Shanahan thing as they can take too. But if you're not doing anything next weekend, I'd really appreciate it if you would go with me, Aileen."

"Really? But it's your family, Cassie..."

"I know, but Pete's going to be there. And I really want you to meet them all anyway. Besides, you'll be a huge help."

"I would like to meet your godparents, and see what you've been talking about for myself."

"Awesome! The only thing is, their base has a bunch of top secret stuff they can't talk about, so just don't ask them any questions about work, or they'll just make up some dumb cover story anyway."

Aileen shrugged. "Why would I want to ask them questions about where they work? Sounds like there'll be much more interesting things going on."

"Most definitely," Cassie agreed.

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"Okay, Jack, do you have a specific theme you want this year, for the party?"

"Not really," Jack said into the phone, picking at his lunch as he talked.

"Well, I was thinking maybe since Daniel missed out on a normal college experience, and you've already sort of made up for his lack of childhood with other parties, we could do a college-type party this year."

"Cass, I don't think..."

"I'm thinking a toga party," Cassie said quickly.

"Cassie! I'm not parading around in a toga. Besides, there will only be... six people there! That's hardly enough for a rave or whatever you're into these days."

"Hmm, I guess you're right. Okay, then just a nice, grown-up party?"

"That sounds more like it," Jack approved.

"How about a costume party?" Cassie suggested quickly.

Jack sighed. "Fine, whatever. I'll order the cakes and buy the decorations. When are you and your friend getting here?"

"Late Friday afternoon," Cassie told him. "That'll give us Friday and Saturday to get ready for it. And Aileen and I will take care of all the shopping, putting up the decorations, and everything. You won't have to do anything you don't have time for."

"All right, Cass. I really do appreciate the help, you know. Sorry I've been kind of... not into the party this year, it's just..."

"I understand, Jack," Cassie said quietly.

"Yeah, I know you do, kid. I'll see you Friday, okay?"

"Bye, Jack. I love you."

"Love you too. Bye." Jack hung up the phone and smiled as the rest of his team entered his office with their lunch trays.

He avoided the commissary whenever he could now, as people were constantly coming up to him with requests while he tried to eat. Not wanting this to mean he missed out on seeing his team, they had quickly started having lunch with him in his office several days a week.

"Were you just on the phone, sir?" Carter asked as she took a seat.

"Yup. Talking to my party planner."

Carter's eyes widened and she looked at Daniel, smiling and looking surprised. Daniel smiled back. "Your party planner?" Carter asked. "Would that be Cassie by any chance, sir?"

"Yes, that's what it says on her business card. She's expensive and pushy but she does know what she's doing."

Carter and Daniel laughed. "So... what's the theme for this year?" Daniel asked.

"Surprise for you two, Danny boy," he said, pointing his fork at both of them. "You oughta know that by now. And Cassie's bringing her roommate, and Carter, I assume you're bringing Pete, so if you two boys can trick some women into coming with you, go right ahead," Jack added casually. He couldn't quite look Carter in the eyes as he said it, but he did manage to look her in the forehead.

"Very funny Jack," Daniel said sarcastically. He knew Jack was just saying it to take the focus off the Pete issue, and therefore refrained from bringing up the fact that actually, of the three men in the room, Jack was the one with the incredibly long dry-spell running. That would just draw everyone's attention back to the Pete issue once again, and make the entire lunch awkward.

"Sir, it's nice of you to invite Pete, but I don't know if he'll be in town next weekend," Carter started.

"I believe you told me that he would be here the next three weekends in a row, Colonel Carter," Teal'c said casually, his tone not betraying the fact that he knew damn well what he was doing.

"Thanks, Teal'c," Carter said, smiling at him with clenched teeth. "I had forgotten."

"Great," Jack said with about ten times as much enthusiasm as he truly felt. "So, looks like he'll be able to make it after all!"

"Yeah, great," Carter said, stabbing moodily at the thing on her plate that the commissary laughingly called lasagna.

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"Oh God, Cassie, this is really wicked, are you sure about this?" Aileen asked as she and Cassie were busy making plans for the party.

"Absolutely... hey, it could be worse. We could tell him it's a costume party when it's not and have him show up in some ridiculous outfit while everyone else is dressed to the nines... but that's been done before, hasn't it?"

"Yes. I think maybe we've watched 'Bridget Jones' too many times," Aileen commented.

"Nah, that's impossible. Anyway, we'll just conveniently forget to pass on to Pete that it's a costume party. Then he shows up in his normal, boring clothes and everyone else is dressed up... ooh, let's pick really masculine costumes for all the guys, to intimidate him extra."

"And then we should conveniently have a few odds and ends lying around to help him fashion a last-minute costume, if he wants, but have really terrible things that'll make him look completely ridiculous," Aileen suggested.

"God, that's brilliant!"

"Thanks. And we have to pick a really great outfit for your godmother too."

"Yeah... but it can't be too obvious that's what we're doing. It's got to look like we didn't plan this all quite so carefully. Oh, and whatever we pick has to go with a tiara. Jack always makes her wear a tiara, and Daniel's got a top hat. But I think he'll be switching hats, because I've got the perfect costume for him."

"Ooh, what is it?"

"Remember Brad, at the Kappa costume party?"

"Oh yeah," Aileen said, smiling fondly at the memory.

"We're going to borrow his whip."

"Awesome. Is your godfather going to be okay with us doing this to Pete?"

"We're not going to tell him. He always want to surprise Daniel and Sam with the theme of the party, so hopefully it won't even occur to him that that means Pete will be out of the loop. And by the time he figures it out, the party will be under way and there won't be anything he can do about it. Besides, he might scold us but I guarantee you he'll actually think it's hilarious."

"Okay. So what sort of costume should we get for him?"

"That's a tough one, it's got to be perfect... something that will really grab Sam's attention, and intimidate the crap out of Pete at the same time... we're going to have to think about that one."

"Okay, what about Teal'c?"

"You've never seen Teal'c. He could look intimidating in a tutu." Aileen laughed as Cassie continued. "Of course, we won't make him try. I'll just ask Teal'c what he wants to be and see if he needs help. His biceps are like bigger than my body, so like I said, it doesn't much matter what he actually wears. He's obsessed with Star Wars, so I'm guessing he'll pick something from there. Now, about Jack..."

"Is there some specific get-up we could put him in that would really grab your godmother's attention?" Aileen tried.

"Hmm, I don't know. The thing with Jack and Sam is, it doesn't really matter what they're wearing, they're pretty much always checking each other out when they think nobody's looking."

"How old did you say they are?"

"Yeah, I know, it's kind of weird, but it's cute. See, the problem is, if we're trying to make him look all manly and stuff, well, she sees that all the time. I think she likes him best in his BDUs... Air Force uniform," Cassie explained. "But we can't have him just wear that... although the stars on it probably would intimidate Pete... but no, we need to show that he's threatening apart from the uniform too. And we can't have him look silly at all."

"This is hard."

"She likes it when he gets dressed up," Cassie said thoughtfully. "Because it's such a rare occurrence..."

Aileen picked up a picture off of Cassie's desk, of all of SG1 plus the Fraisers, and studied it curiously. "Does he have a tux?" she asked.

"That's a good idea... he could be James Bond or... somebody else in a tux. But no, is putting him in a tux a little bit too obvious, with the whole, 'Hey, marry this guy instead,' thing? Sam is like one of the smartest people on the planet, despite how dense she is about her own love life. I really don't want her to figure out we're behind all this or she'll just dig her heels in about Pete even harder."

"Cassie, this is starting to sound impossible! How are we supposed to think of a costume that's hot, not silly at all, and more masculine than an Air Force officer in uniform..."

"I don't know," Cassie admitted. "We'll have to think about this some more. Let's take a break from Jack's costume and think about Sam's. I'm thinking we want her to look great, obviously, but we also want her to be a little bit uncomfortable. Not wearing something she herself would have chosen. That way, if she's already physically uncomfortable, it will heighten how uncomfortable the situation with Pete and Jack is."

Aileen nodded. "I really don't think that your godparents would approve of the way you're using your psychology classes against them," she said, laughing as she went to their mini-fridge for a drink.

Cassie laughed. "Well, it is for their own good. Okay, we can deal with them later."

"Sounds good. Now, what are we going to wear?"

"Ooh, good question. Aileen?"

"Yeah?"

"This is going to work," Cassie declared confidently. "And it's also going to be a hell of a lot of fun."

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A/N: I'm beginning to post this literally right after finishing the first chapter, so updates will unfortunately not be as fast as I normally like, but I'll do my best. I've already got pretty firm ideas about costumes for each character, but I'm definitely open to any great ideas I've overlooked.